Line #38 MemeticBadass/ProfessionalWrestling


1	* '''[[Wrestling/AllenCoage BAD NEWS ALLEN/BAD NEWS BROWN]]'''. Olympic Bronze Medalist in Judo. Backed down '''[[Wrestling/AndreTheGiant ANDRE THE GIANT]]''' on a bus in Japan and, unarmed, backed down ''both'' Rougeau Brothers by himself, even though they had weapons and he didn't.
2	* Wrestling/KurtAngle, naturally. The man won an Olympic gold medal with a ''broken freaking neck''.
3	** He tore his quad THIS MORNING and he's fine! He's jumpin' around!
4	* Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin, TheNineties incarnate
5	* At this time, I am contractually obligated to point out that [[Wrestling/KiaStevens Awesome Kong]] kills bitches dead.
6	* Before the tragedy, Wrestling/ChrisBenoit was commonly known for being 4REAL and Website/{{GameFAQs}} users would even refer to him as "real life [[VideoGame/MetalGear Solid Snake]]" or [[Series/TwentyFour Jack Bauer]].
7	* [[Wrestling/SteveBlackman Steve F'n' Blackman]] [[http://shiningwizado.bandcamp.com/track/steve-f-king-blackman He knows Karate and he sees that you've been slackin' ]]
8	* Wrestling/{{Tessa B\|lanchard}} ain't nuthin' ta fuck wit!
9	* '''[[Wrestling/BruiserBrody BRUISER F'N BRODY]]''' and '''[[Wrestling/StanHansen STAN F'N HANSEN]]'''
10	* [[Wrestling/ClaudioCastagnoli Claudio Castagnoli/Antonio Cesaro]] deadlifted the Great Khali TWICE in the same match. He will give you a 100-rotation Giant Swing, a huge pop-up uppercut and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech be able to tell you how much you suck]] [[{{Omniglot}} in five languages]].
11	* Wrestling/JohnCena, it doesn't matter what you do to him. He will get up and give you, your father and your uncle an Attitude Adjustment all at the same time.
12	* Wrestling/BryanDanielson who is too manly for ''tans.'' Not even meat can handle his badass!
13	** He has gained an immunity to Wrestling/TripleH's burial shovel.
14	* [[Wrestling/SaraDelRey "The Queen of Wrestling" Sara Del Rey]] was '''trained''' by Bryan Danielson, '''[[BreakTheHaughty defeated]]''' Claudio Castagnoli, and beat the crap out of Jakob Hammermeier. Oh yeah, and read [[http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/mystakin/blog/fighting-to-survive-how-lara-croft-can-learn-from-/94581/ this.]]
15	* [[Wrestling/TommyDreamer "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer]]. [[Awesome/{{ECW}} "Thank you sir, may I have another!"]]
16	* Jack Evans performed a ''shoot'' [[Wrestling/RobVanDam Vandaminator]] on Juventud Guerrera!
17	* When the end of the world arrives, all that will remain will be Wrestling/MickFoley. He ate the cockroaches.
18	* Wrestling/TerryFunk. CoolOldGuy all the way.
19	** DistaffCounterpart: [[Wrestling/MaeYoung MAE YOUNG]] took a powerbomb off a rampway through a table to the floor at ''77'' years old. NeverMessWithGranny.
20	* Wrestling/{{Goldberg}} will squash you like a bug in 30 seconds and demand more. '''[[CatchPhrase WHO'S NEXT?]]'''
21	* Wrestling/MattHardy [[http://www.cagematch.net/?id=93&nr=58 "...WILL...NOT...DIE!"]]
22	** And Broken/Woken MATT will DELETE YOU!
23	* Curt Hawkins [[note]] As of 2016 on WWE television anyway [[/note]]; fact- he doesn't use toilets, he scares the crap out of them; fact-[[TheGrimReaper Death]] once had a near Curt Hawkins experience; fact- sleep needs 8 hours of Curt Hawkins a day; fact- Amelia Earhart got lost looking for Curt Hawkins. The WWE Universe needs to [[CatchPhrase Face the Facts!]]
