Line #92 Music/PDQBach


1	[[quoteright:325:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/PDQ_Bach_3177.jpg]]
2
3	P. D. Q. Bach is a fairly obscure member of the Bach family (being the last, least, and certainly oddest of Music/JohannSebastianBach's 20-odd children) who lived from 1807–1742[[MerlinSickness (?)]]. As with much of his family, he began a career as a musician; unlike much of his family, he was both GiftedlyBad and extremely prolific. After his death he was promptly forgotten by history, and most of his compositions were suppressed by the Bachs to protect the family name; what we do know of him is primarily the work of one Professor Peter Schickele (July 17, 1935 – January 16, 2024) of the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople. Schickele spent much of his career not only researching the life of this obscure historical figure, but also discovering his works and performing them for modern audiences.
4
5	...Okay, fine, you got us: P. D. Q. Bach never existed. Schickele made him up as a [[DirectLineToTheAuthor disguise for his own compositions]], which are parodies of typical classical conventions and compositions. The results, though of questionable merit on purely musical terms, are [[SoBadItsGood unconventional]], [[AnachronismStew eclectic]], and quite popular on the comedy circuit, performed anywhere from high school campuses to the Boston Pops, long-time seat of famed composer Music/JohnWilliams.
6
7	----
8	!!PDQ's work provides examples of the following tropes:
9
10	* AffectionateParody: Of the entire genre of ClassicalMusic, playfully riffing on the genre's tropes and most famous compositions through the lens of a GiftedlyBad fictitious descendant of Music/JohannSebastianBach.
11	* AllThereInTheManual: ''The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach'' provides the backstory.
12	* AnachronismStew: A staple of PDQ Bach's work, incorporating jazzy licks and excerpts from 20th-century pieces into what are ostensibly 18th-century compositions.
13	* AntiChristmasCarol: ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYLPfUnzhLg Throw the Yule Log On, Uncle John]]'' is about the one drunk relative who always shows up to ruin Christmas dinner, in addition to gleefully abusing the comma for fun and profit.
14	--> ''Ten o'clock on Christmas morn and all the guests are coming to the door\
15	Ten o'clock on Christmas morn and Uncle John's already on the floor\
16	Though the weather's bitter cold there's not a frown to mar the festive mood\
17	Wait till they discover that old Uncle John has eaten all the food!''
18	* AntiLoveSong: ''My Bonny Lass She Smelleth'', ''My Jane'', "The Queen to Me a Royal Pain doth Give", and many many others.
19	* BerserkButton: The Prof's WTWP co-host Blondie is driven insane by Pachelbel's Canon (the station's call letters stand for "Wall-to-Wall Pachelbel"), almost DrivenToSuicide. Especially at a time when she's on the verge of being let go by the station's head.
20	* BestialityIsDepraved: Subverted. The final part of ''Oedipus Tex'' appears to advocate that sort of thing.
21	-->The moral of the story is of course,\
22	Don't love your mother, save it for your horse.\
23	You will be filled with great remorse\
24	If you give your mother love you should be saving for your horse!
25	* BigfootSasquatchAndYeti: ''Oedipus Tex'' casts a Bigfoot as the Sphinx.
26	* BilingualBonus: The titles of P.D.Q.'s pieces have meanings obfuscated by translation into pseudo-musical Italian, pseudo-Lutheran German, or pseudo-ecclesiastical Latin:
27	** "Come un pipistrello fuori dall' inferno" (finale of the "Howdy" Symphony) = "[[Music/BatOutOfHell Like a Bat out of Hell]]"
28	** "Ave Maria et Agnus Dei" (from the "Little Pickle Book"), literally "Hail Mary and the Lamb of God," actually sounds like "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
29	** "Fräulein Maria Mack" (also from the "Little Pickle Book") is none other than the PlaygroundSong "Miss Mary Mack."
