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1''[[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/ How To Write Badly Well]]'' is a blog of writing snippets written by Joel Stickley. Each snippet is an attempt to [[StylisticSuck exemplify]] some particular form of {{writing pitfall|Index}}.
2
3The blog started in 2009 and was last updated in 2014. Stickly also wrote a spin-off book, ''100 Ways to Write Badly Well'', which contained "both the best bits of [the] blog and all-new material." It was published in 2012.
4
5----
6!!Tropes used or criticized include:
7
8* AccidentalInnuendo: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/08/blunder-into-double-entendres.html "Blunder into double entendres."]]. It starts with a butcher named Richard (a.k.a. ''Dick'') displaying his ''sausage'', and goes on from there.
9* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/abuse-alliteration.html "Abuse alliteration"]] is an entire paragraph where every single word begins with the letters "CH". And they're not even all pronounced the same, which just makes it worse.
10* AndThenWhat: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/make-your-villain-genuinely-evil.html Lord Plunderfall]] hasn't really thought out what he'll do if he wins, it seems.
11* ArtisticLicenseReligion: PlayedForLaughs with Grobian Orthodox Heresy. They conclude not that god or the gods either don't exist or don't care after their prayers go unanswered, but that he/she/they are so impressed by humanity that they don't want to spoil the show by intervening. The enforcement of morals stems not from fear of eternal punishment, but from not wanting to disappoint their fan/s.
12* AssPull: [[invoked]]
13** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/write-yourself-out-of-corner.html "Write yourself out of a corner."]]
14** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2009/12/introduce-major-plot-elements-in-off.html "Introduce Plot Elements In An Off-Hand Manner."]]
15** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/01/end-with-twist-no-reader-could.html "End with a twist no reader could have reasonably foreseen."]]
16* AuthorAvatar: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/write-thinly-veiled-self-aggrandising.html "Write thinly-veiled, self-aggrandising autobiographical fiction]]." Our protagonist, "Joe Stockley", is a wealthy, brilliant, and widely-admired writer with an adoring wife.
17* AuthorTract: "[[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/subtly-weave-your-own-opinions-into.html Subtly weave your own opinions into the narrative."]] The protagonist of the story comes home one evening to find a bloody corpse in her front hall. Meanwhile, the hypothetical bad author is busy pointing out insignificant details that obviously map onto minor inconveniences in their own life (the streetlights come on too late these days, you can't find an effective carpet shampoo anymore, etc.), which they blame on "environmental pressure groups".
18* AuthorVocabularyCalendar: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/if-you-find-phrase-you-like-keep.html "If you find a phrase you like, keep repeating it."]]
19* BalanceBetweenGoodAndEvil: Mocked in [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/01/base-your-plot-on-unsupported.html?m=1 "Base your plot on unsupported assertions"]]. When the protagonist asks what's actually wrong with having ''all'' good and ''no'' evil, his mentor can't come up with an answer.
20* BeautyEqualsGoodness: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/equate-physical-beauty-with-virtue.html "Equate physical beauty with virtue"]], which exaggerates the trope to the point of discomfort. The accused double-agent has a bad moustache, pimples, a cleft lip, a "malformed hand", and a "withered leg". And then the contrastingly-handsome hero explicitly says that he "should have known never to trust someone so ugly". ''Yeesh.''
21* BecauseDestinySaysSo: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/use-fate-as-plot-device.html "Use 'fate' as a plot device."]] Two normal office workers agree that David was objectively the worst candidate to interview for the marketing job. But they decide to hire him anyway, because "it's his destiny" and they don't want to derail his "personal plot arc".
22* BigRedDevil: Hitler-1 in the "Take the mad scientist archetype to its logical conclusion" video, is described as being "20-foot tall, wreathed in flame with wings made of Midnight, [[GoodHairEvilHair with a funny little moustache because some things never change."]]
23* BeigeProse: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/narrate-every-scene-in-matter-of-fact.html "Narrate every scene in a matter-of-fact tone, no matter how exciting."]]
