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-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty...""some kind o
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-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty...""some kind o"
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* EvilCannotComprehendGood: Quite literally, he's only able to describe the Star Child's aura of [[IncorruptiblePurePureness]] as "some kind of anti-negative energy".
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* EvilCannotComprehendGood: Quite literally, he's only able to describe the [[IncorruptiblePurePureness Star Child's aura of [[IncorruptiblePurePureness]] aura]] as "some kind of anti-negative energy".
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-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty..."
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-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty..."""some kind o
* EvilCannotComprehendGood: Quite literally, he's only able to describe the Star Child's aura of [[IncorruptiblePurePureness]] as "some kind of anti-negative energy".
* EvilCannotComprehendGood: Quite literally, he's only able to describe the Star Child's aura of [[IncorruptiblePurePureness]] as "some kind of anti-negative energy".
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] ([[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheEmperor The Emperor]]) | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar''']]-]]]
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] ([[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheEmperor The Emperor]]) | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] ([[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheBroTripCrusade The Bro Trip Crusade]]) | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar''']]-]]]
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar''']]-]]]
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] ([[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheEmperor The Emperor]]) | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar''']]-]]]
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** He's not merely the god of the trickery and humor, but the Eldar's god of humor. Considering that the Eldar squicked Slaanesh into existence, it's pretty terrifying to think about what they consider is "funny".
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%%% Zero Context
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* VillainousRescue: Episode 30 starts with her and her entourage on her way to rescue Russ and the rest of the Bearded Triumvirate so that the Star Child can finish off Vect.
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-->'''Rakarth:''' "Shut the fuck up!"
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-->'''Rakarth:''' "Shut the fuck up!"up."
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-->'''Star Child:''' "Besides that, none of you would have to kill and torture anymore! I mean, you'd have no real reason to even put down the effort!"
-->'''Vect:''' (awkward laugh) "That's uh-"
-->'''Rakarth:''' "Shut the fuck up!"
-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty..."
-->'''Vect:''' (awkward laugh) "That's uh-"
-->'''Rakarth:''' "Shut the fuck up!"
-->'''Vect:''' "-a bit hasty..."
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* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory with Urien's entertainment value seeming from [[{{Foil}} highlighting]] Vect's entertaining traits.
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* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory with Urien's entertainment value seeming stemming from [[{{Foil}} highlighting]] Vect's entertaining traits.
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* StrawNihilist: As Vect mentions, deep down the Drukhari have given up on life, and simply want to enjoy what pleasure they can on their one-way trip to oblivion.
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* AesopAmnesia: In their Stellaris game, he fails to properly prepare for the end times by sinking most of his resources into pleasure domes. The sort of thing that doomed his species the last time around.
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheEldar The Eldar''']]-]]]
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheEldar The '''The Eldar''']]-]]]
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice Main Character Index]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar'''
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] |
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--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbWcXB0PoqOsAvAdfzWMf0w Fredrik]] [[WebVideo/DownTheRabbitHole Knudsen]]
-->''This really is not the time for tomfoolery, though. The Despoiler gathers his forces in the Eye... The children of man stir and breathe anew, eons of corrosion shuffled off... And so, with this new era approaching it is time to make our final preparations.''
-->''This really is not the time for tomfoolery, though. The Despoiler gathers his forces in the Eye... The children of man stir and breathe anew, eons of corrosion shuffled off... And so, with this new era approaching it is time to make our final preparations.''
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[[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice Main Character Index]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheImperialPalace The Imperial Palace]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheRestOfTheImperium The Rest of the Imperium]] | [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDeviceTheForcesOfChaos The Forces of Chaos]] | '''The Eldar'''
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* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory.
to:
* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory.backstory with Urien's entertainment value seeming from [[{{Foil}} highlighting]] Vect's entertaining traits.
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* VillainousBreakdown: He slowly mentally and physically disintegrates as all his efforts to intimidate the Star Child fail. [[spoiler: He regains his composure after he finally makes Fyodor give into despair by revealing all his companions have been sent to die in the arena.]]
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* CardCarryingVillain: His reaction to the problem of the Dark Eldar torturing the other races for millennia is, essentially, "what problem?"
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* CardCarryingVillain: His reaction to the problem of the Dark Eldar torturing the other races for millennia is, essentially, "what problem?"problem?" and he seems outright offended when he and Vect realize their plan would render the Dark Eldar's torturous ways unnecessary.
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* BeigeProse: He explains the plan to the Star-Child by bluntly saying they will torture him. Vect forces him to go into more detail.
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* BeigeProse: He explains the plan to torture the Star-Child by by... bluntly saying they will torture him. Vect forces him to go into more detail.detail.
* CardCarryingVillain: His reaction to the problem of the Dark Eldar torturing the other races for millennia is, essentially, "what problem?"
* CardCarryingVillain: His reaction to the problem of the Dark Eldar torturing the other races for millennia is, essentially, "what problem?"
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* TortureTechnician: It's his entire role and he displays a little too much glee in it.