24	* Wrestling/TheIronSheik will put you in the camel clutch, break your back, fuck your ass, and make you humble. [[MemeticMutation FACKIN' BULLSHIT!]]
25	* Wrestling/{{Jacqueline}} once finished a match after ''separating her shoulder'' and has proven time and again that she can make any man[[note]][[Wrestling/GlennGilbertti Disco Inferno]], Wrestling/HarveyWippleman, Wrestling/ChavoGuerreroJr[[/note]] her bitch.
26	* Give Wrestling/MickieJames [[SquashMatch some 35 seconds or so]] and she'll take [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/wwe/wwf-wm.html your]] [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/us/tna/tna-wm.html title]].
27	* [[Wrestling/EddieKingston "The Last of a Dying Breed"/"The War King" Eddie Kingston]]. The first man to knock Wrestling/{{Tursas}} off of his feet. He's this even by CHIKARA's family-friendly standards.
28	* Wrestling/KentaKobashi whose Burning Hammer finisher beat ''cancer''.
29	** Wrestling/HacksawJimDuggan smacked his cancer with his 2x4, then his Three-Point-Stance running clothesline cut through his cancer and his Old Glory kneedrop crushed it dead.
30	** Wrestling/BretHart locked his cancer in a Sharpshooter and made it tap out.
31	** Wrestling/DeanMalenko made his heart attack tap out to the Texas Cloverleaf.[[note]]Malenko had a heart attack at 50 years old in 2010 and was back to work within days. '''''DAYS'''''.[[/note]]
32	* [[Wrestling/AjaKong God made the Devil just for fun. When He wanted the real thing, He made Aja Kong!]]
33	* Wrestling/BrockLesnar, here comes the pain.
34	** Brock Lesnar will leave you in a pile of blood, urine, and vomit.
35	* [[Wrestling/RubyRiott Heidi Lovelace]] and [[Wrestling/KimberLee PrincessKimberlee]] made the [[BreakingTheGlassCeiling glass ceiling]] tap out to the Wrestling/{{CHIKARA}} Special.[[note]]At back-to-back {{Season Finale}}s, each woman won a title that had previously been held only by men. In the "Pre-Show-A-Go-Go" before ''Tomorrow Never Dies'', December 6, 2014, Heidi [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGByqXoUb5o&t=3s defeated]] [[Wrestling/MissileAssaultMan Missile Assault Ant]] (That's [[PokemonSpeak MISSILE! ASSAULT! ANT!]]) in the finals of the [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/us/pa/e/chikara/chikara-yl.html CHIKARA Young Lions Cup]] Tournament. She would go on to be the second-longest reigning YLC Champion after the inaugural Champion Wrestling/{{Hallowicked}}. A year later, at ''Top Banana'' on December 5th, Princess Kimberlee cashed in her title shot from her team Crown and Court defeating The Wrecking Crew in the finals of the Challenge of the Immortals tournament and defeated Hallowicked for the [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/us/pa/e/chikara/chikara-g.html CHIKARA Grand Championship]]. Because Heidi was still the Young Lions Cup Champion at the time, this was the first time in a non-women's promotion that both singles titles were held by women.[[/note]]
36	* There isn't a woman alive Hiroyo Matsumoto can't dominate. Hiroyo Matsumoto DESTROY!
37	* Wrestling/{{Vince McMahon}}. Really. The Wrestling/NationalWrestlingAlliance couldn't beat him. The Wrestling/AmericanWrestlingAssociation couldn't beat him. Wrestling/{{WCW}} couldn't beat him. The freaking '''FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA''' couldn't beat him.
38	** A real example: when Vince slid into the ring after a botched ending at the 2005 Royal Rumble, he tore ''both'' his quad muscles. A single quad tear kept Wrestling/TripleH out for nearly half a year back in 2001. Vince (who is nearly twice Trips' age, mind you) would have none of that, and he was walking like normal by Wrestlemania, roughly ''two months'' later.
