I'm back! This "song", Ay-bay-bay by Hurricane Chris is a disaster!
(feat. Big Poppa & Bigg Redd)
TOM: And sponsored by the Mr. Big candy bar!!
Ay Bay Bay(Ay) [X3]
Ay Bay Bay(Ay) [X3]
CROW: Oh good, I was worried we were going to hear some actual lyrics.
Ay Bay Bay(Ay) [X3]
MIKE: Is Chris trying to out-repeat “Hey Jude?”
Ay Bay Bay(Ay) [X3]
TOM (frustrated): Will you just get on with it!?
[Chorus:]
You Wanna Know Wat We Say In Da Club
MIKE: Why the hell’s the drink’s so overpriced?
(Ay Bay Bay)
Whites Folks Gangsta in the club (Ay Bay Bay)
CROW: At least they’re acknowledging the fact that this song is whiter than a bag of flour.
Stuntin With A Stack Of Them Dubs (Ay Bay Bay)
TOM: Ooh, better not bring that up with Subbing fans. It’ll cause a flame war.
Ridin' In A Lac Wit A Mug (Ay Bay Bay)
CROW: Ah, so eloquent.
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
(TOM bursts into tears)
CROW: Oh boy, Tom’s crying already and we haven’t made it to the first verse yet.
Im In Da Club Holerin'
MIKE: The words to “I will always love you.” It’s Karaoke night, you see.
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
TOM (sniffling): Make the repeating stop, Mike!!
MIKE: I wish could, little buddy.
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
When I Holla Ay Bay Bay
I'm fittin to Get My Groove On
CROW: Yes, nothing says “Getting your Groove On” like hollering like a chimpanzee!!
Its So Hot Up In Da Club
Dat I Ain't Got No Shoes On
MIKE [Chris]: This means I’m more susceptible to Tetanus!! Whee!!!
Im Holdin' Up A Big Stack of Dem
TOM: He’s holding up a big stack of Demi Moores?
Hundreds In A Rubba Band
Girl Don't Ask Me For No Cash
CROW: So that means you want the girl to ask you for cash then.
Cause Im Not Dat Other Man
MIKE: Yeah! You take that, Other Man doing your…Other Man things!!
Everybody Trippin' Cause Im Limpin'
TOM: Let’s do the Wounded Turkey, everybody!!
[ALL cheer]
When Im Walkin' And Im Pimpin' When Im Talkin'
I Don't Trick On Chick Dats Talkin'
Dem Boyz In Da Back Dey Be Rollin' up Dey Doughdy
CROW: Mike? Am I getting stupider or are the sentences more incomprehensible?
MIKE: Yes.
Then Dey Blow It Till Dey Chokin'
Dats Wat Got Lil' Cane Rollin'
TOM [stupid]: That’s another name for my area. Huhuhhuhuh!!
And When I See A Bad Chik Im Hollerin Out(Ay Bay Bay)
MIKE [falsetto]: Leave us alone, you pig!!
I Hope Yall Ain't Wit Ya Boyfriendz
TOM: Permission to hit this guy with something, Mike?
MIKE: Permission most definitely granted.
Cause I Don't Care Wat Dey Say
And I Don't Care Wat He Say Or She Say
CROW [rebel]: Because I’m like, above the man, man!!
Im In Da Dj Booth, Takin' Pictures Wit Da Dj
MIKE [DJ, annoyed]: Sir, will you get out of here? I’m trying to work.
You Wanna Know What We Say
When Clubs Get Crunk (Wat)
Ay Bay bay Let it Play
CROW: We’ll all lose our hearing soon, anyway!!
Dats My Song Turn It Up [X2]
[Chorus:]
You Wanna Know Wat We Say In Da Club (Ay Bay Bay)
TOM: NOOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE CLUBS!!!
[TOM bursts into tears yet again]
MIKE Tom? Tom? It’s okay buddy.
Whites Folks Gangsta in the club (Ay Bay Bay)
TOM [crying] No, it’s not okay!! How can songs like this get popular? How?
CROW: How about we all sing a nice song instead?
Stuntin With A Stack Of Them Dubs (Ay Bay Bay)
ALL [singing]: Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard.
Ridin' In A Lac Wit A Mug (Ay Bay Bay)
ALL [same]: When we drink we do it right, getting-
TOM [crying]: NO!! NO!! I won’t hear that terrible rhyme!!
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
ALL [same]: Sipping sizzurp in my ride like three 6.
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
[TOM wails loudly]
MIKE: No, no, it’s okay, Tom, you’re letting the Mads win, remember?
CROW [crying]: He’s right, Mike!! This song is godawful and deserves to die!!
Im In Da Club Holerin
[BOTS are still crying]
MIKE: Okay, guys, calm down, take it easy, it’s going to be okay.
BOTS [sniffling]: Promise?
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
MIKE: I promise. Now we got at least two more verses to get through, then we’ll call it a day. Alright?
BOTS: Alright.
Now If You Lookin' For Me Baby You Can Find Me
CROW: Buried under a pile of trash in a Dumpster.