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* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and the Emperor states he's "[[AC:a contender for worst living creature ever conceived]]" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory.
to:
* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and the Emperor states he's "[[AC:a is "a contender for worst living creature ever conceived]]" conceived" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory.
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* HateSink: His appearance alone invokes disgust in everyone witnessing and the Emperor states he's "[[AC:a contender for worst living creature ever conceived]]" in [[CrapsackWorld a setting with A LOT of steep competition]]. He has all of Vect's cruelty and sadism without his charm, style, or slightly mitigating backstory.
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* StockShticks: The Laughing God's sense of humor was stale thirty-eight millennia ago, but ''you'' tell that to, well, ''The Laughing [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin God]]''. If you're lucky he might just kill you.
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* FloatingLimbs: Is fully capable of detaching his gloved hands if he feels it.
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Proper formatting.
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* FauxAffablyEvil: Even more so than Lucius, since he isn't even making TermsOfEndangerment, he's holding a polite conversation while engaged in [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder normal Dark Eldar politics]]. he also speaks to the Star Child in affable terms even while plotting to have him tortured to feed all of Commorragh.
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* FauxAffablyEvil: Even more so than Lucius, since he isn't even making TermsOfEndangerment, he's holding a polite conversation while engaged in [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder normal Dark Eldar politics]]. he also speaks to the [[spoiler:the Star Child Child]] in affable terms even while plotting to have him tortured to [[spoiler:to feed all of Commorragh.Commorragh]].
* GoodFeelsGood: [[spoiler:Vect describes that this wave of positive emotion is making him truly happy and content with his life, while it is slowly killing him.]]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
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** [[spoiler: GoodFeelsGood:]] [[spoiler: And at the same time, Vect describes that this wave of positive emotion is making him truly happy and content with his life, while it is slowly killing him.]]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
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%%%* TheStarscream: To Vect.
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* BeigeProse: He explains the plan to the Star-Child by bluntly saying they will torture him. Vect forces him to go into more detail.
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* MajorInjuryUnderreaction: Takes [[spoiler: one of this arms falling off from the Star Child's influence]] remarkably well.
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!!Urien Rakarth, Master Haemonculus of the Prophets of Flesh
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Urien Rakarth]]
--> '''Voiced by:''' Fresh
A master Haemonculus and undoubtedly one of the most vile individuals of the Drukhari, if not the 42nd Millenium.
----
* EvilGenius: He's no doubt one of the smartest of the Dark Eldar, and his field of expertise is...shall we say, less than savory.
* ScienceIsBad: He shows this side of science very well, using a Casket of Flensing, which is meant to remove victims' skin, and a Necromantic Depravator that could [[spoiler: rapidly warp the Star Child between Commoragh and a pocket dimension filled with Null flesh, which would suppress his powers.]]
[[folder:Urien Rakarth]]
--> '''Voiced by:''' Fresh
A master Haemonculus and undoubtedly one of the most vile individuals of the Drukhari, if not the 42nd Millenium.
----
* EvilGenius: He's no doubt one of the smartest of the Dark Eldar, and his field of expertise is...shall we say, less than savory.
* ScienceIsBad: He shows this side of science very well, using a Casket of Flensing, which is meant to remove victims' skin, and a Necromantic Depravator that could [[spoiler: rapidly warp the Star Child between Commoragh and a pocket dimension filled with Null flesh, which would suppress his powers.]]
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!The Aeldari/Eldar
Every spoiler up to episode 25 (the last episode before the podcasts and spinoffs start) is left unmarked.Click [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice here]] to return to the main character page.\\\
[[foldercontrol]]
!!Gods of the Eldar
Three Eldar gods survived the birth of Slaanesh: Isha, the goddess of healing; Cegorach, the Laughing God; and Khaine, the god of war, who has been shattered into countless shards of essence (though that doesn't stop him from using Spacebook and [[IntergenerationalFriendship being Khorne's gym buddy]]). Thus far, all three seem to be considerably more level-headed than the rest of the galaxy.
----
[[folder:General]]
* FriendlyEnemy: Strictly speaking, the Eldar gods are the enemies of Chaos. Isha still has a happy relationship with Nurgle, and Khaine and Khorne are gym buddies.
* GrumpyOldMan: Khaine is the oldest god still in existence, and has little patience with the antics of those Chaos whippersnappers.
* IntergenerationalFriendship: [[FriendlyEnemy Sort of]] with Khaine and Khorne. Khaine is a ''much'' older god than Khorne, but they have an amicable relationship, with Khorne being respectful of him (as a berserker WarGod like him can allow) and okay with accompanying him during "leg day".
* MindHive: Presumably Khaine survived in a state similar to the Emperor's, with one central ego and a plethora of lesser soul shards.
* NiceGirl: Isha is sensitive, considerate, and all around pleasant to everyone but Slaanesh. She certainly has her reasons.
[[/folder]]
----
[[folder:Cegorach, the Laughing God]]
[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/cegorach_fullbody.png]]
----
* BerserkButton: Unless you're [[MemeticBadass Ephrael Stern]] levels of strong, don't badmouth Cegorach's Harlequins. He's already bad news even in a good mood, and he will plot your demise if you so much as take a dig at them or their material.
