History Funny / TheNostalgiaCritic2014Episodes

[[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic Main]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2007Episodes 2007]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2008Episodes 2008]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2009Episodes 2009]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2013Episodes 2013]] | '''2014''' | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2021Episodes 2021]]

* The text on the bottom at the beginning says that Critic sings the song with [[AccidentalMisnaming Adele]] [[Creator/JohnTravolta Dazeem]].

** Just to give you an idea of how bad it was, it contained one drop of eggnog (to show how little charm the movie has), a package of vegan hot dogs (to show how there's no "meat" to this movie), a chicken drumstick (to highlight the overabundance of slapstick the film has), expired starfruit (most overdue sequels have stars past their prime, Daniel Stern for example), and a bunch of water (to demonstrate how watered down the sequel is compared to the original). Blend, then pour into a festive-looking glass (to deceive you into what you're about to subject yourself to). Finally, garnish with a lit cigarette, and enjoy!

-->'''Narrator:''' Randy was a fledgeling Buck Rogers fanatic who had his own way of braving life's little conflicts in this world or any other.\\

* After the Devil resurrects one of his minions (Blackout) and gives him the power to decay everything he touches, Critic and [=MikeJ=] wonders about [[FridgeLogic how Blackout is going to live now that he can't touch anything or anybody]]... Ending with a sketch of the minion accidentally killing a date and [[GroinAttack decaying his own penis]] [[ADateWithRosiePalms as he tries to go "solo"]].
** The joke is repeated after the infamous "Ghost Rider pissing fire" scene when both the Critic and [=MikeJ=] ask what it's like to have sex or masturbate when on fire. We cut to Doug as Johnny Blaze right after he has sex with Tamara's character, leaving her... area smoking. Blaze tries to explain that it rarely happens, but when it does it's a big WHOOSH! and that's it. He tells her to call 911 while he [[ADateWithRosiePalms finishes "scraping at the door"]] as he ends up [[GroinAttack accidentally burning his penis]], complete with the same expression of pain and horror.

"{{Film/Paddington}} told me we should meet face to fist!" *PUNCH*\\

* When Johnny pulls a [[DreamworksFace Dreamworks eyebrow raise]] after telling Roxanne about his DealWithTheDevil: "Most women would kick you in the rocks for saying something so stupid, but you throw in an eyebrow like that and you go from Ghost Rider to [[WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}} Flynn Rider]]."

* The OverlyLongGag involving the terrible animation during the battle between the icons and the Brand X army, as the Critic observes that the director must have asked the big animations studios of Creator/Pixar, Creator/DreamWorks, and Creator/BlueSkyStudios to help them, and each studio sent its own response.

* After the Critic gets tired of what he calls "Diet Disney", Malcolm and Tamara recommend Diet [[Creator/DreamWorksAnimation DreamWorks]] (consisting of ''WesternAnimation/TheNutJob'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Hoodwinked}}'' and the ''WesternAnimation/{{Rio}}'' and ''WesternAnimation/IceAge'' sequels) and Diet Creator/{{Pixar}} (all the studio's sequels excluding the ''Franchise/ToyStory'' franchise) and [[Creator/DrSeuss Seuss]] Zero, a foreshadowing of [[WesternAnimation/TheLorax2012 his next review]].

* "So as the sun goes down and the trucks continue to circle the place, there's only one logical thing to do: [[CoitusEnsues Pork.]]" And two people have sex during the gas station takeover.

--->'''Nicolas Cage:''' ♪''I'm Nicolas Cage, and I was in Film/LordOfWar. [[Film/TheWickerMan2006 "Not the bees", another movie I was in]]--''♪ I think it was called Film/GhostRider and [[Film/{{Adaptation}} I played my brother or something or other. I was really fat in that]], but I think I got it through. The vision, y'know... I'm Nicolas Cage.

-->'''Man on loudspeaker:''' We ''will'' make you do ''Film/GhostRider 3''!\\

'''Critic Stan Lee:''' ''[[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy "I am Groot!"]]''

* The Critic's excitement over [[CallBack the]] [[MemeticMutation mother-fuckin']] [[KingOfTheDinosaurs T-Rex]] returning... only for it to quickly end when [[AntiClimax it's anti-climatically]] [[DroppedABridgeOnHim killed]] by a Spinosaurus.

