History Blog / HowToWriteBadlyWell

* {{Narm}}:[[invoked]] [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/fail-to-see-funny-side.html "Fail to see the funny side"]] warns you against making your drama unintentionally funny. The sample passage tries to be a drama about the main character learning that he has a DreamCrushingHandicap, but it's hard to take seriously when it's in the form of an illness with symptoms like [[ToiletHumor uncontrollable farting]]. It doesn't help that his name sounds like "bum gale" (an UnusualEuphemism for farts) or that he reacts to the news with "I could feel the ''bottom'' falling out of my world" and excuses himself (which just makes you wonder if he has to run to the toilet).

* LongTitle: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/cram-as-much-information-and-detail.html "Cram as much information and detail into the title as you can, even if this means sacrificing the readability of said title and somewhat stealing the thunder of the main body of the work itself, which is left only really being able to reiterate what has already been said in the title, which was itself clumsy and repetitious."]]

* CoitusEnsues: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/if-in-doubt-initiate-sex.html "If in doubt, initiate sex."]]

* CantTakeCriticism: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/11/regard-editorial-input-as-personal.html "Regard editorial input as a personal attack."]] "Penny Scriber"'s reply to their editor starts with "Dear Dream-Crusher" and goes downhill from there.

* OmnidisciplinaryScientist: Dr. Billingsworth of [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/08/write-outside-your-comfort-zone.html "Write outside your comfort zone"]] is highly accomplished in physics, geology, biology, mathematics, and even literature. His feats in these fields have [[CriticalResearchFailure absolutely no relation to reality]].

* PlotInducedStupidity: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/sacrifice-motivation-for-sake-of.html "Sacrifice motivation for the sake of plotting."]]

* ArtisticLicenseReligion: PlayedForLaughs with Grobian Orthodox Heresy. They conclude not that god or the gods either don't exist or don't care after their prayers go unanswered, but that he/she/they are so impressed by humanity that they don't want to spoil the show by intervening. The enforcement of morals stems not from fear of eternal punishment, but from not wanting to disapoint their fan/s.

* CantTakeCriticism: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/11/regard-editorial-input-as-personal.html "Regard editorial input as a personal attack."]]

* ContemplateOurNavels: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/02/take-yourself-too-seriously.html "Take yourself far too seriously."]]

* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/06/explain-how-clever-you-are.html "Explain how clever you are."]] Why say "walking down the street" when you can say "perambulating unassumingly along the boulevard"? And that's just the first 5% of the first sentence.

* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/06/explain-how-clever-you-are.html "Explain how clever you are."]] Why say "walking down the street" when you can say "perambulating unassumingly along the boulevard"? And that's just the first sentence.

* BecauseDestinySaysSo: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/use-fate-as-plot-device.html "Use 'fate' as a plot device."]]

* BeautyEqualsGoodness: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/equate-physical-beauty-with-virtue.html "Equate physical beauty with virtue."]]

* AuthorTract: "[[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/subtly-weave-your-own-opinions-into.html Subtly weave your own opinions into the narrative."]] The protagonist of the story has just come home one evening to find a bloody corpse in her front hall. Meanwhile, the hypothetical bad author is busy pointing out insignificant details that obviously map onto minor inconveniences in their own life (the streetlights come on too late these days, you can't find an effective carpet shampoo anymore, etc.).

* AuthorTract: "[[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/subtly-weave-your-own-opinions-into.html Subtly weave your own opinions into the narrative."]]

* DesignatedHero: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/10/emphasise-your-heros-good-qualities.html "Emphasise your hero's good qualities."]] Each of the king's flaws or evil deeds gets a positive spin. Overtaxing his subjects? He needs that money to make his kingdom the best! Drinking too much? He's returning some of that tax money to the winemakers! Executing innocent people on trumped-up charges? He's keeping the kingdom safe! And so on.

* ArtisticLicenseReligion: PlayedForLaughs with Grobian Orthodox Heresy.

* HobbesWasRight: Averted. Hobbes is the cameo in "[[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/06/historical-fiction-week-3-cater-for.html Cater for Cameos". The characters think he's a tool.

* {{Asspull}}:

* ShockingSwerve: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/01/end-with-twist-no-reader-could.html "End with a twist no reader could have reasonably foreseen."]]

* DysfunctionJunction: Parodied, and perhaps subverted, in [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/give-every-character-tragic-backstory.html "Give every character a tragic backstory"]]. The four characters have quite an assortment of {{DarkAndTroubledPast}}s (rape, crippling injuries, suicidal depression, dead family, cult abuse...), but they don't seem particularly angsty about it in the moment, aside from their word choices in Scrabble.