| 1 | -->“All comedy is theory until somebody laughs at it.”\ |
| 2 | “You’re sitting on your parents’ floor, playing air hockey against yourself, in a pirate hat, pyjama pants and no shirt. And ''you’re'' calling ''me'' a loser?”\ |
| 3 | — me |
| 4 | |
| 5 | Pages created by me: |
| 6 | * Film/UncleBuck |
| 7 | * Webcomic/ScenesFromAMultiverse |
| 8 | * Fanfic/WelcomeToSandHands |
| 9 | * Film/TheRoyalHotel |
| 10 | * Literature/TheSalvagers |
| 11 | |
| 12 | [[folder: Favourite Movies]] |
| 13 | * ''Film/MadMaxFuryRoad'' |
| 14 | * ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' |
| 15 | * ''Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry'' |
| 16 | [[/folder]] |
| 17 | |
| 18 | Favourite TV shows: |
| 19 | * ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' [[labelnote:favourite episodes:]]“Duet”, “Civil Defense”, “In the Pale Moonlight”, “Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang”[[/labelnote]] |
| 20 | * ''Series/{{Community}}'' [[labelnote:favourite episodes:]]“Basic Genealogy”, “Physical Education”, “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”, “Basic RV Repair and Palmistry”[[/labelnote]]. |
| 21 | |
| 22 | Favourite book series: ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'' [[labelnote:favourite books]]''Literature/DeadBeat'' and ''Literature/SkinGame''[[/labelnote]] |
| 23 | |
| 24 | Favourite tabletop games: ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' and ''TabletopGame/BigEyesSmallMouth'' |
| 25 | |
| 26 | I like to write. Colin Mochrie is my spirit animal. |
| 27 | |
| 28 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 29 | !Other Stuff I Have Enjoyed |
| 30 | [[folder: Words & Pictures]] |
| 31 | * ''WebComic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'' |
| 32 | * ''ComicBook/AllStarSuperman'' |
| 33 | * ''ComicBook/{{Bone}}'' |
| 34 | * ''WebComic/BrawlInTheFamily'' |
| 35 | * Website/{{Cracked}} |
| 36 | * ''Literature/{{Discworld}}''[[labelnote:especially]] ''Literature/{{Hogfather}}, Literature/MenAtArms, Literature/{{Thud}}, Literature/GoingPostal'' and ''Literature/MakingMoney''[[/labelnote]] |
| 37 | * Website/TheEditingRoom |
| 38 | * ''WebComic/HarkAVagrant'' |
| 39 | * ''Literature/TheHundredAndOneDalmatians'' |
| 40 | * ''Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd'' |
| 41 | * ''Literature/ToKillAMockingbird'' |
| 42 | * ''Literature/TheQContinuum'' |
| 43 | * ''ComicBook/SupermanRedSon'' |
| 44 | * ''WebComic/{{Wondermark}}'' |
| 45 | [[/folder]] |
| 46 | [[folder: Movies / TV]] |
| 47 | * ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'' |
| 48 | * ''Theatre/ArsenicAndOldLace'' |
| 49 | * ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' / ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'' |
| 50 | * ''Film/TheBabadook'' |
| 51 | * ''WesternAnimation/BatmanAssaultOnArkham'' |
| 52 | * ''Film/TheCabinInTheWoods'' |
| 53 | * ''WesternAnimation/ChickenRun'' |
| 54 | * ''Series/{{Daredevil}}'' |
| 55 | * ''Film/TheDarkKnight'' |
| 56 | * WebVideo/DontHugMeImScared |
| 57 | * ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove'' |
| 58 | * ''WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory'' |
| 59 | * ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' |
| 60 | * ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'' |
| 61 | * ''Film/GraveEncounters'' |
| 62 | * ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'' |
| 63 | * ''WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas'' |
| 64 | * ''WesternAnimation/HowToTrainYourDragon'' |
| 65 | * ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles'' |
| 66 | * ''WesternAnimation/TheIronGiant'' |
| 67 | * ''WebVideo/JonTron'' |
| 68 | * ''Film/KingsmanTheSecretService'' |
| 69 | * ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoMovie'' |
| 70 | * ''Film/LifeIsBeautiful'' |
| 71 | * the [[Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse MCU]][[labelnote:especially]] ''Film/CaptainAmericaCivilWar, [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier Winter Soldier]], Film/ThorRagnarok'' and ''Film/AvengersInfinityWar''[[/labelnote]] |
| 72 | * ''Series/{{Monk}}'' |
| 73 | * ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' |
| 74 | * Creator/PattonOswalt |
| 75 | * ''Film/ThePrestige'' |
| 76 | * ''Film/TheProfessional'' |
| 77 | * ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'' |
| 78 | * ''Film/RiseOfThePlanetOfTheApes'' |
| 79 | * ''[[Film/RoboCop1987 RoboCop]]'' |
| 80 | * ''Film/TheRoom'' |
| 81 | * ''Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld'' |
| 82 | * ''Film/SinginInTheRain'' |
| 83 | * ''Franchise/StarTrek'' |
| 84 | ** ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' |
| 85 | ** ''Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry'' |
| 86 | ** ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' |
| 87 | * ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' |
| 88 | * ''Film/TotalRecall1990'' |
| 89 | * ''Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt'' |
| 90 | * ''Film/UncleBuck'' |
| 91 | * ''WesternAnimation/WallE'' |
| 92 | * ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' |
| 93 | * ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'' |
| 94 | [[/folder]] |
| 95 | [[folder: Music]] |
| 96 | * Music/AndrewWK |
| 97 | * Music/{{Ayreon}} |
| 98 | * Music/BlindGuardian |
| 99 | * Music/BreakingBenjamin |
| 100 | * [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_Lights Capital Lights ]] |
| 101 | * [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caravan_Palace Caravan Palace ]] |
| 102 | * Music/DavidGuetta |
| 103 | * [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marianas_Trench_(band) Marianas Trench ]] |
| 104 | * Music/{{Mika}} |
| 105 | * Music/{{Muse}} |
| 106 | * Music/{{Nero}} |
| 107 | * Music/OwlCity |
| 108 | * Music/{{Queen}} |
| 109 | * Music/VanCanto |
| 110 | * Music/WeirdAlYankovic |
| 111 | [[/folder]] |
| 112 | [[folder: Games]] |
| 113 | * ''VideoGame/KirbySuperstar'' |