-->'''Critic (as Narrator):''' [[Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheFellowshipOfTheRing And so three rings were given to the elves]], who were cookie makers led by [[Creator/WillFerrell Will]] [[Film/{{Elf}} Ferrell]] ''[pictures of the Keebler Elves tree, and Buddy from ''Elf'', are shown]'', seven to the dwarves, [[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs who were miners best known for their harmonizing]], and the rest were given to [the Nine Humans in the actual story]... I don't know, there's no easy answer. But there's [[Creator/IanMcKellen a wizard]] who works at [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]] and [[Creator/ElijahWood a little person]] who lives with [[Series/GameOfThrones the Lannisters]] ''[picture of Frodo sitting down with Joffrey and other Lannister family members]''. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat lunch.\\
-->''[We hear him apparently eating a cracker or two]''\\

* After the Critic gets tired of what he calls "Diet Disney", Malcolm and Tamara recommend Diet [[Creator/DreamWorksAnimation DreamWorks]] (consisting of ''WesternAnimation/TheNutJob'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Hoodwinked}}'' and the ''WesternAnimation/{{Rio}}'' and ''WesternAnimation/IceAge'' sequels) and Diet Creator/{{Pixar}} (all the studio's sequels excluding the ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'' franchise) and [[Creator/DrSeuss Seuss]] Zero, a foreshadowing of [[WesternAnimation/TheLorax his next review]].

** At one point, he grows gigantic and does a direct reference to the end of [[WesternAnimation/TheLorax the Once-ler's]] VillainSong.

* The Critic's immediate reaction to Sunshine Goodness is to back away in fright, drum his hands rapidly on the table, and exclaim "[[UncannyValley THE FUCK IS THAT?!]]" He then goes on to describe her as "a [[CatGirl cat mascot]] for raisins clearly created by a designer who clearly has to ask himself more questions about his sexuality."

* The film has multiple trips into the UncannyValley, but Critic's reaction to Mr. Clipboard is priceless.

--->'''Critic:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]] [[UncannyValley WHAT?!?!]] [[NightmareFuel WHAT?!?!]] [[MadnessMantra WHAT?!?!]] [[SanitySlippage WHAT?!?!]] [[OverlyLongGag WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAAAAAAAT?!?!]]'''''

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta0DlcxyY5M This commercial]] for the Australian release of the NES, [[UncannyValley with the CGI baddies]] is traumatizing enough for the Critic to pause it, stare at the screen with a look of shock and terror, and then slowly walk to the bathroom where he [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams in a]] ''[[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl very]]'' [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl high pitch]] while [[BringMyBrownPants voiding his bowels]] -- not once, but TWICE.

* When going over ''WesternAnimation/MightyDucksTheAnimatedSeries'' and calling villains Dragaunus (played by Creator/TimCurry) and Wraith (played by Creator/TonyJay) the best part of the show, he has the two have a contest to see [[ArousedByTheirVoice whose voice can make women orgasm the fastest]]. The contest is ruined with an utterance of "[[TotallyRadical Ducks]] [[WereStillRelevantDammit Rock]]".

** It comes back later, only Malcolm and Tamara are dressed as Franchise/SamAndMax, and it [[UpToEleven gets even more nonsensical]] due to Tamara having to shift between Dorothy's voice, Max's voice, and the voice of a 1920s paperboy shouting headlines, depending on who she's talking to.

* Analyst 1 and Analyst 2 clinking their champagne glasses after every sentence. UpToEleven when they're panicked and ''still'' clink them.

* The Critic's reaction to the BastardBoyfriend of Cosby's daughter telling him to "put the bitch on", ''over the phone''

* He refers to the "[[MissingMom dead mother syndrome]]" as "[[NotImportantToThisEpisodeCamp Get-the-bitch-out-of-the-film-isis]]".

