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NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34476: Apr 4th 2012 at 7:53:40 PM

Everyone looks for something different in a Shonen hero, so there's no way to state a single "Best" shonen hero.

But I still vote Maka. Who is kinda Negi in a skirt with a badass sycthe. Also, a girl starring in a Shonen manga! That alone gives her major points.

NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#34477: Apr 4th 2012 at 7:55:30 PM

I like Maka myself, but she doesn't really get to do much in the series. Most of the time, the internal character conflict arises from Soul or Black Star or Kid than with any of the girls. Which annoys me.

My Twitch.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34478: Apr 4th 2012 at 7:55:50 PM

Anyone that can put up with Soul for a prolonged basis gets serious badass cred. Ironically, since that's what Soul is trying to cultivate.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34479: Apr 4th 2012 at 7:59:40 PM

[up][up] Again, that's Shonen's biggest deadly pitfall.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34480: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:01:08 PM

That and Can't Catch Up.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#34481: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:01:41 PM

@IANCE: Good points. BTW, were my previous guesses on who were those nine "friends" of Negi that he thought were like Henrietta and Louise correct?

He can emit spells when not going full throttle with ME.
Yes, but Titanoktonon explicitly requires ME to be done in the first place. See here.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:03:51 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34482: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:05:01 PM

Okay, starting more Unequally stuff right now. Most likely brief pieces until I tackle the continuation of the Clow scene tomorrow.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34483: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:15:01 PM

The relations were:

(2)Konoka x Setsuna (4)Nodoka x Yue

And then he recalled it became a mess if you counted in more than two partners.

There's Konoka and Setsuna, Setsuna and Asuna, Asuna and Ayaka, Nodoka and Yue, Yue and Emily, Chisame and Chachamaru. He didn't mention those who actually admitted their attraction towards each other without denial once they figured it out. Meaning, those relationships that weren't a mess to set up. To make a harem work, you need to play matchmaker.

No one found anything that would give up the thief's whereabouts. There were at the very least a good dozen extremely skilled mages going over the wreckage and nobody could find anything. Osmond would have chalked it up to amateurism had he not gone over the situation himself and found he was just as stumped as everyone else.

All that was left was a pile of dirt and molten rock (that was beginning to cool). That last one was hard to wrap their minds about. Eyewitness Tabitha had confirmed that whatever the hell that spell was, it had been lightning. A giant lance of lightning that then exploded, taking the golem with it.

Colbert was wondering how that was even beginning to make the slightest bit of sense, and he'd seen how creative one could get with spells personally. Nothing short of something amazing had transpired. The only thing he rescued out of the whole debacle was that all of his doubts about Valliere's familiar were cleared right then and there.

If nothing else, the man was worthy of respect and admiration. A familiar who would willingly take a direct hit from a giant golem for the sake of his master deserved, at the very least, that.

Still, the loss of the staff was unexpected. The vault was the most secure place for it to be held, and simple brute force shouldn't have done what it did. The tower had a large chunk missing that seemed to have been ripped off, not punched in. It merited further investigation, and both Colbert and Osmond knew better than to trust subordinates with it.

––

“I'm really surprised it was Fouquet the Crumbling Dirt!” Kirche spoke, as she sat dangerously close to Negi's designated bed. The familiar had been left in pretty bad shape by the Golem's punches, but he'd recovered in record time. That fact still made Louise's mind take leaps and leaps, because it knew the world below made absolutely no sense.

Not long ago his insides had been turned to mush and he was in a position that would have rendered anyone else fully immobile, yet now he was sitting in his bed and talking with everyone like he'd just woken up of a particularly long nap. On one hand, it was confusing.

On the other, Louise just let it go and resigned herself to the comfort of knowing her familiar was alright. And that he was powerful as all hell. Her familiar had awoken apparently not too long ago, and the maid who had volunteered to watch over him was gone to fetch him a new set of clothes.

“I never saw her.” Negi commented, smiling sheepishly. “My priorities weren't there.” given what he'd done, it was to be expected.

“Covered.” Tabitha said, not looking up from her book.

“Ah, how boring!”

“Boring?” Louise's eyes narrowed. “She almost killed my familiar and you think this is boring?” she hadn't raised her voice one bit. The tone, carrying more rage and venom than ever before, shook Kirche quite noticeably.

