History Funny / TheDarkID

* The RunningGag of large objects being dropped on Bart's head at the end of each act, such as the Yggdrasil, the Goliath, [[TheBigGuy the Rico Banderas]], etc.

'''Edward:''' [[AlchoholHic <hic>]] Yousa takin’ yer sweet time...\\

'''Urick:''' (''beat'') ...I was just going to take us to that joint with the great gyros I was telling you about. You... are seriously gonna keep up with this district destruction thing...? Really, kiddo...? REALLY?!\\

'''Nowe:''' WHAT?!\\

'''Eris:''' [[BaitAndSwitch Hoped you'd eventually grow out of being such an impulsive fool...]] Heh... guess that was a silly thing to wish... The final key is on the top floor... It's an hourglass called the Holy Sands... Go, Nowe. I won't stop you now. Not that I am... in any condition to...do so... But do not... blame me if... things go po...orly once you break it... This... is still a... r-really... retarded idea...

* When the world becomes Fucked again, Manah freaks out so much she starts mumbling about [[VideoGame/ClockTower3 "Entities" and "Rooders."]]

-->'''Seere:''' Nice job you two... Manah, you are getting really good at this breaking the world business. Last time you need an entire army of soldiers. This time around you managed to do it with just one dumbass and a dragon. Bravo!\\

* When Nowe's SuperMode activates when Manah kisses him...

...\\

'''Tidus:''' ''[[{{Squick}} Oh, dude! No! Ack. I did no need that mental image]]!''

--> Id: We’ll investigate the well momentarily. First let’s check out the item discarded nearby. That may look like a Green Herb at a glance. But everyone knows Green Herbs are native to the [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil1 Arklay]] [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil0 Mountains]] in the [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil2 Midwestern]] [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil3 United States]]. And [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil4 Notspain]]... And [[VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica death camp islands in South America. And Antarctica]]... Occasionally on [[VideoGame/ResidentEvilGunSurvivor cruise ships]]. [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil6 The Balkans. China]]. [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil7 Louisiana]]... But definitely not Wales.

* The moment gameplay starts, Id notices that Briggs is in a prison cell and Arach (a Gollum-sort of fellow who happens to be hanging from the ceiling,) is bearing down on the captain. In response, Id attempts to invoke his old nemeses...

-->"[[PunctuatedForEmphasis CRANNY. FAGGOT.]] As silly as a name Spooner may be, you have shit, good captain, on a name like Cranny Faggot. Indeed, I'd be hard pressed to find any character with a more absurd name than Cranny Faggot. Hell, I just played [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolidPeaceWalker a game with a man named "Hot Coldman]]" and it might as well be John Smith in comparison.
** The reaction to Benjamin Briggs putting a jaw clamp on the Worrymeister's eyes. Even more so when we find out he did that to get ''a pen and ink''. And then used said pen for the sole purpose of stabbing a tentacle monster in the eye just so he could break off the pen tip and use it to free a guy from shackles!
* During Id's [[ArcFatigue wearingly long investigation in Darkmere]], he finally gets into the stables and meets the actual, [[FlayingAlive flayed alive]] mayor of the town. [[spoiler:Worth it for how he finally (reflexively) invokes an old nemesis]]

-->'''Brian [=McBride=]''': Metal Gear's development was a classified Army project. Even the CIA is not aware of all the details.\\
'''Ronard "Weasel" Lensenbrink'''; In other words, you know jack.\\
'''[=McBride=]''': Yes. Thanks for the clarification for the audience. You know, just rephrasing the obvious in a rude and suspicious manner doesn't make you clever. It makes you an [[spoiler:asshole]] outlaw.\\
'''Weasel''': Identifying [[spoiler:assholes]] outlaws. There's one thing the CIA excels at.\\
'''[=McBride=]''': It doesn't take CIA Intel in your case. It's written all over your face. [[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin']] [[spoiler:pussy]] pineapples?\\
'''Mei Ling''': That's enough you two. Rated E. For 'Everyone'! Enough of the colorful language!

* "JESUS ''CHRIST!!'' NOT AGAIN, CAVIA!!! '''STOP EATING SIDEKICKS!!!"'''

