Line #127 Quotes/ImAHumanitarian


1	%%Remember that the no real life rule applies to the quotes page as well.
2	[[foldercontrol]]
3
4	[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
5
6	->'''Ryujiro:''' Heh. So, what're you in here for?\
7	'''Firo:''' Huh? Oh, uh. I messed some people up bad.\
8	'''Ryujiro:''' That's not what I'm talking about, buddy. That's not it at all.\
9	'''Firo:''' Huh?\
10	'''Ryujiro:''' What I mean is, what happened after that? You had to have done something after that to get yourself a ticket here.\
11	'''Firo:''' Oh, uh. I messed some guards up bad, too.\
12	'''Ryujiro:''' Huh...\
13	'''Firo:''' What, you don't believe me? You don't think I could do it?\
14	'''Ryujiro:''' Hah! You too, eh? Yeah, I get whatcha mean. You're in here for the same thing as me.\
15	'''Firo:''' ...You too?\
16	'''Ryujiro:''' Yup. Well, in my case, there was this guard who pissed me off, so I gave his neck a little chomp. You understand, right?\
17	'''Firo:''' ...\
18	'''Ryujiro:''' Heheh! Hey, ever heard of ''odorigui?'' It's this way of eating the Japanese have -- you bite down on your food while it's still alive and moving. The feeling of something live squirming against your tongue, against your teeth as you bite down... It just all comes together with the salty taste of blood and makes it so incredible!\
19	'''Firo:''' Yeah, okay. I think I've heard enough.\
20	'''Ryujiro:''' Whoa, whoa, hear me out here. I mean, I think about it right now and... Damn, that feeling! That tearing sensation as my teeth snag against skin! The taste of iron flooding into my mouth! The sound of the guard screaming and the pain of the clubs hitting my head making the perfect seasoning... Delicious! It was so great I thought I'd died and gone to heaven!
21	-->-- ''Literature/{{Baccano}} 1934 - Alice in Jails''
22
23	->You will become sushi
24	-->-- '''Simon''', ''Literature/{{Durarara}}''
25
26	->Could everyone stop eating, please? You're eating the guest of honor.
27	-->-- '''Fran Madaraki''', ''Manga/FrankenFran''
28
29	->Can I eat him?
30	-->-- '''[[VillainousGlutton Gluttony]]''', ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist''
31
32	[[/folder]]
33
34	[[folder:Comic Books]]
35
36	->Yum, yum. Dim sum. Chinese food made from real Chinese. [[PersonOfMassDestruction All of them]]. I guess someone should have yelled "[[{{Pun}} Peking...]] ''[[{{Pun}} Duck!"]]'' (''BURP'') Okay, Joker, you've wiped out the People's Republic of China. What are you going to do next? And the first one of you who even thinks "[[ImGoingToDisneyWorld I'm going to Happyland]]" gets to be dessert...
37	-->-- '''ComicBook/TheJoker''', ''ComicBook/EmperorJoker''
38
39	->'''Filemón:''' Cowpatland? But that's the land of the savage! Where explorers are eaten raw... \
40	'''Super:''' Well, some progress has been made... Now they are fried first!
41	-->-- ''ComicBook/MortadeloYFilemon'', "Fórmula Uno"
42
43	->''"I am not adverse to the taste of human flesh, sir."''
44	-->--'''ComicBook/VandalSavage''', ''ComicBook/FinalCrisis''
45
46	->''"[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} You]] stupid cow! I'll eat you myself!"''
47	-->-- '''Dolok''', ''ComicBook/WayOfTheWorld''
48
49	->''"Tell me, are these humans edible?"''
50	-->-- '''Mad Harriet''', ''ComicBook/SupermanSupergirlMaelstrom''
51	[[/folder]]
52
53	[[folder:Fan Works]]
54
55	->[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCH]], I EAT PEOPLE!