* CreepyGood: Cegorach is without question one of the most terrifying beings shown in the entirety of the series, with attitudes ranging from nightmarishly humorous (his default mood) to ''utterly menacing.'' That being said, all of his malicious actions have been directed to AssholeVictims like the C'Tan, Ahriman, and dangerous Space Marine chapters, all of whom could cause unspeakable damage on a planetary if not ''galactic'' scale if left unchecked. While he does toy around with Custodisi and Whammudes for shits and giggles, he doesn't do anything to actually harm them and even lets them into the Black Library (though it's ambiguous whether he mistook them for Solitaries or if he actually knew who they were from the beginning and simply let them in cause they were Custodes like Kitten).
* FrenchJerk: Cegorach has a notably thick French accent due to his voice actor Failsnake being French. He's also a massive {{Troll}} who enjoys either antagonizing or messing with anyone who comes to the Black Library. He also collaborated with The Deceiver to bait it's fellow C'tan into warring among themselves and almost driving themselves to total extinction, seemingly [[BecauseItAmusedMe for giggles.]]
* {{Leitmotif}}: Cegorach has [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzWsLaolyLw Prime Clown]], a whimsically menacing accordion tune that manages to override the Intro theme (before ending with a ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' ShoutOut).
* MonsterClown: Cegorach, with his odd mismatched clothes and eternal SlasherSmile. Most of his malicious actions have been directed to AssholeVictims such as Ahriman and the C'Tan, who kinda deserved what was coming to them, but he's also used his appearance and creepiness to terrify Whammudes and Custodisi as well. Although arguably Whammudes and Custodisi are also AssholeVictims based on how they treat Kitten.
** It makes sence since Ahriman and C'Tan are galactic-scale threats and Custodes are [[JerkJock Jerk Jocks]] at worst.
* NoPronunciationGuide: Magnus tries several pronunciations of "Cegorach" and after being told they're all wrong, he gives up and (along with everyone else), just calls him by his title, The Laughing God.
* ScaryLibrarian: Cegorach protects the Black Library of the Eldar. Ahriman eventually found this out the hard way.
* ShoutOut: Cegorach has the same laugh Tim Curry's Pennywise in ''Film/{{It 1990}}'',
* {{Troll}}: Cegorach is the apotheosis of trolldom. He plays Ahriman like a fiddle, and played a part in convincing the C'tan to start eating each other, for kicks as much as strategy. He also menaces Custodisi and Whammudes for absolutely no reason other than it amused him given he was going to let them into the Black Library anyway.
[[/folder]]
!!The Craftworld Eldar/Asuryani
[[folder:Eldrad Ulthran]]
!!Eldrad Ulthran, Chief Farseer of Craftworld Ulthwé
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbWcXB0PoqOsAvAdfzWMf0w Fredrik]] [[WebVideo/DownTheRabbitHole Knudsen]]
-->''This really is not the time for tomfoolery, though. The Despoiler gathers his forces in the Eye... The children of man stir and breathe anew, eons of corrosion shuffled off... And so, with this new era approaching it is time to make our final preparations.''
The most powerful of Farseers among the Eldar, and a de facto leader of their race fond of subtle manipulations to twist the threads of fate in his favor (and against anyone else) as well as the occasional bout of dickishness.
----
* BrutalHonesty: Even when he's not being mystic and being utterly blunt and truthful, he can be a bit of a dick.
-->'''Sylandri Veilwalker:''' Sure thing, Farseer. Let's just hope [[spoiler:Cypher]] isn't a big, bewildering bag of [[InTheHood hooded]] dicks about it.
-->'''Eldrad:''' ''*nonchalantly*'' I am sure he will be.
* CryingWolf: Part of why Vect tells him to shove off is that his whole "Our race is doomed" topic is worn as hell; the Aeldari have been doomed for over ten thousand years already, and he's come up with several "stop this or we die" prophecies and visions during that time, and Eldrad just ''cannot'' get across that this time it's worse than ever.
* {{Leitmotif}}: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKFxAXn1QOQ Eldrad's Theme - The Pathfinder]]
* TheGadfly: While not ''nearly'' as dickish as Vect, since he knows when to drop the act, he's fond of acting utterly mystical and unapproachable to his own people while drowning them in {{Ice Cream Koan}}s and then laughing at their gullibleness, not to mention the things he sets up with his visions of the future when things aren't so dire.
[[/folder]]
!!Dark Eldar/Drukhari
The vile, sadistic, hedonistic breed of Eldar that festers in the subspace cesspit of Commorragh. For millenia they have survived by feeding off of the suffering of others. They are also complete jerks.
----
[[folder:General]]
* BrownNote: Exploited and Invoked. Their geometry, their music, their culture, and their very minds are deliberately mind-breaking to many, as they revel in the act of mind-breaking.