--> '''Critic:''' *COUGH!* soobviouslysleepingbeautyican'tbelieveyou'rerippingoffsleepingbeautyhaveyounoshame? ({{beat}}) *COUGH*

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tumblr_nbmd2dksza1ql4z3ro1_500.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:That's all folks from Nicolas Cage]]

* The "Perverted Ralphie Moments" meter, especially during the scene where he bashes the cymbals a ''little'' too enthusiastically behind the girl.

* After the revelation that the villain's name is Blackheart, the Critic is convinced that the movie originally was a Saturday morning cartoon like ''WesternAnimation/{{Care Bears|1980s}}'' or ''MyLittlePony''. Later on, he demonstrates this with an animation of [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Fluttershy]]...and Ghost Rider Pony.

* Right before the commercial break, the Critic decides to eat some Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles fruit snacks. Tamara reacts in disgust before being told that they're [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2012 current snacks]]. So she decides to take out a Franchise/MyLittlePony toy, with Malcolm asking if she got it from her attic, but only to be told that it's [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic a current toy]]. So Malcolm take out an [[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime]] toy, with them asking if he got that out of his attic, only to tell them it's [[WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime also current]]. Cue the dreaded realization that [[FleetingDemographicRule nothing has changed]].

** And later, Malcolm just has to say [[WesternAnimation/DuckTales the name of the show]] [[EarWorm whose theme song has been haunting the Critic's mind for the past 25 years]]. One GilliganCut later, his condition is so bad, it makes Tamara consider calling an ambulance.

* After he mentions how aside from ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales'', "surely there must be another Disney title that made a thumb-bleedingly good Capcom game". Cue ''WesternAnimation/ChipAndDaleRescueRangers'' and [[Film/ArmyOfDarkness Ash]] screaming '''''"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH BABY!"'''''

* Critic lists all the memorable secondary characters of ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales'', but cannot name any of them beyond than their description and role.

** Even funnier if you recall when they ''did'' go to the Town of Citiesville in "[[Recap/ThePowerpuffGirlsS3E2TownAndOutChildFearing Town and Out]]" where RealityEnsues.

* "Now ah may be an old fashioned lawyer child, but I do say if the cake tastes like shit, you must acquit! [[DidntWeUseThisJokeAlready Oh, we referenced that already?]] Oh okay, how about this one? Um, [[Film/TheMask Smokin']]!"

''[stills showing t\\hat the Jury and Prosecutor look incredibly disturbed by this last revelation]''\\

* The Critic's excitement over [[CallBack the]] [[MemeticMutation mother-fuckin']] [[TyrannosaurusRex T-Rex]] returning... only for it to quickly end when [[AntiClimax it's anti-climatically]] [[DroppedABridgeOnHim killed]] by a Spinosaurus.

-->'''Critic:''' Oh yeah, now ''this'' is current and hip! Huey, Dewey and Louie! Oh, I mean, '''''[[CallBack EX]][[{{Film/Airborne}} TREME]] HUEY DEWEY AND LOUIE! QUAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!'''''

* And then his reaction to [[{{Gonk}} the woman pushing the shopping cart]], which convinces him that he is being punished for his sins and he proceeds to confess [[EvenNerdsHaveStandards all the things nerd culture considers a sin]]: the cancellation of ''{{Series/Firefly}}'', the transformation of WebVideo/{{Fred}} into an online series, Taco Bell's creation of a breakfast menu, Creator/{{John Travolta}}'s mispronunciation of Creator/IdinaMenzel as "[[MemeticMutation Adele Dazeem]]", and [[NetworkDecay removal of the cartoons]] on Creator/CartoonNetwork.

* Critic noting that Derek's TrainingMontage's animation took up five whole episodes of ''{{WesternAnimation/Animaniacs}}'', meaning we'll never get to see the episode where WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain [[HoYay kiss]].
* After the Critic gets tired of what he calls "Diet Disney", Malcolm and Tamara recommend Diet [[Creator/DreamWorksAnimation DreamWorks]] (consisting of ''WesternAnimation/TheNutJob'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Hoodwinked}}'' and the ''WesternAnimation/{{Rio}}'' and ''WesternAnimation/IceAge'' sequels) and Diet {{Creator/Pixar}} (all the studio's sequels excluding the ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory'' franchise) and [[Creator/DrSeuss Seuss]] Zero, a foreshadowing of [[WesternAnimation/TheLorax his next review]].

