History FanFic / ChristianHumberReloaded

* BreatherBoss -- The ring master, who goes down quite easily, even compared to many of Vashs' other foes, and is not as much of a threat as other villains.

* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands -- Arguably, the MostTriumphantExample.

''Christian Humber Reloaded'' is a very strong contender for "worst fanfic ever written," aided by the fact that, unlike ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', most agree that it is ''not'' a parody, [[StealthParody stealth]] or otherwise. The storyline barely has any coherency, the protagonist is absurdly overpowered, the prose is unevocative with terrible grammar and punctuation, and a staggering number of series are butchered by virtue of being jammed into it with no regard to canon. It is so horrible it [[CrossestheLineTwice crosses the line twice]] into pure, unmitigated awesome not experienced since ''ManosTheHandsOfFate''.

* BileFascination -- Hence, its fame.

* TookALevelInBadass -- Vash takes several over the course of the plot, and [[KingdomHearts Sora]] gets some of Vash's power when Vash heals his injures.

* WriterCopOut -- ''"With ease"'' should sum it up, or a new power level or fusion or something.

* VindicatedByHistory -- Humber is an [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann obscenely overpowered]] [[TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja bizarre mish-mash of species and professions,]] [[MSPaintAdventures equipped with a dizzying array of]] [[ProblemSleuth video game cliches and]] [[{{Homestuck}} fused equipment,]] and [[AxeCop virtually none of his insane enemies can stop him and his equally-bizarre sidekicks.]] Guess what [[BeyondTheImpossible style of storytelling]] became wildly popular just after the time this was released to the world?

* AlternateCharacterInterpretation -- Christian "Vashblade" Humber: Hero or hahahaha who are we kidding. Kekanu: menace to society or [[FanNickname demon prince]] trying to fight the good fight? The Corrupted Self: Evil-er twin who [[ChaoticEvil murders with even greater impunity]], or [[XanatosGambit diabolic mastermind]] urging on Humber's base urges?
** Vashblade fights against people who are ostensibly villains and is willing to go to considerable lengths to help out or avenge his friends and allies, even if doing so involves a lot of killing. He can be considered either an extremely ruthless and sociopathic AntiHero at the dark end of Type V or a VillainProtagonist with very few redeeming qualities.
** Kekanu could also be interpreted as a cunning good guy trying to stop "Vashblade", he's the only one who is able to beat the protagonist in a fight (Granted, he had help but this is fighting against someone who could punch suns) with a bit of forward-planning. Sadly, he was not to last, making way for the Corrupted-self to appear more often.
** The webcomic suggests that when the kids "tackled" Vash after he killed Soku again near the end of Part I, they did so out of hatred since he unintentionally gave suggestions that he was a pedophile.
** Did Soku make the difficult decision to turn in her friend after she saw she was unable to get him to stop his violent lifestyle, or was she merely opportunistic and motivated by the money?

* CharacterAlignment -- Vash starts out as ChaoticNeutral in early part 1, being mainly concerned with his own survival, but quickly dips into ChaoticEvil, killing people for any or no reason.

* CompleteMonster -- VASHBLADE. He commits so many horrific atrocities, some due to DisproportionateRetribution, others for [[ChaoticEvil no reason at all.]]
** Arguably, while Vash commits several acts that put him over the MoralEventHorizon, he falls short of the requirements that his actions be heinous by the story's standards([[ProtagonistCenteredMorality We are apparently supposed to approve of them]]), not showing any regret for his actions (He sometimes [[TheAtoner atones for his crimes]] and regrets killing Soku both times), and is not completely devoid of altruistic qualities (protecting Season-Bringer, being a FriendToAllChildren). It seems to be a case of the author underestimating the gravity of his crimes and inadequately trying to balance them out.

* DracoInLeatherPants -- For Vashbladehumber himself, played straight, as we're supposed to emphasize someone whose heroic batting average is lacking at best. Otherwise? ''Averted.'' There's even a scene wherein Roxas realizes Organization XIII are, pretty much to a man, [[CardCarryingVillain total assholes,]] and assists Humber in deliverating them to oblivion.
** In one case, ''inverted,'' as sympathetic FFX-2 villain Shuyin is painted as an "ugly" and twisted fiend, despite being a dead ringer for Tidus.