24* BlackComedy: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/make-light-of-tragedy.html "Make light of tragedy."]]
25* BurlyDetectiveSyndrome: Parodied in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/02/refuse-to-give-names-to-characters.html 'Refuse to Give Names to Characters']].
26-->''"Well make them quickly," interrupted a tall man with shining eyes. This was not the same tall man with glinting eyes who had so far been conducting the conversation, but a new, even taller man with eyes that shone rather than glinted, who had just disembarked behind the two figures already standing on the dock.''
27* ButtMonkey: [[ExaggeratedTrope Exaggerated]] in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/02/choose-one-character-to-bully.html "Choose one character to bully."]]
28* CallARabbitASmeerp: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/sci-fi-week-1-replace-real-life-items.html "Replace real-life items with fictional alternatives."]]
29* CantTakeCriticism: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/11/regard-editorial-input-as-personal.html "Regard editorial input as a personal attack."]] Penny Scriber's reply to their editor starts with "Dear Dream-Crusher" and only goes downhill from there.
30* CaptainSpaceDefenderOfEarth: Captain Dash Gallant, who appears in several posts. He's incredibly handsome, an ace starfighter pilot, a master of Space-Zen, and he knows his way around a bottle of Hoertellian Spurg. He and his [[RobotBuddy adorable robot sidekick]] spend most of their time fighting a race of AlwaysChaoticEvil aliens called the [[PunnyName Mhal-Evol’Unt]].
31* CharacterDerailment: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/suddenly-change-characters-motivations.html "Suddenly change characters' motivations."]]
32* TheChrisCarterEffect: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/refuse-to-resolve-mysteries.html "Refuse to resolve mysteries."]]
33* ClicheStorm: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/treat-genre-as-replacement-for-ideas.html "Treat genre as a replacement for ideas."]]
34* ContemplateOurNavels: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/02/take-yourself-too-seriously.html "Take yourself far too seriously."]] and [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/10/literary-fiction-week-3-ask-difficult.html "Ask the difficult questions."]]
35* CreatorBreakdown: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/write-as-therapy.html "Write as therapy."]]
36* CureForCancer: Shows up, as a part of another trope (where the DesignatedVillain is working on one just to put a charity out of business), but not discussed itself.
37* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/02/include-unnecessary-linguistic.html "Include unnecessary linguistic redundancies of language."]]
38* DesignatedHero: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/10/emphasise-your-heros-good-qualities.html "Emphasise your hero's good qualities."]] Each of the king's flaws or evil deeds gets a positive spin. Overtaxing his subjects? He needs that money to make his kingdom the best! Drinking too much? He's returning some of that tax money to the winemakers! Executing innocent people on trumped-up charges? He's keeping the kingdom safe! Raping a maid? He's just a romantic at heart!
39* DesignatedVillain: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/10/emphasise-your-villains-bad-qualities.html "Emphasise your villian's bad qualities."]] Admittedly, Doctor Slithingly has many of the ''mannerisms'' of a MadScientist; he alternately [[GigglingVillain giggles]] and [[EvilLaugh "bwahaha"s]] while [[HandRubbing rubbing his hands together]] and [[EvilGloating gloating]] over his imminent victory. But mannerisms are not actions, and the narrator's attempt to frame a ''cure for leukaemia'' as evil (because it puts charities out of business, hurts doctors' incomes, etc.) falls rather flat.
40* DeusExMachina: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/write-yourself-out-of-corner.html "Write yourself out of a corner."]]
41* DysfunctionJunction: Parodied, and perhaps subverted, in [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/give-every-character-tragic-backstory.html "Give every character a tragic backstory"]]. The four characters have quite an assortment of {{Dark And Troubled Past}}s (rape, crippling injuries, suicidal depression, dead family, cult abuse...), but they don't seem particularly angsty about it in the moment, aside from their word choices in Scrabble.
42* EmpathicEnvironment: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/begin-your-novel-with-protagonist.html "Begin the novel with your protagonist getting out of bed and seeing that it is raining outside, which perfectly mirrors his life."]]