56	-->-- '''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged''
57
58	->"You Are What You Eat!" proclaimed an ad for Soylent Green.
59	-->-- ''Fanfic/Plan7Of9FromOuterSpace''
60
61	-> “Romeo wasn’t talking to you, Hobbes.” Marco looks at Tobias again. “If he’s this out of it, he’s probably going to end up killing and eating someone in the middle of the night.” \
62	“I’ll lock him in my room tonight,” Tobias says. “And anyway, if he eats my uncle it’ll be no great loss.” \
63	“I don’t wanna eat any humans,” Jake whines. “Humans taste gross. They’re all covered in shampoo and detergent and stuff.” \
64	Marco and Tobias digest this tidbit in silence for several seconds. And then they exchange a glance with each other and decide they’re both going to forget they ever heard that. \
65	“Plus,” Jake continues, utterly unaware, “There’s testos… tosser… tessosserone.” He squints at Marco as if they are much further than six inches apart. “Girl deer taste better. ‘cause hormones.” \
66	“Thank you,” Marco says solemnly, “ever so much, for making sure the rest of us share in the urge to puke our guts out. Really.” \
67	“Shit like this the reason I’m a vegetarian,” Tobias mutters.
68	-->-- "What if Jake was stuck in morph?", ''Fanfic/AllAssortedAnimorphsAUs''
69	[[/folder]]
70
71	[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
72
73	->Well, listen up, sonny Jim. [[EatsBabies I ate a baby!]] Oh, aye! Baby, the other, other white meat! Baby, it's what's for dinner!
74	-->-- '''FatBastard''', ''Film/AustinPowersTheSpyWhoShaggedMe''
75
76	->You don't understand... I've seen it. I've seen it happening. The ocean is dying, the plankton is dying. It's people! Soylent Green is made out of people. They're making our food out of people. Soon, they'll be breeding us like cattle for food! You gotta tell 'em! Listen to me, Hatcher! You gotta tell 'em ''SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!'' We gotta stop them! Somehow! Listen! Listen to me... ''PLEASE!!''
77	-->-- '''Robert Thorn''', ''Film/SoylentGreen''
78
79	->''"Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc."''[[note]]"We Gladly Feast on Those Who Would Subdue Us."[[/note]]
80	-->-- '''Addams Family Creed''', ''Film/TheAddamsFamily''
81
82	->I'm a cannibal, hombre! We're gonna fucking eat your ass!
83	-->-- '''Danny [=McBride=]''', ''Film/ThisIsTheEnd''
84
85	->''"Heading down for a midnight snack... and I can guess what kind."''
86	-->--'''Marv''' on '''Kevin''', ''Film/SinCity''
87
88	->''"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."''
89	-->-- '''Hannibal Lecter''', ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs''
90
91	->'''Meg Mucklebones''': What a fine fat boy you are, Jack!\
92	'''Jack o' the Green''': You don't really mean to eat me, do you, ma'am?\
93	'''Meg''': Oh, indeed I do!
94	-->--''Film/Legend1985''
95
96	->''"She was so sweet, I could eat her brains like jam!"''
97	-->--'''Blunder''' on '''Princess Lily''', ''Film/Legend1985''
98
99	[[/folder]]
100
101	[[folder:Literature]]
102
103	->"Aren't you the chap that I found boiling down some rebel skulls in Bikili last year?" I asked.\
104	He fidgeted nervously.\
105	"Yes, sir."\
106	"Well, beat it, my boy. I don't want your type in my unit."\
107	"But sir, I promise you I've given it up!"
108	-->-- ''Congo Mercenary'' by Mike Hoare
109
110	->He took up with a band of mutie marauders who had a rather more liberal attitude to norms than most -- that is, they accepted him, instead of slow-roasting him over a fire and eating him...