30	** ''Black Forest Bluegrass'' uses German lyrics to express idiomatic English:
31	---> ''Blauer Gras und grüne Himmel / Sag mir, wo zum Teufel bin ich?''
32	---> Blue grass and green sky / Tell me, where the hell am I?
33	** One piece ends with a German "ShaveAndAHaircut", but the last phrase is "two please" ("zwei bitte"), which sounds like "two bits" to someone who speaks ''both'' languages.
34	* BizarreInstrument: The works of P.D.Q. Bach often require the use of unconventional instruments, like the "tromboon" (trombone with a bassoon reed, combining the disadvantages of both instruments).
35	** Or the "lasso de amore" (a flexible tube which is swung by one end, creating sound by air passing across the opposite open end, like blowing across the mouth of a bottle).
36	** He also uses standard instruments in bizarre ways. For example, in one concert Prof Schickele was seen to tuck the bow of a violin under his chin and move the violin back and forth across it. Later that evening he also played the violin as if it was a banjo.
37	* BoastfulRap: In "Classical Rap": "I'm the apex, I'm the best. I'm considerably better than all the rest."
38	* {{Bowdlerize}}: Each madrigal in ''The Triumphs of Thusnelda'' was published with slightly sanitized lyrics. The Biography mentions and complains about this, and gives permission to use the original words, which it includes.
39	* TheComicallySerious: Any musician performing P.D.Q.'s works.
40	* ContentWarnings: Parodied on the cover of ''Oedipus Tex & Other Choral Calamities":
41	--> Warning! Contains "Classical Rap"
42	--> Pathetic Advisory: Inane Lyrics
43	* DirtyOldMan: Can be implied by some of the titles of P.D.Q.'s works, such as ''Pervertimento'', ''Serenude'', and ''The Erotica Variations''.
44	* DynamicEntry: Until the early 1980s, Schickele's preferred method of arriving at his concerts (late and disheveled, as per his character) was to swing from the balcony onto the stage, with the goal of knocking over as many chairs and music stands as possible. This was replaced in later years with the somewhat more subdued method of running down an aisle and belly-flopping onto the stage.
45	* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: 'The 'Sanka' {{Cantata}}'' is mostly puns on the names of the people whose house they recorded it in. More bizarrely, the role of the discoverer was played by David Schickele as Sir Osbronk Chapie, Bart.
46	* ElSpanishO: The "Howdy" Symphony has a movement marked "allegro con mucho brio," meaning "lively, with lots of French cheese."
47	%%* EverythingsLouderWithBagpipes
48	* EverythingIsAnInstrument: A dog toy with a wind-up aspect that changed its pitch depending on how fast you pulled on it was once used as a major part of one musical piece. Other instruments have included plumbing parts, foghorns, balloons, a bicycle, the ''Polizeiposaune'' (a trombone with a siren stuck in the bell), the ''Pümpenflötte'' (a flute connected to a bicycle pump), the "Hardart" (a percussion instrument where every note was made by a wildly different object, from bicycle bells to rubber duckies to toy hoot-owls that raise their wings when you blow on them), and so on and so forth.
49	* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Schickele's definitive biography of P.D.Q. Bach is titled "The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach".
50	* EyeScream: PlayedForLaughs(!) in ''Oedipus Tex'': "As soon as Oedipus put out his eyes, he kind of wished he hadn't."
51	* FakeRadioShowAlbum: ''Report from Hoople: P.D.Q. Bach on the Air'' and ''WTWP Classical Talkity-Talk Radio''.
52	* FallingChandelierOfDoom: In the intro to the "Minuet Militaire".
53	* {{Feghoot}}:
54	** "So This Guy," the last movement of the "Knock Knock Cantata," offers one of these.
55	** There's also a sketch on the ''1712 Overture'' CD that turns out to be a long build-up to the punchline, "I've just always wanted to [[spoiler:give [[Music/BurtBacharach Burt Bach a rock]]]]."
