Jane/Alana's unwarranted passive aggressiveness when it comes to John/Michael's mom makes a bit more sense when you realize that her mother is dead and that her death is the main reason she and her dad don't talk anymore.
The therapy episode not only reflects the obstacles many couples face (having children, feeling their partner doesn't respect them, wanting different goals in life etc.) but also the issues that come with being in an interracial marriage/relationship. Mainly not understanding each others culture like in terms of slang (Jane fails to recognize the meaning of “out of pocket” which is a pretty common phrase in the African American community) or not seeing how what is acceptable in one culture can be offensive to your partner if they are not a part that culture or did not grow up in such as the therapist pointing out that John's racial jokes about Jane not being “an obedient Asian wife” is very offensive to her even if it would usually but seen as an acceptable joke in the black community.
While its pretty clear both John and Jane do genuinely love one-another and have many sweet moments, there are times where during their arguments and disagreements they can become downright toxic to one-another, with the therapy episode highlighting some of it, but even prior to that there's some instances of where they can come off as incredibly cruel. For most TV shows, this kind of dynamic would be treated as normal and a necessary case of Rule of Drama because it's generally seen that True Love Is Boring in fiction, and so you need the toxicity to make the relationship drama compelling. However, the show actually justifies this in both their first scenes, where Jane admits she failed her psych evaluation to graduate into the CIA and John casually but downplays admitting that he was dishonorably discharged from the military; in short, right from the beginning we're told this is a show about two sociopaths, and while a lot of the times the show uses this for dark comedy with their mission performances, it makes sense that the two wouldn't be the most healthiest and well-adjusted couple.
