Line #25 Series/HistoryBites


1	[[quoteright:300:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/mv5bndcwytyzmzatmtq0zc00mmqyltlkotmtnwfhmtqwmtcyytu3xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyodaymjuwntc__v1_sy1000_cr007031000_al.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:300:The main cast.[[note]] Back row (L-R): Janet van de Graaf, Rick Green, Bob Bainborough; Front row (L-R): Creator/RonPardo, Teresa Pavlinek.[[/note]] ]]
3
4	''What if television had been around for the last five thousand years?''
5
6	Such is the premise of ''History Bites'', a Canadian SketchComedy series (1998-2003) created by Rick Green (of ''Series/TheRedGreenShow'' and ''Series/PrisonersOfGravity'') to explore and satirize history through the lens of current pop culture. Each episode opened with Rick explaining the topic and dramatically pushing a button on his remote control, "changing the channel" to begin the meat of the program.
7
8	The show proper is presented as what a bored channel surfer sees as he flips through programs like the news, ''Martha Stewart Living'', ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'' and ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' against the backdrop of historical events like the assassination of UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar, the popularity of the plays of Creator/WilliamShakespeare, the revenge of [[UsefulNotes/The47Ronin The Forty Seven Ronin]], the rise of Christianity, the invention of agriculture, and the shootout at Fly's Photographic Studio (better known as the gunfight at the OK Corral).
9
10	After the series ended, the show did five one-hour specials that removed the channel-surfing idea. Reruns of the series are shown on the Comedy Network and History Television.
11
12	The show avoided the NostalgiaFilter: Rick ended each episode claiming that injustice is connected to prejudice and ignorance, that advances in science and medicine make life today so much better than any point in history, and that History... Bites. click
13
14	A growing number of episodes may be viewed for free on [[https://www.historybites.ca/ the series' website.]]
15	----
16	!!'''This show contains examples of:'''
17
18	* TheAhnold: Charlemagne is presented in this manner.
19	* AnachronismStew: The show's premise is that television (and modern programs) have existed since the invention of agriculture.
20	* AppealToWorseProblems: The entire show is guilty of this trope, most notably in the "Neolithic Park" episode, where Rick Green essentially glosses over modern problems such as [[GaiasLament climate change]] in favor of stating that we should be grateful that we still have books, eyeglasses, and modern medicine, compared to the people in the past who endured the likes of famine and plagues. Makes one wonder if he really believes that the Black Death is really the only other option to climate-change-induced heat waves.
21	* ArtisticLicenseHistory: As a series that leans heavily towards TheDungAges trope, the writers will occasionally exaggerate for comedic effect.
22	** In the episode about Charlemagne, the Creator/MarthaStewart {{Expy}} claims that spices will make rotten meat taste better. By that point it was common knowledge that eating rotten meat was a good way to give yourself food poisoning. Furthermore, in the Middle Ages, only the rich could afford spices, and they were keen on eating the best-quality meat.
23	** In the episode centering around the Exodus, Rick Green claims that Hebrew slaves built the pyramids at Giza. They did not. In fact, the pyramids were built by free peasant laborers and craftsmen around 2560 BC, more than a thousand years ''before'' the Exodus is usually dated to (and it's no longer acknowledged as fact by modern secular historians).
24	** One episode set in Roman times has the anchormen claim Emperor Claudius has syphilis. Considering syphilis is a New World disease and therefore did not come into Europe until the last decade of the 15th century, it's highly unlikely that Claudius was even exposed to syphilis, much less suffered from it.
25	** An episode set in the 9th century has a sketch where a cartoon goat describes the type of chevauchee tactics [[AnachronismStew more strongly associated with]] UsefulNotes/TheHundredYearsWar. Rick Green has since owned up to this mistake.
26	** The episode on the French Revolution, set in 1794, has a priest character say that a man can divorce a woman [[ToiletSeatDivorce for any old reason like lack of cleanliness]] while a woman has to prove that her husband was insane or abusive to a priest and several witnesses. This may have been the case during the Ancien Régime, but beginning in 1792, the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loi_autorisant_le_divorce_en_France Loi autorisant le divorce en France]] legalized no-fault divorces, thus acknowledging that a marriage can break down through no fault of either spouse.
