History Funny / Nextwave

-->'''Dirk Anger:''' Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In '''New Jersey'''! For H.A.T.E.!

* The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ☠☠☠☠, which ended when he introduced himself as such to Captain America. (Who then beat seven kinds of it out of The Captain.)

** The sad fate of Father [[KillerRobot Blood Drench Robo Crush]].

** The first splash page of issue eight, featuring the Mindless Ones [[WestSideStory snapping their fingers while dancing down the street]], has been cited by some on the Internet as the greatest page in comic book history. "Dance, critters."

* A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS [[€]] ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"

* Dread Rorkannu shows us how to always keep a poker face while negotiating.
-->'''Yes!''' ''I HAVE A HUNDRED OF THE EARTH DOLLARS!'' [Ahem] Your offer is acceptable.

-->'''Tabby''' (kicking a cop): "I ''hate'' cops! Because, like, cops keep ''arresting'' me and stuff? For ''stealing?'' Like stealing's a ''crime'' or something?"
-->'''Aaron:''' "Hey! What's going on?"
-->'''Tabby:''': "He's a ''cop'', Aaron!"
-->'''Aaron'''(joins in the kicking): "Cops -- the most annoying fleshy ones of '''all'''!"

* [[FluffyTheTerrible "Widdle cuddly bears...of ''death?'' AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS"]]

* The ''title'' to the second trade paperback: '''I Kick Your Face'''

-->'''Dirk Anger:''' "So you're the fresh fish, huh? New H.A.T.E. trainees, wondering if you're going to make the grade as full agents. You know who I am? I'm Dirk Anger, director of H.A.T.E. I've been director of H.A.T.E. for longer than you've been alive. Except maybe you. You look kinda old."
-->'''Recruit:''' "I'm thirty, sir."
-->'''Dirk Anger:''' "Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In '''New Jersey'''! For H.A.T.E.!"

* [[spoiler:A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a gun.]] ThisTroper had it as his {{Facebook}} picture for a while, to the confusion and amusement of all.
** Post this image!!! Post this image NOW!!!
*** [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070926052847/marveldatabase/images/d/da/DevilDinosaur3.jpg As you wish]].

* More meta, but this troper finds the Wikipedia page for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirk_Anger Dirk Anger]] to be ''hilarious'', if only because it tries to summarize the character's traits and participation in the series with [[TheComicallySerious complete seriousness]].

* Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, ice-cream chugging CrowningMomentOfFunny.

** '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''

** [[spoiler:A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a gun.]] ThisTroper had it as his {{Facebook}} picture for a while, to the confusion and amusement of all.
*** Post this image!!! Post this image NOW!!!
**** [[http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070926052847/marveldatabase/images/d/da/DevilDinosaur3.jpg As you wish]].
** "I fire you with bullets now."
** "Monica Rambeau, leader of the Nextwave squad, '''lies all the time.'''"
** A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS [[€]] ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"
** "Oh my god. They ''explode!'' My life has taken on new meaning."
** Dread Rorkannu shows us how to always keep a poker face while negotiating.

** This little exchange:

** "The little guy did something to your heads. [[TheDitz I]] gave him the explodo because [[TooDumbToFool I am clever]]."
** [[FluffyTheTerrible "Widdle cuddly bears...of ''death?'' AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS"]]
** "ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next ''door!'' OH NOES!"
*** Made better when you realize that she didn't say "Zee Oh Em Gee", she said "Zom-guh".
** Dirk Anger. Just...Dirk Anger.
** The ''title'' to the second trade paperback: '''I Kick Your Face'''
*** Pretty much the whole book is MadeOfWin. Go and read it already.

*** Is there a funnier phrase than "Rumpled buttskin"? I think not.

* Two words: [[spoiler: ''Elvis M.O.D.O.K.s'']].

* Two words: [[spoiler: ''Elvis MODOKs'']].

* "Special bear?" "Special bear is ''dead''."

--> Nextwave: Blatantly wasting your money since 2006.

* More meta, but this troper finds the Wikipedia page for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirk_Anger Dirk Anger]] to be ''hilarious'', if only because it tries to summarize the character's traits and participation in the series with [[TheComicallySerious complete seriousness]].

* Fighting the Mindless Ones.

* The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ****, which ended when he introduced himself to Captain America.

** A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a gun. ThisTroper had it as his {{Facebook}} picture for a while, to the confusion and amusement of all.

-->'''Dirk Anger:''' Thirty? You look like a bag of dried buttskin. I'm older'n you. I'm ninety years old. You know how I look so pretty? I take drugs. Special H.A.T.E. drugs. Life-extending drugs. H.A.T.E. has the best drugs. Because H.A.T.E. loves me. And I love H.A.T.E. Every day of my horrible drug-extended terrorist-fighting life. Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat. Raw meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried. In '''New Jersey'''! For H.A.T.E.!

** Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, ice-cream chugging CrowningMomentOfFunny.

* The Captain's origin story. First, his discovery that all the good Captain names were taken; then, his short run of going by Captain ****, which ended when he introduced himself to Captain America.

-->'''Tabby'''(kicking a cop): "I ''hate'' cops! Because, like, cops keep ''arresting'' me and stuff? For ''stealing?'' Like stealing's a ''crime'' or something?"
-->'''Aaron'''(holds Tabby back): "Hey! What's going on?"
-->'''Tabby''': "He's a '''cop''', Aaron!"
-->'''Aaron'''(joins Tabby in kicking the cop again: "Cops--the most annoying fleshy ones of '''all'''."

** "I ''hate'' cops! Because, like, cops keep ''arresting'' me and stuff? For ''stealing?'' Like stealing's a ''crime'' or something?"

** A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS € ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"

** The sad fate of Father [[KillerRobot Blood Drench Robo Crush]].

** "Monica Rambeau, former Avenger, ''lies all the time.''"

** "They EXPLODE! My life has meaning now!"

--> ''And the girls. I like those "Suicide Girls." On the website. The girls with tattoos and piercings. I like those. No blondes.''

*** Is there a funnier phrase than "Rumpled buttskin"? I think not.

** Dirk Anger. Whenever he is on a panel, hilarity ensues. The guy is a walking, talking, dress-wearing, ice-cream chugging CrowningMomentOfFunny.

The Captain! '''His name is the Captain!'''''