111	-->-- ''Literature/DeathLands''
112
113	->I decided I would show [[HumanResources the livestock]] [[PetTheDog a friendly face]] before they were taken to the washroom; otherwise, the fat father and the weasel son would be the last people they would see before they were stuffed inside the sacks and chained up. When we reach the courtyard, I remember what the fat father told me last time, about how the meat tastes better with bruises under the skin. That's why they use the clubs. To tenderize the meat and get blood into the flesh. When he told me that, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I wanted to escape from Gruut Huis]] and [[DrivenToSuicide keep running into the poisonous mist]] until I fell down, until no one in the building could ever find me again. The residents don't need to eat the fresh meats. Like the staff, they can eat the soft yellow yeast from the tanks, but the residents are rich and can afford variety.
114	-->-- ''Doll Hands'', by Adam L G Nevill
115
116	->I was standing to one side of [[DangerousDeserter them]], praying as they were [[ShotAtDawn blindfolded]], when the eldest one spoke to me.\
117	"I have tasted it," he said. "I have eaten the Word made flesh. Now God is in me, and I am God. He tasted good. He tasted of blood."
118	-->-- ''[[Creator/JohnConnolly Mr Pettinger's Daemon]]''
119
120	->"Don't know shit about [[TheFairFolk fairies]]," [[OurOrcsAreDifferent Nauk]] admitted.\
121	Which wasn't entirely true. He had an old family recipe for braising them with southern spices, but Kilian was quarter-fae and might be displeased by the revelation. Humans always got all offended when orcs mentioned eating other humans, like eating each other wasn't the most natural state of Creation. You'd think they'd never eaten a rabbit, by the way their hackles got raised. You just had to accept that, to the Clans, everyone else might as well be rabbits.
122	-->-- ''Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil,'' [[https://practicalguidetoevil.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/interlude-gate/ Interlude: Gate]]
123
124	->Boy Pie might be better than Bird Pie. More meat and not so many tiny little bones!
125	-->-- '''Mr. Twit''', ''Literature/TheTwits''
126
127	->Finally after ninety-seven long days adrift Captain Pertwee was rescued, mercifully ending his miserable diet of rainwater and strips of sun dried Haddock which was actually far ghastlier than it sounded what with George Haddock being his former first mate.
128	-->-- '''Phillip Davies of Cardiff, Wales''', The Literature/BulwerLyttonFictionContest 2014: Adventure: Dishonorable Mentions
129
130	->Eat of the dead, les you be consumed by the emptiness. The living cannot teach the dead, but the dead can instruct the living.
131	-->--''[[Franchise/CthulhuMythos Necronomicon]]: The Wanderings of Alhazred'', by Donald Tyson
132
133	[[/folder]]
134
135	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
136
137	->'''Peralta:''' Are you a... cannibal, Caleb?\
138	'''Caleb:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well, that's not how I would define myself. If we're going by what I'm most passionate about, I would say that I'm a woodworker]]. Why did you think I was in protective custody?\
139	'''Peralta:''' I dunno, I guess I hoped you were another cop wrongly convicted of crimes you didn't commit.\
140	'''Caleb:''' Nope! I did all my stuff - and more! There's tons they can't even trace to me. [[BlackComedyCannibalism The secret is eating the evidence.]]
141	-->-- ''Series/BrooklynNineNine''
142
143	->'''Madame Vastra:''' UsefulNotes/JackTheRipper has taken his last victim.\
144	'''Jenny Flint:''' How did you find him?\
145	'''Madame Vastra:''' Stringy, but tasty all the same. I won't be needing dinner.
146	-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E7AGoodManGoesToWar A Good Man Goes to War]]"
147
148	->I know we've had our differences, Tormund. But just one time, before you die, you really ought to try... crow.
149	-->-- '''Styr''', ''Series/GameOfThrones''
150
151	->I ate my sister and my mom. My dad, too. Up in Fort Collins. Couldn't eat the dog, though. Only an animal would chow down on their own dog, don't you agree?
