Line #1 Music/KuntAndTheGang


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/kuntandthegang.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:Kunt in the flesh.]]
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4	Kunt and the Gang are a British comedy "band" (really one man known as Wayne Clements and an array of synths) whose work is primarily upbeat, catchy cheesy pop songs... about [[ThisIndexTouchesItself masturbation]], [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], sex, pubic hair and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking virtually every other puerile subject one could care to think of]]. With song titles such as "I'm Gonna Lick You Out", "The Bloke Up the Garage Fucked a Sheep", and "My Mum Found My Wank Mags", the tone of Kunt's work should be stunningly obvious to virtually anyone with a brain stem.
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6	Kunt released an autobiography, "i, Kunt: How I became, and remained, a minor Internet hit singer" in December 2018 after a successful campaign on Kickstarter.
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8	In 2020, Kunt released (with his new ''actual'' band, The Kunts) a PunkRock album, "Kunts Punk In Your Face". Their song "Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt" reached No. 5 in the charts in Christmas 2020; the follow up for 2021, "Boris Johnson Is Still A Fucking Cunt" also reached No. 5 in the Christmas charts. Their 2022 Christmas song, "Fuck the Tories", has so far reached No. 8 on the Christmas charts.
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10	----
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12	!! ''Kunt and the Gang'' provide examples of:
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14	* AbhorrentAdmirer: Kunt, to too many people to name. He describes Carol Vorderman as the love of his life though.
15	* AlbumTitleDrop: "I Have a Little Wank And I Have a Little Cry" is a line from the song "Wanking Over a Pornographic Polaroid of an Ex-Girlfriend Who Died", whereas "One Last Wank and One Last Cry" is the closing track from the album of the same name.
16	* AntiChristmasSong: Has an entire album of them called ''Kiss You Under the Cameltoe (The Christmas Singles)''.
17	* ArchEnemy: As of December 2021, the charity singer/[=YouTuber=] [[CharityMotivationSong LadBaby]], for a variety of reasons, mostly related to the run for [[UsefulNotes/AVeryBritishChristmas Christmas No. 1]] that year and Kunt's belief that these charity songs are really cynical grab for fame on [=LadBaby=]'s part.
18	* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: "You're A Pervert", which is about the ways an unnamed person is a pervert, asserts one of them is inviting in Jehovah's Witnesses when they call at your house.
19	* AuthorAppeal: Kunt generally writes simple ditties about things he likes or dislikes. Which, generally speaking, translates as sex, masturbation and Carol Vorderman.
20	* BadSanta: According to "Santa's Sack" Kunt as a child came downstairs on Christmas Eve to find Santa having sex with his grandmother.
21	* BeardedBaby: Has a song called "Jesus (Baby With a Beard)".
22	* BlackComedy: A fair number of Kunt's songs concern dark subject matter, helped by many of them having a jarringly upbeat tone.
23	** "The Abortion Song" is about the singer (represented in the now-deleted video as Kunt dressed as [[Advertising/McDonaldland Ronald McDonald]]) wanting to give his pregnant girlfriend an abortion against her wishes, with some of the methods he considers bordering on DomesticAbuse.
24	** "I Was Pissed Out of My Head" has Kunt describe incidents where he attacked or killed someone while extremely drunk.
25	* BlackComedyRape:
26	** "Paperboy" is about the singer molesting a paperboy because he reminded him of a girl he had a crush on when he was younger.
27	** "Jimmy Savile and the Sexy Kids" concerns a fictional account of Kunt being haunted by Jimmy Savile's ghost, who implores that Kunt write a song defending his sex crimes.
28	* BlamingTheVictim: "Creator/JimmySavile and the Sexy Kids" has the former's ghost asking Kunt to write a song explaining that it's not his fault he's a pedophile, but the children's for being attractive.
29	* BoltOfDivineRetribution: God strikes Kunt down at the end of the video for "Jesus (Baby With A Beard)" leaving SmolderingShoes behind.
30	* ClownSpecies: Given the clown baby and fetus seen in "The Abortion Song", Ronald [=McDonald=] seems to belong to one.
31	* ClusterFBomb: Kunt's songs summon up this trope to its fullest.
