Line #64 SugarWiki/Janet


1	[[quoteright:350:[[Series/TheGoodPlace https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/the_good_place_everything_you_need_to_know_about_janet_822x421.jpg]]]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:Created by the Makers of Light, Darkness, and Everything.]]
3
4	[''"Ding" noise as Janet teleports in.'']
5
6	Hello. I'm Janet, and welcome to [[{{Heaven}} the Good Place]]!
7
8	I've been compared to a robot and a lady, but I am neither. I am a fully comprehensive, basic operational mainframe for the Good Place, and an anthropomorphized vessel for all of the knowledge in the universe, so ask me anything and I'll know the answer.
9
10	I was also created with the express purpose of making ''your'' afterlife as pleasant as possible, so ask for anything and I can conjure it.
11
12	Before we get started, I must remind you that the Neighborhood that we are in possesses a no-cursing filter, just to let you know. Watch. "Ash-hole", "son of a bench", "forked up." Ain't that fun? Also, if you could, leave your username by your questions and requests so I could keep a comprehensive record of everything that goes on in your Neighborhood.
13
14	----
15	! What would you like to ask her?
16
17	[[foldercontrol]]
18
19	[[folder:[=BackSet1=]]]
20	* Is there a way to make the star wars prequels good?
21	** General fan opinions vary, but the consensus is that George Lucas either should've stuck with his original draft for ''Episode 1'', or he should've tried harder to find a suitable director to replace him. Fun Fact: Most Star Wars fans would've gone to the Bad Place before we changed the system! :D
22	* What's your favorite movie?
23	** I don't require forms of entertainment the way people do, but I do enjoy nature documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman.
24	* Just to make sure, we ''are'' in the good place, right? This isn't some sort of [[IronicHell ironic]] version of the bad place?
25	** I'm sorry, I can only give you the information that's within my capabilities to do so. [''Disappears'']
26	[[/folder]]
27
28	[[folder:[=EvilerThanThou=]]]
29	* Can I have a coke?
30	** Sure thing! [''Conjures a bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola''.]
31	** Here you go. [''Conjures pure, well-regulated powdered cocaine.'']
32	* Can I have sex with you?
33	** I'm sorry, but since I lack any primary sexual characteristics, sex is impossible for me. However, I can make you a list of eligible people in the neighborhood who would be more than happy to do this. Don't worry about any [=STIs=] or any unwanted conceptions. Those things are for living people. Have fun!
34	* What is the meaning of life?
35	** 42. ...I'm just kidding. It's my hand as humor. What do you think?
36	[[/folder]]
37
38	[[folder:MasamiPhoenix]]
39	* What happens if an unstoppable force hits an immovable object?
40	** That's when all the Architects break for antimatter and donuts.
41	* What was the big bang like?
42	** It was like an unstoppable force hitting an immovable object.
43	* Not counting Jason and the Soul Squad, who's your favorite person in history?
44	** Creator/DarcyCarden. She would have qualified for the Good Place even before we changed the system.
45	* Do you think Jason and the Soul Squad is a good name for a band?
46	** I'll play the triangle. :D
47	[[/folder]]
48
49	[[folder:[=MikeK=]]]
50	* Some of us humans enjoy the feeling of being drunk, and use alcohol recreationally for this purpose. Have you ever deliberately handled magnets for similar reasons?
51	** Nope! My purpose is to provide assistance, and purposefully putting myself under the influence of magnets would go against that purpose.
52	[[/folder]]
53
54	[[folder:[=StarryNight05=]]]
55	* Hi Janet! I'm Starry. Can you help me with some homework?
56	** Hi Starry. I'm Janet. I would love to help you with your homework. However, you're in the Good Place! You don't have homework!
57	*** Aww, thank you! You are so nice! Can I give you a hug?
58	*** You're very welcome, and I would love a hug! [''Gives [=StarryNight05=] a hug.'']
59	* What's your sexual orientation?
60	** I am incapable of having sex. The things I have done with Jason don't really count as sex, but it's the closest we could manage. He compared it to licking a car-battery with a head full of pruno, but it made him happy, so I'm happy. [''Give a thumbs up.'']
61	*** So you're asexual then?
62	*** If you are referring to the human sexual orientation, then the answer is not straightforward. I am a Janet, and your human understanding of sexuality does not apply to me.
63	*** If you are referring to the form of reproduction, then yes! I can create beings using my mind.
64	[[/folder]]
65
66	[[folder:Unicorndance]]
67	* Do you know why Lucy Loud from ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'' can teleport?
68	** Lucy Loud is a fictional animated character, and is not bound by real world physics or logic.
69	* Do you like cats?
70	** Cats are pleasant animals! Would you like one? [''conjures a cat'']
71	* Have you seen my pet fish? He's a red Siamese Fighter and his name was Delta. He died.
72	** [''Ding''] Here he is.
73	* Can you do the chicken dance?
74	** Sure thing. [''Does the chicken dance, made awkward by the lack of music.'']
75	* Can you make it rain candy?
76	** Why yes I can [''Ding. Skittles starts pouring out of an overhead rainbow.''] You might want to use this. [''Hands you an umbrella.'']
77	[[/folder]]
78	[[folder:MikeNelsonMythril]]
79	* What instructions do I need to do to make you a Mii Character for my personal Nintendo Switch?
80	[[/folder]]
81
82	[[folder:SailorLyoko]]
83	* Is a skirt over leggings a fashion faux pas?
84	[[/folder]]
85
86	[[folder:[=EmiChannel=]]]
87	* So, essentially, I used to have dogs when I was alive. They usually died before the other came around. I just can’t pick one to get back, so, do you think you can get them all back?
88	* '''SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES FINALE''': [[spoiler:Good news, Janet. I have experienced EVERYTHING I could have experienced in the Good Place. Except, I don’t feel ready to go through the Last Door. So, I decided to work on some souls' afterlife tests!]]
89	[[/folder]]

Context SugarWiki / Janet