Bangin' In Da Chevy Candy Painted Swingin 9 Deep
TOM: I’m sure that lyric makes sense in another language.
Saint Cards Creep Wit My People Right Behind Me
MIKE: Saint Cards? What are they, the new trading cards the kids are talking about?
I Showed Dem My Chain Now She Hollerin Wat U Buyin' Me
CROW [annoyed]: Is every person in this song *made* to be unpleasant!?
I Show My Mouth Piece
TOM [girl, disgusted]: Oh…thanks. And it’s still got some of your saliva on it too.
To Dem Freaks Now Da Hirin' Me
Oh You Got A Problem Well I Hope You
Tryin Me. Throw Them ....Park
CROW: Hurricane Chris attempts to form a coherent thought.
Then I Reach Under My Sit
Hop Out With My Hand Under My Shirt
MIKE: Uh, why?
Dats Where Dey Eyin Me
Yellow Bone Chirpin' Me
She Trying To See Where Imma Be.
CROW: Hopefully splattered on the ground.
You Gonna Let Me Get Up In
Your Mouth Well Dats Where Imma Be
TOM: He’s so thoughtful.
I Don't Pop Trunk Wit Lights Dats
Where Dey Choppa Be.
MIKE [Arnold Schwarzenegger]: Get to the Choppa!!
Straight To The Hotel
CROW: Behold! The song’s only grammatically correct lyric!
All Da Bad Chickins Followin' Me
TOM: Two questions: What are you on and can we have some of it, please?
I Know You Like My Style, I Ain't Trippin
Im Just Tryin' To See, Girl Is You Drunk
MIKE: It’s easy to see why anybody would like this guy. He’s so full of wit and charm.
Well Tell Me Why You Leanin' All On Me
TOM [girl, angry]: I’m cold, you brain-dead idiot!!
And If You Thinkin' Imma Stunt You Trippin
I Pull Up In An Expedition Wit Da Roof Lift
CROW: Lyrics by a completed book of Mad Libs.
[Chorus:]
You Wanna Know Wat We Say In Da Club
CROW [Chris]: Everybody ask me for cash…park.
(Ay Bay Bay)
Whites Folks Gangsta And Them Thugs (Ay Bay Bay)
Stuntin With A Stack Of Them Dubs (Ay Bay Bay)
Ridin' In A Lac Wit A Mug (Ay Bay Bay)
MIKE: I bet Chris is actually at home watching TV right now.
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
Ay Bay Bay (5X)
TOM: Ay-yi-yi.
Im In Da Club Holerin'
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
CROW: Where the hell are my keys!?
Im In Da Club Hollerin
Ay Baybay Let it Play
Dats My Song Turn It Up
MIKE: Sir, that’s a dial tone.
CROW [Chris]: But dis my jam, y’all!!
Im In Da Club Hot,Crunk,Sweatin, Burnin' Up
TOM: I thought he was driving to the hotel!!
MIKE: This song has the continuity of Red Zone Cuba.
Im 'bout To Do The Crowd
CROW: Ick.
Bumpin And Hollerin Wats Up
I Done Fell Out In Da Dance Floor
And Now Caint Get Up
CROW: Would some fat guy please sit on him?
Js On Your Feet But You Cant Get These
MIKE: Fashions by Muppet Studios.
You Wear Wats Unbrown White, And Yellow
Till You Breeze
TOM [snooty]: Why, yes, I am better than you in every way.
Ill Go To Saint Louis Let My Chain Hang Low
conary Yellow Diamonds Mixed Wit Rozo
I Shy Real Bright In Da Light Because Im A Star
8 Shots Of Patrons
CROW [shocked]: He shot some people!?
MIKE: I think Chris meant he was drinking. At least, I hope so.
Now Stannin'on Da Bar
Probably Get Drunk as a skunk And
MIKE: Write a song.
Put Da Keys In Da Wrong car
TOM [wacky sitcom narrator]: Uh-oh, looks like Hurricane Chris is going to do something nutty!!
[Chorus:]
You Wanna Know Wat We Say In Da Club (Ay Bay Bay)
Whites Folks Gangsta in the club
MIKE: I bet Tupac’s rolling over in his grave.
CROW: He isn’t dead! He’s just hiding!
(Ay Bay Bay)
Stuntin With A Stack Of Them Dubs (Ay Bay Bay)
Ridin' In A Lac Wit A Mug (Ay Bay Bay)
TOM: Somewhere, an English teacher is crying.
'Im In Da Club Hollerin'
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
MIKE: Download this song from iTunes ™ and set it as your iPhone’s™ ringtone!! That way, you’ll be in da club hollerin’ Ay Bay Bay everytime your iPhone ™ rings!!
Im In Da Club Holerin'
Ay Bay Bay [X5]
CROW [angry]: Will this song just end!?
Im In Da Club Hollerin'
Ay Baybay Let It Play Thats My Song Turn It Up (repeat untill song ends)
TOM: Oh boy, that was a turd, wasn't it?
Which song do you think is worse? This or This is why I'm hot? And, once again, you can't say both.
