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\n* Joker's attempts at doing a war face.

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker cheerfully denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman is at his angriest ]].

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker cheerfully denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman is at his angriest ]].angriest]].



** "WHAT IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT?!" [[spoiler: What happens after that, though, isn't so funny...]]

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** "WHAT IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT?!" [[spoiler: What happens after that, though, isn't so funny...funny.]]



* During the "Me So Horny." When Rafterman was gonna take a picture of Joker and the Vietnamese Prostitute, a local man steals their camera and tries to intimidate Joker with lightning-fast mock Martial arts poses. Joker, living up to his name, responds in kind with his own poses. It doesn't get their camera back, but it's still pretty damn funny.

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* During the "Me So Horny." When Rafterman was gonna take a picture of Joker and the Vietnamese Prostitute, a local man steals their camera and tries to intimidate Joker with lightning-fast mock Martial arts poses. Joker, living up to his name, responds in kind with his own poses. It Still, it doesn't get their camera back, but it's still pretty damn funny.back.



* "Surfin' Bird" is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.

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* [[SoundtrackDissonance "Surfin' Bird" Bird"]] is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.film.
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gordon bennet...


* Bird Is The Word is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.

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* Bird Is The Word "Surfin' Bird" is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.
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* Joker is asked in an interview why did he enlist:

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* Joker is asked in an interview why did he enlist:enlisted:
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** "WHAT IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT?!" [[spoiler: What happens after that, though, isn't so funny...]]
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* Pick almost any sentence from Gunny Hartman and it will be full of pretty funny insults and "inspirational" lines. The sheer creativity alone of his non-stop vulgarity is something [[CrossesTheLineTwice remarkable]]:

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* Pick almost any sentence from Gunny Hartman and it will be [[FloweryInsults full of pretty funny insults insults]] and "inspirational" lines. The sheer creativity alone of his non-stop vulgarity is something [[CrossesTheLineTwice remarkable]]:
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* Many of Gunny Hartman's insults and "inspirational" lines are pretty funny:

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* Many of Pick almost any sentence from Gunny Hartman's Hartman and it will be full of pretty funny insults and "inspirational" lines are pretty funny:lines. The sheer creativity alone of his non-stop vulgarity is something [[CrossesTheLineTwice remarkable]]:
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** Hartman's horrified reaction to Joker deciding to join the military journalists rather than becoming a standard Marine.
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-->Inside every gook there is an American fighting to get out.

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-->Inside -->[[ViolationOfCommonSense Inside every gook there is an American fighting to get out.out]].

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* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VHKpGJX29s scene with the gung-ho Colonel]], especially his bewilderment when he's presented with the Jungian thing and the duality of man.
* During the "Me So Horny." When Rafterman was gonna take a picture of Joker and the Vietnamese Prostitute, a local man steals their camera and tries to intimidate Joker with mock Martial arts poses. Joker, living up to his name responds in kind with his own poses. It doesn't get their camera back, but it's still pretty damn funny.

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* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VHKpGJX29s scene with the gung-ho Colonel]], especially his bewilderment when he's presented with the Jungian thing and the duality of man.
man. And of course, his InsaneTrollLogic:
-->Inside every gook there is an American fighting to get out.
* During the "Me So Horny." When Rafterman was gonna take a picture of Joker and the Vietnamese Prostitute, a local man steals their camera and tries to intimidate Joker with lightning-fast mock Martial arts poses. Joker, living up to his name name, responds in kind with his own poses. It doesn't get their camera back, but it's still pretty damn funny.
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-->AND 50 WATER BUFFALOES!
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* The motto of the military journos: "First to Go — Last to Know: We Will Defend to the Death your Right to be Misinformed."


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* The motto of the military journos: journalists: "First to Go — Last to Know: We Will Defend to the Death your Right to be Misinformed."

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** "Oh, that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there, he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there, you would get up there, wouldn't you?"

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** "Oh, that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there, he He would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?! He?! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there, you would get up there, wouldn't you?"
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** One of R. Lee Ermey's best improvised lines: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!" At one point, Kubrick actually stopped the filming and had Ermey explain what a reach-around was. Amusingly (and perhaps understandably), Kubrick [[EveryoneHasStandards was disgusted.]]

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** One of R. Lee Ermey's best improvised lines: "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!" At one point, Kubrick actually stopped the filming and had Ermey explain what a reach-around was. Amusingly (and perhaps understandably), Kubrick [[EveryoneHasStandards was disgusted.]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice He then demanded a second take of the scene, telling Ermey to be sure to leave that line in.]]
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** During the whole scene, we see Rafterman sitting uncomfortably next to Joker and retching, without any clue on whether he's being sickened by the senseless shooting or by the helicopter ride.
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* Eightball commenting on Animal Mother.
-->'''Eightball''': Now you might not believe it, but under fire Animal Mother is one of the... finest human beings in the world. All he needs is somebody to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.

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** "God has a hard-on for Marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!"



* The motto of the military journos: "First to Go — Last to Know: We Will Defend to the Death our Right to be Misinformed."


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* The motto of the military journos: "First to Go — Last to Know: We Will Defend to the Death our your Right to be Misinformed."

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to:

\n* The motto of the military journos: "First to Go — Last to Know: We Will Defend to the Death our Right to be Misinformed."

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets extremely pissed]].

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker cheerfully denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets extremely pissed]].is at his angriest ]].
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** And right after his gleeful civilian kill count, he proceeds to mention that he's gunned down 50 water buffaloes.

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** And right after his gleeful civilian kill count, he proceeds to mention that he's gunned down 50 water buffaloes. Apparently this is important too.

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* The lads have a ball when a film crew passes by them:
-->'''Joker:''' Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?\\
'''Cowboy:''' Hey, start the cameras. This is Vietnam: The Movie.\\
Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne, I'll be a horse.\\
T. H. E. Rock can be a rock.\\
I'll be Ann-Margret.\\
Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.\\
I'll be General Custer.\\
'''Rafterman:''' Who'll be the Indians?\\
'''Animal Mother:''' Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets pissed]].

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** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets extremely pissed]].
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Added DiffLines:

** And right after his gleeful civilian kill count, he proceeds to mention that he's gunned down 50 water buffaloes.
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Added DiffLines:

** "I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump. " Then Joker denies believing in her [[RealMenLoveJesus and Hartman gets pissed]].
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** [[http://youtu.be/5TNhS81w4bM Watch all of Hartman's classic "inspirations" here!]]
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I cannot afford to not put that in, I mean it is a funny song!!!!




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\n*Bird Is The Word is played during a scene of the film and I must admit it is a funny song.
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* The door gunner doing his "[[ObligatoryWarCrimeScene thing]]" is heinous, but his casual, unapologetic delivery is ''so'' good that it [[CrossesTheLineTwice crosses]] into ComedicSociopathy territory: "Ain't war hell?"
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** "HOLY DOG SHIT!!! Texas! only queers and steers come from Texas and you don't look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down!!"

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** "HOLY DOG SHIT!!! "Holy dog shit, Texas! only Only queers and steers come from Texas Texas...and you don't look like a steer to me me, so that kinda narrows it down!!"down."
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** "How tall are you, private?" "Sir, five foot nine, sir!" "Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!"

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