Negi looked up at Louise from where he was sitting. She hadn't noticed she was standing. There was a silent plea in his eyes. Let it go. She wouldn't deny him a request when he was bedridden. “I'm just glad nobody was hurt.” Negi said, rubbing a still sore spot on his side. His ribs hadn't fully snapped into place yet.

Louise lit up when she heard a multitude of footsteps coming in. Only a single person carried such an entourage with her.

“Louise Françoise!” And her voice was still one of the most soothing sounds in the world. “Thank god you are alright!” Her guards had politely (most likely on her orders) remained outside the door.

Kirche was treated to another shock as the princess hugged Louise, who at this point was a blushing mess.

“I apologize.” Negi began, his tone serious. “If I had been paying attention, I could have prevented this. If I had taken the golem seriously from the start, I could have easily defeated it and stopped Fouquet from running away. This is my fault.” he would have kneeled, but his lower body was still mostly unresponsive.

She shook her head. “It was not your responsibility, Mr. Familiar.” The formality was kind of annoying, but it was a given that she would revert to it in public. “I am just glad you are mostly unharmed.”

He smiled. A smile halfway between charming and simply comforting. “It is, however, my fault. I had more than enough power to stop it. I underestimated it.”

Kirche had to sit down for a minute, trying to process everything that was going on. Terrible envy struck her of Tabitha, who could find solace in her book while the world stopped making sense.

“Your Highness, we must hurry.” One of the knights, a rather large man with blond hair, spoke, his voice heavy through the door.

“I must report what has occurred to the palace. I wish we could meet again, Louise, Mr. Familiar.”

Kirche turned to Louise. “You know the princess?”

A long story involving lots of yuri overtones was told. It might or might not have involved many things exploding in increasingly more hilarious ways. Louise denied any possibility of romantic involvement as she spoke.

Meanwhile, Kirche went “I knew it!”

Louise sighed. Whatever that Zerbst thought, she was tired and right now, she wouldn't bother fighting tooth and nail to deny it. “I just hope that the princess does not have to take responsibility for this...”

Negi turned to her. “It's never that easy.” He commented.

“Lately, I have heard many bad rumors from the court.” Louise spoke, forgetting who she was sharing the room with.

“... So have I.” Kirche's comment was a given. “From a reliable source, in fact.” Okay, that had been unexpected. Louise had thought that the germanian would've taken the chance to go on a tirade about how the tristainians went about looking down on germanians for their lesser inhibitions, instead of simply agreeing with her.

She ignored the fact that she had almost instinctively denied the reliability of her sources, for now anyway.

“Even though I can't do anything, I'm worried.”

Negi placed a hand on top of her head. Easy given she was sitting right next to the bed and she was as small as she was. “The princess is strong.” He said, a comforting smile on his face. “And if she ever feels weak, you will always be there for her. That is what you can do, Master.”

Louise looked up at him, feeling like a child again. “Negi...”

“I am your familiar, Master, I will always stand with you. Through the good, the bad and the ugly.”

Louise smiled. “Thank you, Negi.”

She was really cute when she smiled, she had to do it more often.

Kirche ruined the moment instantly by making it a group hug. Flustered as she was, however, Louise didn't care much about that.

Also, for the record, I still think that Negi looks better in a gothic lolita dress than most girls do in them.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:24:50 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#34484: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:29:03 PM

Hey, guys. I just got an email saying that Ala Iridia's gmail account password was changed.

Did ANYONE change the password for it? If not, we might have been hijacked.

My Twitch.
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#34485: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:29:40 PM

@IANCE: Um, Setsuna didn't seem quite in denial about her attraction to Konoka post-Kyoto Arc, just too utterly embarrassed to admit it to other people, including voice it out loud in front of Konoka or overtly confirming it by taking the initiative.

[up] Eh? God, what now?!

edited 4th Apr '12 8:30:13 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#34486: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:30:44 PM

SCM calls for aid! For some time now, I've been working on a piece of original fiction. So far, I have 5 chapters, half of a sixth chapter, and a completed chapter that I haven't assigned a number to yet. I know this is a lot to ask, since it's an all-original work, but could some of you guys critique it for me? You guys are the only ones I can ask, really. I need to know what points need more exposition (sinceit IS an all-new setting), that sort of thing. It's an urban fantasy piece set in the Philippines, finally using that fire-based system I mention a while back and tried to make a thread for. If anyone is interested, go here. The discussion can be there to prevent cluttering.

