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Insecurity, Sadness, Anxiety, and such matters II

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This is Troper Counseling Services and Support Group: round two because the old one broke.

In this thread, you can talk about any problems or stress you are experiencing without fear of judgement or condescension. No problem is too small for you to talk about. Do not worry that your problems are annoying or petty or what have you; we're here to help and we're here to listen.

Carry on.

edited 25th Jan '13 3:16:33 PM by Willbyr

akanesarumara Relationship Status: Abstaining
Aug 23rd 2019 at 1:35:43 AM

That feel when you don't know if you should go to the ER after having a big fall the day before. I mean, my leg hurts like a b when I try to stand up, I can only walk slowly and with a limp, but it isn't swollen or green/purple/whatever. Also it only really started to hurt like 3-4 hours after the fall (so it can't be muscle/tendon tear, and even less a broken bone).

On the one hand, not sure what they can do, though mom advised me to get it x-rayed.

On the other, I really doubt it is normal to feel like you are being stabbed in the knee when you try to stand up, esp. from low furniture such as my bed.

On the third hand... my mom, herself a nurse on the ER/trauma department, warned me they will bring up my weight (I'm... kinda hefty. Trying to lose weight but not much success) so I'm afraid they'll be all like "you're either overreacting or it's your own damn fault for being this heavy."

GAP Formerly G.G. from Who Knows? Relationship Status: Hugging my pillow
Formerly G.G.
Aug 24th 2019 at 4:26:29 AM

The more I think about it, I don't think I should I never own a pet considering I can barely take care of myself.

"This slime has a heart as sweet as his chocolate frosting."
Pichu-kun ...
...
Aug 24th 2019 at 7:43:46 AM

I hate psychosomatic pains. My neck, head, jaws, and inner ear have been feeling on-and-off all sort of uncomfortable for several days. Some hours it's barely there, other hours... I even wake up with a tension headache. My other body pains disappeared only to be replaced with annoying head+neck pains.

I've found that putting hydrogen peroxide in my right ear helps with neck pains. I don't know if it's a placebo or not, but my ear bubbles up and it relieves pressure. Sometimes I should see a doctor to make sure it isn't something like an infection, but if it is stress like I think then there's nothing they can do. Psychosomatic issues can only be fixed by keeping your stress low. My muscles just need to relax and then the pain will eventually go away, but it's hard to relax when you can't even notice you're tense. It's times like this when I wish CBD oils were legal and easily accessible already; everyone says they fix anxiety quickly.

I went through something similar a few years ago but I can't remember how I got through it. It lasted a few months iirc and it was essentially an awful mid-midlife crisis. I remember waking up at like 6-7 AM to exercise because exercise helped relieve stress. I don't even like exercising, but I couldn't figure out what else to do to relieve my excess anxiety.

Edited by Pichu-kun on Aug 24th 2019 at 8:34:20 AM

Demetrios Is Now Fabulous for Birthday from Wheeling, Illinois Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Is Now Fabulous for Birthday
Aug 24th 2019 at 3:44:46 PM

My mom continues to be off-puttingly cynical.

"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." Edith Head.
Draghinazzo My love, has dressed me like a clown Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
My love, has dressed me like a clown
Aug 24th 2019 at 5:46:29 PM

So my problem with my bank card ended up being pretty trivially solved, it turns out the mail service hadn't sent it back, I went to the bank itself and they just handed it to me and it took like 10 mins, I wasn't even late for work.

I had a pretty terrible anxiety attack when I got to work because I thought one of the children had gone through the gate when I wasn't looking, even though I had no real proof that this happened and even asked around to make sure (just to be clear, I was totally wrong, no kids got through). Awful, but I got through it and everything's fine.

I'm now faced with a much more annoying and harder to solve problem though, which is the fact that the university i signed up for has an abysmally designed site which has failed to load properly the last three days. It's aggravating because it worked fine for the first two days I tried it out, but I haven't been able to do anything since. On the rare occasions it loads the site with the lessons (which mind you, takes an eternity if it happens at all), it doesn't load the actual content of the pages which is infuriating.

I strongly suspect that a large part of this is our internet, we actually share with our neighbor and his house is a little bit aways so the reception isn't the best. It works fine for the most part but for certain things like online games it just isn't very good, and now apparently this site is one of them even though it seemed to be working fine at first. On the other hand I feel like if this site was well-designed and not some atrocious flash player bullshit I wouldn't have any problems accessing the content, spotty internet or otherwise.