--> "That game came out in April 2010. W-why would put this up so early? Why is there a new arrangement of Hills of Radiant Wind on the site? [[ExplainExplainOhCrap ...Is it happening]]?"
* On March 29, 2020, the news of a remake of Nier Replicant is posted on Id's Twitter.

* Several years after finishing off his let's play of the original Nier, he gets around to doing [[https://twitter.com/TheDarkId/status/1400103612878135301?s=20 Ending E]] in ''[[UpdatedRerelease Nier Replicant]].''

* Since by now The Dark Id is a veteran of these kinds of games, he decides to start his playthrough of ''VideoGame/NierAutomata'' on "Hard." Minutes later, he gets [[NonstandardGameOver the "Broken [W]ings" ending.]]

-->On the one hand, you did [[DynamicEntry Red Hot Kick that buzzsaw with a mech.]] On the other hand, you did get almost instantly owned. I'm gonna call this one a wash on your performance review, 9S...
* "Unfortunately, Engels' naptime was VERY brief and it's up and active again. I'm not sure if it knows [[ColossusClimb we're running around on its back.]] That's got to feel gross if it does."

I did just read that right...?\\

* The game's assortment of ShopFodder includes "rusted coins, torn books, old cloth, UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} [[ObviousBeta early access]] open world zombie games, copies of ''VideoGame/SonicBoom'', [[TakeThat and other rubbish."]]

* A giant enemy is overcome by "the combined efforts of Mikhail's fireball spamming and a vicious kicking in the shins by Zero (and... [[ArtificialStupidity Dito lending moral support by running in circles)."]]

-->''' The Dark Id:''' It's probably going to be a real bummer for whoever the bottom half of a several city block-wide castle lands on down below in the Land of Mountains. Especially with the early afternoon forecasts of raining wyvern guts and viscera already peppering the area.

* "Stay in the shade to recover your strength!"

-->If you're wondering if there was the slightest hint or mention of Brother One earlier: the answer is an even more resounding '''''NO!''''' Even moreso than the disciples turning out to have originally been doves. At least the disciples had a bit of a hint they weren't necessarily human or of some manner of mysterious origin like the Intoners. Brother One is just "by the way, ''fuck you"'' and that's that.

-->Tune in next time for a final boss showdown against a massive neon blue doom-spider summoned from the heavens purely by the power of love. Cuz fuck it! Why not? We just killed off seven characters in the last fifteen minutes! We don't give a ''fuck!''\\

* At the end of Two's DLC, we've learned why she was such a mess during the main game: "She tried to be a nice, pleasant person who loved and cared for children in ''Drakengard'''s universe. And the universe, in turn, was having '''''NONE''''' of that shit.
* Three's DLC is pretty meh, but at the end of it we've at least learned that "not only was Three an insane weirdo, she was a ''really fucking insane'' weirdo. No half-measures if you're going to embrace madness in the realm of ''Drakengard."''
* Route C proves that in ''Drakengard 3'', "all roads lead to someone getting stabbed in the back. Literally and figuratively. [[LiteralMetaphor But mostly literally."]]

-->'''The Dark Id:''' WHAT?!?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT?!

-->'''The Dark Id:''' In a Japanese popularity poll Four came in second place. Creator/YokoTaro saw this, scowled a foul sock puppet glare upon this news and whispered: "That's weird you all like the one that actively takes joy in... '''''ETHNIC CLEANSING."''''' And thus balance was restored to the ''Drakengard'' realm.

* The Dark Id instantly recognizes the penultimate boss as "the Wyrm, [[GagPenis King of the Dragon Cock!"]] And when Decadus is flung by Octa onto Mikhail's back to help fight the boss:

* Octa gets props for making it through the entire game "constantly talking about sex, but never actually saying the word sex, penis, or vagina. Alternate timeline thread title: ''Drakengard 3: Sexual Innuendo Synonym Station."''

-- Actually, I really don't have time for a talk right now.

* Id getting a TotalPartyKill during BossBattle with Janus because he used Lucia's Tarot Card and pulled out [[EpicFail Special Reverse Hermit card that drained *whole* party's Sanity Points to 0, causing them to go Berserk]]. He didn't take this kindly, putting Lucia on bench along with Gepetto after the fight.