* GatlingGood: Vash [[DualWielding wields two ]][[MoreDakka miniguns]] to kill the snobs.

* HalfHumanHybrid -- He's a wolf with a "human form," but he's also a [[DragonBall Super Saiyan]] and he seems to be part demon and dragon as well as [[{{Bionicle}} Hordeka]].

* MartyStu -- Specifically...
** GodModeSue -- To the point of being ''more powerful than {{God}}'' by the halfway point, ''and he doesn't stop''.
** JerkassStu -- He'll kill or maim anybody for just about any reason, or none at all.
** FixerSue -- Occasionally Humber will try to "take revenge" or "set things right," only to fail miserably. For instance, he takes "revenge" on Seymour Guado, TheDragon of Final Fantasy X, by dragging him out of the Farplane, mutilating him and leaving him for (re-)dead, only to later discover Seymour's still alive. He never gets around to killing him again, either.

* MoralEventHorizon -- At least once per part. To wit:
** Part One: Skinning street gangs alive, nailing them to walls, and leaving them to die; murdering a little girl who turned him in to the police for beating up the Japanese emperor, then murdering her entire extended family and the rest of her hometown.
** Part Two: "Deleting" what a spy saw from her memory. [[UnfortunateImplications Note said spy is a human woman.]]
** Part Three: ''Murdering 6,000,000 innocent people at the Superbowl, followed by singling out one policeman for AFateWorseThanDeath.'' Also murdering a bunch of scientists later, but that aforementioned massacre is hard to follow up on.
*** It's worth noting that at the Super Bowl, where Vash teleported by accident and got surrounded by soldiers, Vash was (surprisingly) originally planning to fight his way out without killing anyone, but after getting shot in the shoulder, decides to kill everyone there just to show them what it's like to face Horteka in battle.
** Part Four: Mocking the weeping family of a demon he just murdered. Not as spectacular as the above, but exceptionally heartless.
** Part Five: Dragging dead Final Fantasy X bosses out of the Farplane and torturing them to death... or, rather, ''almost'' to death, thus bringing said holocaust-happy big bads back to life and promptly forgetting about them. He also forces a kid to remain silent about his whereabouts and bring him food every night by threatening to kill him and his entire family if he does not.
** Part Six: Marching on Washington, D.C. and killing numerous soldiers trying to defend the president when all involved could easily bypass them.
* {{Narm}} -- "Soil is my power!" "NO! WHOEVER DID THIS WILL PAY DEARLY, BECAUSE I LOVED THEM?" "I like you too, Soku."
** “[[BadassBoast I will rip out your hearts eat them then crap out your souls, you will taste oblivion, which tastes like Red Bull, which is disgusting]]!”

* OffstageVillainy -- It's hard to tell how evil most of the villains are by how they're portrayed in the fic, since theydo little except fight Vash.

* RescuedFromTheScrappyHeap -- Kagome, I mean Kagone, generally dismissed as the "annoying useless girl," is the only force in all of nature who can ''stop'' Humber once he goes berserk. He even trusts her with his panoply of megaweapons when he hops off to find Paradise.

* SoBadItsGood or
* SoBadItsHorrible, [[YourMileageMayVary depending on your mileage]].

* TearJerker -- The fate of Kekanu and his family.

* MoralDissonance-- Almost anything Humber does in this story, but there's the Super Bowl and the murder of Soku's family just because she told the police that he beat the crap out of the Japanese Emperor! And this is the guy trusted with judging the souls of the dead, a privilege he abuses.

* ScienceIsBad -- Scientists killed his family. Humber later clarifies that he only hates science when it inconveniences him, as he has no problem with cybernetic limbs and nuclear weapons.

* StupidEvil: Vash's taking Seymour and Yunalesca out of the Farplane, torturing them and leaving them not quite dead. Since he tends to fight to stop villains most of the time (if only because he thinks he's the only one allowed to kill people), this doesn't make sense for any of his goals. He also gets captured when he goes to check up on the cop he turned into a freak of nature.

* GatlingGood: Vash [[DualWielding wields two ]][[MoreDakka miniguns to kill the snobs.

