History Funny / TheDarkKnight

--> ''(Gambol's crony stands up and advances on him. In one swift motion the Joker slams the man's head onto the pencil, forcing the entire pencil through his eye socket; the crony collapses to the floor, dead, taking the pencil with him)''

* After Dent's bust:
-->'''Judge Surrilo''': ...712 counts of extortion, 849 counts racketeering, 246 counts of fraud, 87 counts conspiracy of murder, ''[flips over a Joker playing card in the paperwork]'', 527 counts of obstruction of justice... ''[looks up at courtroom crammed with giant mob of indictees]'' ...how do the defendants plead?\\
'''Army of defense lawyers''': NOT GUILTY!
** The hopelessly confused look the stenographer gives sells the scene. Cuing a scene of the mayor chewing Harvey Dent out for his risky move:

-->'''Mayor Anthony Garcia:''' Well even if you're able to blow enough smoke to get convictions out of Surillo, you're going to set a new record at appeals for quickest kick in the ass!

--> '''The Joker:''' ''(fake laughter done in deadpan voice}'' Ah ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee ha, ahaha. ''(returns to normal voice)'' And I thought ''my'' jokes were bad!

-->'''Bruce''': More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.
-->'''Alfred''': Why don't you hire them, take the weekend off?
-->'''Bruce''': That wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to inspire people.
* Alfred commenting that Bruce's minigun isn't loud enough when he's firing it to get a ballistic test.

-->'''Rachel''': The fact they're trying to kill you means we're getting to them.
-->'''Harvey''': I'm glad you're so pleased Rachel. I'm fine, by the way.
-->'''Rachel''': Come on, Harvey. You're the Gotham's DA. You're not getting shot at, you're not doing your job right.

-->'''The Joker:''' ''[fake laughter done in deadpan voice]'' Ah ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee ha, ahaha. ''[returns to normal voice]'' And I thought ''my'' jokes were bad!
-->'''Gambol:''' Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
-->'''The Joker:''' How 'bout a magic trick? ''[sticks a pencil into the table, point first]'' I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
-->''[Gambol's crony stands up and advances on him. In one swift motion the Joker slams the man's head onto the pencil, forcing the entire pencil through his eye socket; the crony collapses to the floor, dead, taking the pencil with him]''
-->'''The Joker:''' TA-DA! It's, ah, it's ''gone''. Oh, and by the way, the suit? It wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it!

--> '''The Joker''': Ah-ta-ta-ta! Let's not "[[IncrediblyLamePun blow]]"... ''[opens his jacket, revealing five grenades, all with pins attached to a string around his thumb]'' ...this all out of proportion.\\
'''Gambol''': You think you can steal from us and just walk away?!\\
'''The Joker''' ''(Matter-of-factly)'': [[BluntYes Yeah.]]\\
'''Gambol:''' I'm putting the word out: $500 grand for this clown dead, a million alive, so I can teach him some manners first!\\
'''The Joker''': So listen, why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Here's my card.\\
-->''[leaves a Joker playing card on the table, and backs out of the room, toying threateningly with the grenade pin]''

--> ...and as for the television's so-called "plan"? Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him, and make him ''squeal''! I know the squealers when I see them, and...
-->''[He points at Lau. Lau covers the camera with his hand to signal his departure.]''

-->'''Lt. James Gordon:''' Harvey Dent never made it home.

-->''(camera pans to a sleeping and snoring Bruce on his chair.)''

** This is actually FridgeBrilliance on the Joker's part - this way he ensures that the man who wins and joins him is inevitably the more sadistic and desperate one - and therefore more likely to follow his insane orders.