To be honest, my first instinct is to just bail on this idea, since if I can't access the site reliably then what the hell is the point? I'd try to find something else but honestly it would be nice to just have work as my only obligation for a while and have the rest of my time for leisure, I come home really tired every day anyways to the point it's hard to do anything period.

My mother is really not happy with this though and is pretty insistent, even suggesting I pay to have our own internet service installed. I would actually be alright with this but the problem is the only ISP that would come out this far for a reasonable price is one with stringent data caps, which as far as I'm concerned isn't acceptable, especially when our current internet is just fine for anything that isn't accessing this website.

Like I get why she'd be so concerned, I've dropped out of a lot of majors now, I'm almost 30 with no degree, and education is important but I really wish she'd just ease off a little, I'd get it if I was at home doing nothing but I'm actually working a 9 to 5 job like any other adult.

EDIT: Ok apparently switching to Firefox fixed it? Whatever I just hope it's not a fluke.

Edited by Draghinazzo on Aug 24th 2019 at 10:56:32 AM

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. ...not really though.
Aug 25th 2019 at 2:41:01 PM

Sometimes I feel that I didn't do anything helpful. Including (and not limited to) even on this very wiki itself. Sometimes I ask myself if my attempts at helping and becoming a better person are for nothing and if someone (or anyone) would ever notice, listen and help me, if my contributions were important and if I left a positive impact wherever I went and to whoever I interacted.

But seriously, who cares anyway?

Edited by Andrei_Bondoc on Aug 25th 2019 at 12:59:26 PM

What's up, Doc?
GAP Formerly G.G. from Who Knows? Relationship Status: Hugging my pillow
Formerly G.G.
Aug 26th 2019 at 7:10:11 AM

I am at lost right now. I have no idea what to do as far as getting to a job goes as I have no car or money to afford uber....my future is looking is looking even more bleak.

Sometimes it feels like my mind is starting to betray me like it wants me to say something horrible when I do not want to. My sleeping habits must really be messing with my head.

Edited by GAP on Aug 26th 2019 at 5:29:26 AM

"This slime has a heart as sweet as his chocolate frosting."
Demetrios Is Now Fabulous for Birthday from Wheeling, Illinois Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Is Now Fabulous for Birthday
Aug 27th 2019 at 12:55:27 PM

After how I didn't get the break from real life for a while like I was hoping for this weekend (although watching Svengoolie and Toonami and Serengeti was a lot of fun), I kind of feel the urge to go to another state - or even another country.

"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." Edith Head.
I-Teleported-Bread from Crazy Clown Time Relationship Status: I want you to want me
Aug 27th 2019 at 10:34:05 PM

I cannot stop thinking about how fast time flies. One day, someone or something that I know and love will be gone forever, whether it be someone I consider a friend note , or a pet, or even professionals I've seen. I can't seem to fathom that concept for some reason. Every time I see anything invoking some sort of nostalgia/childlike feelings in me, or as someone here a while back described as "childhood ephemera," I get this overwhelmingly bittersweet feeling. That might be due to the fact that I've taken so much of my younger years for granted, and I will never get them back. It's especially weird, because my childhood in general was, for the most part, depressing and lonely. There's also how I've been hearing about how the older you get, the faster time flies, and coupled with how I've been dealing with this sort of on-and-off death anxiety as of recently, it makes me even more overwhelmed. I've been delving into escapism a lot as a coping mechanism for all the endless ennui and my general situation these past few years, but I'm scared that it's becoming an unhealthy obsession for me. In fact, I worry I might be becoming somewhat of a Glurge Addict as a result. This gets even more problematic whenever I end up finding myself waxing nostalgia and pining for times as recent as a few months ago, while I never seem to focus on the now. Maybe it's because I'm a huge perfectionist and I want to correct any and all mistakes I've made in the past? Maybe it's because I have this fear of the unknown and having no idea what to do? Maybe there were so many things I should/shouldn't've done in hindsight and want to do them again? Maybe all three?

[down][down][down] That's... sad. I'm genuinely sorry you're dealing with this, too.

EDIT: removed TMI

Edited by I-Teleported-Bread on Aug 31st 2019 at 7:01:44 AM

(_)
ReikoKazama Badger Pride! from Tasmania, Australia Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Badger Pride!
Aug 27th 2019 at 10:58:09 PM

Stupid girl, ever thinking your useless Lenovo would ever be able to run Audacity and the Elgato capture software at the same time. Now you've forced your father into giving you his computer to try because your spending habits are too wasteful for you to ever own one just like it.

EDIT: And now I feel even worse because even that didn't work. I need money. Or an alternative voice recording program.