| 114 | * ''VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld'' |
| 115 | * ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'' |
| 116 | [[/folder]] |
| 117 | !My Excessively Large Collection of Quotes from Stuff |
| 118 | [[folder: Cool Quotes]] |
| 119 | -->'''[[WesternAnimation/WallE The Captain]]:''' I don't wanna survive. I wanna ''live!''\ |
| 120 | \ |
| 121 | '''[[Series/StarTrekEnterprise Jonathan Archer]]:''' I can't save humanity without holding onto what makes me human.\ |
| 122 | \ |
| 123 | '''[[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} Claudius]]:''' Madness in great ones should not unwatched go.\ |
| 124 | \ |
| 125 | '''Edmund Burke:''' All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.\ |
| 126 | \ |
| 127 | '''[[Literature/TheFourGospels John 15:13]]''' (KJV): Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.\ |
| 128 | \ |
| 129 | '''UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill:''' Some people’s idea of [free speech] is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage.\ |
| 130 | \ |
| 131 | '''[[Series/Supergirl2015 Henshaw]]:''' You don’t know me! I am 317 years old, I can wear any face I choose, I speak languages your mouth can’t even ''form!'' You know '''''nothing''''' about me!!\ |
| 132 | \ |
| 133 | '''[[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane]]:''' Oh, you think the darkness is your ally? But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man; by then, it was nothing to me but blinding! The shadows betray you, because they belong to me.\ |
| 134 | \ |
| 135 | '''[[Franchise/TheDCU Batman]]:''' It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark]] is the most human of us all. Then … he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to ''him''.\ |
| 136 | \ |
| 137 | '''[[ComicBook/TarotWitchOfTheBlackRose Raven Hex]]:''' The Devil doesn't exist in ''my'' religion. And if he did… he would worship ''me.''\ |
| 138 | \ |
| 139 | '''[[Film/IronMan3 The Mandarin]]:''' True story about fortune cookies: They look Chinese. They sound Chinese. But they're actually an American invention; which is why they're hollow, full of lies, and leave a bad taste in the mouth.\ |
| 140 | \ |
| 141 | '''Epicurus:''' Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?\ |
| 142 | \ |
| 143 | '''[[Film/PacificRim Stacker Pentecost]]:''' I’ve ''never'' believed in the end times. We are mankind. Our footprints are on the moon. When the last trumpet sounds and the Beast rises from the pit—we will '''''kill it.'''''\ |
| 144 | \ |
| 145 | '''[[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime]]:''' My friend's name was Megatron and he had three questions! Three things he said you should ''demand'' to know of any powerful institution. Question one: in whose interests do you exercise your powers? Question Two: to whom are you accountable? And ''three!'' '''''How can we get rid of you?'''''\ |
| 146 | \ |
| 147 | '''Creator/MarkTwain:''' Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at is worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the “noblest work of God.”\ |
| 148 | \ |
| 149 | '''[[Literature/MenAtArms Sam Vimes]]:''' If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you’re going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat. They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.\ |
| 150 | \ |
| 151 | '''[[Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd Marconi]]:''' Every living being has but one need: power. Power over other living things. You need it to grow, to eat, to reproduce. And cruelty is the ultimate expression of power. To impose needless, extreme suffering and humiliation on another. It is the purest demonstration of strength. Toddlers learn it in the nursery. Therefore every organism, from the microbe up, wears its cruelty as a badge to mark its upward progress. Prey must be subdued, competition must be starved, enemies must be wiped out. One would thus assume that we find the same among the gods, only more-so. That at each level of the heavens we find higher and higher levels of greed, brutality and mindless spite. How else could they have become gods? |
| 152 | [[/folder]] |
| 153 | [[folder: I find these hilarious]] |
| 154 | -->'''Wallace Shawn:''' The life of an actor can be very enviable. If the phone rings and somebody says, “I see you as [[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine the leader of a group of aliens with enormous heads]]”, I think that’s fantastic.\ |
| 155 | \ |
| 156 | '''UsefulNotes/WinstonChurchill:''' I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.\ |
| 157 | \ |
| 158 | '''[[Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry Spock]]:''' If I were human, I believe my response would be… “Go to Hell.” ''If'' I were human.\ |
| 159 | \ |
| 160 | '''[[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome McCoy]]:''' You mean I’ve got to ''die'' to discuss your thoughts on death?\ |
| 161 | '''Spock:''' Excuse me, doctor; I am receiving several distress calls.\ |
| 162 | '''[=McCoy=]:''' I don’t doubt it.\ |
| 163 | \ |
| 164 | '''[[Film/TheAvengers Bruce]]:''' I don’t think we should be focusing on SelfDemonstrating/{{Loki}}. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell the crazy on him.\ |
| 165 | '''Thor:''' Have care how you speak! Loki may be beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother!\ |
| 166 | '''Natasha:''' He killed eighty people in two days.\ |
| 167 | '''Thor:''' He’s adopted.\ |
| 168 | \ |
| 169 | '''[[Literature/WyrdSisters Granny Weatherwax]]:''' Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact.\ |
| 170 | \ |
| 171 | '''[[Literature/WyrdSisters Nanny Ogg]]:''' I’ve nothing against ghosts. …But my cottage’s no place for them. There’s some woman in a chariot yelling her head off in the washhouse! I ask you! And there’s a couple of little kiddies in the pantry, and men without heads all over the place, and someone screaming under the sink, and there’s this little hairy man wandering around looking lost and everything. It’s not right.\ |
