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Live Blog Life of a Croft: Let's play Tomb Raider!
Makzilla2014-08-28 13:10:11

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The motion of Lara being dragged around is seriously pissing me off! I mean I want to just blow this guy's fucking brains out. I mean how dare you treat her like that. Do you realize who you're dragging?! Anyway, suddenly Lara is hanging upside down wrapped up in some thick cloth. She can't really tear free. She looks totally different than she did in the introduction. Her face is now all bloody with scratches and bruises, and has this horrified expression on her face. I'm not exactly used to seeing her like this, and that's because I'm used to seeing her fucking shit up. To the left of her is another body hanging, and she kinda freaks out, and she is just crying. As of now I have control of her, and just to let you know, I'm going to refer to what Lara does in the game, with me. Lara is now me okay! With the left analog, I move it left and right to move myself left and right. The obvious attempt here is to hit the body on my right, to light him/her on fire so that I can light myself on fire, to burn free of the cloth that's seriously suffocating.

I manage to get the first body out of the way. Now my turn. I reach the flames. Now I'm screaming! Wait, I'm not actually screaming but Lara is screaming. You know what this isn't working out. I'll refer to Lara as Lara from now on. Lara starts screaming, as the cloth shrouding her burns away. Then comes the free fall, and oh god she lands right on a bar of metal, and it just jams right into her stomach! I lost some breath there. I literally have squeezed my controller so hard that I could hear it crack a little. Lara slowly gets up, totally disorientated. Now I have total control of this chick, but as I first try to walk, she stumbles and falls down. I'm like shit, am I going to have to crawl? NO! Lara is a Croft, and she is strong enough to walk. So she gets up, and I can now walk her. I'm inside some kinda cave. It's really dark at the moment, and I can't make out much. Soon I find a torch, an unlit one. So I use the lit torch next to me to light mine. Now I have light, and I can see where the hell I'm going now. The graphics are stunning at this point. I can see little drops of water bouncing off of her skin. Little bugs crawl in and out of the cave walls. Blood and scratches on Lara's shoulders and face are very detailed.

As I traverse deeper, I come across a small little opening in the cave wall. What I love most about this game, is that you don't have to press a button to go through, she just automatically goes. But as she goes through, this fucking pedophile comes out of nowhere and he's like COME HERE! and I'm like NOOOO! So I have to frantically move the analog stick left and right to shrug this guy off, which of course I do. Now I've reached like my first puzzle I should say. There's rushing water going towards this blocked off gate with a bunch of barrels wrapped in white cloth. This probably means I have to light them in fire somehow. I tried to do it, but it didn't work directly, so there has to be some other way to do it.

There's this walkway that leads to this elevator cage. Once I raise it, I jump into it, which dumps some barrels into a nearby crate. So I have to walk up the walkway once more up to that just mentioned nearby crate, and I light it on fire. I then empty that crate, which sends the lit barrels down the current to the gate with the barrels and cloth. There also just so happens to be some oil barrels there as well, so it all blows up dramatically. AWESOME! From there, you have hurriedly escape the cave from falling rocks, and in other words, the cave is just collapsing. That one creeper dude that grabbed Lara before, attempts that again. Except this time, when I kick him off, a boulder crushes him. Serve him right that freaken perve. From there I have to repeatedly pull the left and right triggers to get Lara to scurry up the cave tunnel where at the top is a bright light. Like sunlight! But, I have to press a button on time before a falling boulder crushes her on my way up. I fail the first time, but the second time I reach the end of the cave and end up outside, as the cave is sealed by debris. Lara's face just smacks into the ground like OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUCKING INTENSE! I agree, especially from her point of view. You have to see it to believe it folks. Then she looks out into the ocean and I can now see the shipwrecked ENDURANCE. Then to the left of my screen TOMB RAIDER is written across the sky, as an official ending of the introduction to the game. I love it!

It certainly is a lot different than the previous Tomb Raiders. Come to think of it, I've been wondering for like ever when they were going to make an origin story for this girl. Well here it is! The graphics are stunning, and the story is heart wrenching. I've got to go now, but tomorrow there will definitely be more. No title spoiler this time.

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