Edited by ReikoKazama on Aug 29th 2019 at 5:47:23 AM

You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal/Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil
Pichu-kun ...
...
Aug 28th 2019 at 9:56:27 AM

I don't know how other people clean their houses, especially bathrooms.

I had a water overflow and had to clean it up, but I feel covered in germs now... I had to stick my hand in the toilet and I got splashed in the eye while cleaning the floor. I've washed my face and hands several times, and washed out my mouth with mouth wash to be safe, but it feels like everything in my house is covered in germs now. I feel like I'm gonna get pink eye, a stomach flu. and twenty other bacterial diseases.

The worst part ism though I'm a hypochondriac, I also fear chemical cleaners. They're gonna ruin your lungs, give you cancer, give you chemical burns... They're a necessary sin, since natural cleaners aren't as powerful, but they're stil scary.

JohnLinen Nowhere Man from La-La Land Relationship Status: Desperate
Nowhere Man
Aug 28th 2019 at 10:22:01 AM

[up][up][up] You're not alone in those thoughts and feelings. Those kind of subjects have been troubling me most of my life, and they're probably going to get worse now that I'm over 50. As with all things related to fears or troubling thoughts, I wish there were more resources for dealing with them, taking them out with people who feel the same way or who can provide some comfort.

Edited by JohnLinen on Aug 28th 2019 at 11:22:34 AM

"Perhaps if you watched a little more television, you'd be better at your job."
PhysicalStamina i can't be bothered to make any new avatars from why are the roads so damn wide Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
i can't be bothered to make any new avatars
Aug 28th 2019 at 11:42:16 AM

I'm starting to wonder if optimists are just people who either haven't been hurt badly enough, or have, and resort to denial as a coping mechanism. Like the "this is fine" comic.

GAP Formerly G.G. from Who Knows? Relationship Status: Hugging my pillow
Formerly G.G.
Aug 28th 2019 at 4:55:30 PM

I don't want to go to the future.....just let me go back in time.

"This slime has a heart as sweet as his chocolate frosting."
PhysicalStamina i can't be bothered to make any new avatars from why are the roads so damn wide Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
i can't be bothered to make any new avatars
Aug 28th 2019 at 7:17:59 PM

I've been too open lately. Too honest about my opinions... sharing shit I don't need to be sharing about myself...

My mistake, I guess.

acuddle Nonvorpal pillow~ from Blagnac, France Relationship Status: I <3 love!
Nonvorpal pillow~
Aug 29th 2019 at 11:40:28 AM

Being an optimist nowadays needs plenty of dedication.
Humanity itself is having a panic attack as its sheeple wake up into a nightmare.

I still think we're gonna survive and win against all of this, but my optimist is barely hanging from threads of what used to be strong ideals eroded by cold logic and time. Don't despair too much !

[up][up][up][up][up][up][up][up][up][up]I don't know why, Chrome sometimes becomes quite a letdown. Last time I wanted to use the "see background image" contextual menu option and it wasn't there sad. Too bad because Firefox is a memory hog...

Edited by acuddle on Aug 29th 2019 at 8:43:48 PM

Lurker and Moe Philosopher
Demetrios Is Now Fabulous for Birthday from Wheeling, Illinois Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Is Now Fabulous for Birthday
Aug 29th 2019 at 1:08:09 PM

It seems like whenever I come into work, I get another reminder that we're getting closer to the time of year that I've come to dislike: the holiday season. :(

"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." Edith Head.
ReikoKazama Badger Pride! from Tasmania, Australia Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Badger Pride!
Aug 29th 2019 at 8:53:39 PM

Ugh... still sore from my fall yesterday...

You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal/Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil
akanesarumara Relationship Status: Abstaining
Aug 29th 2019 at 9:14:16 PM

Remember I mentioned that fall? Well I put my legs up and put ice gel on it and so on, so it got a lot better, but then after like 2-3 nights of putting my legs up I stopped doing that on Monday and it seems like pain's creeping back in... nowhere as bad as it was but still I thought it rested...

Demetrios Is Now Fabulous for Birthday from Wheeling, Illinois Relationship Status: Wishing you were here
Is Now Fabulous for Birthday
Aug 30th 2019 at 1:33:11 PM

One of the reasons why I don't like holiday weekends and the holiday season happened today. Two of my managers gave me grief for not being fast enough with the carts.