32	** "Fuck the Tories" has over 59 uses of the word, to the point that it was banned from being shown on the BBC, even the safe-for-work version "Stuff the Tories".
33	** Mostly {{averted\|Trope}} with "Prince Andrew Is a Sweaty Nonce"; while the word "nonce" (UK slang for pedophile) isn't exactly SFW, and a couple of phrases are borderline at best, it has no curse words whatsoever.
34	* CountryMatters: '''Come on, do we really need to say anything?'''
35	* DarkerAndEdgier: ''Blue ROFL'', Kunt's final album, is a fair bit darker than his previous work, to the point of being even outright misanthropic at points. "It's Just A Butterfly" completely and directly dismisses the idea of an afterlife or of anything meaningful after one's death, while "You're Going To Die" is exactly as bleak as it sounds, being a blunt statement that when you do die (which you will) there'll be nothing except "blackness and nothing" and that you'll "fade out of people's memories/quite shortly after you die".
36	** In his autobiography he mentions that ''Blue ROFL'' was written around a time of enormous tragedy around him (including multiple family deaths and brushes of both friends and family with disease and cancer) and that this informed both the album and his decision to retire.
37	* DoubleStandardRapeDivineOnMortal: Kunt points out at the end of ''Jesus (Baby With a Beard)" that if he had unconsensual sex with a woman, his baby wouldn't be considered the Messiah.
38	* DudeLooksLikeALady: "Paperboy" is about Kunt kidnapping and raping a paperboy because he looks like a girl Kunt liked at school.
39	* EarthIsYoung: Dinosaurs ruled the land two thousand years ago according to "Jesus (Baby With A Beard)".
40	* {{Ephebophile}}: Kunt himself in "Paperboy" sings about molesting a 16-year-old paperboy because he reminded him of a girl he had a crush on when he was younger.
41	* FakeBand: It's just one guy and some synths, and occasionally a puppet named Little Kunt who "sings" on some of the songs (really just Kunt pitched up a bit).
42	* TheFourChordsOfPop: If it weren't for the band's general subject matter and the cheap production, Kunt's songs would pretty much just be standard catchy pop tunes.
43	* GoodGirlsAvoidAbortion: "The Abortion Song" is about a man trying to make his girlfriend miscarry because she won't have an abortion.
44	* IAmTheBand: There is no gang, only Kunt.
45	* InsistentTerminology: Kunt insists that he be called a "minor Internet hit singer", which is if nothing else an entirely accurate title (he got to number 66 in the charts with "Use My Arse as a Cunt", which is certainly a qualifier as a "minor hit".)
46	* IntercourseWithYou: "I'm Gonna Lick You Out".
47	* LastNoteNightmare: "One Last Wank And One Last Cry" ends with this as Kunt discovers his penis [[ItMakesSenseInContext has stigmata]].
48	* MistakenForPedophile: The Wrong Ian Watkins" is about a man who can't tell the difference between Ian "H" Watkins from Music/{{Steps}} and Ian Watkins from Music/{{Lostprophets}}, the latter of whom is a convicted sex offender.
49	* ModernizedGod: In "Jesus (Baby With A Beard)" Kunt wonders what Jesus would be like if he was born today. Figuring he'd tell the wise men to bring an [=iPhone=] and video games instead of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
50	* MonsterClown: "The Abortion Song" is about Kunt thinking of ways to make his girlfriend have a miscarriage. He spends the video trying all of them while dressed as Ronald [=McDonald=].
51	* MyGirlIsASlut:
52	** In "Santa's Sack", Kunt's grandfather sits in the corner masturbating while watching his wife have sex with SantaClaus.
53	** In "Jesus (Baby With A Beard)" Joseph is frustrated that Mary won't sleep with him but tells God to give her one from him.
54	* MyNewGiftIsLame: According to "Jesus (Baby With A Beard)" if Jesus were born today he'd think gold, frankincense and myrrh were "a bag of wank" and would want an [=iPhone=] 4s, a 3D TV and ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyModernWarfare3''.
55	* MyspeldRokband: CountryMatters in the style of ''Music/KoolAndTheGang''.