* What the Joker says when he crashes the mobsters' meeting. It says something about the quality of the movie's writing when such a sadistically violent joke can ''honestly'' be hilarious.
-->'''The Joker:''' ''[fake laughter done in deadpan voice]'' Ah ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee ha, ahaha. ''[returns to normal voice]'' And I thought ''my'' jokes were bad!
-->'''Gambol:''' Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
-->'''The Joker:''' How 'bout a magic trick? ''[sticks a pencil into the table, point first]'' I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
-->''[Gambol's crony stands up and advances on him. In one swift motion the Joker slams the man's head onto the pencil, forcing the entire pencil through his eye socket; the crony collapses to the floor, dead, taking the pencil with him]''
-->'''The Joker:''' TA-DA! It's, ah, it's ''gone''. Oh, and by the way, the suit? It wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it!
** The way the scene is written out in the screenplay is amusing on its own:
-->''The PENCIL is gone. MAGIC.''

-->'''Gordon''': You don't watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?

* When Batman is preparing to go to Hong Kong to capture Lau, Alfred comes up with a good alibi for Bruce: absconding with ''the entire Russian ballet.''
** The ballet that Harvey was taking Rachel to see, no less. When Bruce cockblocks, he goes all the way.

** Alfred wants to know the Russian for "apply your own bloody suntan lotion."

* When the Joker ambushes the convoy, he blocks the road with a fire engine... that is on fire. Y'know, a pun.

-->'''Happy:''' They wired this [vault door] thing up, with like, 5,000 vaults. What kind of bank does that?

-->'''Happy:''' Boss told me when the guy was done, I should take him out. ''[spins the rotating handle]'' One less share, huh? ''[The vault opens]''

'''Bus Driver:''' ''[jumps out the emergency exit door]'' School's out! Time to go. Cat's not gettin' up, is he? ''[He and Bozo toss the money bags into the back of the bus]'' That's a lot of money.\\

** Oh, and another gem, when Grumpy and Bozo are placing the money bags by the door:

* The Joker walks in "How about a magic trick? ... [[EyeScream I'm gonna make this pencil disappear]]." It says something about the quality of the movie's writing when such a sadistically violent joke can ''honestly'' be hilarious.

-->'''Bruce''': There were more copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.

-->'''Judge Surrilo''': ...712 counts of extortion, 849 counts racketeering, 246 counts fraud, 87 counts conspiracy murder, 527 counts obstruction of justice... ''[looks up at courtroom crammed with giant mob of indictees]'' ...how do the defendants plead?\\

** The hopelessly confused look the stenographer gives sells the scene.

--> '''Shotgun SWAT''': (''Seeing what the Joker pulling out'') [[OhCrap Is..Is that a bazooka?!]]
** Most of reactions the SWAT officer riding shotgun has to what's happening. It's like if you put a [[OnlySaneMan real person]] into the kind of crap that happens in Gotham on a routine basis. The driver is completely silent even when the Joker is raking the truck with a machine pistol and making evasive moves to avoid the Tumbler. FridgeBrilliance: we then find that [[spoiler:Gordon is the driver]].

* "So, which of you ''fine'' gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh. There's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have... ''[breaks pool cue in two]'' tryouts."

** "What bus dri-''(school bus rams through the doors and runs over him)''

* And in the middle...
-->'''The Joker''': And the suit? It wasn't cheap. You should know, you bought it.

* The Joker's failed attempt at an UnflinchingWalk [[spoiler:after blowing up the hospital. But the Joker dressed as a nurse, and ''skipping'' is already funny enough. It's even funnier when one of the bombs [[WheresTheKaboom fails to go off, and he stands there hitting the button until it blows up]].]] (the director said the entire scene was [[ThrowItIn Heath Ledger reacting to special effects failing to start]])
** That's only half true. The charges didn't malfunction - on one of the DVD's special features it's explained that they were designed to start exploding, pause, and then the "real" explosions would go off, in order for Heath Ledger to leave the hospital as it's exploding. What they didn't do was tell Ledger that there would be a pause.

** And right before setting off some bombs, the Joker takes the time to stop and ''apply disinfectant spray'' from one of those wall-mounted hand pumps ''ever-so-calmly''! Even Evil Has [Proper Hygiene] Standards.