A group of bullies at the school tricked Christian into giving them a copy, which they then spread online for all to see with the sole intention of causing Humber humiliation. They were eventually forced by the school to publicly apologize for their harassment, but it was too late by then: they'd already unleashed the monstrous fanfic on us all and the name of Christian Humber had become infamous worldwide. Humber has recently revealed that he intended on posting the story eventually, though in his time on the internet he has yet to do so. More than anything else, the story serves as a very private look into the mind of a troubled youth.


This troper went to the same school (The Woodhall School in Bethlethem, CT) as our hero. I can assure you that everything he wrote is dead serious. He thought that he had magical powers, and would causally mention that he had killed stadiums full of people the night before. I didn't deal with him, but I heard that he was also a pathological liar, for example reporting a large knife on school campus that within hours had changed colours and grown and shrunk several inches. Obviously, the school went on lockdown because of this- plus, he was a complete ass. He was not terribly popular, but he did have one friend, who is almost as weird. Calling the two bullies is not fair. Living in the same very small dorm with kids like Humber, to say the least, does not bring out the best in you.

** Part Five: Dragging dead Final Fantasy X bosses out of the Farplane and torturing them to death... or, rather, ''almost'' to death, thus bringing said holocaust-happy big bads back to life and promptly forgetting about them.

* GoshDangItToHeck -- semi-{{Averted}}. Throughout most of the story, Humber is perfectly fine saying "fuck", "shit", et cetera...but constantly censors the word "b[[spoiler:itch]]".

This troper went to the same school (The Woodhall School in Bethlethem, CT) as our hero. I can assure you that everything he wrote is dead serious. He thought that he had magical powers, and would causally mention that he had killed stadiums full of people the night before. I didn't deal with him, but I heard that he was also a pathological liar, for example reporting a large knife on school campus that within hours had changed colours and grown and shrunk several inches. Obviously, he had a lockdown because of this. Plus, he was a complete ass. He was not terribly popular, but he did have one friend, who is almost as weird. Calling the two bullies is not fair. Living in the same very small dorm with kids like Humber, to say the least, does not bring out the best in you.

This troper went to the same school (The Woodhall School in Bethlethem, CT) as our hero. I can assure you that everything he wrote is dead serious. He belived that he had magical powers, and would causually mention that he had killed stadiums full of people the night before. I didn't deal with him, but I heard that he was also a patholgoical liar, for example reporting a large knife on school campus that within hours had changed colours and grown and shrunk several inches. Obviously, he had a lockdown because of this. Plus, he was a complete ass. He was not terribly popular, but he did have one friend, who is almost as weird.

This troper went to the same school (The Woodhall School in Bethlethem, CT) as our hero. I can assure you that everything he wrote is dead serious. He belived that he had magical powers, and would causually mention that he had killed stadiums full of people the night before. I didn't deal with him, but I heard that he was also a patholgoical liar, for example reporting a large knife on school campus that within hours had changed colours and grown and shrunk several inches. Obviously, he had a lockdown because of this. Plus, he was a complete ass. He was not terribly popular, but he did have one friend, who is almost as weird.

* AntiHero -- Humber is Type V when he isn't a VilainProtagonist, going after people like criminals with no regard for human life or collateral damage.

* DidNotDoTheResearch -- Hoo boy, this could take a while...

* MegaCrossover -- In order of introduction: ''{{Trigun}}'', ''DragonballZ'', ''{{Bionicle}}'', ''SonicTheHedgehog'', ''DawnOfWar'', ''FinalFantasy Unlimited'', ''InuYasha'' (in the form of a white Shikon jewel smacking him in the head), ''{{Starcraft}}'', ''KingdomHearts'', ''OutlawStar'' (via a "Castor" shotgun!), ''TheMatrix'' (blatantly stealing several action scenes from the first movie), ''{{Doom}}'' (with weapons renamed after ''FinalFantasy'' mainstays), ''Inu Yasha'' again (recasting Humber as Inu Yasha), ''{{Halo}}'', ''WolfsRain'', ''MegaManX'', ''FinalFantasyX'', ''PrinceOfPersia'' (circa Playstation 2/Xbox), ''{{Hellsing}}'', and last and least ''StreetSharks''. That's a total of nineteen different series crossed over, repeatedly. That is, a total of nineteen that the average nerd would recognize. Beyond this there are any number of cliche storylines, plotlines gingerly taken from existing movies and media, and truly bizarre digressions and statements that may be references to media the average Internet jockey can't begin to identify.