27	* ArtisticLicenseReligion: At least two episodes claim that medieval monks and peasants claimed that random bones belonged to Jesus. This never happened because Christian teaching states that Christ ascended into heaven corporeally.
28	** In an episode set in Spain in the year 1492, there is a ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}''-esque game show where one of the contestants answers one of the questions with "Protestantism". Not only is this answer stated to be incorrect in-universe, but in real life, Protestantism did not get its start until 1517, [[AnachronismStew twenty-five years after the episode takes place]].
29	* AscendedExtra: The show's ''extremely'' low budget meant that the writers were often pressed into duty as extras, or as bit part players. Writer Danny [=DiTata=] (the diminutive, wild-eyed and usually-bearded redheaded guy) turned out to be pretty funny in a variety of small one-shot roles, and slowly, the roles started to get bigger. By the end of the series run, the now usually-shaven [=DiTata=] was often getting nearly as much screen time as the series regulars -- and he pretty much runs away with the French Revolution episode, thanks to his killer George Constanza impersonation.
30	* {{Blackface}}: An episode set in the United States in the 1880's features a ParodyCommercial for a minstrel show starring Willy White in blackface (as minstrel shows were commonplace in America in the 1880's).
31	* BreadEggsMilkSquick: "... and nookie."
32	* BrokenAesop: The episode "Xena's Evil Sister" was meant to use the story of UsefulNotes/{{Boudica}} to address violence against women. The trouble is Boudicca's revolt is a textbook example of TheRevolutionWillNotBeCivilized. She and her daughter admit that they killed Roman ''women'' by cutting off their breasts and ''[[BodyHorror sewing them to their mouths]]''!
33	* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: When Rollo and his men start attacking France, the French king, Charles the Simple, decides to punish the Vikings by arranging for them to occupy Normandy, essentially forcing them to fight off attacks from their own people.
34	* DeliberateValuesDissonance / TheDungAges: A major theme of the series is playing both tropes for BlackComedy.
35	* EstablishingSeriesMoment: So, you want to do a show about TV shows in days of yore, except you don't have a very high opinion of days of yore. What do you do your first episode on? Why, TheBlackDeath, of course!
36	* EveryEpisodeEnding: Rick comes back to talk about the subject matter and how it influenced history, and [[TitleDrop history bites]].
37	* HeManWomanHater: There are a few characters of this type, given the nature of the series, but the one that takes the cake is Rick Green's GrumpyOldMan character (in the episode about King David), who argues that AllWomenAreLustful, "[[AbhorrentAdmirer even the ugly ones!]]"
38	* HistoricalVillainUpgrade: This show, not surprisingly, does this to a number of {{Historical Domain Character}}s, most notably:
39	** In "Saladin's Last Stand", Frederick Barbarossa, known for being a shrewd political figure, is [[{{Flanderization}} Flanderized]] as a bloodthirsty warrior who killed all the people of Crema after successfully besieging it. Never mind that most of the civilian victims had actually died of hunger and disease, and that some 20,000 survivors were allowed to leave with whatever they could carry ''before'' Crema was burnt to the ground.
40	* HospitalGurneyScene: The agriculture episode featured a medical drama. Teresa Pavlinek's doctor character ordered [[TheAllSolvingHammer a trepanning for every patient]], no matter what the diagnosis.
41	* HurricaneOfPuns: The priest of Pan making an infomercial for lesser-known Greek gods.
42	* InTheStyleOf: Some episodes had the "main plot" done in a specific style; for example, the investigation and prosecution of the murder of Thomas Beckett was presented as an episode of ''Series/LawAndOrder'', while Sir UsefulNotes/IsaacNewton's episode was done like ''Film/ABeautifulMind''.
43	* KentBrockmanNews: The first two seasons have episodes centered around news broadcasts of various important historical events. Much of it blatantly falls into StrawmanNewsMedia.