** To them, the very mention of [[TheDreaded Slaanesh]] will literally turn them to ash.
* EmotionEater: They expand their lifespans by devouring fear, pain, agony, misery, and suffering. [[spoiler:The Star Child uses this to his advantage when his overwhelming positive energy literally poisons them.]]
* EvilIsPetty: Apart from being villainous, sadistic, fiendish creatures that feed off of suffering and torture, they're also arrogant jerks.
* PlanetOfHats: An entire star system's worth of vile piratic elven sadists.
* ScrewYouElves: Many jokes are made at their expense, and many other characters insult and sometimes kill some unlucky Drukhari mooks. [[KickTheSonOfABitch Not that they completely don't deserve this.]]
* WretchedHive: Commorragh, a great massive city-state that houses millions of Dark Eldar.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Asdrubael Vect]]
!!Asdrubael Vect, Supreme Overlord of The Dark City
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://twitter.com/SUPERSNAKEKICK Randolph Carter]]
--> ''What!? Oh. One moment, sorry Eldrad, I was not talking to you, I'm-I'm at a [[AFeteWorseThanDeath thing]] right now. We're in the middle of [[BodyHorror pin the tail on the mon-keigh!]]''
Primary holder of political power among the Drukhari, aka the Dark Eldar. Is a dick worse than Eldrad.
----
* BodyHorror: [[spoiler:It really doesn't look pleasant when he is [[ImMelting corroding away under the smothering influence of the Star Child]]]]. He gets better though.
* BornIntoSlavery: [[spoiler:During his chat with the Star-Fyodperor]], he claims that he was a slave at the fall of the Aeldari Empire and only survived being sacrificed due to Slaanesh's birth happening at the exact right time.
* CainAndAbel: The Cain to Eldrad's Abel, but [[ConsummateLiar given who he is]], there's no indication whether they're actually brothers or trolling.
* CardCarryingVillain: He technically needs pain and suffering to live, but like all Dark Eldar he takes incredible glee in doing it and doesn't care about what his kin thinks.
* CheshireCatGrin: Fittingly, Vect is drawn wearing a rather devious smile at all times. [[spoiler:It softens to a peaceful smile while under the Star Child's influence.]]
* EnemyMine: Subverted. Eldrad tries to get him to work for survival of the Eldar, but Vect doesn't care to work with Eldrad, gleefully noting that his foreign policy is to ignore the Eldar.
* EvilLaugh: He's got a good one, that often slips out during his conversation with Eldrad. Can develop into [[UnEvilLaugh a loud coughing fit]] if he does it too hard.
* FauxAffablyEvil: Even more so than Lucius, since he isn't even making TermsOfEndangerment, he's holding a polite conversation while engaged in [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder normal Dark Eldar politics]]. he also speaks to the Star Child in affable terms even while plotting to have him tortured to feed all of Commorragh.
* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: To his credit, he ''resists'' [[spoiler:the Star Child's overwhelming aura of kindness and joy]] pretty well. Keyword being "resists" - he still has to fight against it, leading to ''hilariously'' out-of-character lines like telling [[TortureTechnician Urien Rakarth]] he "did his best :)" followed with him ''immediately'' swapping back to the appropriately Drukhari "no, you have failed me!" through sheer force of will.
* GoodHurtsEvil: [[spoiler:The Star-Child's IncorruptiblePurePureness causes Vect considerable pain and makes him vomit blood, [[ImMelting and eventually he begins to melt into bloody bones]]. This is apparently common to all Dark Eldar, as the city's population quickly starts dying off once the Star Child's aura leaks out of Vect's fortress.]]
** [[spoiler: GoodFeelsGood:]] [[spoiler: And at the same time, Vect describes that this wave of positive emotion is making him truly happy and content with his life, while it is slowly killing him.]]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
* TheHedonist: He's a ''Drukhari'', it's part of the package. Most notably he spends just about all of his screen time to date lazing back while having his servant pour wine into his mouth for him since he can't be assed to get up and do it himself.
* ImMelting: [[spoiler:Prolonged exposure to the Star Child's soul causes Vect and the rest of Commorragh's Dark Eldar population to visibly melt and decay, [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul even as they're overwhelmed by happiness and goodwill]]. By the end, Vect is reduced to gore-covered bones slumped in his throne, barely able to move. However, when Vect finally figures out how to genuinely torment the Star Child by playing on his compassion, feeding on a god's suffering instantly returns him to perfect health.]]
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: The only time his polite facade fades is when Eldrad talks about [[spoiler:Ynnead]].
-->'''Vect:''' ...''you blithering codger''. You actually mean to tell me that old fairy tale has got you all up in arms AGAIN!? [[INeedAFreakingDrink Another drink]]. ''Now, please''.
** He also shifts to shocked anger and confusion when [[spoiler:the Star Child states that his plan to hold off Slaanesh by torturing his soul is actually benevolent.]]
* RedemptionRejection: Of a sort. [[spoiler: As he was dying from the [[GoodHurtsEvil sensation of genuine affection and friendship emanating from the Star Child]], [[GoodFeelsGood he seemed as if he was actually comfortable and truly happy, perhaps for the first time in millennia]]. However, he eventually finds out that he can take advantage of the Star Child's weakness: exploiting his compassion by revealing that his comrades are facing certain doom. The resulting emanations of the Star Child's inner pain revives Vect instantly.]]