| 172 | \ |
| 173 | '''[[Literature/MenAtArms Sam Vimes]]:''' The Ramkins were as highly bred as a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.\ |
| 174 | \ |
| 175 | '''Creator/TerryPratchett:''' Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.\ |
| 176 | \ |
| 177 | '''[[WebComic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja Pirate]]:''' Well ye have to show ’em wot a good doctor ye arrrrr!\ |
| 178 | '''Dr. [=McNinja=]:''' What, are you going to let me perform surgery on you in front of them? They won’t like that. Well, Dad will, up until I’m done with the scalpel. Then he’ll realize that I’m not just cutting up some pirate, and get pissed and probably start punching both of us.\ |
| 179 | \ |
| 180 | '''[[WebComic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja Dan McNinja]]:''' Here. I’ll pour you a Molson. It’s got a higher alcohol content than most American beers. And maybe that will help sterilize all those cuts on your face.\ |
| 181 | '''Ninja Drug Punk:''' Uh, what cuts, my man?\ |
| 182 | '''Dan:''' [smashes the beer mug across the punk’s face] ''I have no idea.''\ |
| 183 | \ |
| 184 | '''[[WebComic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja Dan McNinja]]:''' This is pretty easy, kids. Are you really on the ninja drug? You sure you’re not on PCP? [hits punk with barstool] Hmm… no. If you were on PCP, you’d probably try to eat the barstool that hit you. Because you’d think it was Lucifer, and if you could eat it, you’d have all the strength he just hit you with, and then you could beat me. You would ''not'' be vomiting now. Come on, it wasn’t that hard. That’s gross. [{{Beat}}] And don’t ''cry''.\ |
| 185 | \ |
| 186 | '''[[Series/{{Monk}} Natalie]]:''' Oh my god. You’re the Prince of Darkness.\ |
| 187 | '''Stottlemeyer:''' No, he’s not the Prince of Darkness. I’ve seen him vacuuming the ceiling. You wouldn’t see the Prince of Darkness doing that.\ |
| 188 | '''Natalie:''' No, I can picture the Prince of Darkness vacuuming the ceiling, to trick us! He’s very tricky.\ |
| 189 | '''Monk:''' Stop calling me the Prince of Darkness! That’s how rumours get started.\ |
| 190 | \ |
| 191 | '''[[Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt Lillian Kaushtupper]]:''' You’ll say “Who’s that old woman in the mirror?” Then she’ll punch you in the face and say, “This isn’t a mirror. It’s an open window.” What were we talking about?\ |
| 192 | \ |
| 193 | '''Kimmy:''' I don’t wanna go, Titus!\ |
| 194 | '''Titus:''' Think of the greater good, girl! You think the reverend Martin Luther King ''wanted'' to wear a bikini and put on angel wings and gyrate on top of the Gay Pride float? FOOP! I’m mixin’ up my struggles!\ |
| 195 | \ |
| 196 | '''[[Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt Titus]]:''' Girl, I went to public school in Mississippi. They told us dinosaurs went extinct because an asteroid turned them gay!\ |
| 197 | \ |
| 198 | '''[[Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt Kimmy]]:''' Because that’s what women do. We eat a bag of dirt, pass it in a kiddy pool, and move on.\ |
| 199 | '''Jacqueline:''' I hope that’s a metaphor.\ |
| 200 | '''Kimmy:''' It’s not. We needed the iron.\ |
| 201 | \ |
| 202 | '''Creator/DaveBarry:''' In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.\ |
| 203 | \ |
| 204 | '''[[Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway Colin Mochrie]]:''' I believe it was Creator/DrSeuss who said, “With my hands should I clap? No no no, you’re [[BigStupidDoodooHead crap crap crap]]!”\ |
| 205 | \ |
| 206 | '''Ryan Stiles:''' Colin, what comes into your head when I say “Ricky Ricardo and great cigars”?\ |
| 207 | '''Colin:''' Oh! Tapioca.\ |
| 208 | \ |
| 209 | '''Ryan:''' Here’s another riddle for ya. What kind of bird always says the name of our next band?\ |
| 210 | '''Colin:''' Oh. I guess a... tern? An arctic tern?\ |
| 211 | '''Ryan:''' And what sound does an arctic tern make?\ |
| 212 | '''Colin:''' ({{beat}}) BAWKSTREETBOYS!\ |
| 213 | \ |
| 214 | '''[[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCGc8JKl5EvE8IjZ_qprNcQ Kate McLennan]]:''' Ours is going to be filled with precious memories from season two, as a special gift for my dear friend [=McCartney!=]\ |
| 215 | '''Kate [=McCartney=]:''' Yeah. It’s gonna be like a handmade massage voucher that you give a colleague ‘cuz you can’t afford a proper present.\ |
| 216 | '''Kate [=McLennan=]:''' And I’ve told you, you can redeem that voucher as soon as my repetitive wrist injury clears up from that other voucher that I gave my partner in lieu of a mortgage repayment!\ |
| 217 | \ |
| 218 | '''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Homsar]]:''' Oh no, you shank my Jenga ship!\ |
| 219 | '''Strong Sad:''' I shanked your Jenga ship? We’re playing Connect Four!\ |
| 220 | '''Bubs:''' Hey, you guys! Where The Cheat is at?\ |
| 221 | '''Homsar:''' [=AaAaA=], hi Tubs! I lost my Jenga jam.\ |
| 222 | '''Bubs:''' Don’t you talk to me!\ |
| 223 | \ |
| 224 | '''[[WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC The Joker]]:''' Tell me, my friend. Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?\ |
| 225 | '''Green Goblin:''' [[ShutUpHannibal Yeah]]. He told me you’re gay.\ |
| 226 | \ |
| 227 | '''Creator/LouisCK:''' I’m not gonna fuck a kid. I wouldn’t do that. ({{Beat}}) …maybe a dead kid. Who are you hurting? He’s dead! Who are you hurting? I’m not saying I would ''kill'' a kid and fuck him, I’m saying that if I found a dead kid in a field, and it wasn’t raining, I might take a shot, I don't know.\ |
| 228 | \ |
| 229 | '''[[Website/{{Cracked}} Seanbaby]]:''' Communicating with MMO players is like trying to speak sign language through a hole in a bathroom wall: Everyone on the other side of it is confused, is angry, or only came here to suck.\ |
| 230 | \ |