44	* TheMagnificent: The episode about Leif Erickson has Creator/DavidLetterman list the Top 10 Worst Nicknames for a Viking Leader:
45	-->Number 10: Leif the [[BornUnlucky Really-Unlucky-to-the-Point-of-Being-Cursed]]\
46	Number 9: Thor the [[GreenAroundTheGills Queasy]]\
47	Number 8: Eric the [[UnmanlySecret Pink]]\
48	Number 7: Dennis the [[CreepyCrossdresser Cross-Dresser]]\
49	Number 6: Bjarni the [[PlotAllergy Lactose-Intolerant]]\
50	Number 5: Norbert the [[NiceGuysFinishLast Nice]]\
51	Number 4: Thormod the [[{{Gasshole}} Flatulent]]\
52	Number 3: Asgard the [[EndearinglyDorky Dork]]\
53	Number 2: Ethelred the [[TooDumbToLive Idiot-Who-Drills-Holes-In-Ships-at-Sea-When-the-Rest-of-the-Crew-Are-Asleep]]\
54	Number 1: [[AerithAndBob Debbie]]
55	* ManOfAThousandVoices: Ron Pardo. Close your eyes and you'd swear that that's really [[Series/HockeyNightInCanada Don Cherry]] or Dennis Miller. Pardo credits his skills to watching too much television as a child.
56	* MedievalMorons: Timmy the ''Jeopardy!'' contestant was a dirt-farming village idiot, but [[ObfuscatingStupidity he got at least one right answer]].
57	* NatureIsNotNice: The episode about the invention of farming shows that Rick Green himself believes in this trope, and [[ArtisticLicenseHistory he claims that most early humans either got old or died by age thirty to try to prove it]].[[note]]Ironically, most of what he describes at the end of that episode (famines, epidemics, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking bad teeth]], etc.) actually occurred ''after'' the Neolithic Revolution.[[/note]]
58	* NoPartyLikeADonnerParty: The actual Donner Party is the subject of one episode, presented as a parody of ''Series/{{Survivor}}''.
59	* OfCorpseHesAlive: UsefulNotes/QinShiHuangdi's advisers tried to fool the media with this ploy, covering his head with a burlap sack with a face drawn on it and (historically) covering up the smell of his decomposition with rotting fish. It looked like it worked.
60	* OldTimeyAnkleTaboo: In one episode, Mary Queen of Scots shows off her bare ankles, complete with the TV blurring out her ankles ''and'' the audience calling her an "ankle-whore."
61	* OnionTears:
62	-->'''Alex Trebek:''' This ancient statue made Michelangelo weep uncontrollably. ''(Timmy pushes his buzzer)'' Timmy.\
63	'''Timmy:''' What are the Three... Onions?\
64	''(we hear a wrong answer sound effect)''\
65	'''Alex Trebek:''' No!
66	* OverlyLongGag: The episode about Isaac Newton involves Dr. Phil giving ''many'' synonyms for prostitute when one of his clients declares that she doesn't want her sister to become a prostitute.
67	* ParodyCommercial: Given the premise, commercials showcasing music albums, medicine, and commemorative items are a constant.
68	* PrideBeforeAFall: Leonard the ''Jeopardy!'' contestant always responded with a smug grin and condescension in his voice, which evaporated quickly when the host rejected his response.
69	* {{Pun}}: The TV Guide listings during the show.
70	* PunnyName:
71	** The Zamboni family cleaned the Colosseum's arena floor between bouts in one episode; puns were rare among episode titles, but there were some, like "Bjarney & Friends" (Norse settlers in North America), "Cleo Can Kiss My Asp" (Cleopatra/Marc Antony/Octavian triangle), and "My Pharaoh Lady" (Pharaoh UsefulNotes/{{Hatshepsut}}).
72	** In the episode on the [[NoPartyLikeADonnerParty Donner Party]], a recently-deceased wagon driver is named Berger. Which naturally leads to his on-camera eulogy being a [[HurricaneOfPuns long string of food puns]].
73	* SidetrackedByTheAnalogy: A journalist interviewing an early Christian misinterprets the metaphors in play and concludes that Christianity is [[ImAHumanitarian a cannibal cult]].
74	* SlidingScaleOfIdealismVsCynicism: Definitely on the cynical side.
75	* StrawmanNewsMedia: One notable example is the Black Death episode, where one of the anchormen claims that Jewish rabbis are spreading the plague by poisoning the wells. Terrible news reporting! If ''History Bites'' were real, medieval anchormen would never have been allowed to admit that they believe conspiracy theories about the Black Death, even if they did.
