1 | ->''What if my bones were in a museum,\ |
2 | Where aliens paid good money to see em?\ |
3 | And suppose that they'd put me together all wrong,\ |
4 | Sticking bones on to bones where they didn't belong!\ |
5 | Imagine phalanges, pelvis, and spine\ |
6 | Welded to mandibles that once had been mine!\ |
7 | With each misassembled, the error compounded,\ |
8 | The aliens would draw back in terror astounded!\ |
9 | Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration,\ |
10 | The most hideous thing ever seen in creation!\ |
11 | The museum would commission a model in plaster\ |
12 | Of ME, to be called, "Evolution's Disaster"!\ |
13 | And paleontologists there would debate\ |
14 | Dozens of theories to help postulate.\ |
15 | How man survived for those thousands of years\ |
16 | With teeth covered arms growing out of his ears!\ |
17 | Oh, I hope that I'm never in such manner displayed,\ |
18 | No matter HOW much to see me the aliens paid.'' |
19 | -->-- '''Calvin''', ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'' |
20 | |
21 | ->"''We're Whalers on the Moon! We carry a Harpoon!''" |
22 | -->-- '''[[SuckECheeses Amusement Park Robots]]''', on the "history" of the moon, ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' |
23 | |
24 | ->''"It's like the people in the [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII Blitz]] who shook their fists at the sky and shouted, 'Come on, you [[UsefulNotes/AngloZuluWar Zulus]], do your worst!'"'' |
25 | -->-- '''Commander Henderson''', ''Series/{{Hyperdrive}}'' |
26 | |
27 | ->'''Homer:''' Are you sure you don't want to come? In a [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar Civil War]] reenactment, we need lots of Indians to shoot! |
28 | ->'''Apu:''' (''{{beat}}'') I don't know which part of that sentence to correct first. |
29 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "The Sweetest Apu" |
30 | |
31 | ->You contact an expert in Third City archaeology at the University. Excited, he invites you to their private museum, and shows you a lens of black glass. Its label reads: 'One of the Chalmsley Lenses. Ritual significance.' That's archaeologist for 'We have no idea.' |
32 | -->-- ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'' |
33 | |
34 | ->'''Tess''': What about all the dangers? Earthquakes, floods, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick sharknadoes]]? Feels safer inside, no?\ |
35 | '''Coulson''': OK, hold up. The whole ''Film/{{Sharknado}}'' thing, that's just entertainment.\ |
36 | '''Tess''': Who would put a shark inside a tornado?\ |
37 | '''Coulson''': They wouldn't; it's fiction, a movie.\ |
38 | '''Tess''': Yeah, well, like I said, we have pieces. |
39 | -->-- ''Series/AgentsOfSHIELD'', "Orientation Part Two" |
40 | |
41 | ->''"We're gonna take you back, to the year 1939 when Creator/CharlieChaplin and his Nazi regime enslaved Europe and tried to take over the world. But then an even greater force emerged, the Un. And the Un un-Nazied the world - forever."'' |
42 | -->--'''Time Masheen Narrator''', ''Film/{{Idiocracy}}'' |
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