| 231 | '''[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-12-most-deeply-unsexy-halloween-costumes_p2/ Seanbaby]]:''' Publicly strapping an inflatable woman to your crotch is what’s known in the penis community as a “retirement ceremony”.\ |
| 232 | \ |
| 233 | '''Seanbaby:''' You’re dressed as a pun only child pornographers and Family Circus fans would enjoy. That’s officially the worst Venn diagram a person can be in the center of, and you’re trying to entertain that person? Fuck you, Happy Camper.\ |
| 234 | \ |
| 235 | '''Seanbaby:''' Ann swings and misses at cute on a supernatural scale. If she tried to tell her grandchildren about a new puppy, her mouth would wordlessly spray diarrhea.\ |
| 236 | \ |
| 237 | '''[[https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-annoying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-being-parent Seanbaby]]:''' Gerber baby cereal is basically white rice flour garnished with troubling chemicals. Metabolically speaking, it's like chugging butterscotch pudding, and there are only three sane reasons for that. One: Make your baby too large for hawks to carry away. Two: Disguise it as an emotional support pig so you can bring it into a strip club. Three: Pudding laundering, but I'm way off-subject again.\ |
| 238 | \ |
| 239 | '''[[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime Ice King]]:''' What memories? I’m like a goldfish over here.\ |
| 240 | '''Jake:''' In what way, exactly?\ |
| 241 | '''Ice King:''' Huh? Oh hey, Jake. [{{Beat}}] '''''WHERE AM I??'''''\ |
| 242 | \ |
| 243 | '''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]:''' But still, a lot of you will claim that I'm one of those people that says "George Lucas ruined my childhood. Now that's just crazy talk. George Lucas didn’t ruin my childhood; fucking polio did!\ |
| 244 | \ |
| 245 | '''[[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Sokka]]:''' My first girlfriend turned into the moon.\ |
| 246 | '''Zuko:''' ({{beat}}) That’s rough, buddy.\ |
| 247 | \ |
| 248 | '''Creator/CarrieFisher:''' I’m what psychology journals refer to as ‘batshit crazy’. It’s a delicate mix of bipolar disorder, which I’m able to control through serious medication, and a completely untreatable case of I Don’t Give a Shit. Unfortunately, for a woman the side effects of this condition include: reduced employment, phone calls from terrified PR flacks and tremendous difficulty getting myself down to a weight that’s acceptable to some 35-year-old studio executive whose deepest fantasy and worst nightmare somehow both involve [[Characters/StarWarsLeiaOrgana me in a gold bikini]].\ |
| 249 | \ |
| 250 | '''Creator/PattonOswalt:''' Until you invent a lunch gun, I would like a failure pile in a sadness bowl.\ |
| 251 | \ |
| 252 | '''[[Literature/DeadBeat Carlos Ramirez]]:''' Everyone else who lets me ride on their dinosaur calls me Carlos.\ |
| 253 | \ |
| 254 | '''[[WebAnimation/StrongBadEmail Strong Bad]]:''' Wow. It’s like… even when we win, he wins.\ |
| 255 | \ |
| 256 | '''[[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor War Doctor]]:''' Oh, the pointing again. It’s a screwdriver! What are you going to do, assemble a cabinet at them?\ |
| 257 | \ |
| 258 | '''[[WebComic/ManlyGuysDoingManlyThings Commander Badass]]:''' Does it embarrass you at all that you just measured yer success with women by how much [[HoYay gay porn]] they’ve made outta you an’ [[IncestIsRelative yer brother]]?\ |
| 259 | \ |
| 260 | '''[[Series/OrangeIsTheNewBlack Red]]:''' All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power. And make a nice Kiev.\ |
| 261 | \ |
| 262 | [[WebComic/{{Homestuck}} DAVE]]: gamzee what happened here\ |
| 263 | DAVE: did you see what happened\ |
| 264 | DAVE: not gonna answer me huh\ |
| 265 | DAVE: youre just gonna keep manhandling johns evil mom and not tell me what jades doing under this house\ |
| 266 | DAVE: sweet jesus youre an awful dude |
| 267 | [[/folder]] |
| 268 | [[folder:Best ''Rick and Morty'' Moments]] |
| 269 | -->'''[[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty Rick]]:''' They're just robots, Morty! [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman It's okay to shoot them!]] They're robots!\ |
| 270 | [Morty shoots a guard, severely maiming him]\ |
| 271 | '''Morty:''' They're not robots, Rick!\ |
| 272 | '''Rick:''' It's [[MetaphoricallyTrue a figure of speech]], Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them.\ |
| 273 | \ |
| 274 | [Rick and Morty see [[ItMakesSenseInContext an animate Pop Tart exit a toaster-shaped house and drive off in a toaster car]]]\ |
| 275 | '''Morty:''' Okay, you got me on that one.\ |
| 276 | '''Rick:''' Oh ''really'' Morty, are you ''sure'' you haven't seen that somewhere in real life before?\ |
| 277 | '''Morty:''' No, no, I haven't seen that. I mean, why would a Pop Tart wanna live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be like the scariest place for them to live. You know what I mean?\ |
| 278 | '''Rick:''' You're [[ComicallyMissingThePoint missing the point]], Morty! [[HypocriticalHumor Why would he drive a toaster with wheels?]] I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house?\ |
| 279 | \ |
| 280 | '''Rick:''' Listen, if the situation keeps darkening, do yourself a favor and hop by Pirates of the Pancreas. Obviously I’m biased, but, I think it’s great, Morty. [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin It’s a bunch of pirates runnin’ around a pancreas]]. We don’t whitewash it either, Morty. The pirates are ''really'' rapey.\ |
| 281 | \ |
| 282 | '''[[AlternateSelf Riq IV]]:''' Earth Rick C-137! The Council of Ricks sentences you to the [[MindRape Machine of Unspeakable Doom]], which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you’ve known becomes impossible to grasp! Also every ten seconds it [[GroinAttack stabs your balls]].\ |
| 283 | \ |
| 284 | '''Rick:''' Oh, great adventure, buddy. Rick and Morty go to giant prison. You know, if somebody [[PrisonRape drops the soap]], it's gonna [[BaitAndSwitch land on our heads and crush our spines]], Morty. It'll be [[CrossesTheLineTwice really easy to rape us after that]].\ |