56	** ''Oedipus Tex'' is a half-hour set up to deliver [[spoiler:The Eyes of Texas]] as the punchline.
57	* FirstWorldProblems: "Classical Rap" contains a number of these, from being badgered for charitable donations, to being unable to get tickets to a popular Broadway show.
58	* ForegoneConclusion: Since ''Oedipus Tex'' is ''Theatre/OedipusRex'' [[JustForFun/RecycledInSpace IN THE WILD WEST]], it's pretty clear what's gonna happen, and the opening GreekChorus figuratively and [[SpellingSong literally]] spells it all out.
59	* ForInconveniencePressOne: The track introductions from the album ''Two Pianos Are Better than One'' start out as a telephone menu, but get progressively more surreal:
60	-->''If you wish to hear this work as the composer wrote it, press 1.\
61	If you wish to hear it sung by Spanish monks who live in an isolated monastery called Our Lady of How to Package and Market Recordings, press 2.\
62	If you wish to hear it performed by members of the Bolshoi Capitalist Ensemble, press 3.\
63	If you wish to hear it played by caffeine addicts who bring it a good two minutes under the next longest performance, press 4.''
64	* FramingDevice: The ''Short-Tempered Clavier'' album is presented as Schickele's testimony at a congressional hearing against a constitutional amendment to prohibit performance of music more than a month old.
65	* FunnyBackgroundEvent: Those of P.D.Q's songs that aren't silly in their own right tend to have something odd going on in the background during the recording. For example, the ''Traumarai for Unaccompanied Piano'' was performed on the very piano that the composer used when writing it, in the home of its owner. During the performance, a baby starts crying, someone starts vaccuuming in the next room, and a kid turns on a stereo to a rock station.
66	** ''La Pucelle de New Orleans'' is recorded near an airport, is further interrupted by a passing train, and finally ends after criminals break into the studio, have a shootout with police, and set the building on fire.
67	** For the latter piece, the part where it’s easiest to hear the music is the main joke in the actual piece: A Dixieland band tries to replace the oboes, and has to be kicked out. This itself becomes a funny background event in live performances, as they try to sneak back onstage a few more times.
68	* GiftedlyBad
69	* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: The madrigal "The Queen To Me A Royal Pain Doth Give".
70	* GratuitousFrench: ''Octoot'' uses French for its movement headings, mainly so that it can use "tout" or "toute" as often as poosible.
71	%%* HookHand
72	* HollywoodToneDeaf: {{Inverted}}. The music itself is completely ridiculous, but is always performed by professional {{classical music}}ians and {{opera}} singers who play it totally straight.
73	* IHaveNoSon: In-universe, P.D.Q. dates are officially listed as "1807-1742?", so that the rest of the Bach family can deny that Johann Sebastian (died 1750) could possibly be his father.
74	* IncrediblyLongNote: Parodied at one point in ''The Stoned Guest'', when the soprano runs out of air and has to catch her breath, getting called out on it by the mezzo.[[note]]On the LP, you have to flip to side B to hear the end. The lyric is an extend "I" and it ends with the mezzo singing 'win!' [[/note]]
75	** In the final movement of "Three Chorale-Based Piecelets," the organist holds on to the final note way too long, after which Schickele proposes making it a federal crime for an organist to hold the last chord of a piece for more than 10 seconds.
76	* IncrediblyLamePun: Far too often, but worth particular mention is the "Knock Knock Cantata."
77	* InformedLocation: The University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople. There really is a Hoople, North Dakota, but it's a town of only about 250 people and it's located in the northeastern part of the state.
78	* IShallTauntYou: "The Echo Sonata for Two Unfriendly Groups of Instruments", in which the brass section sits in a balcony and does everything it can to screw with the woodwinds, such as ignoring their cue and playing "Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo."
79	* KazoosMeanSilliness: He often scored for kazoos in his larger-scale works, usually along with various other unconventional instruments. One set of program notes explains that though the kazoos used were modern, they were equipped with 18th-century tissue paper for the sake of authenticity.