"You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it." Edith Head.
ElfenLiedFan90 Lunatic Moon Eyes from Jakarta,Indonesia Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Lunatic Moon Eyes
Aug 30th 2019 at 8:21:22 PM

Since this thread is about venting, I'm going to let it all out why days ago my mood was rather unstable and putting a Hide in the Pain Harold pfp:

I think I want to hide my current feelings regarding participating on the Complete Monster Cleanup thread that can leave me in a rather sour mood and call me a bit petty but I feel rather inferior when comparing myself to other users in there. I'll be honest that it all started with My Intelligence EP that got mass downvoted, Lighty's Crocodile Queen and Princess Elzebub EP and TIAN's Unbreakable Machine Doll EP that I need to take a break for a while for the sake of my mental health. I know 43110 said that I need to be happy that someone proposed them and ended up going up, but that just makes me rather inferior at best and maybe ruined my chances to enjoy a medium.

That and it all started when my favorite football team, Arsenal, lost to Liverpool FC (Although its understandable given that Liverpool is just too strong) and I'm truly paranoid when they try to face against Spurs and me having a lot of college tasks to finish.

I know, first world problems and all especially a lot of other people had a lot of worse experience than me and this thing could be salvagable by me cheering up a bit. But yeah, that's why I change my pfp to Hide in the Pain Harold and took a break from cleanup threads for a while. Hopefully this day or tomorrow, I'll be able to come back soon with new candidate for CM but I'm not sure because if someone bring up a decent argument, it'll be mass switch votes again.

I'll show you two everything of the moon's insanity! Current story that I made.
GAP Formerly G.G. from Who Knows? Relationship Status: Hugging my pillow
Formerly G.G.
Aug 31st 2019 at 12:31:23 PM

I wonder what am I doing here?! I am still in my thirties and still have know idea what I want. I cannot do anything worth of note and my twenties are gone so I cannot do much as it is too late to do anything. I have no skills or anything to contribute to society, I feel like I am disappointing everyone who supported me. I am a nobody.

"This slime has a heart as sweet as his chocolate frosting."
Pichu-kun ...
...
Sep 1st 2019 at 1:33:54 PM

I brought some pain meds for my tension headaches but I'm too worried to take them. One is for migraines but it says not to take unless you've been diagnosed with migraines, but the other is for tension headaches and has caffeine... I just drank some coffee a hour ago, so I drank one of the migraine pillls.

Funny, I just googled "Tension headache vs migraine" - Google actually didn't answer my question - to make sure I have my terms right and it actually helped my brain tumor anxiety. It turns out that most people with brain tumors don't have headache problems. Headaches are usually due to migraines and tension headached.

I worry that I have an inner ear tumor (yes, I know that sounds stupid, but anxiety is irrational) or a wisdom tooth problem... God, I don't want either. I had two wisdom teeth taken out six years ago and it was hellish. I'm pretty sure I had dry socket, but I was too afraid to go to the dentist so I was in disgusting pain for month.

I have a doctor's appointment in a week so maybe I should bring this up. At most, make sure I don't have an ear infection because of my sore ear. Once my headaches are gonna I'm gonna see a therapist to learn how to stop them from happening, but I hate therapists so much. I just don't like talking about my problems to people I know.

Edit:

I don't know if it's coincidental or not, but the migraine meds did help a good chunk. It doesn't make the pain disappear completely but it's way less intense. It just has a side-effect of making me drowsy. Unfortunately, it didn't help my neck area pain, so I'm guessing migraine medicine is predominantly for headaches.

Edited by Pichu-kun on Sep 1st 2019 at 6:01:52 AM

ReikoKazama Badger Pride! from Tasmania, Australia Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Badger Pride!
Sep 2nd 2019 at 3:37:32 AM

Why am I so goddamn lazy? The next GP has already started but I want to record chapter 2 of Danganronpa 1 first... but the thing is I don't know what I can use to record my voice because Audacity absolutely hates the Elgato capture software so I just put it off constantly and in the end nothing gets done.

You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal/Those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil
akanesarumara Relationship Status: Abstaining
Sep 2nd 2019 at 8:31:41 AM

I really should stop with the caffeine, it makes me weepy and high-strung... Especially on a day that started with my office stuff that I had to pack up due to us moving to another office on the other side of the street getting completely lost with the box it was in...

I also don't know why I'm so needy... I hate feeling needy, I hate feeling like I just want to talk to someone (not text, not chat, talk), anyone, especially when my mom is on night shift so I can't call her, I don't dare call my sis because no clue how busy she is with her two kids and the two friends I tried calling didn't answer (in fact I haven't been in contact with one of them since like may-april when I deleted my facebook even though I tried calling and even emailing her - emails were thrown back with the message that the address is invalid)...

I hate feeling sad and useless and lonely and selfhating...

Edited by akanesarumara on Sep 2nd 2019 at 5:34:56 PM


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