-->'''Critic:''' "These bowls. They must be made bigger so people can dip their heads in them while eating. ''Like a swan!'' These floors. They must be prepared for people to shit all over them whenever they please. ''Like a swan!'' These clothes. We must find something more fitting, like-''*cuts to a picture of the Swan Dress of Björk*'' [[TakeThat No, that's just stupid]]."

----> '''Critic:''' [[TemptingFate You can't just like someone because he's really nerdy, into retro media, wears a bunch of half-professional and half-grungy clothes]]-- ''([[IResembleThatRemark looks down at what he's wearing]])''\\
'''Hyper Fan Girl:''' ''(stares deeply)'' What are you doing this evening?\\

''(long pause)''\\

'''Analyst:''' (''running off'') Oh wait, I have charts! I have chaaaaarts!

* Critic sees the "O'Hare Air" cans and accuses the movie of stealing the "Perri-Air" gag from ''{{Film/Spaceballs}}''.

'''Critic:''' ''(with a confused look)'' No.\\
'''Hyper Fangirl''': Oh... Well... [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Neither have I]]. ''({{beat}})'' Quiet, [[{{Foreshadowing}} Grandma!]]

* The Critic and Hyper Fangirl contrasting how Maguire and Garfield captured each only one side of Peter Parker's persona (the dweeby geek and the cocky wisecracker, respectively), ending up both without arguments and, after a [[{{Beat}} beat]], concluding that neither of them captured Spider-Man completely.

-->'''Cameo Critic:''' ''(shrugs)'' It's a living.

-->'''Critic:''' ''(taking off his coat, hat and tie)'' WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? No, seriously, WHAT THE ''FUCK'' ARE YOU DOING?!?!? I don't get it! I really don't! None of this adds up in the least! It's like you're trying to piss off the people who loved the first film so much! Why? No, really, why are you trying to piss us off? Wha-- are you trying to atone for something? Are you trying to tie it back to a mistake you made in the past?

'''Tamara:''' (''with glazed look on her face'') Sure.\\

(''she proceeds to foam at the mouth and pass out, while Malcolm looks at the bottle and reads the label that says "Made with 90% Morphine"'')\\

(''cut to Critic standing in the foreground while Malcolm tries to wake up Tamara'')\\
'''Critic:''' Fuckital, because it doesn't matter if one of the Blues Brothers is a little kid. (''beat'') Or John Goodman. Or plotless. Or has a car that can do anything. (''takes off his purple collared shirt revealing his usual garb underneath'') Because you know, who cares? Who cares at all that it's a timeless classic, the original? Yeah, who cares that we just want to fuck it up? I mean, we just want to totally destroy it because y'know, it's just ''The Blues Brothers''. It doesn't matter that it's a Chicago icon! It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter at all!\\

-->'''Critic:''' So Aykroyd and Goodman set out to pick up the rest of their band members when [[NoJustNoReaction nope, NOPE, nope, nope, nope, nope, you killed the movie. You killed the movie! Whatever little speck of chance you had to make this entertaining, it was]] ''[[NoJustNoReaction assassinated]]'' [[NoJustNoReaction the minute you put that kid in a suit!]] This is like giving ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} a puppy, or [[Film/PulpFiction Jules Winfield]] a Martian (''picture of Jules Winfield with the GreatGazoo from WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones added to the barrel of his pistol''), or the Terminator-- (''clip from Film/Terminator3RiseOfTheMachines of him putting on star-shaped glasses'') Oh yeah, that happened.

-->'''Mighty Mac:''' ''(as they drive away from the explosion)'' Did you hear something?\\

''(Above the Critic, two cue signs, one reading "Laughter" and the other reading "Applause", with the "Laughter" sign lighting up)''\\
'''Critic:''' ''(not amused, looking up at "laughter" sign)'' Funny, neither do I.

'''Critic (as God):''' Whoops! No, no, I was actually aiming for the person in the front row. ''(the light moves away from Jake and on a man in the front pews)'' Yes, that person. I demand you to put Creator/NicolasCage in a ''Film/LeftBehind'' movie! There, my will and totally confusing ways are done. ''(to the Blues Brothers)'' You two? Ha! You just get a shitty sequel. Goodbye! ''(the light disappears)''

-->'''Singer''': Imma motherfucking- *NeckSnap* Oh shit! *T-Rex falls over dead*.

