History Funny / TheXFiles

-->'''Mulder:''' Just tell her how you feel. And Holman? [[BlatantLies I do not ''gaze'' at Scully.]]

** At the beginning, Mulder is trying -- and failing -- to write a report that satisfactorily explains this whole mess, and has been trying for several hours, judging by the crumpled up balls of paper surrounding his wastepaper basket. When his latest effort fails to go into the bin as well, Mulder gets up to apparently clean up the mess, only to suddenly explode and start kicking and stomping the shit of the bin instead. All the while Scully just watches incredulously.

** The moment a drugged-out Mulder sings the theme to "Shaft".

--->'''Mulder:''' Look, your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... hell, I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret, your brother's name is Bill. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately you've been having for lunch, I dunno, this six ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt into which you stir some bee pollen because your on some kind of bee pollen kick, even though I tell you you're a scientist and you really should know better.\\

** If you're not convinced, at least consider: the moment a drugged-out Mulder sings the theme to "Shaft".
-->'''Mulder:''' ''I did not!''

** This (a flying squirrel jump):
-->'''Scully:''' You're saying that I actually hit him two times?\\

-->'''Clyde Bruckman:''' You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.\\

-->'''Mulder:''' Look, your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... hell, I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret, your brother's name is Bill. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately you've been having for lunch, I dunno, this six ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt into which you stir some bee pollen because your on some kind of bee pollen kick, even though I tell you you're a scientist and you really should know better.\\

-->'''Scully:''' Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body’s still in shock.\\

** "....The entomologist's name is 'Bambi'?"
** "You two look [[IncrediblyLamePun pooped]]."

* From the first movie, after Mulder was in a building with a large bomb:
-->'''Scully:''' I saw your face, Mulder. There was a definite moment of panic.\\

--->'''Langly:''' Did you figure out how he died?
---> '''Sculy:''' My medical opinion? Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep *splat*.

* "The Rain King"
** The two are just swaying back and forth together. Couples as a heartwarming moment, considering [[{{PowerOfLove}} what the rest of the episode is about]].

-->'''Mulder:''' Yeah... he wants advice. Dating advice.\\

-->'''Scully:''' Why do ''you'' always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?\\

-->'''Mulder:''' So, what are you up to right now, sir?\\

* "Trevor"

-->'''Scully:''' Should we arrest David Copperfield?\\

** Another exchange from the same scene:
-->'''Scully:''' Spontaneous human combustion.\\

** What about the part where Mulder attempts to fend off a group of vampires with a cross... made from a pair of breadsticks?
** And this:

** Also:

** While comparing stories, Mulder makes a point of mentioning the sheriff had "big buckteeth", which Scully of course contradicts. When they return to the little town and we find out the sheriff ''doesn't'' actually have buckteeth, Scully just looks at Mulder and taps her front teeth with her finger.
*** It gets better; when called on this by Scully, Mulder sheepishly retorts that the sheriff "had a slight overbite." When we meet the sheriff again he does, in fact, have a slight overbite. Scully's memory [[FemaleGaze wasn't entirely accurate either, it seems]]...

** Luke Wilson was absolutely hilarious in his role of the vampire Sheriff Lucius Hartwell. Especially from Mulder's point of view. Scully's has its own [[FemaleGaze merrit]] too, though.
* "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose"
** This exchange:

** That whole episode is absolutely hilarious, while also being a Tear Jerker and Nightmare Fuel. Quite an achievement, really.

-->'''Mulder:''' ''(trying to convince Scully the random [[TheMenInBlack Man in Black]] is really him)'' Look, your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... hell, I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret, your brother's name is Bill. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately you've been having for lunch, I dunno, this six ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt into which you stir some bee pollen because your on some kind of bee pollen kick, even though I tell you you're a scientist and you really should know better.\\

** Also from "Dreamland", we have Scully's comment after she's finally caught wise to the MIB and Mulder finally having switched bodies. After having put up with Faux Mulder calling her "baby" a lot and trying to hit on her, she finally agrees to come to "Mulder's" apartment and plays along -- only long enough to get a chance to handcuff him to the bed, pull a gun on him, and then growl, "'Baby' me one more time and you'll be PEEING THROUGH A CATHETER."

-->'''Scully:''' I must remind you, this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents staying in the same motel room while on assignment.\\

-->"Mulder, when you find me dead, my dessicated corpse propped up staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting into the gutter, just know that my last thoughts were of you... and how I'd like to kill you."
* "Small Potatoes"

** Also from that episode, Scully talking about how great it is that the bizarre corpse they found is "preserved and intact"... just as Mulder, unseen by her, breaks the tail off it. The OhCrap look on his face is priceless.
** ''Also'' from that one, Eddie Van Blundht Sr. asking if they want to see ''his'' tail. Mulder looks excited while Scully says, "No! No, thank you."
** "His name's Luke Skywalker. He's what they call a Jedi Knight."

* "....The entomologist's name is 'Bambi'?"

-->'''Mulder:''' I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. No, not... not a girly scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? I mean, the mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was... repulsed.\\

** Also from that episode:
--> '''Mulder:''' Scully, I never thought I'd say this, but you smell bad.
** The phone conversations between Mulder and Scully ALWAYS get me. But the Queequeg one is BY FAR the best.

** CSM is revealed to be the reason the Bills keep losing the Super Bowl.

** "I had you big time." First time, CrowningMomentOfFunny. Second time, CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming.

-->"Did you figure out how he died?"\\
"My medical opinion? Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep *splat*."
** Any of the following Scully scenes too. ("I don't understand; why would the government want to turn Scully into a bimbo?")