43* FeaturelessPlaneOfDisembodiedDialogue: Parodied in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/do-not-contextualise-dialogue.html "Do not contextualise dialogue."]] It's nearly impossible for the reader to figure out who said what, or even how many characters there are, but it rises to an absurd level when the characters themselves lose track (despite all being in the same room).
44* FillerStrip: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/rely-on-unsolicited-submissions.html "Rely on unsolicited submissions."]]
45* FirstPersonPeripheralNarrator: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/choose-narrator-who-is-peripheral-to.html "Choose a narrator who is peripheral to the story."]] Parodied in that the narrator doesn't actually ''know'' the story: he's only acquainted with one of the two key characters, he has no idea what their relationship with each other is like, and he's not entirely sure what they argued about.
46* ForegoneConclusion: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/07/risk-narrators-life.html "Risk the narrator's life."]] The FramingDevice makes the Conclusion even more Foregone than usual: the narrator is explicitly recounting the tale of his "absolutely certain death" to a friend in the comfort of his own home, long after the fact.
47* FunetikAksent: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/give-your-characters-distinctive-idioms.html "Give your characters distinctive idioms."]]
48* GenericDoomsdayVillain: Lord Plunder in "[[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/make-your-villain-genuinely-evil.html Make your villain genuinely evil]]". He tells the heroes that he wants to destroy the world and all humanity simply because he is "pure evil" and "a force of pure malignancy". The heroes reply that this sounds "a bit improbable" and "not all that convincing as a motive", which troubles him greatly because he can't find a counterargument.
49* GoshDangItToHeck: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/censor-your-characters.html "Censor your characters."]] The post would be a ClusterFBomb but for the substitutions. Some of the replacement words are more or less conventional ("flipping", "forget", and "fudge"), but they get stranger as the passage continues ("flaking"? ''"flouncing"?'').
50* HobbesWasRight: Averted. Hobbes is the cameo in "[[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/06/historical-fiction-week-3-cater-for.html Cater for Cameos]]". The characters think he's a tool.
51* HistoricalDomainCharacter: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/06/historical-fiction-week-3-cater-for.html "Cater for cameos."]]
52* IdiotBall: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/03/sacrifice-motivation-for-sake-of.html "Sacrifice motivation for the sake of plotting."]]
53* InfoDump: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/sci-fi-week-2-explain-everything.html "Explain everything."]]
54* LawOfConservationOfDetail: {{Inverted}} in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2010/06/describe-wrong-things.html "Describe the Wrong Things."]]
55* MadScientist: The "Designated Villain" example is one trying to cure cancer, specifically in order to render cancer charities and certain doctors out of a job, and stop cancer patient survival biographies/memoirs/whathaveyou from being written.
56* MeaningfulName: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/sci-fi-week-3-give-your-characters.html "Give your characters evocative names."]]
57* MeaninglessMeaningfulWords: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/select-words-for-their-impressiveness.html "Select words for their impressiveness rather than their relevance."]]
58* MillsAndBoonProse: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/replace-concrete-nouns-with-abstract.html "Replace concrete nouns with abstract ones."]]
59* MixedMetaphor: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/mix-metaphors.html "Mix metaphors."]]
60* {{Mockumentary}}: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2012/11/the-history-of-grob-01.html History]] [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2012/11/the-history-of-grob-02.html of]] [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2012/12/if-you-cant-use-embedded-player-above.html Grob]]
61--> "...I’m trying my hand at something new. For the most part, this blog has focused on the bad writing of fiction – implausible plot twists, awkward turns of phrase, unconvincing characters and so on. Meanwhile, non-fiction has got off all too lightly. It’s time to do something about that."
62* MostWritersAreWriters: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/write-to-prove-point.html "Write to prove a point"]], where the protagonist has just slaughtered all the employees of the literary agency that kept rejecting his manuscripts.