--->'''Critic:''' ''(long beat)'' ... Wow, [[BlackComedy I was in a dark place when I wrote that]].

** Becomes {{Harsher in Hindsight}} when in September 2016, Doug announced his mother actually did pass away in her sleep.
* The dialogue that NC provides at the end for the pterodactyls, which is a ShoutOut to WesternAnimation/AnAmericanTail.

* At some point, Kitai is intimidated by another soldier into revealing himself to a captured Ursa (the alien pets that can only smell people who are feeling fear) by... describing fear to Kitai. Cue the Critic finishing his speech with an impromptu karaoke of ''{{Music/Thriller}}.''

'''Critic:''' ''(faces offscreen)'' {{Nepotism}}.\\

'''Jerry:''' Like the [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Batman]] villain?\\

-->'''Spoony''': "This movie [[BigStupidDooDooHead is stupid]]!" (''{{Beat}}'') I panicked, okay?

-->'''Snob:''' ''(with blood on his hands)'' Guys, guys! Holy shit, you won't believe it. I just killed a vampire!\\

'''Spoony:''' ''(with a haughty voice)'' Go away, Cinema Snob. I can't even stand to look at you.\\

'''Spoony:''' ''(still in a haughty voice)'' You do that.\\

'''Snob:''' ''(clearly irritated)'' Ungh, I didn't ask what their martial arts background was!\\

'''Spoony:''' ''(again in a haughty voice)'' Away with you Snob, you become more dated with every passing view.\\
''(they all turn away and refuse to look at him)''\\

''(Linkara pushes him offscreen)''

---->'''Snob:''' ''(drenched in blood)'' It's getting worse... I just bit the neck of a prostitute and no one seems to notice.\\

* The opening is a parody of the opening of ''[[Film/{{Halloween1978}} Halloween]]'', with the killer revealed to be WebVideo/JonTron, taking revenge on the Critic for reviewing ''WesternAnimation/FoodFight''.

* [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} Gozer's]] drunk sister as the green fog in the sky.

* "FUCK YOU, ICE CREAM!" ([[StuffBlowingUp truck blows up]]) That's for never having the [[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtle]] Bars. I need my gumdrop eyes!

'''Waitress:''' (''jumps up and down with an added "BOING!" sound effect'') WE! MADE! YOU!\\

-->'''Critic:''' ''(hungarian accent)'' "Whoa-ho, sorry. Just a little twitch I got there! We all get nervous twitches like that sometimes." ''(Lightning flashes and the the gang's heads are abruptly replaced by various Creator/TimCurry characters)''[[note]]Malcolm is Pennywise, Rob is Mr. Jigsaw from ''Film/LoadedWeapon1'' as a Girl Scout, NC is the hotel concierge from ''Film/HomeAlone 2'', Jason is Dr. Frank N. Furter, and Jim is Cardinal Richlieu from Film/TheThreeMusketeers1993''.[[/note]]

* Critic getting [[{{Squick}} squicked]] [[NoJustNoReaction out]] by {{Toys/Lalaloopsy}}'s "Diaper Surprise".

* In every single Sunny Delight Orange Juice commercial, without fail, the same thing happens: the kids open the fridge and always push aside the exact same three items in the ''exact'' same order to get to the Sunny D jug: soda, then OJ[[note]]regular orange juice[[/note]], then purple stuff. This leads Critic to decide it must be some sort of code to the [[Film/{{Stargate}} Stargate]].

* "'''''[[VideoGame/MortalKombat GET OVER HERE!]]'''''"

-->'''Writer:''' "And then, [[DesignatedGirlFight the hot furry chick kicks the ass out of the hot dominatrix]], [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar all while the men make wicked funny jokes about her melons!]]" ''[snorts a giggle]'' That's so funny! "And then, she gets turned into an ugly woman, [[BeautyEqualsGoodness proving once and for all that if you're an ugly woman, no good can come out of you!]]"\\