* SpikesOfVillainy: He wears the typical high fashion of Commorragh, which may well be the spikiest place in the Webway. As highlighted by Eldrad:
-->'''Eldrad:''' Listen, Vect. ''Listen''. I ''hate'' you. I hate you, and your stupid spiky city, and your stupid spiky hat ''so'' much.
* ThatMakesMeFeelAngry: Due to the fact that his FauxAffablyEvil nature is combined with being high off of the best Dark Eldar drugs imaginable, the only indication that he is ''absolutely livid'' with Eldrad is when he has to tell the Farseer how angry he is. Even then, it's coming through in cheery, drug-addled tones because Vect is ''just that high''.
* {{Troll}}: More so than [[TheGadfly Eldrad]], who knows when to get serious. Vect just trolls and trolls.
* WhatIsThisFeeling: [[spoiler: The Star Child's genuine insinuations that Vect might have a bit of altruistic good in him is so shocking and confusing that it causes Vect physical pain.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lady Malys]]
!!Lady Aurelia Malys, Archon of the Kabal of the Poisoned Tongue
-->'''Voiced by:''' [[https://twitter.com/AcolyteNaerina Naerina]]
--> ''Vect is clearly planning something tonight, and I am not one to let his plans go unhindered.''
One of the most successful Archons of the Drukhari and a rival to Asdrubael Vect.
----
* BerserkButton: Does not appreciate any references to her past relationship with Vect.
* CombatHandFan: Carries a razor-edged steel fan in her left hand.
* CoolMask: Wears an ornate mask on the left side of her face.
* DramaQueen: Is given to histrionics on hearing of a possible Daemon invasion.
* EvenEvilHasStandards: As cruel as she is, even she thinks that breaking open Khaine's Gate to let in a horde of daemons just to attack political rivals (something which she mistakenly thinks Vect is responsible for) is a ''terrible'' idea.
* FrenchJerk: Speaks in a thick French accent, complete with "hon hon hon" laughter. [[spoiler: She's also in cahoots with another FrenchJerk, ''Cegorach.'']]
* LadyOfWar: She decides to lead the Kabal (i.e. her army of warriors) personally after realizing that Asdrubel Vect is up to no good.
* NightmareFace: When [[spoiler: Cegorach's]] influence makes itself known she gains a horrifying SlasherSmile and the eyepiece of her mask turns into ''an actual eye.''
* SpikesOfVillainy: Her corset and the puffy shoulders of her dress are spiky.
%%% Zero Context
%%%* TheStarscream: To Vect.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tahril]]
!!Tahril, Former Archon of the Kabal of the Black Heart
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/thunderpsyker ThunderPsyker]]
--> ''At once, my most frightening - and highly replaceable - lady...''
An ex-Archon of Asdrubael Vect's Kabal, and currently an underling to Lady Malys.
----
* CoolHelmet: An enormous conical open-faced helm topped with bladed horns and a screaming head.
* TheDragon: Serves as one to Lady Malys, though judging from his comments he's only doing so because he's being punished for botching the Kaurava Campaign and he's ''not'' happy about it. [[spoiler:In truth, he is this to The Deceiver as the only (known) agent carrying out The Deceiver's plans.]]
* EvilSoundsRaspy: He speaks in a low, raspy voice.
* RedOniBlueOni: He is the Blue Oni to Lady Malys's Red Oni, being more calm and reserved.
* SparedByTheAdaptation: He canonically got his ass beat by Gorgutz in the [[VideoGame/DawnOfWar Kaurava Campaign]], though in this canon he survived and was DemotedToDragon, presumably as a punishment for such an enormous military failure and his [[TheStarscream ambitions of overthrowing Vect.]]
* TheStarscream: Is apparently still one of these, judging by his under-his-breath comment about how easily replaceable Lady Malys is.
* ShouldersOfDoom: His pauldrons make him twice as broad as he is normally.
%%%* WolverineClaws: On his left hand.
[[/folder]]
Every spoiler up to episode 25 (the last episode before the podcasts and spinoffs start) is left unmarked.Click [[Characters/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice here]] to return to the main character page.\\\
[[foldercontrol]]
!!Gods of the Eldar
Three Eldar gods survived the birth of Slaanesh: Isha, the goddess of healing; Cegorach, the Laughing God; and Khaine, the god of war, who has been shattered into countless shards of essence (though that doesn't stop him from using Spacebook and [[IntergenerationalFriendship being Khorne's gym buddy]]). Thus far, all three seem to be considerably more level-headed than the rest of the galaxy.
----
[[folder:General]]
* FriendlyEnemy: Strictly speaking, the Eldar gods are the enemies of Chaos. Isha still has a happy relationship with Nurgle, and Khaine and Khorne are gym buddies.
* GrumpyOldMan: Khaine is the oldest god still in existence, and has little patience with the antics of those Chaos whippersnappers.