63* {{Narm}}:[[invoked]] [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/fail-to-see-funny-side.html "Fail to see the funny side"]] warns you against making your drama unintentionally funny. The sample passage tries to be a drama about the main character learning that he has a DreamCrushingHandicap, but it's hard to take seriously when it's in the form of a disorder with symptoms like [[ToiletHumor uncontrollable farting]]. It doesn't help that his name sounds like "bum gale" (an UnusualEuphemism for farts) or that he reacts to the news with "I could feel the ''bottom'' falling out of my world" and excuses himself (which just makes you wonder if he has to run to the toilet).
64* NarratingTheObvious: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/when-writing-radio-drama-use-dialogue.html "When writing radio drama, use dialogue to set the scene."]]
65* NotUsingTheZWord: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/08/beat-around-bush.html "Beat around the bush."]] The doctor and patient discuss most of the usual symptoms and characteristics (hair growth, aggression, and aversion to silver, all linked to the full moon) without ever using the word [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent "werewolf"]].
66* NoNameGiven: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/refuse-to-give-names-to-characters.html "Refuse to give names to characters."]]
67* ObviouslyEvil: A [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2014/08/take-mad-scientist-archetype-to-its.html video on Mad Scientists]] purports that, [[HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct perhaps Hitler's been killed so many times]] that the "psychotic failed artist" Hitler was only a "pale shadow" of a BigRedDevil with a toothbrush moustache, and he'll eventually degenerate to a harmless old man painting shitty watercolors.
68* OmnidisciplinaryScientist: Dr. Billingsworth of [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/08/write-outside-your-comfort-zone.html "Write outside your comfort zone"]] is highly accomplished in physics, geology, biology, mathematics, and even literature. His feats in these fields have absolutely no relation to reality.
69* OnlyTheAuthorCanSaveThemNow: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/write-yourself-into-corner.html "Write yourself into a corner."]]
70* {{Parody}}: The [[strike:Homage Week]]Non-Contiguous Homage Fortnight, which includes stylistic parodies of:
71** Literature/TheBible: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/non-contiguous-homage-fortnight-10-try.html here.]]
72** Creator/RaymondChandler: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/homage-week-4-try-too-hard-to-be.html here.]]
73** Creator/CharlesDickens: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/non-contiguous-homage-fortnight-6-try.html here.]]
74** Creator/ErnestHemingway: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/homage-week-1-try-too-hard-to-be-ernest.html here.]]
75** Creator/JamesJoyce: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/homage-week-3-try-too-hard-to-be-james.html here.]]
76** Creator/HPLovecraft: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/non-contiguous-homage-fortnight-8-try.html here.]]
77** Creator/VladimirNabokov: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/homage-week-2-try-too-hard-to-be.html here.]]
78** Creator/JRRTolkien: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/04/homage-week-5-try-too-hard-to-be-jrr.html here.]]
79** Creator/PGWodehouse: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/05/non-contiguous-homage-fortnight-9-try.html here.]]
80* PainfulRhyme: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/09/change-sentence-structure-for-benefit.html "Change sentence structure for the benefit of your rhyme scheme."]]
81* PlanetOfHats: Ripped a new one in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/assume-all-aliens-are-same.html "Assume all Aliens are the Same."]]
82* PlotDetour: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/06/delay-ending.html "Delay the ending."]]
83* PoliticallyCorrectHistory: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/06/historical-fiction-week-2-allow-your.html "Allow your characters to be centuries ahead of their time."]] Edward is firmly convinced that women should be allowed to vote and to work as firefighters...despite the fact that neither professional firefighters nor "the vote" even ''exist'' in his time period.
84* RippedFromTheHeadlines: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/be-topical.html "Be topical."]]
85* RougeAnglesOfSatin / {{Malaproper}}:
86** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/find-bone-mote.html "Find the bone mote."]]
87** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/truss-yore-spool-chucker.html "Truss your spool-chucker."]]