| 285 | \ |
| 286 | '''Morty:''' Are you kidding me?! [[RageBreakingPoint That's it, Rick!]] That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Y-y-you're a monster. [[GodwinsLaw Y-you're like Hitler]], but, but [[InsultToRocks even Hitler cared about Germany or something]].\ |
| 287 | \ |
| 288 | '''Jerry:''' Speak for yourself! Because it, heh, it sounds like you’re about to say Jacob is your lover.\ |
| 289 | '''Jerry's father:''' No, no, no, no. [[{{Polyamory}} Jacob is your mother’s lover. I watch them.]] Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always while dressed as Superman.\ |
| 290 | \ |
| 291 | '''Mr. Meeseeks:''' Just try to relax.\ |
| 292 | '''Jerry:''' ''You'' try to relax! Have you ever ''tried to relax?'' It is a paradox! |
| 293 | [[/folder]] |
| 294 | [[folder: An Entire Folder of (Sigh) ''Gravity Falls'' Quotes]] |
| 295 | -->'''Wax Figure Seller:''' I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price.\ |
| 296 | '''[[WesternAnimation/GravityFalls Stan]]:''' Twenty dollars?! I’ll just take ‘em when you're not lookin’.\ |
| 297 | '''Wax Figure Seller:''' What?\ |
| 298 | '''Stan:''' I said I was gonna rob you.\ |
| 299 | \ |
| 300 | '''Rumble [=McSkirmish=]:''' Dr. Karate! You killed my father again!\ |
| 301 | '''Dr. Karate:''' HNNNGHHHH!\ |
| 302 | '''Rumble:''' YOU TAKE THAT BAAAAACK!\ |
| 303 | \ |
| 304 | '''Stan:''' My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!\ |
| 305 | \ |
| 306 | '''Dipper:''' His name is Robbie V. and he’s kinda like my archenemy.\ |
| 307 | '''Rumble:''' Did he kill your father?\ |
| 308 | '''Dipper:''' Well, he’s dating the girl I like and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates.\ |
| 309 | '''Rumble:''' And then he killed your father!\ |
| 310 | '''Dipper:''' Uh, sure.\ |
| 311 | [later]\ |
| 312 | '''Dipper:''' Hey, Mabel. Have you met Rumble yet? He’s my new bodyguard.\ |
| 313 | '''Rumble:''' The child gave me a taco!\ |
| 314 | \ |
| 315 | '''Gideon:''' Ha! Stanford, you fool! You just signed over the Mystery Shack to li’l ol’ me! [dances] Hatachacha!\ |
| 316 | '''Stan:''' Uh, might wanna… take another look there.\ |
| 317 | '''Gideon:''' [reads the deed] “The Shack is hereby signed over to… SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN”?!?\ |
| 318 | '''Stan:''' Ah hahaha!\ |
| 319 | \ |
| 320 | '''Soos:''' Oh yeah, dude. My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think killed him or something, I don’t know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it.\ |
| 321 | \ |
| 322 | '''Stan:''' Y’know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!\ |
| 323 | \ |
| 324 | '''Soos:''' Dude, it’s me: Soos. This is for the zombies. [gives Dipper a shovel]\ |
| 325 | '''Dipper:''' Thanks.\ |
| 326 | '''Soos:''' And this is in case you see a piñata. [hands Dipper a baseball bat]\ |
| 327 | '''Dipper:''' Uh… thanks?\ |
| 328 | '''Soos:''' Better safe than sorry!\ |
| 329 | \ |
| 330 | '''Stan:''' But I swear, today we’re gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?\ |
| 331 | '''Dipper & Mabel:''' YAY!\ |
| 332 | '''Dipper:''' …Wait, what?\ |
| 333 | \ |
| 334 | [Soos is beatboxing]\ |
| 335 | '''Mabel:''' [rapping] My name is Mabel! It rhymes with table! It also rhymes with glabel! It also rhymes with… schmabel!\ |
| 336 | '''Soos:''' Dude, we should be writing this down.\ |
| 337 | \ |
| 338 | '''Stan:''' Darn beautiful men! Always… rooting through my trash—wait, what?\ |
| 339 | \ |
| 340 | '''Dipper:''' Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation?\ |
| 341 | '''Trembley:''' No sir! I ate a salamander and jumped out the window!\ |
| 342 | \ |
| 343 | '''Toby:''' Toby Determined, ''Gravity Falls Gossiper''. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?\ |
| 344 | '''Stan:''' Your microphone’s a turkey baster, Toby.\ |
| 345 | '''Toby:''' It certainly is!\ |
| 346 | \ |
| 347 | '''Chutzpar:''' I’m a manotaur! Half man, half, uh… half taur!\ |
| 348 | '''Dipper:''' So did I, like, summon you or—?\ |
| 349 | '''Chutzpar:''' The smell of jerky summoned me! '''JERKY!!''' [punches a tree, smashes a rock on his own face]\ |
| 350 | \ |
| 351 | [Stan goes to the Gleeful house and sees a cheery embroidered sign which reads “Pardon This Garden”]\ |
| 352 | '''Stan:''' I will pardon ''nothing!'' [slaps the sign onto the ground]\ |
| 353 | \ |
| 354 | '''Manotaur 1:''' I must confer with the High Council. [huddles up with other manotaurs] So. Teach him our man secrets or what?\ |
| 355 | '''Manotaur 2:''' He’s a human; I don’t like him.\ |
| 356 | '''Manotaur 3:''' I DON’T LIKE YOUR '''FAAAACE!''' [punches him, they all start brawling]\ |
| 357 | '''Dipper:''' I like these guys.\ |
| 358 | \ |
| 359 | '''Gideon:''' Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them! [{{Beat}}] This is Gideon, by the way.\ |
| 360 | '''Stan:''' [laughs] Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They’re fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago.\ |
| 361 | '''Gideon:''' I have them in my possession! You don’t believe me? I will text you a photo!\ |
| 362 | '''Stan:''' “Text me a photo”? Now you’re not even speaking English! [hangs up]\ |
| 363 | \ |
| 364 | '''Dipper:''' Behold, the horrible giant question baby!\ |
| 365 | '''Soos:''' Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions.\ |
| 366 | \ |
| 367 | '''Dipper:''' Stan, what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?\ |
| 368 | '''Stan:''' Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention.\ |
| 369 | \ |
| 370 | '''Stan:''' [killing zombies] The only wrinkly monster who harasses ''my'' family is '''''me!'''''\ |
| 371 | \ |
| 372 | '''Stan:''' What are you all doing here? And why was I dreaming of two brightly coloured, radical young men?\ |
| 373 | \ |
| 374 | '''Stan:''' Now can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I want to show you.\ |