152	-->-- '''Ralph Greenwald''', ''Series/{{Scandal}}'', "The Belt"
153
154	->You're either the butcher or the cattle.
155	-->-- '''Gareth''', ''Series/TheWalkingDead2010''
156
157	->This isn't cannibalism, Abel. It's only cannibalism, [[AGodAmI if we're equals]].
158	-->-- '''Hannibal Lecter''', ''Series/{{Hannibal}}''
159
160	->'''Col. Sumner:''' ''(motioning to a nearby corpse)'' Looks like the food didn't agree with him.\
161	'''Wraith Queen:''' There we are quite different. WE don't require our food to agree with us...
162	-->-- ''Series/StargateAtlantis''
163
164	->'''Moss:''' I am so embarrassed, I cannot tell you.\
165	'''Roy:''' What happened?\
166	'''Moss:''' It wasn't a cookery class at all.\
167	'''Jen:''' What was it?\
168	'''Moss:''' He wrote it down wrong 'cause his English isn't very good, and it turns out he didn't want to teach me ''how'' to cook, he wanted to cook ''me''.\
169	([[{{Beat}} beat]])\
170	'''Jen:''' What?\
171	'''Moss:''' He wanted to eat me. I know, egg and my face were in alignment.\
172	'''Jen:''' He wanted to eat you?\
173	'''Moss:''' Yes.\
174	'''Roy:''' (gasps) He's one of those German cannibals.\
175	'''Moss:''' He is and he was such a nice man.\
176	'''Roy:''' Oh, was he?\
177	'''Moss:''' Yeah, he was a [[ShoutOut fine young cannibal]].
178	-->-- ''Series/TheITCrowd'', "Moss and the German"
179
180	->''"You'll never know true power until you've tasted the testicles of a man who has wronged you."''
181	-->--'''Santiago''', ''Series/CowboyBebop2021''
182
183	[[/folder]]
184
185	[[folder:Music]]
186
187	->Living in the woods (Creator/ShiaLaBeouf),\
188	Killing for sport (Shia [=LaBeouf=]),\
189	Eating all the bodies,\
190	Actual cannibal Shia [=LaBeouf=]!
191	-->--'''Rob Cantor''', ''Music/ShiaLaBeoufLive''
192
193	[[/folder]]
194
195
196	[[folder:Newspaper Comics]]
197
198	->My Soylent Green came out lumpy.
199	-->-- '''Pam''', ''ComicStrip/BrewsterRockitSpaceGuy''
200
201	[[/folder]]
202
203	[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]
204
205	->Cannibalism. Imagine that: chowing down on another human being. You gotta be all out of beef jerky, man. You gotta be really fucking hungry. But it happens, doesn't it? Still happens to this day. A bunch of people stranded in the wilderness run out of pop tarts, gotta eat something... Might as well be Steve! And by the way, how do you decide who to eat first? How do you decide who's first on the barbecue rack? Do you pick on the little guy because he's skinny and he can't fight back, or do you all gang up on the bodybuilder because he's got a lot of steaks and chops on him?
206	-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', "Extreme Human Behavior"
207
208	[[/folder]]
209
210	[[folder:Video Games]]
211
212	->[[Literature/PeterPan Tick tock,]] feed the croc...
213	-->-- '''Killer Croc''', ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamAsylum''
214
215	->This one was a good one. Very nice to kill.\
216	Easy to cut with my knife, like to cut food.
217	-->-- My secret note #4, ''VideoGame/CryOfFear''
218
219	->Rend...\
220	Slaughter...\
221	Devour your enemies!\
222	There is no other way to survive. You cannot escape your hunger, Warriors of Purgatory!
223	-->-- '''Angel''' , ''VideoGame/DigitalDevilSaga''
224
225	->There is a meat sweeter than the most cornfed livestock. Most of you have tasted it. All of you have coveted it. [...] For our society to be truly elite, we must dine on the most delicious, the most exclusive food known to us.