* MoralDissonance-- Almost anything Humber does in this story, but there's the Super Bowl and the murder of Soku's family just because she told the police that he beat the crap out of the Japanese Emperor!

* OmnicidalManiac -- Humber himself.

* CurbStompBattle -- Nearly every fight Vash gets into.

* Off the top of the [[Tropers/KriegsaffeNo9 coroner's]] head, he wakes up in: the little girl and her father's house, in the Toa's hut, in the hospital after the Kekanu fight, in the arctic wolves' caverns twice in a row, in ''heaven'' after killing the Eye of Terror, in the care of the Past Matorin after getting Horteka'd, in Area 51 after taunting the cop he mutated, in Dead Humber Cave after getting de-cursed by Kagone, in the super evil lab after getting caught with the rest of the cast of Wolf's Rain, in the Farplane after defeating his Corrupted Self, and in Chridon's hut after re-re-killing the Eye of Terror.

Update: The webcomic by NormalMan has sadly come to an end after Humber's family filed a complaint, and many videos relating to Christian Humber Reloaded have been taken down.

It's hard to describe the plot of the story, not because it's intricate and involved, but because it's very... sporadic, to put it lightly. The first chapters describe a wolf whose family is killed by hunters, and who is subjected to experiments by scientists. Sort of [[TheSecretOfNIMH Rats of NIMH]] by way of WhiteFang, you might say. The last chapters describe a [[GodModeSue cyborg vampire wolf-Saiyan-Demon-Dragon-Horteka armed to the teeth with multiply-apocalyptic superpowers and weapons]] marching on Washington alongside [[{{Hellsing}} the father of all vampires,]] [[KingdomHearts a world-hopping mystic knight,]] [[StreetSharks his cyborg shark-man boyfriend]], and his half-brother, [[OurDragonsAreDifferent a miles-long dragon that can control the seasons]]. How did he get from point A to point B? [[CompleteMonster By murdering billions of demons, monsters, aliens, soldiers, cops, scientists, and innocent bystanders]] [[MegaCrossover from all across the multiverse]].

* ArtificialLimbs - Vash gets a robotic limb to replace his arm.
* BeyondTheImpossible -- Has been said to be "The [[DragonBall DBZ]] of [[SoBadItsHorrible horribleness]]"

** He actually used [[GundamWing Wing Zero]]'s buster rifles once.

* UnfamiliarCeiling -- Twice near the begining, first in the village, then the Toa.

*KidsAreCruel Christian Humbert's classmates are total [[jerkass jerkasses]] . Or maybe [TeensareMonsters]. Either way, the comic might even be considered the author's StartOfDarkness , as he probably UsedToBeASweetKid and ThisTroper sincerely hopes he goes on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge . Either way, ThisTroper thinks that the loathing that random internet people direct at this kid ForTheEvuls is proof that HumansAreBastards , since he probably was only 14 or 15 at the time of writing. More than half the students in her highschool couldn't read or read properly at that age.

* SpiritualSuccessor: This troper is currently writing a "sequel" to Christian Humber Reloaded which plans to live up to the original. It currently has lines such as:
** I was stranded miles out at sea for at least 317 days. I survived by hunting and eating giant sharks. A giant squid tried to attack me and that was one tough battle.
*** [[RedundancyDepartmentOfRedundancy I needed to make sure it was the actual death note and not a rip off so I found a phonebook and copied the entire phonebook into the death note and the entire city dropped dead which made me smile my insane smile because I had killed 48,000,000,000 people instantly because I found the Death Note.]]
*** I got on the driver seat and told the passengers “It’s okay every one I’m driving the bus to the farplane now and I won’t kill you if you don’t get on my nerves” I killed one guy anyway by tearing out his spine with my robot arm as an example so the others wouldn’t get on my nerves.

* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill -- I believe Humber actually says that at one point, either showing knowledge of TV Tropes or is simply bat-shit crazy!
** We didn't exactly invent the phrase. Not sure who did.
** He says "I was ready to give chaos a whole new meaning of the word "Overkill".