History Literature / TeamHuman

[[WellThisIsNotThatTrope Well, this is not that book.]] ''Team Human'' is a {{parody}} of [[ParanormalRomance teen vampire romance]] novels by Creator/JustineLarbalestier and Creator/SarahReesBrennan. The protagonist is Mel Duan, a Chinese-American girl who lives in the town of New Whitby, which has a large vampire population. Mel [[FantasticRacism strongly dislikes vampires]] as she thinks that their age, beauty, and immortality make them useless and unproductive. Meanwhile, her best friend Cathy has fallen madly in love with Francis, the school vampire. In a world where becoming a vampire has a chance of [[OurZombiesAreDifferent zombification]] or death, Mel sets out to stop Cathy from making a terrible mistake. On the way, she meets Kit, a human raised by vampires, who challenges her preconceived notions about vampires.

A significant subplot concerns Mel's other friend Anna, whose mother has been acting strangely after her father, a therapist, ran off with a vampire patient. [[spoiler:It turns out that the patient in question fell in love with him and tried to transform him against his will, which resulted in him becoming a zombie. Anna's mother hid him and made up the story about her husband running away with a patient to protect Anna from the truth]].

* WitchWithACapitalB: WordOfGod is that swearing was taken out of the book after the first draft to increase chances of it being picked up by schools and book fairs. This explains the "No more crazy wenches!" line.

* AmateurSleuth: Mel, {{lampshaded}} by Kit.

* FieryRedhead: Inverted for Anna.

* InterspeciesAdoption: Kit.

* RomanticVampireBoy: Francis.

* TragicMonster: [[spoiler:Dr. Saunders.]]

* VitriolicBestBuds: Francis' shade.

A YoungAdult novel about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire who goes to her school. [[{{Literature/Twilight}} Sound familiar?]]

** Mel assumes that Francis is working on a book about human and vampire relationships, hence that he's faking his relationship with Cath as "research". [[spoiler:He's actually investigating the strange activity at the school related to vampire behavior and Dr. Saunders's disappearance.]]
** Also when Cath decides to become a vampire, Mel assumes that Francis wanted Cath to turn immediately. [[spoiler:Francis right before he turns Cath tells Mel that he was willing to wait, since vampires have an eternity to wait, but it was Cath who wanted to become a vampire as soon as she could.]].

* BothSidesHaveAPoint: Mel and Cath's argument about the latter wanting to become a vampire. Mel points out that Francis is much older than her and potentially manipulative, Cath is a minor who needs a signed permission form from her oblivious mother, and that being a vampire means saying goodbye to an ordinary death, humor, and sunlight. Cath retorts that it's her choice, Francis is being entirely reasonable about the situation (he reveals that [[spoiler:he encouraged Cath to wait a few years to think about her decision and was surprised when she wanted to do it immediately]]), and she can live without the sun or humor for the rest of her undead life. In the end, [[spoiler:Mel reluctantly respects her decision and honors her promise to stay friends with Cath]].

** Mel tries to break up Cath and Francis, so as to save Cath from being turned. It doesn't work.

** Invoked and averted by vampire clinics; they make sure that a person wanting to be turned is aware of all the consequences. Cath has thought a lot about her decision to become a vampire, and is willing to lose her sense of humor.

A significant subplot concerns Mel's other friend Anna, whose mother has been acting strangely after her father, a therapist, ran off with a vampire patient. [[spoiler:It turns out that a vampiress fell in love with him and tried to transform him against his will, which resulted in him becoming a zombie. Anna's mother hid him and made up the story about her husband running away with a patient to protect Anna from the truth]].

* BothSidesHaveAPoint: Cath and Mel's argument about the latter wanting to become a vampire. Mel points out that Francis is much older than her and potentially manipulative, Cath is a minor who needs a signed permission form from her oblivious mother, and that being a vampire means saying goodbye to an ordinary death, humor, and sunlight. Cath retorts that it's her choice, Francis is being entirely reasonable about the situation (he reveals that [[spoiler:he encouraged Cath to wait a few years to think about her decision and was surprised when she wanted to do it immediately]]), and she can live without the sun or humor for the rest of her undead life. In the end, [[spoiler:Mel reluctantly respects her decision and honors her promise to stay friends with Cath]].

* AffectionateParody: Both authors claim to enjoy vampire novels.

Well, don't worry. ''Team Human'' is a ''{{parody}}'' of [[ParanormalRomance teen vampire romance]] novels by Creator/JustineLarbalestier and Creator/SarahReesBrennan. The protagonist is Mel Duan, a Chinese-American girl who lives in the town of New Whitby, which has a large vampire population. Mel [[FantasticRacism strongly dislikes vampires]] as she thinks that their age, beauty, and immortality make them useless and unproductive. Meanwhile, her best friend Cathy has fallen madly in love with Francis, the school vampire. In a world where becoming a vampire has a chance of [[OurZombiesAreDifferent zombification]] or death, Mel sets out to stop Cathy from making a terrible mistake. On the way, she meets Kit, a human raised by vampires, who challenges her preconceived notions about vampires.