* IntergenerationalFriendship: [[FriendlyEnemy Sort of]] with Khaine and Khorne. Khaine is a ''much'' older god than Khorne, but they have an amicable relationship, with Khorne being respectful of him (as a berserker WarGod like him can allow) and okay with accompanying him during "leg day".
* MindHive: Presumably Khaine survived in a state similar to the Emperor's, with one central ego and a plethora of lesser soul shards.
* NiceGirl: Isha is sensitive, considerate, and all around pleasant to everyone but Slaanesh. She certainly has her reasons.
[[/folder]]
----
[[folder:Cegorach, the Laughing God]]
[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/cegorach_fullbody.png]]
----
* BerserkButton: Unless you're [[MemeticBadass Ephrael Stern]] levels of strong, don't badmouth Cegorach's Harlequins. He's already bad news even in a good mood, and he will plot your demise if you so much as take a dig at them or their material.
* CreepyGood: Cegorach is without question one of the most terrifying beings shown in the entirety of the series, with attitudes ranging from nightmarishly humorous (his default mood) to ''utterly menacing.'' That being said, all of his malicious actions have been directed to AssholeVictims like the C'Tan, Ahriman, and dangerous Space Marine chapters, all of whom could cause unspeakable damage on a planetary if not ''galactic'' scale if left unchecked. While he does toy around with Custodisi and Whammudes for shits and giggles, he doesn't do anything to actually harm them and even lets them into the Black Library (though it's ambiguous whether he mistook them for Solitaries or if he actually knew who they were from the beginning and simply let them in cause they were Custodes like Kitten).
* FrenchJerk: Cegorach has a notably thick French accent due to his voice actor Failsnake being French. He's also a massive {{Troll}} who enjoys either antagonizing or messing with anyone who comes to the Black Library. He also collaborated with The Deceiver to bait it's fellow C'tan into warring among themselves and almost driving themselves to total extinction, seemingly [[BecauseItAmusedMe for giggles.]]
* {{Leitmotif}}: Cegorach has [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzWsLaolyLw Prime Clown]], a whimsically menacing accordion tune that manages to override the Intro theme (before ending with a ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' ShoutOut).
* MonsterClown: Cegorach, with his odd mismatched clothes and eternal SlasherSmile. Most of his malicious actions have been directed to AssholeVictims such as Ahriman and the C'Tan, who kinda deserved what was coming to them, but he's also used his appearance and creepiness to terrify Whammudes and Custodisi as well. Although arguably Whammudes and Custodisi are also AssholeVictims based on how they treat Kitten.
** It makes sence since Ahriman and C'Tan are galactic-scale threats and Custodes are [[JerkJock Jerk Jocks]] at worst.
* NoPronunciationGuide: Magnus tries several pronunciations of "Cegorach" and after being told they're all wrong, he gives up and (along with everyone else), just calls him by his title, The Laughing God.
* ScaryLibrarian: Cegorach protects the Black Library of the Eldar. Ahriman eventually found this out the hard way.
* ShoutOut: Cegorach has the same laugh Tim Curry's Pennywise in ''Film/{{It 1990}}'',
* {{Troll}}: Cegorach is the apotheosis of trolldom. He plays Ahriman like a fiddle, and played a part in convincing the C'tan to start eating each other, for kicks as much as strategy. He also menaces Custodisi and Whammudes for absolutely no reason other than it amused him given he was going to let them into the Black Library anyway.
[[/folder]]
!!The Craftworld Eldar/Asuryani
[[folder:Eldrad Ulthran]]
!!Eldrad Ulthran, Chief Farseer of Craftworld Ulthwé
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbWcXB0PoqOsAvAdfzWMf0w Fredrik]] [[WebVideo/DownTheRabbitHole Knudsen]]
-->''This really is not the time for tomfoolery, though. The Despoiler gathers his forces in the Eye... The children of man stir and breathe anew, eons of corrosion shuffled off... And so, with this new era approaching it is time to make our final preparations.''
The most powerful of Farseers among the Eldar, and a de facto leader of their race fond of subtle manipulations to twist the threads of fate in his favor (and against anyone else) as well as the occasional bout of dickishness.
----
* BrutalHonesty: Even when he's not being mystic and being utterly blunt and truthful, he can be a bit of a dick.
-->'''Sylandri Veilwalker:''' Sure thing, Farseer. Let's just hope [[spoiler:Cypher]] isn't a big, bewildering bag of [[InTheHood hooded]] dicks about it.
-->'''Eldrad:''' ''*nonchalantly*'' I am sure he will be.
* CryingWolf: Part of why Vect tells him to shove off is that his whole "Our race is doomed" topic is worn as hell; the Aeldari have been doomed for over ten thousand years already, and he's come up with several "stop this or we die" prophecies and visions during that time, and Eldrad just ''cannot'' get across that this time it's worse than ever.