39	* [[Wrestling/{{Meng}} Meng/King Haku]] will punch through any amount of steel chairs to kill bitches dead.
40	** He once inhaled and exhaled ''tear gas''!
41	** He once got in a bar fight and the police arrived and handcuffed him and he ''broke the cuffs'' and asked, "Is that it?"
42	** He once pulled out a guy's lower teeth.
43	** Wrestling/JakeRoberts said that if he had a tank and a gun with one bullet he would get out of the tank and shoot himself because he wouldn't want Meng mad at him if he wounded him.
44	** He once got Eric Bischoff, his ''boss'', to ''apologize'' to him for interrupting him when he was talking to his friends Chris Jericho, Chris Candido and Tammy Lynn Sytch.
45	** Wrestling/ArnAnderson wrote in his book, "There are three kinds of men, tough men, wrestler-tough men, and then there's Meng."
46	* Lives are gonna be in [[Wrestling/DanSpivey Waylon Mercy's]] hands. Know what he means?
47	** You don't fuck with Dan Spivey! He got Wrestling/TheRoadWarriors to ''sell''.
48	* Wrestling/{{MsChif}} started her career going undefeated against '''MEN''' and [[{{Determinator}} wrestles with NO [=ACL=]s]].
49	* Wrestling/ShinsukeNakamura will steal your thunder and drive his knee into your skull. His spit alone can grant you Macho Man's charisma.
50	* Wrestling/KazuchikaOkada is so awesome that in his spare time of defending his 600+ days title in six star matches. He's teaching [[VideoGame/{{Tekken}} King]] how to do [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJxP82I7_ls the Rainmaker]] and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBfN1NFgwkg defending earth]] from [[Manga/WorldTrigger neighbors]].
51	* Wrestling/KennyOmega sees your five star match, and raises you a SEVEN STARS.
52	* Wrestling/RandyOrton ({{beat}}) '''RKO''' from outta nowhere!
53	* Wrestling/ArchibaldPeck survived a StableTimeLoop AND Wrestling/{{Deucalion}} destroying him.
54	* [[RedBaron "The Loose Cannon"]] [[Wrestling/BrianPillman Brian FUCKING Pillman]] kicked throat cancer's ass, had to leave the [[UsefulNotes/NationalFootballLeague Cincinnati Bengals]] because he scared his own teammates, beat [[Wrestling/SidEudy Sid Vicious]] in a bar fight, with Sid making himself look even worse when the only thing he could find for a weapon was a ''[[NeverLiveItDown squeegee]]'' and , at ''Wrestling/{{ECW}} [=Cyberslam=] 96'', threatened to "piss on this hellhole (the ECW Arena)", and the fans chanted "Let him piss!"
55	* Wrestling/CMPunk is The Best In The World! He was the WWE champion for 434 days.
56	** Wrestling/ShinyaHashimoto was even better. He was the [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/japan/newjapan/iwgp-h.html New Japan Pro Wrestling IWGP Heavyweight Champion]] for '''489''' days.
57	** Wrestling/BrunoSammartino laughs at these short title reigns[[note]]Sammartino only held the Heavyweight Championship twice, but combined for ''4040 days!'' His first reign was 2,803 days while his second run lasted only 1,237[[/note]]
58	** Of course, all of them pale in comparison to Indian/Pakistani wrestler Ghulam Mohammad Baksh Butt, a.k.a. [[UrExample The Great Gama]] who was a legitimate undefeated world champion for 52 years. Not 52 days, not 52 months, '''''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer 52 YEARS]]'''''.
59	* Wrestling/{{Rikishi}} got SHOT and was ''clinically dead'' for ''three minutes.'' What more do you need?
60	* Wrestling/{{Sabu}} will get cut up in barbed-wire, seal it up with Krazy Glue and cover it with athletic tape and keep going like it was nothing special.