* Near the beginning of second Disc and after acquiring the latest party member, Kurando, there is the task at hand in [[BattleshipRaid Battleship Mikasa]] that requires [[LetsSplitUpGang the party to split into two groups]]. Id, with his trademark italics, makes an entire drama out of it. And yes, he still [[NeverLiveItDown didn't forget that incident with Lucia's Tarot cards]].

While Id isn't doing a Let's Play of ''VideoGame/YakuzaLikeADragon'', his reaction to how [[DenserAndWackier batshit insane]] it is compared to the previous entries in the series is hilarious. Thread starts [[https://twitter.com/TheDarkId/status/1333489907273228289 here]]

-->'''Kaede:''' Samanosuke! I ignited the gunpowder!

** Id starts off with one of the pre-made characters, Albert [[labelnote:note]]When it's generally agreed upon that all three of the pre-made characters are terrible, with Albert having a trait which severely restricts how many perks he can get and ''cripplingly'' low agility.[[/labelnote]], and takes his first few steps into the Wasteland, rationalizing that although he's not the best fighter, he can surely survive. Cue GilliganCut of him being shot to death by bandits.

* With the release of ''VideoGame/DetroitBecomeHuman'' and many of the critcisms and controversies involving Quantic Dreams’ David Cage, someone had drawn a much more [[https://twitter.com/MisterLN_/status/999734885395976192?s=20 detailed]] description of one of Id’s Tweets about him.

* His perfect summary of the game's IdiotPlot:

-->'''Angelus:''' It was... what is the best phrase to sum it up...? Hmph... Ah... I have it... What followed was stupid. [[IdiotPlot Profoundly and utterly stupid...]]\\

* Near the beginning of second Disc and after acquiring the latest party member, Kurando, there is the task at hand that requires [[LetsSplitUpGang the party to split in two groups]]. Id, with his trademark italics, makes an entire drama out of it. And yes, he still [[NeverLiveItDown didn't forget that incident with Lucia's Tarot cards]].

* Near the beginning of second Disc and after acquiring latest party member, there is a task at the hand that requires party to split in two groups. Id, with his trademark italics, makes an entire drama out of it. And yes, he still [[NeverLiveItDown didn't forget that incident with Lucia's Tarot cards]].

* Id getting a TotalPartyKill during BossBattle with Janus because he used Lucia's Tarot Card and pulled out [[EpicFail powered-up reverse Hermit card that drained *whole* party's Sanity Points to 0, causing them to go Berserk]]. He didn't take this kindly, putting Lucia on bench along with Gepetto after the fight.

[[folder:Shadow Hearts: Covenant]]
* Id getting a TotalPartyKill during BossBattle with Janus because he used Lucia's Tarot Card and pulled out [[EpicFail powered-up reverse Hermit card that drained *whole* party's Sanity Points to 0, causing them to go Berserk]]. He didn't take this kindly, putting Lucia on bench along with Gepetto after the fight.
-->'''The Dark Id:''' I've had zero characters go Berserk up to this point, Lucia. '''ZERO!''' We're almost eleven hours into the game. Are you SURE, you're not a Sapientes Gladio plant? \\
[[/folder]]

* Anytime the game's characters are [[ArtShift shown in FMV form]], Id refers to them as having been replaced by their Asian Stunt Doubles. Rikku, in particular, is noted for looking [[OffModel completely different]] in [=FMVs=] to the point of being UncannyValley.

-->'''Kaede:''' Samanosuke! [[WhatAnIdiot I ignited the gunpowder!]]

** The climax of the ''Resident Evil'' (1) LP. Tyrant-Billy has Chris and the others on the ropes. Brad drops down a boombox leading to a brief screenshot-music-video thing to the tune of "[[Music/TheRollingStones Paint It, Black]]". Then Brad drops down the rocket launcher after realising his mistake. Of course, it turns out Tyrant-Billy's having trouble adjusting to his new body, and then...

[''picture of [[KnifeNut kitchen knives]]'']\\

* What finally pushes Fei over the edge]] during a chat with the Queen of Shevat near the end of Disc Two.