76	* SuicideAsComedy: "Love and Death" takes place in 1780 and focuses on the ''[[Literature/TheSorrowsOfYoungWerther Werther]]'' fandom, which is treated like the ''Star Trek'' fandom. "Live long... posthumously."
77	* TakeThat: [[Creator/DavidLetterman "And the number one easiest foe of]] [[Literature/TheOdyssey Odysseus]]: [[EveryYearTheyFizzleOut The Toronto Maple Leafs."]]
78	* TangledFamilyTree: In "The Filthy Stinking Rich", the penchant of the Rothschild family for marrying within the family throughout the 1800s to keep their wealth from being scattered among countless sons-in-law and daughters-in-law is depicted in a sketch in which Charlotte Rothschild shows her family album to her fiance and first cousin Anselm Rothschild - while he rolls his eyes and repeatedly points out that they're also ''his'' family.
79	-->'''Charlotte:''' If we're gonna be married, you'll ''have'' to know my family. And ''here'' are miniature paintings of some of them! ''(flips through book)'' Now ''there'' is my uncle Amschel...\
80	'''Anselm:''' ''(sighs)'' I ''know'', he's my uncle ''too'', oh my ''God''...\
81	'''Charlotte:''' Oh, wait 'til you meet him, you'll love him!\
82	'''Anselm:''' ''Met'' him, hate him, oh my ''God'', he's my uncle too...\
83	'''Charlotte:''' He lives in...\
84	'''Anselm:''' ''Frankfurt'', go there all the time, hate it, oh my ''God''...\
85	'''Charlotte:''' ''(turns to another page)'' Oh, my cousin Mayer! Oh, that little face... ''(turns to next page)'' And my cousin Edmond...\
86	'''Anselm:''' ''My'' cousins, ''my'' nephews, oh my ''God'', ''(begins slapping himself across the face in despair)'' cousins, nephews, cousins, nephews, oh my ''God''...\
87	'''Charlotte:''' ''(furrows her brow in confusion)'' Wait... who is this funny-looking little guy? 'S one of my cousins?\
88	'''Anselm:''' Uh... it's ''me'', okay? Oh my ''God''...\
89	'''Charlotte:''' ''(disappointed)'' Oh... yeah. ''(gasps in delight)'' And this is Sal!\
90	'''Anselm:''' Your uncle, my dad...\
91	'''Charlotte:''' Oh, and Nathan!\
92	'''Anselm:''' ''My'' uncle, ''your'' dad, oh my ''God'', so ''stupid''...\
93	'''Charlotte:''' And there is my uncle James!\
94	'''Anselm:''' Uh, ''yeah'', uncle ''James'', I ''know'', uncle ''James'', he's got the maid Elsa, favourite colour blue, he's got that stupid yappy little dog, oh my ''God''...\
95	'''Charlotte:''' He's married to my cousin!\
96	'''Anselm:''' My ''sister''...\
97	'''Charlotte:''' ''Ew!'' He married his ''niece!?'' Why do families do that sort of thing?\
98	'''Anselm:''' ''(voice rising in anger)'' Maybe because their parents ''don't give them any '''choice!!'''''
99	* ThatCameOutWrong: From Creator/DavidLetterman's Top 10 Rejected Brand Names for Roasted Dormice:
100	-->'''David Letterman''': At Number 7, Dijon Mouse-turd!\
101	'''Paul''': ''(disgusted)'' Oh! No! You wouldn't wanna eat ''that''!
102	** And when Creator/LarryKing is interviewing an Egyptian architect on pyramids and mastabas:
103	-->'''Larry King''': You know, as a young boy, I was very interested in the process of building these mastabas.\
104	'''Egyptian Architect''': Mmm... mastaba-tion.\
105	'''Larry King''': ''({{Beat}})'' Mm-hm. You can see why we got away from building those.
106	* UnfortunateNames: Bob Bainborough's anchorman characters tended to these, such as "Intellectus Minimus".
107	* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Rick Green at the end of the episode about Shakespeare: "History... verily... doth bite."

Context Series / HistoryBites