Suimasen! Suimasen! Suimasen!

edited 4th Apr '12 8:31:01 PM by SCMof2814

NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34487: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:30:47 PM

[up][up][up]I just tried to access and it says it was changed one hour ago.

[up]I'll try reading it tomorrow.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:31:56 PM by NapoleonDeCheese

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34488: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:31:53 PM

I'm telling you he built a workable harem. All of those pairings eventually resolved their attractions to each other.

@Magey

I'd help you, but I'm a really lousy critic.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:32:48 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#34489: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:32:26 PM

Crap, crap, crap...

Okay, don't worry. The email I got gave me a link for me to reset the password for it. I'm going to do that right now. I'll give the new password to everyone once I finish.

My Twitch.
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#34490: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:33:02 PM

Oh, sorry! That must have been me! I used the password for it that I got, but it seems someone changed it in the meantime, so I count get access, so I had to use the password recovery...

Um, who should I give the password to so they can fix it?

@IANCE: that's all right, I need a wide range of opinions. My biggest concern right now is making it readable to non-native Filipinos, since I'm going to mostly be using our local monsters rather than traditional vampires, werewolves, etc.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:35:18 PM by SCMof2814

NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34491: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:34:22 PM

[up][up]Thank you.

It isn't the first time it happens either, right? I start wondering if it's something that automatically happens every once in a while.

[up] Edit: Ah, never mind...

edited 4th Apr '12 8:34:50 PM by NapoleonDeCheese

NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#34492: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:34:45 PM

Ooh...um, if you changed the password, whatever. We don't need to change it again. Mind just sending the new password to the Iridia members, though?

My Twitch.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34493: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:36:20 PM

Doood, you ought to inform people when you do dat.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#34494: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:37:54 PM

@IANCE: I know, I'm just saying that of all the pairings that you mentioned, Negi doesn't need to play matchmaker for Konoka and Setsuna. It's inevitable that Konoka on her own will manage to get Setsuna to be comfortable with their relationship. On a similar note, I'm not sure if Nodoka and Yue need matchmaking from Negi either; in all probability, Haruna might take care of that on her own, if they don't do all the work on their own (see the canon ending; "unusually close", eh Akamatsu? [lol]).

And I've caught a typo:

“My priorities weren't there.” given what he'd done, it was to be expected.
You're missing a capitalization there.

BTW, why are you writing "tristainians" and "germanians" uncapitalized?

edited 4th Apr '12 8:40:04 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#34495: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:38:54 PM

@IANCE: Sorry. I told people as soon as I can, since it was only a few minutes ago. Who else needs it, I'll give it to you via PM. So far, OM, Marq and NL have it.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:39:57 PM by SCMof2814

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#34496: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:39:20 PM

... Are ya supposta capitalize those?

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#34497: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:40:06 PM

The account seems to work fine now.

Negi doesn't need to play matchmaker for Konoka and Setsuna. It's inevitable that Konoka on her own will manage to get Setsuna to be comfortable with their relationship.

Better safe than sorry.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:41:01 PM by NapoleonDeCheese

NoLimit Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
#34498: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:40:46 PM

[up][up][up] Thanks, SCM. No worries. As long as it was only one of us rather than some unknown.

[up][up] If it's a new sentence, then yeah. You should capitalize.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:40:55 PM by NoLimit

My Twitch.
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#34499: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:40:47 PM

Ninja'd previous post for additions.

[up][up][up] They are demonyms, so yes.

[up][up] Well, that's true. I still think that Konoka can do the bulk of the "matchmaking", though.

[up] I think he's referring to "tristainians" and "germanians", actually.

edited 4th Apr '12 8:43:47 PM by MarqFJA

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#34500: Apr 4th 2012 at 8:41:07 PM

Names of ethnic group need to be capitalized. Hence it's 'Americans' rather than 'americans'. Same applies to every group of people in existence, fictional or not.

Edit: Narutaki'd

edited 4th Apr '12 8:44:11 PM by SCMof2814


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