226	-->-- '''Mortimer''', ''Videogame/FalloutNewVegas''
227
228	->Listen, sweetling. A New England professor says: "Cannibalism represents the most egregious violation of etiquette between host and guest." He says that, sweetling, but you cannot hear him. He's muffled, buried [[{{Wendigo}} in a distended belly]]. A clawed foot crushes his bloodied glasses.
229	-->-- '''The Buzzing,''' ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''
230
231	->It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks, and become one with all the people.
232	-->-- '''Chairman Sheng-ji Yang''', "Ethics for Tomorrow," ''VideoGame/SidMeiersAlphaCentauri''
233
234	->'''Spencer Jankowski:''' Fucker's got an appetite.\
235	'''Jin Sun-Kwon:''' I think he has an agenda. It's not just recreational - he's getting something out of it.\
236	'''Jankowski:''' Essential vitamins and nutrients?
237	-->-- ''VideoGame/FirstEncounterAssaultRecon''
238
239	->I've never eaten a homosexual before. I wonder if your meat tastes different~
240	-->--'''[[spoiler:Linda Simons]]''', ''VideoGame/OuijaSleepover''
241
242	[[/folder]]
243
244	[[folder:Web Animation]]
245	->'''Carl:''' Because we're friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together.\
246	'''Paul:''' That isn't friendship, Carl. That's sick.\
247	'''Carl:''' Well, then you're probably not going to like your birthday decorations.
248	-->-- ''WebAnimation/LlamasWithHats''
249
250	->''Looks like all the food is gone. You know what this means... IT'S OKAY TO EAT PEOPLE!''
251	-->-- '''Luis Suarez''', ''{{WebAnimation/The Champions\|2018}}''
252
253	->''I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR SOUTHERN COOKING! I'M EATING KNEECAP OR NOTHING!''
254	-->-- '''Dan Campbell''', ''WebAnimation/GridironHeights'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD7ijXsW2Gk Atlanta Falcons 2021 Schedule]]
255
256	->''"Did you know... many cultures consume blood for food, and that includes ''humans''?"''
257	-->-- '''Bob Velseb''', ''WebAnimation/SpookyMonth'', "Tender Treats"
258	[[/folder]]
259
260	[[folder:Western Animation]]
261	->'''Webby:''' Hot dog costumes!\
262	'''Huey:''' I'm sorry, what?\
263	'''Webby:''' You know, in case we get lost at sea and one of us-- probably Louie-- goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on! Louie ''hates'' hot dogs, so he probably won't eat us.\
264	'''Huey:''' Are you saying Louie would rather eat ''us'' than hot dogs?\
265	'''Louie:''' I ''do'' hate hot dogs.
266	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017'', "[[Recap/DuckTales2017S1E4TheBeagleBirthdayMassacre The Beagle Birthday Massacre!]]"
267
268	->'''Half-dead fat guy:''' ''(to Lois and Brian)'' Wait! You gonna eat that dead fat guy?\
269	''([[BrickJoke later]])''\
270	'''Stewie:''' I was just upstairs, and there's a half-dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy.
271	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
272
273	->'''Fry:''' My god, what if the secret ingredient [of Slurm] is ''people?!''\
274	'''Leela:''' There's already a drink like that, Soylent Cola.\
275	'''Fry:''' Oh. ''[beat]'' What's it taste like?\
276	'''Leela:''' It varies from person to person.
277	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "[[Recap/FuturamaS1E13FryAndTheSlurmFactory Fry and the Slurm Factory]]"
278
279	->'''Pud'n:''' Falling chickens from the sky! Now we don't have to eat each other to survive!\
280	'''Sperg:''' (''with Pud'n's limbs stuffed in his mouth'') Tough luck for you, kid.
281	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'', "Which Came First?"
282
283	[[/folder]]
284

Context Quotes / ImAHumanitarian