| 375 | \ |
| 376 | '''Stan:''' At the end of the day, Summerween isn’t about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It’s a day when the whole family can get together in one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL!\ |
| 377 | [everyone laughs maniacally]\ |
| 378 | '''Soos:''' I ate a man alive tonight. |
| 379 | [[/folder]] |
| 380 | [[folder: Exclusively ''Community'' Quotes]] |
| 381 | -->'''[[Recap/CommunityS1E01Pilot Jeff]]:''' Duncan, you ''did'' seem less into integrity the day I convinced a jury that, when you made that U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, your only ''real'' crime was loving America.\ |
| 382 | \ |
| 383 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E01Pilot Duncan]]:''' Pretend you’re watching the athletic proceedings.\ |
| 384 | '''Jeff:''' You couldn’t ''stop'' me from watching them. There’s a guy trying out for the track team who is older than the game of poker.\ |
| 385 | \ |
| 386 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E01Pilot Duncan]]:''' I’m a professor! You can’t talk to me that way!\ |
| 387 | '''Jeff:''' A six-year-old girl could talk to you that way!\ |
| 388 | '''Duncan:''' Yes, because that would be adorable!\ |
| 389 | '''Jeff:''' No, because you’re a ''five''-year-old girl and there’s a pecking order!\ |
| 390 | \ |
| 391 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E01Pilot Shirley]]:''' You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class.\ |
| 392 | '''Pierce:''' Sexually harassing? What? That makes no sense to me. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Why would I harass somebody who turns me on?]]\ |
| 393 | \ |
| 394 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E01Pilot Jeff]]:''' Who cares if Troy thinks he’s all that? Maybe he is. You think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen? No, they’re trying to impress their high school’s prom king.\ |
| 395 | \ |
| 396 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E02Spanish101 Jeff]]:''' You know what today is? The two-week anniversary of my horrible first impression.\ |
| 397 | '''Britta:''' There’s a card for that?\ |
| 398 | '''Jeff:'''Not specifically, but if you think of grandsons as a metaphor for friendship, you’ll agree with this [[Franchise/{{Transformers}} Transformer]] here that it’s time for ours to become a man. By reading from the Torah.\ |
| 399 | \ |
| 400 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E03IntroductionToFilm Jeff]]:''' Hey! Troy sneezes like a girl!\ |
| 401 | '''Troy:''' How about I [[AccidentalInnuendo pound you like a boy]]—that didn’t come out right.\ |
| 402 | \ |
| 403 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E03IntroductionToFilm Gobi Nadir]]:''' Dreams are for sleeping.\ |
| 404 | '''Britta:''' You don't know that.\ |
| 405 | '''Gobi Nadir:''' It's clinically proven.\ |
| 406 | '''Britta:''' So's polio!\ |
| 407 | '''Gobi Nadir:''' You lost me!\ |
| 408 | \ |
| 409 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E03IntroductionToFilm Abed]]:''' Jeff, I think you should play the role of my father.\ |
| 410 | '''Jeff:''' I don’t want to be your father.\ |
| 411 | '''Abed:''' Good, you already know your lines.\ |
| 412 | \ |
| 413 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E05AdvancedCriminalLaw Britta]]:''' Real mature!\ |
| 414 | '''Chang:''' That’s right! We are mature! Too mature to sit in a class with a cheating, lying [[HypocriticalHumor poopface]]!\ |
| 415 | \ |
| 416 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS1E11ThePoliticsOfHumanSexuality Shirley]]:''' Annie, being a virgin in this day and age is nothing to be ashamed of! You’re like a unicorn.\ |
| 417 | '''Annie:''' I’m not a unicorn! I’ve had… relations… with my high school boyfriend. We did it to Madonna’s “Erotica” on the floor of his walk-in closet, but he wouldn’t let me look at it. He cried after. And during. He’s gay now.\ |
| 418 | '''Britta:''' [whispers] I think he was gay then.\ |
| 419 | \ |
| 420 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS3E05HorrorFictionInSevenSpookySteps Pierce / Mad Scientist]]:''' You fools! [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext By sewing my butt to my chest]], you’ve given me boobs I can touch all day!\ |
| 421 | \ |
| 422 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS3E10RegionalHolidayMusic Annie]]:''' Well, don’t bother this year. I’ll be at the movies with my bubbie.\ |
| 423 | '''Troy:''' You’re not taking… ''both'' of them?\ |
| 424 | '''Annie:''' Well, one’s dead.\ |
| 425 | '''Troy:''' *staring at Annie’s chest* ''[[FlatWhat What]].''\ |
| 426 | \ |
| 427 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS5E06AnalysisOfCorkBasedNetworking Annie]]:''' The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, “Let’s blow off steam,” and it’s trains!\ |
| 428 | '''Chang:''' I have an idea!\ |
| 429 | '''Annie:''' Chang, your last idea was to murder.\ |
| 430 | \ |
| 431 | '''[[Recap/CommunityS6E03BasicCrisisRoomDecorum Annie]]:''' You sound a little like Jeff.\ |
| 432 | '''Frankie:''' Jeff said I sound like Abed. I wonder if Britta thinks I sound like Chang. I assume Chang thinks I sound like distant explosions and crying babies—you know he’s unstable, right? |
| 433 | [[/folder]] |
| 434 | [[folder: ERB Quotes]] |
| 435 | -->'''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Muhammad]] [[UsefulNotes/MuhammadAli Ali]]:''' [[UsefulNotes/MichaelJordan You]] need to bounce back to North Carolina, kid, ‘cause your rapping sucks more than ''Film/SpaceJam'' did!\ |
| 436 | \ |
| 437 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory J.P. Morgan]]:''' Don’t panic, [[TheScrooge Scrooge]], but you’re about to crash! I’m J.P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past, who’s properly rocking the TabletopGame/{{Monopoly}} moustache! Yo, I own the railroad—I run these tracks!\ |
| 438 | \ |