88* SaidBookism:
89** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/use-rich-evocative-dialogue-tags.html "Use rich, evocative dialogue tags."]] In place of "said", the passage uses all of the following: "exploded", "gushed", "impinged", "shrank", "recapitulated", "temporised", ''[[https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/tergiversate "tergiversated"]]'', "burgeoned", and "subsumed".
90** [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/08/banish-said-from-your-vocabulary.html "Banish "said" from your vocabulary."]] The substitutes for "said" ''this'' time: "unveiled", "proclaimed", "conversed", "vocalised", "epitaphed", "stated", "recapitulated" (again), "philosophised", "gushed" (again), "questioned", "dialogued", "began", "continued", "concluded", and "ejaculated".
91* ScheduleSlip: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/02/miss-deadlines.html "Miss deadlines."]]
92* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/06/explain-how-clever-you-are.html "Explain how clever you are."]] Why say "walking down the street" when you can say "perambulating unassumingly along the boulevard"? And that's only 5% of the first sentence.
93* ShapedLikeItself: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/make-your-similes-very-accurate.html "Make your similes very accurate."]]
94* SheIsTheKing: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.ca/2013_02_01_archive.html "King Suzan I "The Woman" of Grob."]]
95* ShownTheirWork: [[http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/HowToWriteBadlyWell/~3/L0ERidEDbAs/historical-fiction-week-1-include.html "Include passing references to major historical events."]]
96** {{Expospeak}}: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/present-your-research-in-form-of.html "Present your research in the form of dialogue."]]
97* SophisticatedAsHell: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/dont-be-put-off-by-wildly-conflicting.html "Don't be put off by wildly conflicting registers of language."]]
98* SpaceWhaleAesop: [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/09/punish-your-characters-indirectly.html "Punish your characters indirectly."]] Underage drinking causes laser wasps to attack!
99* TakeThatAudience: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2011/06/comeback-week-4-alienate-your-existing.html "Alienate your existing readership."]] Dash Gallant's adorable RobotBuddy from the previous installments/blog posts has apparently been {{retcon}}ned into a sexy human {{Love Interest|s}}. In their dialogue, the two of them mock the whole idea of becoming emotionally attached to a robot as childish and idiotic.
100* ThatMakesMeFeelAngry: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/08/let-your-characters-explain-themselves.html#comment-form "Let your characters explain themselves."]]
101* ToiletHumour: Not intended by the hypothetical bad author, but ''definitely'' intended by Joel Stickley, in [[https://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2010/07/fail-to-see-funny-side.html "Fail to see the funny side"]]. The protagonist is suffering from "chronic, uncontrollable flatulence" and "diarrheic hyperactivity" that threatens to derail his promising career. His ski-jumping career.
102* TooDumbToLive: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/make-your-characters-incapable-of.html "Make your characters incapable of learning anything."]] Gretta doesn't understand that she can't simply "make friends" with a KillerRobot sent to assassinate her, even after the robot itself has explained this in unmistakable terms.
103* TrappedByMountainLions: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/09/create-subplots-which-bear-no-relation.html "Create subplots which bear no relation to the main story."]]
104* UnintentionalPeriodPiece:[[invoked]] [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/write-in-way-which-will-not-age-well.html "Write in a way which will not age well"]] is written in a way that places it very firmly in the late 1990's. The protagonist worries about [[MillenniumBug Y2K]] and if the future will be like ''Film/TheMatrix'', while simultaneously playing with his Toys/{{Tamagotchi}} and [[RollerbladeGood rollerblading]].
105* ViewersAreMorons: [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/underestimate-your-audience.html "Underestimate your audience."]]
106* VillainDecay: InUniverse. Due to HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct and TimeyWimeyBall, Hitler Prime is a BigRedDevil; History-books Hitler is him after 300 assassinations. Hitler-301 is a harmless old man painting watercolors on a riverbank in Austria, and there's no Hitler-302 because the timeline's so warped by then his parents decide to get a home office instead of children.
107* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: Invoked in [[http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/2009/12/use-semicolons-because-you-think-they.html "Use semicolons because you think they look good, not because you know how they work."]]

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