History Funny / IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade

* Indy tells Henry Sr. to use the lighter he stole from Elsa to try and burn through the ropes. He burns his hand and drops the still-lit lighter on the floor. As he tries to put the lighter out, the fire only spreads and gets worse. He then tries to break the news to his son, who's completely oblivious to this:

* When Indy has to step on a series of tiles to spell "Iehova" out, he forgets that in Latin, Jehova begins with an I. Him falling through the floor due to stepping on the wrong tile isn't funny on its own, but the way he reads out "J..." in a tone that sounds like he's teaching a child the alphabet before just ''plummeting'' definitely is.

(Henry Sr. slaps Indy lightly in the face, and responds with the DeathGlare.)\\

'''Indy:''' The hell you will. (everyone looks at him with surprise) He's got a two-day head start on you, which is more than he needs. Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the grail already.\\

'''Indy:''' I ''told you''...''(seizes a machine gun from a distracted guard, then mows away everyone with it, leaving his dad [[JawDrop totally shocked]])''...'''''DON'T''''' call me "Junior"!\\

'''Indy:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I liked the Austrian way better.]]\\
'''Henry Sr.:''' [[DirtyOldMan So did I.]]

** Still!

*** Unless they only chose his class because of the teacher.

-->'''Herman''': ''(discovers a snake has been crawling on his leg for some time, starts promptly [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent freaking out]])''\\
'''Young Indy''': It's only a snake.

-->'''Indy''': ''(on finding the massive Roman numeral ten on the floor of the library, showing the entrance to the catacombs)'' X marks the spot!

-->'''Indy''': ''Fraulein'', will you permit me?\\
'''Elsa''': I usually don't.\\
'''Indy''': I usually don't, either.\\
'''Elsa''': In that case, I permit you.\\
'''Indy''': ''(tucks the flower in the buttonhole of her coat)'' It would make me very happy.\\
'''Elsa''': But I'm already sad. By tomorrow it will have faded.\\
'''Indy''': Tomorrow, I'll steal you another.\\
'''Marcus''': ''(annoyed)'' I hate to interrupt you, but the reason we're here...

-->'''Elsa:''' Are you sure?
-->'''Indy:''' ''(smirking)'' [[ContinuityNod Pretty]] [[Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk sure...]]

-->'''Indy''': Are you ''crazy'', don't go between them!\\
'''Elsa''': Go between them? Are you ''crazy''?!

--->'''Indy''': I said ''go around''.\\
'''Elsa''': You said ''go between them!''\\
'''Indy''': I said '''don't''' go between them!

-->'''Butler''': This ''is'' a castle...and we have ''many'' tapestries...but if you are a Scottish lord, then ''I AM [[WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse MICKEY MOUSE!]]''\\
'''"Lord Clarence [=MacDonald=]"''': How ''dare'' he? ''*knocks out butler*''

-->'''Nazi''': Dr. Jones!\\
'''Both Joneses''': Yes?\\
'''Nazi''': I will take [[MacGuffin the book]] now.\\
'''Both''': [[ObfuscatingStupidity What book?]]

'''Disguised Nazi''': Papers please.\\

---> '''Henry, Sr.''': [[{{Understatement}} Our situation has not improved]].

---> '''Henry Sr.:''' I find that if I just sit down and think...\\

--->'''Indy''': Dad, are we hit?\\
'''Henry Sr.''': More or less. Son, I'm sorry. [[BlatantLies They got us]].

-->'''Henry Sr.:''' (chuckling) [[TemptingFate Well, they don't come any closer than that!]]\\

-->'''Henry Sr:''' Genius of the res-tor-ation…
-->'''Marcus:''' Aid our own re-sus-ci-tation! Henry!

-->'''Henry Sr.:''' Where's Marcus?

-->'''Marcus''': Indy! Henry! Follow me! I know the way! Hyaaaaahhh! (Spurs his horse, which takes off, bouncing him violently in the saddle)\\

** Even funnier when you consider that Hitler had had Donovan searching for the Grail Diary and he LITERALLY had it in his hands right then and there and didn't even notice due to his ego making him think it's just another book.

*** Audiences can't help [[BlackComedy but laugh at the cut to outside the Reptile circus car while Indy screams]] during his freak-out.

'''Henry Sr.:''' ... the solution presents itself!

*** The mere fact that Marcus got "lost in his own museum." The Ultimate Guide reveals that Indy was putting it ''lightly'' and that Marcus had gotten lost in the archives room specifically.
*** That's actually more likely. The British Museum Archives (called the Stacks) are over 3km of corridors and rooms on two floors underground below the Museum proper. And that's not including the Mummy rooms ...

** Furthermore, in that one word we have finally discovered the answer to a three-movie long mystery about what Indiana Jones' real name was. And it was, of course, "Henry Jr" of all things.

** Related: how did Henry know Elsa was a Nazi?
--->'''Henry:''' She talks in her sleep.

'''Both Joneses''': [[NamesTheSame Yes?]]\\

** Just before the tank goes off the cliff, Indy's ''hat'' seems to decide ScrewThisImOuttaHere
** As an added bonus, his hat rolls right back in front of him after that entire scene, as if going "Is it safe to come back now?"

-->'''Henry Sr:''': Genius if the res-tor-ation…
-->'''Marcus:''': Aid our own re-sus-ci-tation! Henry!

—>’’’Henry’’’: Genius if the res-tor-ation…
—>’’’Marcus’’’: Aid our own re-sus-ci-tation! Henry!

** Just before the tank goes off the cliff, Indy's ''[[NiceHat hat]]'' seems to decide ScrewThisImOuttaHere

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/harrison_ford_sean_connery_alison_doody_indiana_jones_and_the_last_crusade.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:"I like the Austrian way better."]]

* Henry Sr. flapping his umbrella and squawking like a seagull to scare a gigantic flock of seagulls into the air and causing the approaching Nazi plane to crash.