* AdultFear: Anna has been dealing with the fact that her father ran off with one of his patients, leaving her and her mother in the lurch. [[spoiler:Then she finds out it's a lie, and her mother had something to do with Dr. Saunders' disappearance]].

Not related to the CastHerd of the same [[FanNickname name]] in ''Series/TeenWolf''.

->"Friends don't let friends date vampires."

* ZombieInfectee: The reason why zombies have to be quickly killed is that infection is spread by being bitten, and an outbreak can occur if they're not all contained.

!!This book contains examples of

* DidntThinkThisThrough: Invoked and averted by vampire clinics; they make sure that a person wanting to be turned is aware of all the consequences. Cath has thought a lot about her decision to become a vampire, and is willing to lose her sense of humor.

* StalkerWithACrush: [[spoiler:Rebecca Jones, the vampire patient that Anna's dad supposedly ran off with]].

* YourCheatingHeart: The focus of the subplot, [[spoiler:which is something else entirely]].

* AdultFear: Despite being a light-hearted AffectionateParody, ''Team Human'' has its scary moments.
** The city has a park named after an IllGirl whose father thought turning her into a vampire would save her from a terminal disease. Instead, she went on a murderous rampage before getting exterminated.
** Cath's mother doesn't think twice about signing a form allowing Cath to be turned underage. Mel considers it a FailedASpotCheck moment.
** The poor [[spoiler:Saunders family. Every one of them. Dr. Saunders for getting turned by a patient unwillingly and becoming a violent zombie; his wife chaining him up so that he doesn't kill anyone, feeding him her blood and lying to everyone; and Anna for thinking that her dad ran off with a patient and feeling utterly betrayed. When the truth comes out, and he breaks free, the zombified Dr. Saunders nearly kills his wife and daughter.]]

* BiTheWay: [[spoiler:Ty, as revealed at the very end of the novel.]]

** The poor [[spoiler: Saunders family. Every one of them. Dr. Saunders for getting turned by a patient unwillingly and becoming a violent zombie; his wife chaining him up so that he doesn't kill anyone, feeding him her blood and lying to everyone; and Anna for thinking that her dad ran off with a patient and feeling utterly betrayed. When the truth comes out, and he breaks free, the zombified Dr. Saunders nearly kills his wife and daughter.]]

** Mel assumes that Francis is working on a book about human and vampire relationships, hence that he's faking his relationship with Cath as "research". [[spoiler: He's actually investigating the strange activity at the school related to vampire behavior and Dr. Saunders's disappearance.]]

** [[spoiler: Anna's mother lied to Anna via text, saying that her father ran off with a patient, rather than reveal that said patient turned him into a vampire against his will, making him a zombie. In this case she was trying to save her zombie husband from being exterminated by the vampire police, as well as saving Anna from seeing her father turned.]]
* ChekhovsGun: Dr. Saunders's cellphone. [[spoiler: If only [[IdiotBall his wife hadn't hid it in the house]].]]

** Justified in [[spoiler: Principal Saunders's case, since what great plan is there to keep your husband safe after he's become a zombie? Though it was stupid to hide him in the school]].

* SuicideBySunlight: This was mentioned as they way vampires commit suicide, usually because there was something about being human that they miss as vampires.

* YourCheatingHeart: The focus of the subplot[[spoiler: which is something else entirely]].

Well, don't worry. ''Team Human'' is a ''{{parody}}'' of [[ParanormalRomance teen vampire romance]] novels by [[Literature/{{Liar}} Justine Larbalestier]] and [[TheDemonsLexicon Sarah Rees Brennan]]. The protagonist is Mel Duan, a Chinese-American girl who lives in the town of New Whitby, which has a large vampire population. Mel [[FantasticRacism strongly dislikes vampires]] as she thinks that their age, beauty, and immortality make them useless and unproductive. Meanwhile, her best friend Cathy has fallen madly in love with Francis, the school vampire. In a world where becoming a vampire has a chance of [[OurZombiesAreDifferent zombification]] or death, Mel sets out to stop Cathy from making a terrible mistake. On the way, she meets Kit, a human raised by vampires, who challenges her preconceived notions about vampires.

* BaitAndSwitch: Mel assumes that Francis is working on a book about human and vampire relationships, hence that he's faking his relationship with Cath as "research". [[spoiler: He's actually investigating the strange activity at the school related to vampire behavior.]]

* WhiteMaleLead: Averted. Mel is a Chinese-American girl and is depicted as one on the cover.

* CultureClash: Mel and Kit do this several times, since Mel has never met a vampire before the beginning of the book, and Kit's only exposure to humans has been vampire groupies.

* ChekhovsGun: Dr. Saunders's cellphone. If only [[IdiotBall his wife hadn't hid it in the house]].

* BaitAndSwitch: Mel assumes that Francis is working on a book about human and vampire relationships. [[spoiler: He's actually investigating the strange activity at the school related to vampire behavior.]]

* BreakHearHeartToSaveHer: Happens twice, though not by the vampire.