| 439 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Vince Offer]]:''' Your boy [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington George]] chopped down trees, you couldn’t break a piece of balsa! Slap Chop your face, make a double chin salsa!\ |
| 440 | \ |
| 441 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Darth]] [[Franchise/StarWars Vader]]:''' You dumb motherfucker! Didn’t [[UsefulNotes/NapoleonBonaparte Napoleon]] let [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler you]] know? When you conquer Russia, better pack some fuckin’ winter clothes!\ |
| 442 | \ |
| 443 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Thor]], [[Myth/NorseMythology son of Odin]]:''' You can’t beat me! I will drop you like Greece’s GDP! Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades! Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies!\ |
| 444 | \ |
| 445 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Stephen]] [[Creator/StephenKing King]]:''' ''[[Creator/EdgarAllanPoe Masque of the Red Death]]''? Barely bloodcurdling. ''The Pit and the Pendulum''? Not even unnerving! Perving on your first cousin when she’s thirteen years old, now ''that’s'' disturbing!\ |
| 446 | \ |
| 447 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Alfred]] [[Creator/AlfredHitchcock Hitchcock]]:''' I’m the master—of suspense so intense! No defence against Hitchcock once he presents!\ |
| 448 | \ |
| 449 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Stay]] [[Film/Ghostbusters1984 Puft]]:''' I live so large, you can’t harsh my mellow! Just one step took me out the ghetto! You best be afraid of my marshmallow flows ‘cause Big Puft just turned all you bitches to toast!!\ |
| 450 | \ |
| 451 | '''[[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory Hannibal]] [[Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs Lecter]]:''' You prey on a prostitute and play with her body. I don’t mind that you’re naughty, Jack—I ''hate'' that you’re sloppy! |
| 452 | [[/folder]] |
| 453 | |
| 454 | !Stuff I Have Written / Plan to Write |
| 455 | [[folder: My Parodies]] |
| 456 | !![[Franchise/StarWars Stare Wars]] |
| 457 | * ''[[Film/ThePhantomMenace Episode I: The Random Premise]]'' — [[CloudCuckoolander Qui-Gon Jinn]] and [[OnlySaneMan Obi-Wan Kenobi]] rescue a spoiled, underage [[RoyalBrat queen]] against her will, dragging a [[TheyKilledKennyAgain remarkably resilient frogman]] and an [[TheChosenOne annoying child]] into their convoluted search for a narrative. Read the first chapter [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1666841/chapters/3537560 here]]. |
| 458 | * ''[[Film/AttackOfTheClones Episode II: Game of Clones]]'' — Anakin hits puberty in a big way, and generally ruins everything with his [[DoubleEntendre lightsaber]], ''and'' his [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin lightsaber]]. Padmé has trouble [[StayInTheKitchen getting anyone to take her seriously]], and [[TheAlcoholic Obi-Wan]] gets horribly lost trying to find a coherent narrative that remains elusive. Eventually they are drawn into a confrontation with [[strike:Lord Saruman]] [[CaptainErsatz Count Dooku]]. |
| 459 | ** ''[[WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheCloneWars Star Wars: The Cash Grab]]'' — The forces of the Republic and the Confederacy try to create as many new action figures as possible, while Anakin tries to get his new apprentice to stop dressing like a [[{{Stripperiffic}} stripper]] as they face an insidious new menace: '''PUBERTY.''' |
| 460 | * ''[[Film/RevengeOfTheSith Episode III: Everybody Dies]]'' — Anakin's concerns with Coruscant's healthcare system lead him to [[DisproportionateRetribution murder everyone]]. Palpatine becomes Emperor on a platform of Jedi murder and [[LargeHam chewing the scenery]]. Also there's some guy named [[GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere Grievous]], but who cares? |
| 461 | * ''[[Film/ANewHope Episode IV: A New Whiner]]'' — Poor Obi-Wan's peaceful retirement is put on hold so he can babysit another whiny ChosenOne, only this time [[PlotArmor he can finally die]]. |
| 462 | * ''[[Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack Episode V: The Sith Hits the Fan]]'' — Vader fucks everybody's shit up. Luke chills in a swamp with the last living Jedi, who has gone hopelessly senile. Han and Leia search for the only black guy in the galaxy. |
| 463 | * ''[[Film/ReturnOfTheJedi Episode VI: Ewok This Way]]'' — [[Franchise/IndianaJones Han]] and [[ActionGirl Leia]] go ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid3SnakeEater Metal Gear Solid]]'' on a bunker with some teddy bears, while Luke finally confronts the asshole responsible for every bad thing in this entire franchise, while getting in some quality father/son time. |
| 464 | ** ''Episode XMAS: [[Literature/AChristmasCarol A Sithmas Carol]]'' — On Life Day Eve, the Force Ghosts of Yoda, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi pay Darth Sidious a visit to show him the error of his ways. |
| 465 | ** ''[[ComicBook/DarkEmpire Dork Empire]]'' — Palpatine's back, he has a really big space gun, nobody gives a shit, and Luke and Leia finally realize [[BrotherSisterIncest they were meant]] [[{{Twincest}} for each other]]. |
| 466 | * ''[[Film/TheForceAwakens Episode VII: The Force Mistaken]]'' — Poor Han and Leia’s peaceful retirement is put on hold when a whiny little shit tries to kickstart a new galactic order. Also a desert-dwelling nobody tries to get a droid safely back to a band of plucky resistance fighters who are trying to blow up a big round thing… [[StrictlyFormula is any of this sounding familiar?]] |
| 467 | !![[Franchise/StarTrek Star Trippin]]' |
| 468 | * ''[[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Trekking Balls]]'' — Kirk, Spock, and the other ones explore new worlds where everything looks like papier-mâché rocks in front of a matte painting, and seek out new civilizations where everyone looks like human beings wearing ridiculous outfits. |