-->'''Joker''': [[spoiler:[[TemptingFate He missed!]]]]\\

* Joker driving the truck, and just going "I like this job...I LIKE it!"
* For one of the blink-and-you'll-miss-it variety, the Police Department's "Batman suspects" bulletin board at the start of the film. Including Elvis, ''[[WildMassGuessing Bigfoot]]'' and ''[[HistoricalInJoke Abraham Lincoln]]''. Naturally, [[GilliganCut this appears right after the mayor proclaims how seriously they're taking the hunt for Batman]].
* The truck's motto: [[spoiler:'''S''' LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE]]
* When the Joker ambushes the convoy, he blocks the road with a fire engine... on fire. Y'know, a pun.

* The Joker dangles Rachel out the window in front of Batman: "[[UnhandThemVillain Let her go!]]" "''Very'' poor choice of words!"

* Bruce just randomly walking to his ex-girlfriend's current beau and putting him in a sleeper hold. He has a reason, but still.

* When [[spoiler:Gordon]] captures the Joker, when he's about to unmask Batman:

* I was left doubled over laughing at the beginning, when the banker starts shooting at the Joker and his cronies.
-->'''Grumpy''': He's out (of ammo), right?\\
'''Joker''': ''(pauses, then nods assuredly)''\\
''Grumpy jumps out, and the banker shoots at him, ''then'' runs out of ammo.''\\

''The Joker leaps out of hiding and shoots him.''\\

* Joker randomly grabbing the prawn sticks and champagne glass, spilling 75% of the champagne before half-assedly knocking it back, at the party.

* The bus driver, upon showing up at the bank, asks, "Where's the rest of the guys?" [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness Joker kills the bus driver.]]

-->'''Two-Face:''' ''[buckles his seatbelt]'' Your driver. ''(shoots the driver in the back of the head, sending the car flying off the road)''

* "So, which of you ''fine'' gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh. There's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have... ''[breaks the stick in two]'' tryouts."

** The confused look the stenographer gives sells the scene.

*** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Vegetables]]
* During the Hospital scene, there is a moment where Joker can't remember Rachel's name. Dent SCREAMS it at him, and Mr. J jumps in his chair and looks as though Harvey's ''completely'' overreacting to this whole murdered-his-fiancée thing.

-->'''The Joker:''' Me? I was right here. ''[holds up his arms in handcuffs]'' Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming, of course, they are still your people, and not Maroni's. Does it depress you, commissioner? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?

* The Joker clapping after Gordon is promoted to commissioner. That was an ad-lib too which makes it even funnier.
* The start of the movie during the deal with the Scarecrow and the Mafia. The Mafia guys bring dogs to detect Batman and they spot one of the impostors dressing as him. That is, until he pulls out a gun.

** Most of reactions the SWAT officer riding shotgun has to what's happening. It's like if you put a [[OnlySaneMan real person]] into the kind of crap that happens in Gotham on a routine basis. The driver is completely silent even when the Joker is raking the truck with a machine pistol and making evasive moves to avoid the Tumbler. That's because [[spoiler:Gordon is the driver]].

* Joker burning Lau during that same scene:

-->''[Joker points at Lau. Lau covers the camera with his hand.]''

* The Joker's failed attempt at an UnflinchingWalk [[spoiler:after blowing up the hospital. But the Joker dressed as a nurse, and ''skipping'' is already funny enough. It's even funnier when one of the bombs is delayed in exploding, and he stands there hitting the button until it blows up.]] (the director said the entire scene was [[ThrowItIn Heath Ledger reacting to special effects failing to start]])

* What got [[@/{{Numbuh9494}} this troper]] laughing the hardest was when the Joker pushed the killed truck driver out of the driver's seat. "Oh, excuse me! I want to drive!"

* After the Joker [[spoiler: leaves Harvey's hospital room and right before he blows up the hospital]], he also takes the time to stop and ''apply disinfectant spray'' from one of those wall-mounted hand pumps ''ever-so-calmly''! Meaning he's got good hygiene.

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