** {{UST}} at its finest. Also:

* Virtually all of "Humbug", but Scully eating the cricket takes the prize. Double so because, despite having the alternative of a more palatable, Gillian Anderson ''actually ate it''.
** Humbug gets extra points for being the first real comedy episode of the show, and still possibly the funniest of the whole run. A good one is when one of the circus-folk characters looks disgustedly at Mulder, who is unconciously striking a catalogue pose in the background, and asks Scully, 'can you imagine going through your whole life looking like that?'

** The two are just swaying back and forth together. Couples as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, considering [[{{PowerOfLove}} what the rest of the episode is about]].

** But this one in particular is a gem:

** And when she finally gets to drive... She has to pull the seat forward for reaching the pedals. (A FandomNod to a common bit of fan pedantry.)

** Mulder goes into the diner and everyone stares and smiles at him. He finds it a little strange. He looks humble but he also seems to enjoy the attention. Absolutely hilarious scene, accompanied by the episode's [[AwesomeMusic amazing score]].
** This is later mirrored by an equally funny scene when Mulder enters the diner, smiles at the folks... and everybody is positively hostile towards him. The same great music keeps playing.

** Pretty much that whole episode is absolutely hilarious, while also being a Tear Jerker and Nightmare Fuel. Quite an achievement, really.

** The "I'm a Republican" line ALWAYS makes me die of laughter.

** Humbug gets extra points for being the first real comedy episode of the show, and still possibly the funniest of the whole run. This troper's crowing moment was when one of the circus-folk characters looks disgustedly at Mulder, who is unconciously striking a catalogue pose in the background, and asks Scully, 'can you imagine going through your whole life looking like that?'

** The bubble bath scene makes this troper collapse in hysterical fits every time.

** Pretty much that whole episode is absolutely hilarious, while also being a TearJerker and NightmareFuel. Quite an achievement, really.

** And Lord Kimbote.
** Detective Manners, full stop.

** And Mulder's "girly scream", with a deadpan face.
** "The proper authorities showed up with a couple of men in black. One of them was disguised as a woman, but wasn't pulling it off. Like, her hair was red... but it was a little ''too'' red, you know. And the other one, the tall lanky one, his face was so blank and expressionless."

*** It gets better; when called on this by Scully, Mulder sheepishly retorts that the sheriff "had a slight overbite." When we meet the sheriff again he does, in fact, have a slight overbite. Scully's memory wasn't entirely accurate either, it seems...

** After being pestered all afternoon to admit to Skinner that he was drugged, and refusing adamantly to do so, the very first thing Mulder does upon seeing Skinner leave his office is jump up and blurt out "I was drugged!"

* One scene in "Schizogeny" is very funny on two levels. It involves Mulder and Bobby the troubled teenager.
-->'''Mulder:''' ''(looking at Bobby’s poster)'' "Ich bin ein Auslander." "I am an outsider." You know, when Kennedy told the Germans "Ich bin ein Berliner" he was actually saying "I am a cocktail sausage".\\

** Mulder does NOT respond to that, only a confused "Am I getting old?" expression passes his face. So either some American kids are really this uneducated, or more likely, our dear DeadpanSnarker just got trolled.
* From "Tithonus": Scully is assigned to work on a case with another agent in New York. Naturally, Mulder is bored and a bit envious. He spies on their investigation and at one point, he calls Scully on her cell, disguising his voice as some nerdy type, as if he was calling to arrange a school re-union: "Hi. My name is Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to each other at the FBI." Cute and funny.

** The scene after the teaser. Mulder is driving and Scully has just finished reading a letter from Mrs. Berkowitz, which suggests that Mulder has become a go-to guy for people who have encountered the paranormal.

** Mulder goes into the diner and everyone stares and smiles at him. He finds it a little strange, but seems to enjoy the attention. Absolutely hilarious scene, accompanied by the [[AwesomeMusic amazing score]].
** The scene is later mirrored by an equally funny scene when Mulder enters the diner, smiles at the folks... and everybody is positively hostile towards him. The same great music keeps playing.

* "Post-moderm Prometheus" is a gem of an episode:

** Funny in itself. In addition, Mulder does NOT respond to that, only a confused "Am I getting old?" expression passes his face. So either some American kids are really this uneducated, or our dear DeadpanSnarker just got trolled.
* From "Tithonus": Scully is assigned to work on a case with another agent in New York. Naturally, Mulder is bored and a bit envious. He spies on their investigation and at one point he calls Scully on her cell, disguising his voice -- definitely as some nerdy type, calling to arrange a school re-union: "Hi. My name is Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to each other at the FBI."

** The phone conversations between Mulder and Scully ALWAYS get me. But the Queegog one is BY FAR the best.

* Most of "Quagmire" is a funny episode. Though the Queegog in the car moment and the scenes with the locals stand out especially.

** The scene after the teaser. Mulder is driving and Scully has just finished reading a letter from Mrs. Berkowitz:

* A lot of entertaining stuff is going on in "Chinga" (i.e. the phone calls between Mulder and Scully) but the final scene in the office is really one crowning moment of funny. Mulder is obviously bored without Scully and plays with his pencils, carefully sharpening them, making a nice row of then and also throwing and sticking them into the ceiling. He is very charming in his attempts to hide it from Scully who by the way pretends that she is rested and spent her weekend off with some guy Jack. When the pencils start falling down and hitting Mulder, it gets hysterical. The truth is that they both need the mystery of the X-files and each other.