| 469 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekTheMotionPicture Star Trek: The Motionless Picture]]'' — Kirk gets his crew back together whether they want it or not, so they can all find new and interesting things to stare at. |
| 470 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Star Trek II: Trek Harder]]'' — The crew treks harder than ever before, because that one guy from that one episode is back to kick ass and chew scenery, and he’s all out of scenery! |
| 471 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock Star Trek III: The Search for Sequels]]'' — Look, we all knew Spock wasn’t going to stay dead. Oh and then Klingons happen. |
| 472 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Star Trek IV: Humpbacks to the Future]]'' — Spock and Kirk learn a very important lesson about species conservation, {{irony}}, and friendship. |
| 473 | * ''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Star Trek: The Reiteration]]'' — A new ship (with the same name) and a new crew (with the same problems) boldly go where no one has gone before. …again. |
| 474 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier Star Trek V: The Final Straw]]'' — This is it. No more Star Trek. That's the last one. |
| 475 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry Star Trek VI: Here We Go Again]]'' — Okay, I lied. Kirk and Spock lurch out of their wheelchairs to stop a pirate from ruining Space Glasnost, and Spock flips the fuck out. |
| 476 | * ''[[Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine Star Trek: Deep Spaced Out]]'' — Commander Sisko teaches a race of Jell-O people and their army of lizard men [[WeComeInPeaceShootToKill why you don’t fuck with humanity]]. |
| 477 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekGenerations Star Trek's Degeneration]]'' — Kirk and Picard enjoy a nice relaxing horseback ride while their franchise deflates around them. |
| 478 | * ''[[Series/StarTrekVoyager Star Trek: Herpaderp]]'' — Star Trek gets Lost (both InSpace and figuratively) as a bunch of people nobody cares about try to find their way—[[DistractedByTheSexy ooh look at Seven of Nine’s tits]]. |
| 479 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekFirstContact Star Trek With a Vengeance]]'' — Picard realizes he’s Bruce Willis and the Borg are all Alan Rickman. |
| 480 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekInsurrection Star Trek: Poor Reception]]'' — Picard defends some space hippies from some condom-headed bad guys and gets some poon. |
| 481 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekNemesis Star Trek: Rigor Mortis]]'' — Much like ''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard'', a bad dude enacts an unnecessarily convoluted plan for stupid reasons, an aging bald man does things he really shouldn’t, and a bunch of armed and combat-trained men prove really bad at shooting an aging bald man. |
| 482 | * ''[[Series/StarTrekEnterprise A Failed Enterprise]]'' — 150 years before Kirk, Captain What’s-His-Face and whomever set out on a bold exploratory mission in search of anybody who gives a shit. |
| 483 | * ''[[Film/StarTrek Star Trek: Dead Parent Edition]]'' — A different Kirk and Spock shoot things at other things to stop a crazy Romulan who wants to shoot everything. Also there are [[FanService titties]]. |
| 484 | * ''[[Film/StarTrekIntoDarkness Star Trek Into Uranus]]'' — Kirk and Spock can’t get their heads out of each other’s asses before a BRAND NEW VILLAIN who is [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial TOTALLY NOT KHAN]] fucks their shit up. Also there are [[FanService titties]]. |
| 485 | !!The [[Franchise/HarryPotter Wary Pooter]] Series |
| 486 | * ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone Wary Pooter and the Phenomenal Stench]]'' — Wary is taken away from a life of systematic child abuse and placed into an arguably more hazardous environment: Hogsnorts, the most dangerous school in the entire world. With his newfound friends Wrong Wheezy and Yerwhiny Ginger, he finds that learning takes a back seat to merely surviving (and finding the source of the mysterious smell that seems to permeate the school). |
| 487 | * ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets Wary Pooter and the Chamber of Sewage]]'' — Wary and friends wonder why in the hell Hogsnorts has four houses—Drippindork, Ravingclod, Shufflestuff and Slickerthan—when Slickerthan is so obviously evil. Shit gets real when someone opens the secret, ''evil'' chamber left behind by Slickerthan’s oddly toilet-obsessed founder. |
| 488 | * ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban Wary Pooter and the Picnicker of Asskaboom]]'' — The Ministry of Magic can’t figure out why inmates of their impregnable maximum-security wizard prison, Asskaboom (which is guarded by the absent-minded Dummentals), keep wandering off. Wary meets his sketchy “uncle” Serious Plaque, Wrong regrets changing clothes in front of his pet rat, and Yerwhiny gets [[Series/DoctorWho timey-wimey]]. |
| 489 | * ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire Wary Pooter and the Hormones on Fire]]'' — When Hogsnorts hosts the Try-Not-to-Die Tournament against Wurmstrangle and Boobatons, Wary discovers he likes Asian chicks, Wrong and Yerwhiny desperately try to escape the adolescent [[{{UST}} sexual tension]] strangling them both, and some guy named Farty Crotch kills [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] with the Really Stupid PlotTwist spell. |
| 490 | * ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix Wary Pooter and the Odour of the Penis]]'' — Wary meets a dippy hippy chick named Tuna Lovewood and finally gets to second base with Sho Thang. He spends the rest of his school year being a whiny nuisance to everyone around him. Oh, also the DarkLord Moldywart is back and some people die. But more importantly, [[{{Wangst}} Harry is sad]]. |
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