80	* LargeHamAnnouncer: "New Horizons in Music Appreciation," Beethoven's Fifth Symphony with football-style color commentary.
81	-->"The crowd is getting very excited. The brasses have come in and the timpani and everybody, and it's extremely exciting! I think we're building up to a fugue!"
82	* LastSecondWordSwap: "The Art of the Ground Round":
83	-->Nelly is a nice girl, but Hannah is a '''(w)hor'''-rrible prude\
84	Paul is a policeman, but Peter is a '''pimp'''-ly and rude young man
85	* LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand: Occurs in the aforementioned "Echo Sonata", when the conductor, finally tiring of the brass players' shenanigans, pulls a gun on them.
86	* MoralityBallad
87	* MediumAwareness
88	* MundaneMadeAwesome: One of the pieces that Schickele himself admits to writing on these albums is ''Bach Portrait'', essentially a parody of Music/AaronCopland's ''Lincoln Portrait''. Like the original, it is a piece of orchestra music interspersed with quotations of J.S. Bach's writings... except the quotations are from letters in which Bach is complaining that he's not getting paid enough, or that a cask of wine he bought was damaged in shipping, among other completely banal topics.
89	--> '''Schickele''': "The man [J. S. Bach, not PDQ Bach] had only two things on his mind. One was music. The other was--" yelps as his support collapses under him.
90	* MusicalGag
91	* MusicalisInterruptus
92	* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: ''Report From Hoople,'' the fictitious campus radio broadcast on the third album, opens side II with Peter Schickele rushing in:
93	--> "Well, here we are with another program of fine music and P.D.Q. Bach. We start with a little of the latter as usual..."
94	* OverlyLongGag: Happens often in his music. For example, during the climax of the ''1712 Overture'' (obviously a parody of [[Music/PyotrIlyichTchaikovsky Tchaikovsky's]] ''1812 Overture''), the exact same chord is repeated 21 times before the orchestra stops to take a breath and continue.
95	* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: Some program notes for the ''Pervertimento'' note that, since its discovery, "...P. D. Q. Bach must be considered history's greatest late eighteenth-century Southern German composer of multi-movement works for bagpipes and chamber orchestra."
96	* OverlyPreparedGag: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2n4zqq6LJ8 Please, Kind Sir]]".
97	* ParodyNames
98	* PissTakeRap: "Classical Rap" describes the hardships of life in the city... on the [[FirstWorldProblems affluent Upper West Side]].
99	-->So we're making six figures here\
100	But I have to make one thing crystal clear:\
101	I have to laugh, and I have to scoff\
102	When I hear people calling us well-off.\
103	Anyone who thinks that we're sitting pretty\
104	Doesn't know what it's like in the big bad city.
105	* ProductPlacement: "Tragedy, Tragedy! (Drink Pepsi!) Tragedy, Tragedy!"
106	* ReadTheFinePrint: In the biography, P.D.Q Bach is said to have signed a contract promising him a stipend of five shillings, in exchange for which he agrees to "perform the duties incumbent upon the Organist of the Chapel [-if I feel like it-]." According to Schickele, this shows that P.D.Q. was not only a musical innovator, but also the first person to use fine print in a contract.
107	* ReferenceOverdosed: It's quite impressive how many later composers P.D.Q. was able to plagiarize from. Schickele usually "explains" this by suggesting that they were really plagiarizing from P.D.Q. Bach, knowing no one would ever call them on it. In the case of the "Erotica" variations lifting their theme from Beethoven's "Eroica" symphony, he claims that P.D.Q. was following the principle: "If you have to steal, steal from a composer who's deaf."
108	* RockMeAmadeus: P.D.Q. essentially made his whole career from this shtick.
109	* SameFaceDifferentName: Many P.D.Q. Bach albums include pieces composed under Peter Schickele's name. Though Schickele has written some more serious works, these pieces tend to be even more ReferenceOverdosed than P.D.Q.'s works.