* {{Leitmotif}}: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKFxAXn1QOQ Eldrad's Theme - The Pathfinder]]
* TheGadfly: While not ''nearly'' as dickish as Vect, since he knows when to drop the act, he's fond of acting utterly mystical and unapproachable to his own people while drowning them in {{Ice Cream Koan}}s and then laughing at their gullibleness, not to mention the things he sets up with his visions of the future when things aren't so dire.
[[/folder]]
!!Dark Eldar/Drukhari
The vile, sadistic, hedonistic breed of Eldar that festers in the subspace cesspit of Commorragh. For millenia they have survived by feeding off of the suffering of others. They are also complete jerks.
----
[[folder:General]]
* BrownNote: Exploited and Invoked. Their geometry, their music, their culture, and their very minds are deliberately mind-breaking to many, as they revel in the act of mind-breaking.
** To them, the very mention of [[TheDreaded Slaanesh]] will literally turn them to ash.
* EmotionEater: They expand their lifespans by devouring fear, pain, agony, misery, and suffering. [[spoiler:The Star Child uses this to his advantage when his overwhelming positive energy literally poisons them.]]
* EvilIsPetty: Apart from being villainous, sadistic, fiendish creatures that feed off of suffering and torture, they're also arrogant jerks.
* PlanetOfHats: An entire star system's worth of vile piratic elven sadists.
* ScrewYouElves: Many jokes are made at their expense, and many other characters insult and sometimes kill some unlucky Drukhari mooks. [[KickTheSonOfABitch Not that they completely don't deserve this.]]
* WretchedHive: Commorragh, a great massive city-state that houses millions of Dark Eldar.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Asdrubael Vect]]
!!Asdrubael Vect, Supreme Overlord of The Dark City
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://twitter.com/SUPERSNAKEKICK Randolph Carter]]
--> ''What!? Oh. One moment, sorry Eldrad, I was not talking to you, I'm-I'm at a [[AFeteWorseThanDeath thing]] right now. We're in the middle of [[BodyHorror pin the tail on the mon-keigh!]]''
Primary holder of political power among the Drukhari, aka the Dark Eldar. Is a dick worse than Eldrad.
----
* BodyHorror: [[spoiler:It really doesn't look pleasant when he is [[ImMelting corroding away under the smothering influence of the Star Child]]]]. He gets better though.
* BornIntoSlavery: [[spoiler:During his chat with the Star-Fyodperor]], he claims that he was a slave at the fall of the Aeldari Empire and only survived being sacrificed due to Slaanesh's birth happening at the exact right time.
* CainAndAbel: The Cain to Eldrad's Abel, but [[ConsummateLiar given who he is]], there's no indication whether they're actually brothers or trolling.
* CardCarryingVillain: He technically needs pain and suffering to live, but like all Dark Eldar he takes incredible glee in doing it and doesn't care about what his kin thinks.
* CheshireCatGrin: Fittingly, Vect is drawn wearing a rather devious smile at all times. [[spoiler:It softens to a peaceful smile while under the Star Child's influence.]]
* EnemyMine: Subverted. Eldrad tries to get him to work for survival of the Eldar, but Vect doesn't care to work with Eldrad, gleefully noting that his foreign policy is to ignore the Eldar.
* EvilLaugh: He's got a good one, that often slips out during his conversation with Eldrad. Can develop into [[UnEvilLaugh a loud coughing fit]] if he does it too hard.
* FauxAffablyEvil: Even more so than Lucius, since he isn't even making TermsOfEndangerment, he's holding a polite conversation while engaged in [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder normal Dark Eldar politics]]. he also speaks to the Star Child in affable terms even while plotting to have him tortured to feed all of Commorragh.
* GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul: To his credit, he ''resists'' [[spoiler:the Star Child's overwhelming aura of kindness and joy]] pretty well. Keyword being "resists" - he still has to fight against it, leading to ''hilariously'' out-of-character lines like telling [[TortureTechnician Urien Rakarth]] he "did his best :)" followed with him ''immediately'' swapping back to the appropriately Drukhari "no, you have failed me!" through sheer force of will.
* GoodHurtsEvil: [[spoiler:The Star-Child's IncorruptiblePurePureness causes Vect considerable pain and makes him vomit blood, [[ImMelting and eventually he begins to melt into bloody bones]]. This is apparently common to all Dark Eldar, as the city's population quickly starts dying off once the Star Child's aura leaks out of Vect's fortress.]]
** [[spoiler: GoodFeelsGood:]] [[spoiler: And at the same time, Vect describes that this wave of positive emotion is making him truly happy and content with his life, while it is slowly killing him.]]
--> [[spoiler: ''Despite the all-consuming pain, I have never been better.'']]
* TheHedonist: He's a ''Drukhari'', it's part of the package. Most notably he spends just about all of his screen time to date lazing back while having his servant pour wine into his mouth for him since he can't be assed to get up and do it himself.
* ImMelting: [[spoiler:Prolonged exposure to the Star Child's soul causes Vect and the rest of Commorragh's Dark Eldar population to visibly melt and decay, [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul even as they're overwhelmed by happiness and goodwill]]. By the end, Vect is reduced to gore-covered bones slumped in his throne, barely able to move. However, when Vect finally figures out how to genuinely torment the Star Child by playing on his compassion, feeding on a god's suffering instantly returns him to perfect health.]]