56	* PaedoHunt: In 2022, Kunt and the Gang released "[[UsefulNotes/TheBritishRoyalFamily Prince Andrew]] Is a Sweaty Nonce". The song references his relationships with convicted child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein (since deceased) and Virginia Giuffre, who received over £10 million in a civil settlement of sex abuse claims she had made against Andrew. The "sweaty" part pokes fun at his statement in a disastrous BBC interview that Giuffre's claim that she had danced in a London club with a sweaty Andrew were untrue because he had at the time lost his ability to sweat. Ironically, this is one of Kunt's few songs that ''isn't'' loaded with Cluster F-Bombs.
57	* PosterGalleryBedroom: The [[https://www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/cartoons.html Kunt Cartoons]] show his bedroom wall being covered on posters of Carol Vorderman and Lorraine Kelly. In one he has a [[Franchise/ToyStory Buzz Lightyear]] lampshade, in the other it's ''WesternAnimation/WallaceAndGromit''.
58	* RacistGrandma:
59	** "Fucksticks" Kunt mentions that one of the times his granddad used the eponymous swear was "when the first black people moved into his street and Kunt later refers to him as moany, racist old cunt.
60	** His grandma as well, as per "Let's Send Nan to Dignitas:"
61	-->She's bitter and she's racist, she hates foreigners with a passion\
62	She uses the P- and N-words like they're going out of fashion.
63	* RefugeInAudacity: They're called "Kunt and the Gang". Enough said.
64	* TheSecretOfLongPorkPies: The video for "The Abortion Song" ends with Ronald [=McDonald=] dragging his pregnant girlfriend to his fast food restaurant and then Kunt finding a baby clown's head amongst his fries.
65	* SmolderingShoes: God strikes Kunt with lightning at the end of the video for "Jesus (Baby With A Beard", leaving a pair of smoking shoes behind.
66	* StealthParody: "I Was Pissed Out of My Head" sounds like it's Kunt defending his actions (beating someone senseless and murdering a prostitute) on the nebulous basis that he was drunk, but it could be argued that it's actually making fun of people who do depraved things and use drunkenness as an excuse. Although it's entirely possible that, this being Kunt And The Gang, that's reading far too much into it.
67	* TakeThat: The HiddenTrack on some CD pressings of "I Have Another Wank And I Have Another Cry" is a stunningly abusive song apparently directed at someone called Mel who used to do the band's press, who according to the song is very fat and ugly (amongst many, many other things). "Mel, she looks like a barrel" is one of the few printable lines.
68	** "The Wrong Ian Watkins" not only serves as a middle finger towards the disgraced Music/{{Lostprophets}} singer himself (who was convicted for multiple sexual offenses) but also to multiple news outlets like E! Entertainment Television and internet commenters for confusing the former with the Music/{{Steps}} member [[NamedLikeMyName Ian "H" Watkins]] and [[MistakenForPedophile attacking the latter by mistake]].
69	** Several lines in the Music/AmyWinehouse "tribute" "Amy (It's A Terrible Shamey)" make light of the fact that one of the few truly popular things she did was a reworking of "Valerie", a song by The Zutons. Which normally wouldn't be too bad, but Kunt's repetition of the point to the exclusion of virtually anything else seems intended to highlight the idea that one of the only noteworthy things she ever did was a reworking of someone else's song. That and the probably sarcastic assertion that her songs were "not at all samey."
70	** "Boris Johnson Is [Still] a Fucking Cunt", naturally.
71	** Related to "Boris Johnson Is a Fucking Cunt", Kunt has made it abundantly clear via virtually every form of media how poorly he thinks of "charity singer" [=LadBaby=], not least since the latter directly took pops at him in interviews. Kunt eventually attacked [=LadBaby=] further in "Fuck the Tories".
72	** Not to mention "Prince Andrew Is a Sweaty Nonce".
73	* TruckDriversGearChange: "Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt". Repeatedly.
74	* VaginaDentata: According to "That’s Why I Voted Brexit", the vaginas of women from Papua New Guinea have a row of teeth like a shark's.
75	* WildTeenParty: "Paul Stephenson's Party" is about a teenage Kunt going to his friend's house party which gets trashed.

Context Music / KuntAndTheGang