110	* ShaveAndAHaircut: [[GratuitousGerman Zwei bitte!]]
111	* SincerestFormOfFlattery: Prof. Schickele has acknowledged his indebtedness to Music/SpikeJones in writing music with comedic elements and goofy sounds.
112	* SoBadItsGood: Invoked.
113	* SophisticatedAsHell: Much of the humor comes from bawdy jokes and "low culture" musical references performed by deadpan performers in a stuffy concert setting.
114	* SpoofAesop: The moral of ''Oedipus Tex'' is that bestiality is preferable over ParentalIncest.
115	* StylisticSuck: Peter Schickele is a Juilliard-trained composer and performer, but the level of unoriginality and poor music theory in PDQ Bach's work certainly makes it seem otherwise.
116	* TakeThat: Zig-zagged in a typically unique fashion, in the third album, ''P.D.Q. Bach on the Air.'' Schickele snubs Beethoven at one point. The next portion of the show is interrupted when ''The Eroica Symphony'' suddenly starts playing and gives Schickele a beat-down, after which he admits that "some of his Country Dances are very nice pieces."
117	* TranslateTheLoanWordsToo: The lyrics for "La Pucelle de New Orleans" supposedly include the line "Hinky dinky do you speak."
118	* TranslationConvention: P.D.Q. Bach's vocal works have most often been discovered in English translations. These were supposedly prepared by Jonathan "Boozey" Hawkes, a drinking buddy of P.D.Q.'s from Liverpool.
119	* TruckDriversGearChange:
120	** "Song to Celia" (a parody of Ben Johnson's eponymous poem and the song based on it, "Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes") has a none-too-steady chorus attempting modulations in various places and picking fights over the key with the accompanist. The last verse modulates 6 times, 4 of them on a single syllable, and the last 2 painfully scooped down and up.
121	** P.D.Q. Bach apparently had a taste for these, only moving one step ''down'' instead of up.
122	* ViewersAreGeniuses: The more you know about ClassicalMusic, the funnier you'll find the jokes. For example, the aforementioned Jonathon "Boozey" Hawkes is a reference to the British music publisher Boosey & Hawkes, something only a classical musician would know.
123	* VisualPun: The iconic poster for the 1980 ''Music You Can't Get Out of Your Head'' concert (shown above), the cover of ''The Wurst of P.D.Q. Bach'', and others.
124	* VocalRangeExceeded:
125	** The bass aria "Open Sesame Seeds" from ''The Seasonings'' is deliberately written to drop off the bottom of any singer's range for a little bit, then come back up to something reasonable.
126	** Actually achieved with an ''instrument'' in "Schleptet in E Flat Major". The second movement has the violin play a run that moves higher and higher to a point where the violinist cannot possibly play it correctly.
127	** In the final notes of ''Iphigenia in Brooklyn'', the "bargain countertenor" [[note]]so called because the part combines the ranges of a baritone, alto, and soprano in one musician[[/note]] must sing a G[[subscript:5]] followed by a G[[subscript:2]], three octaves lower, and well out of a normal countertenor's range.
128	* WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma: An entire song built around this: by moving the pause / comma around in the phrase, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYLPfUnzhLg Throw the Yule Log On, Uncle John]]'' becomes "Throw the Yule log on Uncle John."
129	* WestminsterChimes: The Fugue in A Major from "The Short-Tempered Clavier" uses this complete with [[WhenTheClockStrikesTwelve twelve o'clock chime]].
130	* {{Woolseyism}}: In-universe, the explanation for the lyrics to "Classical Rap".
131	* YiddishAsASecondLanguage: The refrain of "The Queen to Me a Royal Pain Doth Give" is repetitions of "Oy vey!"
132	* YourMom: ''The Art of the Ground Round'' has a verse not found on the LP, ''Who, oh Who'' where the three voices combine to sing “your mother wears army shoes.”

Context Music / PDQBach