* What finally pushes Fei [[RantInducingSlight over the edge]] during a chat with the Queen of Shevat near the end of Disc Two.

** The RantInducingSlight caused by meeting ''zombie sharks'':

'''Leon''': [[RantInducingSlight Shut up! Shut up! I hate essays! I cheated on my final exam at the academy! No... I never even went to an academy. I got my certification on some website I Googled. I put down I had 20 years of law enforcement experience I was on a Counter-Terrorist team on my application... That was a fucking]] VideoGame/CounterStrike [[RantInducingSlight clan... How was I to know they'd actually hire me?!]]\\

** Due to the game's LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters, not all of them see much usage (if any). So when the ending rolls around, and each character says their farewells:

** And finally, there's the verbal smackdown delivered to the [[MoralDissonance Dwarf King]].

* The game's assortment of VendorTrash includes "rusted coins, torn books, old cloth, UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} [[ObviousBeta early access]] open world zombie games, copies of ''VideoGame/SonicBoom'', [[TakeThat and other rubbish."]]

-->'''The Dark Id:''' In a Japanese popularity poll Four came in second place. Creator/TaroYoko saw this, scowled a foul sock puppet glare upon this news and whispered: "That's weird you all like the one that actively takes joy in... '''''ETHNIC CLEANSING."''''' And thus balance was restored to the ''Drakengard'' realm.

-->'''Mendez''': Legs are for Bears fans.

** The near entirety of his ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil0'' LP, which gives us gems as Billy "[[VerbalTic FUCKING]]" Coen being an incredible JerkAss (and Jewish), the T-001 Tyrant being a mad drunkard, the leeches as GangBangers and Rebecca paying back Billy's cruelty at the end by shooting him in the head. The crowning moment of hilarity comes when, while reading James Marcus' diary expressing his adoration for his prized leeches, Dark Id comes to a horrifying conclusion. [[VerbalTic Leeches!]]
--->'''The Dark Id''': ALERT: DR. MARCUS IS [[PerverseSexualLust FUCKING LEECHES!]] I REPEAT: DR. JAMES MARCUS IS [[{{Squick}} GOING DOWN ON LEECHES!]]

*** Near the end of the [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil REmake]] LP, Billy ends up possessing the Tyrant. Thrilled at having a body again, he immediately [[AbhorrentAdmirer starts perving on Jill Valentine]]...only to have it pointed out to him that his new body doesn't have any genitalia. HilarityEnsues.

'''Leon''': ''(seeing a hay bale filled with corpses)'' I can't believe this. These are all dead bodies\\

*** When he sees the giant mechanical statue of Ramon Salazar...[[spoiler:which later comes to life and chases him]]...

--->Alright, when you've created a monster who's [sic] base instinct is ''incest'', it's time to go right the fuck back to the drawing board.

* nuclear explosion*

'''Señor X''': Man, [[TooMuchInformation too much information...]]

'''Nosferatu/[[spoiler:Alexander]]''': [[Film/CitizenKane Rosebud...]]

* [[CreepyDoll Dollhouse]] [=RE8=] section* [[AtomicFBomb THE FUCK]]?! THEY CAN!?
* ''Village'' was a rather SurprisinglyImprovedSequel'' for him compared to 7. [[https://twitter.com/TheDarkId/status/1391998597382742023?s=20 Tweet here.]]
-->'''Id:''' Welp. As someone who thought Resident Evil 7 was trash tier Code Veronica and RE0 level of shitty, Resident Evil VIIlage was fucking great! What a stupid fucking fun game.

* His reaction to one of Alyssa's... ''[[LooksLikeSheIsEnjoyingIt odd]]'' facial expressions in the cutscenes before the final battle.

-->In the best case scenario for Owen, Aya Brea dies in the past, [[TemporalParadox which kills her in the present.]] Everyone wakes up and goes what the actual fuck. There is video evidence of Hunter Owen directing Aya to her death because they’ve established they record all of these Overdive sessions...somehow. Forgetting that he helped murder a subordinate, he’s committed an attack on a federal building against several active agents and last I checked that was treason. [[RealityEnsues Hunter Owen goes to prison]].

[[folder:Nier Automata]]