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: The only time his polite facade fades is when Eldrad talks about [[spoiler:Ynnead]].
-->'''Vect:''' ...''you blithering codger''. You actually mean to tell me that old fairy tale has got you all up in arms AGAIN!? [[INeedAFreakingDrink Another drink]]. ''Now, please''.
** He also shifts to shocked anger and confusion when [[spoiler:the Star Child states that his plan to hold off Slaanesh by torturing his soul is actually benevolent.]]
* RedemptionRejection: Of a sort. [[spoiler: As he was dying from the [[GoodHurtsEvil sensation of genuine affection and friendship emanating from the Star Child]], [[GoodFeelsGood he seemed as if he was actually comfortable and truly happy, perhaps for the first time in millennia]]. However, he eventually finds out that he can take advantage of the Star Child's weakness: exploiting his compassion by revealing that his comrades are facing certain doom. The resulting emanations of the Star Child's inner pain revives Vect instantly.]]
* SpikesOfVillainy: He wears the typical high fashion of Commorragh, which may well be the spikiest place in the Webway. As highlighted by Eldrad:
-->'''Eldrad:''' Listen, Vect. ''Listen''. I ''hate'' you. I hate you, and your stupid spiky city, and your stupid spiky hat ''so'' much.
* ThatMakesMeFeelAngry: Due to the fact that his FauxAffablyEvil nature is combined with being high off of the best Dark Eldar drugs imaginable, the only indication that he is ''absolutely livid'' with Eldrad is when he has to tell the Farseer how angry he is. Even then, it's coming through in cheery, drug-addled tones because Vect is ''just that high''.
* {{Troll}}: More so than [[TheGadfly Eldrad]], who knows when to get serious. Vect just trolls and trolls.
* WhatIsThisFeeling: [[spoiler: The Star Child's genuine insinuations that Vect might have a bit of altruistic good in him is so shocking and confusing that it causes Vect physical pain.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Lady Malys]]
!!Lady Aurelia Malys, Archon of the Kabal of the Poisoned Tongue
-->'''Voiced by:''' [[https://twitter.com/AcolyteNaerina Naerina]]
--> ''Vect is clearly planning something tonight, and I am not one to let his plans go unhindered.''
One of the most successful Archons of the Drukhari and a rival to Asdrubael Vect.
----
* BerserkButton: Does not appreciate any references to her past relationship with Vect.
* CombatHandFan: Carries a razor-edged steel fan in her left hand.
* CoolMask: Wears an ornate mask on the left side of her face.
* DramaQueen: Is given to histrionics on hearing of a possible Daemon invasion.
* EvenEvilHasStandards: As cruel as she is, even she thinks that breaking open Khaine's Gate to let in a horde of daemons just to attack political rivals (something which she mistakenly thinks Vect is responsible for) is a ''terrible'' idea.
* FrenchJerk: Speaks in a thick French accent, complete with "hon hon hon" laughter. [[spoiler: She's also in cahoots with another FrenchJerk, ''Cegorach.'']]
* LadyOfWar: She decides to lead the Kabal (i.e. her army of warriors) personally after realizing that Asdrubel Vect is up to no good.
* NightmareFace: When [[spoiler: Cegorach's]] influence makes itself known she gains a horrifying SlasherSmile and the eyepiece of her mask turns into ''an actual eye.''
* SpikesOfVillainy: Her corset and the puffy shoulders of her dress are spiky.
%%% Zero Context
%%%* TheStarscream: To Vect.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Tahril]]
!!Tahril, Former Archon of the Kabal of the Black Heart
--> '''Voiced by:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/thunderpsyker ThunderPsyker]]
--> ''At once, my most frightening - and highly replaceable - lady...''
An ex-Archon of Asdrubael Vect's Kabal, and currently an underling to Lady Malys.
----
* CoolHelmet: An enormous conical open-faced helm topped with bladed horns and a screaming head.
* TheDragon: Serves as one to Lady Malys, though judging from his comments he's only doing so because he's being punished for botching the Kaurava Campaign and he's ''not'' happy about it. [[spoiler:In truth, he is this to The Deceiver as the only (known) agent carrying out The Deceiver's plans.]]
* EvilSoundsRaspy: He speaks in a low, raspy voice.
* RedOniBlueOni: He is the Blue Oni to Lady Malys's Red Oni, being more calm and reserved.
* SparedByTheAdaptation: He canonically got his ass beat by Gorgutz in the [[VideoGame/DawnOfWar Kaurava Campaign]], though in this canon he survived and was DemotedToDragon, presumably as a punishment for such an enormous military failure and his [[TheStarscream ambitions of overthrowing Vect.]]
* TheStarscream: Is apparently still one of these, judging by his under-his-breath comment about how easily replaceable Lady Malys is.
* ShouldersOfDoom: His pauldrons make him twice as broad as he is normally.
%%%* WolverineClaws: On his left hand.
[[/folder]]
