- Written By: ThomasPOV: Third person
Thomas announces that he's writing again, and that while Ebony's chapters were good, his will attract many readers. Jesus is also back, and expresses His belief that Thomas will be able to do so.
Piper's group, which, for some reason, has been joined by Edward "Cullum," arrives in Chicago, and reads The Bible, the Prayer Warriors' favorite evening activity. They decide not to open the evidence until the trial, but are eagerly anticipating what it is; one would think that they would want to know what it is in advance, if only to be sure that the man who gave it to them isn't playing some sort of practical joke on them.
Piper advises "Jeremy", Jerry's "fool(full?) name", who's still up, to take Melatonin, which he can find at his local drugstore. The author's sexism returns, since the narrator comments that this is the greatest extent of Ebony's wisdom.
Jeremy's up because he supports SOPA and is upset about The Other Wiki's opposition to it. Piper agrees, saying that stealing is against God's holy law (which is true), as are sites like Google. Jeremy concurs, adding that he mainly uses Conservapedia.
The group arrives in the court, and hear a lawyer making arguments in favor of evolution, as well as making Christianity the only religion. No one is convinced, which somewhat undercuts his status as a threat.
Jeremy produces the package, which turns out to be a copy of the Bible; essentially, they were looking through the evidence all along without having even opened it. Even the court has it all along, unless, in the Prayer Warriors' universe, the atheists have done away with the practice of having witnesses sworn in on a Bible.
Said evidence is apparently the only evidence that the Prayer Warriors need; at least people like Jack Chick use dubious scientific evidence to support their theories against evolution. The narrator's so excited that he mixes up his words by saying that Evolution is illegal to "death" and that those who violate this law will be sentenced to "teach."
In a vaguely haiku-like exchange with Jesus, Jerry says "That was truly," hears "I agree with "tow" and replies "Now I must go."
- Next Installment: The Battle of Boston Ends
