Hey, can you believe that we're halfway done? Welcome back!
Carter: Previously on Rika's livebloggening of Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie...
...the Rangers get their all-new Turbo Zords and morphers. Meanwhile, Divatox, after her forces captured Lerigot, planned to go to the Nemesis Triangle, and Kimberly and Jason were still trapped. Finally, yet again, Winnie and his friends...do I really need to say anything else?
In fact, why are Winnie and friends the protagonists again?
Carter: I don't know. So we'll dive right into...
The last time we left off, Justin found something. What is it, you may ask? A small treasure chest that holds their morphing keys. And as the ship prepares to sail...Slimer says, "Bell go ding ding." No, bell goes "Cock-a-doodle-doo!". Here's your sign.
And yes, I had to say that.
Actually, you know what? This movie doesn't deserve "Hope for the World". Let's play a different song, shall we?
*ahem*
Carter: O__o
...what?
Carter: I hate to be Captain Obvious here, but...that was...random.
Well, they are on a boat. Okay, it's technically a ship, but still. And the song I just played suits them, not to mention that I need some comedy of my own when it comes to shit like this.
Carter: Oh...okay.
Back at Divatox's lair, she looks at her reflection until the alarm rings. And yes, she really did say "Hell's bells". Turns out that the lair sensed five humans (who do something!), some misfit toys, a Pokemon, a fairy, two ghosts, and two droids (who, it should be repeated, do jack shit). However, the ship isn't sensed. Divatox thinks that it's the Power Rangers, and Bowser roars, "Not to mention Pooh Bear and his pals."
So Divatox unleashes some pods. NEXT!
Back at the ship, as the pods attach each other to the ship, Justin and Katherine talk a bit. And yes, the pods grow and become even grosser. Ew. So after the talk, Tigger asks Katherine how he's doing, and she replies (to the other Rangers, thus ignoring the voice inside her head) that he's okay.
But before little Justin can get inside, the monsters attack. And, of course, the Rangers fight against them. By the way, notice the lack of Winnie and his friends during the fight sequence. What, Mewtwo can't use his psychic powers against the pod monsters and send them to the moon? What about Winnie and his friends, why didn't they go and attack? And I'm sure that the Good Fairy, being the daughter of Zordon, would have obliterated the monsters to fucking pieces. Why didn't she do that?
Carter: ...it's probably for the best not to answer.
Right.
Oh, by the way? Tigger laughs, and he says, "Now that's what I like to call sherriffin'!" YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, DUMBASS! MY GOD! DO THESE MORONS TRY TO TAKE THE CREDIT FOR FIGHTING?!
...excuse me. I have a wall to demolish. (several slams against the wall are heard)
Carter: Um...me too. (several more slams are heard)
(Three hours later...)
Okay. I'm better now. Tanya admits that it sure isn't The Love Boat, and Justin asks, "What's a love boat?" Mewtwo, clearly not knowing pop culture, answers, "You don't wanna know."
...oy.
Cut right back to Divatox's lair. Kimberly and Jason try to escape from their prison. As a panel's popped off and they're getting closer to the Nemesis Triangle, Divatox says a command, and Bowser Jr. says, "Aye, aye, cap'n!"
Back on the ship, even the Rangers are nearing the Triangle. And so this installment ends with both teams getting ready to cross, while Jason and Kimberly try to hang onto the panel as the water gushes out.
Carter: Will Kimberly and Jason be able to escape? Who will cross the Nemesis Triangle?
And will Winnie and his friends actually do something instead of taking the damn credit?!
One who does not fight will not survive the next livebloggening of Pooh's Adventures of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie.
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