History Fanfic / ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen

''Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen'' — note the spelling mistakes in the title — is a ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]'' fanfic written by one "[=BeckyMac666=]", who is widely believed to be [[Fanfic/MyImmortal Tara Gilesbie in disguise]]. It's the story of Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, commonly called "Tiana" or "Tiaa", who moves to Forks, Washington, to live with her new foster parents. Tiana is antisocial and psychologically damaged due to a traumatic childhood, which doesn't help when added to her [[SoBeautifulItsACurse beauty]] and her first day of school, when she meets [[strike: Edward]] "Ewdard" Cullen, who believes she is a vampire. It just goes downhill from there.

* AbusiveParents: Okay, so Dave and Marie aren't ''actually'' abusive, but if they didn't figure out that something was wrong with Tiana after every time she runs off and cries, they should never be allowed to take care of a child again.

** Dave finds Tiana in her closet crying and "smokin drugs" (he thinks the cigarette of pot is a ''chapstick''). When she says that she wants to die, we get this gem:

** When Tiana hurls an ashtray at his head using her telekinesis, he doesn't even comment. And neither him nor Marie seem to have a problem with their foster daughter (who is sixteen, by the way) dressing like a dominatrix and staying out all night.
* AuthorAvatar: As one reviewer said, "Did you honestly think no one would notice that her middle name is your first name spelt differently?", and Tiana's three friends are clearly the author's friends.
* BerserkButton: Tell Tiana she's pretty, and she'll probably launch into an aggressive tirade about how shallow you are ([[IResembleThatRemark before rhapsodising about the beauty of Edward - "the pale hawt guy" - herself]]). When Eric glanced at her cleavage, she went Kung Fu on his ass, even though she was ''wandering around school in her bra'' at the time. 'Cause, you know, [[AllMenArePerverts men are just perverts]].

* DirtyOldMan: Dave and Tiana have a brief exchange in Chapter 8 where he mentions her cleavage as casually as any dad would remark about the weather. And then there's Uncle Larry, of course. And Tiana, for absolutely no reason, neglects to tell anyone that he raped her.

* EmoTeen: Tiana, who thinks she's goth.

** Tiana knees Edward in the "gigglestick" when he comes on to her aggressively.

* HiveMind: When we meet Tiana's three friends, they speak in unison.
* {{Hypocrite}}: Tiana says that she would never try to steal another woman's boyfriend... and proceeds to do ''exactly that''.

* PandaingToTheAudience: Horribly subverted by Snoofles, who seems like an adorable fluffy pet at first, but soon engages in a highly disturbing drunken threesome with Gay!Jasper and a random human. Although Tiana deemed the whole thing "cute", it ''really'' wasn't.

-->"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot.

** Tiana knees Edward in the "gigglestick" when he comes onto her agressively.

* {{Hypocrite}}: Tiana says that she would never try to steal another woman's boyfriend...and proceeds to do ''exactly that''.

* {{Neologism}}: "'I dunno maybe' I plimpled mutely." Wait. ''plimpled''?

-->"omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?"

-->I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe

* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Edward, who throws around "thy", "thee", "thou" and "art" randomly, without having a clue as to what they mean. A good example is: "'thou reminds me of bygone times' he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek 'thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional'". This is supposedly done to reinforce the fact Edward is a LongLived vampire, but he's only barely over 100 years old, when this manner of speech was ''long'' abandoned.

''Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen'' — note the spelling mistakes in the title — is a ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fanfic written by one "[=BeckyMac666=]", who is widely believed to be [[Fanfic/MyImmortal Tara Gilesbie in disguise]]. It's the story of Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, commonly called "Tiana" or "Tiaa", who moves to Forks, Washington, to live with her new foster parents. Tiana is antisocial and psychologically damaged due to a traumatic childhood, which doesn't help when added to her [[SoBeautifulItsACurse beauty]] and her first day of school, when she meets [[strike: Edward]] "Ewdard" Cullen, who believes she is a vampire. It just goes downhill from there.

* StealthParody: Not quite as bad as ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', if only because ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' is basically the Internet's #1 snark-target.