61	** Then there was the time he got shot in the face and the bullet ''exploded on impact!''
62	* Wrestling/PerrySaturn was a US Army Ranger and [[BadassBystander got shot in the neck saving a woman from being raped and was still able to beat the shit out of all three lowlifes by himself.]]
63	* Wrestling/RandySavage prevented the Rapture by elbow-dropping onto Jesus.[[note]]The Rapture was predicted to happen on May 21, 2011, the day after Savage died.[[/note]]
64	* [[Wrestling/ExoticAdrianStreet "Exotic" Adrian Street]] can take an ugly wrestler and beat him till he's beautiful, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc_VHKJ66LI so imagine what he could do to you.]]
65	* One word: [[Wrestling/BraunStrowman BRAAUUUNNNNNNN!]] Everybody will get these hands! And HE'S NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!
66	** A couple examples to justify him being here: He was once trapped in an ambulance which was then rammed with a truck. It took the jaws of life to get the thing open. When Strowman was finally freed, he refused medical help and walked off. Strowman has also tried to take out his opponents before a match by collapsing the RAW set on them! When he was fired for going that far, Strowman began rampaging backstage, the crown jewel was ''flipping over a truck''!
67	* Wrestling/AJStyles is bulletproof to heel heat in America; he can make the "soccer mom hair" over with fans, and his Styles Clash is a DangerousForbiddenTechnique only he can do.
68	* Wrestling/MasatoTanaka is CoveredInScars and [[NoOneCouldSurviveThat got up from the]] [[Wrestling/TheDudleyBoys Dudley Death Drop]].
69	* [[Wrestling/TheNexus Michael Tarver]], soul eater. Seriously. He can do whatever the fuck he wants in 1.9 seconds.
70	* [[{{Wrestling/Tazz}} Taz]] is gonna kill you.
71	** So will Wrestling/SamoaJoe.
72	** And Wrestling/KevinSteen.
73	** Along with [[Wrestling/KanakoUrai Asuka]]. Because nobody is ready.
74	** Wrestling/{{Bayley}}'s gonna hug you.
75	* [[https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/644x585q90/538/b5L8xH.jpg This]] unofficial FunTShirt says, "When [[ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight The Boogeyman]] Goes To Sleep, He Checks The Closet for [[Wrestling/LouThesz LOU THESZ]]."
76	* Wrestling/TheUndertaker. Forget about the streak, forget his in ring exploits, he [[Wrestling/MontrealScrewjob stood up to]] Wrestling/VinceMcMahon [[Wrestling/MontrealScrewjob for real and saved the WWF]].
77	* [[https://twitter.com/WWEVacant Vacant]] [[Memes/ProfessionalWrestling is a 13 time WWE world champion]], held the TNA world heavyweight title, has beaten everyone from Andre the Giant to John Cena, and has even held several Womens/Diva titles.[[note]]When the WWE Championship was, well, vacant, they represented this with a blank faced outline of a man with "Vacant" underneath it. People ran with it, acting as if it was an actual wrestler named Vacant. The joke was also used in TNA when Wrestling/AJStyles was stripped of his title. It's also joked that the blank outlines used to promote matches with mystery wrestlers/guest referees are actually all Vacant[[/note]]
78	* [[{{Wrestling/Vader}} Big Van Vader]] fears no man and feels no pain! WHO'S THE MAN! IT'S TIME! IT'S TIME! IT'S VADER TIME!!!
79	* Wrestling/DrDeathSteveWilliams once rescued a guy from a burning car by ''pulling the door right off of the car'', and, after getting busted open during an afternoon show, said "Stitch me up doc, I got a match tonight!"
80	* There's [[Film/TheTexasChainsawMassacre Leatherface]], there's [[Franchise/ANightmareOnElmStreet Freddy Krueger]], and there's [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason Voorhees]], and they all [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8Gz1AKz8mY bow down]] to Wrestling/SuYung.

Context MemeticBadass / ProfessionalWrestling