Well, that was a bit...less horrible than Kickboxing Academy thus far. Let's continue.
Previously, on A Light in the Forest: The Legend of Holly Boy, three things happened*. First, we got to know most of the main characters. Secondly, King Otto imprisoned Holly Boy, the most likable character Christopher ever portrayed, by...well, we don't know exactly what he did, though "turning his heart to stone" could give anyone a clue. Finally, Britta's depressed because it sure as hell doesn't begin to look a lot like Christmas.
So let's continue on with...
Suddenly, random Energy Ball.
Yes, as Britta's sad, the Energy Ball flies all around, and we get to see a statue. Of whom, you may ask? Well...you'll see. The Energy Ball goes into the statue, and...
Well, nothing happens, because Britta and the old woman are still talking, this time about school. But then they see the statue, and Britta asks what it is. The old woman replies that the statue is that of Holly Boy.
...wait, so "turning his heart to stone" also means "petrifying the damn guy"? Damn. And that's one ugly-looking statue, I'm sorry. Just kinda...scary.
Anyway. Britta wonders what he's doing out there, and the old woman replies that a hundred years ago, he was placed in that forest. Oh, and the statue (and presumably Holly Boy himself) came from Europe. And, as you can imagine, he's very old. How old, you ask? Well...pretty damn old. Could be hundreds. Could be millennia.
Britta then says that he just seems so out of place. Because, you know, the place itself doesn't look Christmas-y. And it gets better. He's out of place like her. So the old woman comforts Britta.
And if you're wondering why she's out of place, well...realize that they were talking about school. Yep, Britta here is one of those "fish out of water" types, trying to fit in, trying to make things work.
Which is understandable, after all. I'm sure that we've felt that way at one point or another.
The old woman confirms what I pretty much said. She says that it's Britta's home now, and everything will be okay. Britta then looks at the statue and admits that he does look at home.
Wait, what?
Eh. And the old woman says, "What better place for Holly Boy than Hollywood?"
...
God, the puns are just so godawful. Make it stop!
Anyway. We find out the story of Holly Boy. Oh, wait, we don't right now. Because the old woman has a book about the story at home. And so she and Britta leave, and we get a nice glimpse of the statue.
At the old woman's home, Britta is resting in her room as the old woman pulls out the book. She says that she found it in the attic with some old games Britta's mom used to play with. It's a bedtime story, everyone!
But first. Britta asked if her mom liked the story, as the grandmother once did. Answer: yes. She used to read it all the time. So the grandmother starts to read until Britta looks at a picture of—AAH! ART ATTACK!
Um...I guess it's a picture of Holly Boy, if it's all Off-Model and everything. Despite this, Britta admits that he does look kinda cute...and the grandmother agrees. I really hope it's the "d'aww" and not...the...other kind.
Ahem!
So let's get right to the story.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Linda, who was very sad. The thing is, even though it's the eve before Christmas and she has everything to be happy about...she's not. She still feels empty inside.
Why does she feel that way? Seriously, what happened to her that made her feel empty inside?
Well, we don't know, because now we see the sleeping Britta, her hand holding the holly. She wakes up and places the holly on a book. And the grandmother wakes her up and tells her that she has 55 minutes to eat her pancakes, shower, get dressed, and head to school.
...do they always time everything, I wonder?
Anyway, at school, Britta and her grandmother look around. The thing is, they thought it looked nice, but then we get to see some punk kids. The grandmother asks her granddaughter if she'll be okay, and Britta says that she'll be fine. After the usual either picking her up or heading back home another way and giving Britta a packed lunch, the young woman leaves to school.
And the grandmother says, "Go get 'em, kid". Okay...
Cut to the office. It's revealed that Britta changed schools...too many times. And she was wondering about "bilingual education", and the teacher replies the usual thing about it. You know, if a person possesses another language. And then it's revealed that she can speak Italian, French, German, and English.
...unless if there are family members who can teach her those, how the hell can she learn those languages? Granted, at times, there are French classes—I even took one myself in junior high. But the rest seem like the sort of things learned in college or something like that.
A boy laughs, and then the teacher mock-laughs back. Yeah, I can tell that this is going to be hell for her. Anyway, the boy and Britta talk a bit. Turns out that the boy has been kicked out from a lot of private schools.
Damn. Must be a bad boy-type. I could be wrong.
And yep. He was sent to the principal's office due to his bad attitude. I knew it! However, the reason why he got away with it? He's a good gymnast.
Seriously. Does anyone know how fucking stupid it is? That's as if I get in trouble, but I got away with it because I draw well.
Then the principal talks with a couple women who I presume that they're teachers. They're talking about budgets and the upcoming Christmas pageant. One of them thinks about expanding it, but the props and costumes killed it the last time it happened.
Before anyone could share any ideas on how to be original, the principal then sees the boy, and he finds out about Britta. Turns out that she was from Europe.
Ah, so that explains the language thing!
The principal then says, "Sorry to hear about your parents", and...everything goes dead. Just silence. After a while, Britta says, "Thank you". So...sounds like Britta has a Disappeared Dad and a Missing Mom. Quite sad, really.
After that, the principal introduces himself and the boy, Blair. Kurt then tells the troublemaker not to teach Britta any bad habits, and the boy salutes. Then Kurt says to Britta that they're happy to see her here...but not in the principal's office, presumably hoping that she would be a good girl.
So after that, we get to school, and Britta drops her books. She picks them up and tries to go to school. But hey, it gets worse, as she finds some slips and a hall monitor shows up, asking if she has a pass. Britta doesn't quite understand what's going on, and she thought it meant she had to pass him to go to class.
Well, the hall monitor doesn't take it well, but Britta explains that she has to go to math class, showing him the slips. HM then asks if she's new. Well, duh! And then he becomes even more of an asshole. Sure, he'll let her go this time, but he'll pretty much expect a pass next time.
Something tells me that this guy is taking his job way too seriously.
Cut to math class, where that's in session. The rest of the class look so bored. And then, Britta arrives, and the teacher...doesn't look too happy. At all. She then looks at Britta's papers that tells her that she has to be there.
Oh, and another fact about Britta. She's from Switzerland. Or, at least, she was in Switzerland, but she was born in Germany.
The teacher introduces the class to Britta, and she tells her to take a seat. As she does, the poor girl accidentally knocks over a girl with far too many curls in her hair. Way too many perms. Indeed, the girl looks annoyed, to the point where the teacher turns around.
And then...the girl then declares, "God, look at who just fell off the boat!" That's not nice. But then a boy whispers to Britta to not let the "jokes" get to her. Now that's nice. Dave even mentions that they're mean to everyone, no exceptions.
...yeesh.
And that's where we'll stop there for this installment. Will Britta survive the rest of her day? What is up with the girl and why is she mean to everyone? And where will we see Holly Boy next?
All these questions and more will be revealed on the next liveblog!