-->"I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe"

''Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen'' — note the spelling mistakes in the title — is a ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fanfic written by one '[=BeckyMac666'=], who is widely believed to be [[Fanfic/MyImmortal Tara Gilesbie in disguise]]. It's the story of Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, commonly called "Tiana" or "Tiaa", who moves to Forks, Washington, to live with her new foster parents. Tiana is antisocial and psychologically damaged due to a traumatic childhood, which doesn't help when added to her [[SoBeautifulItsACurse beauty]] and her first day of school, when she meets [[strike: Edward]] "Ewdard" Cullen, who believes she is a vampire. It just goes downhill from there.

* BodyHorror: Edward's penis has been described as a "mancarrot" and a "throbbing lavender man-fruit thing". He still fares better than Jacob; ''Jacob's'' is charmingly described as looking like a "horrible wet mushroom". Also, the tendency of the author to describe people as "mussely".

* BerserkButton: Tell Tiana she's pretty, and she'll probably launch into an aggressive tirade about how shallow you are ([[IResembleThatRemark before rhapsodising about the beauty of Edward - "the pale hawt guy" - herself]]). When Mike [[strike:Newton]] Nooton glanced at her cleavage, she went Kung Fu on his ass, even though she was ''wandering around school in her bra'' at the time. 'Cause, you know, [[AllMenArePerverts men are just perverts]].

** " I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there. I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed."

The story can be found [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9117495/2/Forbiden-Fruit-The-Tempation-of-Edward-Cullen here]].
And a dramatic reading of the first chapter can be found [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYvYc2yK9vc here]].

** If you look closely, you can spot a few to ''My Immortal'', but a few are obvious, such as this one, which occurs right after... The scene in the gym:

** Edward intersperses YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe with words like "OMG".

* StealthParody: Not quite as bad as ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', if only because ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' is basically the internet's number 1 snark-target.

* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Edward, who throws around 'thy', 'thee', 'thou' and 'art' randomly without having a clue as to what they mean. A poignant example is: "thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional". This is supposedly done to reinforce the fact Edward is a LongLived vampire, but he's only barely over 100 years old, when this manner of speech was ''long'' abandoned.

* BodyHorror: Edward's penis has been described as a 'mancarrot' and a 'throbbing lavender man-fruit thing'. He still fares better than Jacob; ''Jacob's'' is charmingly described as looking like a "horrible wet mushroom." Also, the tendency of the author to describe people as "mussely."

* BerserkButton: Tell Tiana she's pretty, and she'll probably launch into an aggressive tirade about how shallow you are ([[IResembleThatRemark before rhapsodising about the beauty of Edward - "the pale hawt guy" - herself]]). When Mike [[strike:Newton]] Nooton glanced at her cleavage she went Kung Fu on his ass, even though she was ''wandering around school in her bra'' at the time. 'Cause, you know, [[AllMenArePerverts men are just perverts]].

* {{Hypocrite}}: Tiana says that she would never try to steal another woman's boyfriend, and proceeds to do exactly that.

* IKEAErotica: Every sex scene. And the spanking...dear God, the ''spanking''!

* {{Neologism}}: "I dunno maybe" I plimpled mutely." Wait. ''Plimpled?''

-->"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?!!!!! [...] " It was Bella Swan!!

* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Edward, who throws around 'thy', 'thee', 'thou' and 'art' randomly without having a clue as to what they mean. A poignant example is: "thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional". This is supposedly done to reinforce the fact Edward is a LongLived vampire, but he's only barely over 100 years old, where this manner of speech was long abandoned.

* NiceHat: Tiana wears "a gothic '''top hat''' with feathers on it" in Chapter Seven.

* TheCheerleader: Bella and Jessica have become this. They go around school, haunting Tia, and are often referred to as “ditzy.”

* InterspeciesRomance: Human/Vampire/''Panda''. Yes, you read that [[{{Squick}} correctly]].

* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Edward, who throws around 'thy', 'thee', 'thou' and 'art' randomly without having a clue as to what they mean. A poignant example is: "thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional""

''Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen'' — note the spelling mistakes in the title — is a ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fanfic written by one '[=BeckyMac666'=], who is widely believed to be [[Fanfic/MyImmortal Tara in disguise]]. It's the story of Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, commonly called "Tiana" or "Tiaa", who moves to Forks, Washington, to live with her new foster parents. Tiana is antisocial and psychologically damaged due to a traumatic childhood, which doesn't help when added to her [[SoBeautifulItsACurse beauty]] and her first day of school, when she meets [[strike: Edward]] "Ewdard" Cullen, who believes she is a vampire. It just goes downhill from there.