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9[[quoteright:231:[[Webcomic/{{Unsounded}} https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crop_68.jpg]]]]
10%%
11->''"That's right: This year ''there are no rules''. There are, however, a whole bunch of brutal laws, traditions, commandments, and decrees..."''
12-->-- '''The [=TF2=] Team''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''
13%% Please do not replace this quote again without discussion in the page quotes thread.
14%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1327331003042025100
15
16First you say what it isn't. Then you say what it is. Both of them effectively have the same meaning.
17
18This is when a character rejects a word in preference of a more colorful (or much blunter) one -- with the same practical meaning, given the circumstances, maybe with some extra connotations. In most occasions, it will reflect just how easy, one-sided, or unsporting the thing in question is.
19
20A common form is "We're not lost, we just don't know where we are."
21
22Sometimes the word being substituted is even ''worse'' than the previous while still having technically the same meaning — "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just gonna kill you!" being a prime example of this.
23
24This is a SubTrope to InsistentTerminology (any time a character corrects another's terminology) and SuperTrope to BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord, TechnicalEuphemism, and LessEmbarrassingTerm (character uses a euphemism for terms with negative connotations).
25
26Compare with:
27* ByNoIMeanYes: A character agrees, then disagrees; or the reverse.
28* MetaphoricallyTrue: A character hides their lies in a change of perspective.
29* EverythingExceptMostThings: Where conditionals applied are so numerous or so major that the usually-large difference might ''not'' be distinctive.
30* {{Dissimile}}: Where two things are said to be similar, then a list of how they ''aren't'' similar is added.
31
32Contrast BothSidesHaveAPoint.
33
34If there is a distinction that would matter to the specific people involved, but not to most people, it's YouKeepUsingThatWord (for instance, the distinction between "murdered" and "killed" is hugely important within the legal system, but in common, casual usage, it's not uncommon for the two words to be used interchangeably).
35
36Compare TheHorseshoeEffect, where two groups that are ideological opposites act so similarly that there is no practical difference between them. May also relate to CannotTellALie, WillNotTellALie or WeaselWords, when the wording is very deliberately selected to convey a false impression without technically being a lie in the traditional sense. Can lead to ImmediateSelfContradiction. The equivalent on Website/TVTropes is Administrivia/RidiculouslySimilarTrope.
37
38----
39!!Examples? These are various instances that the trope has been used in:
40[[index]]
41* DistinctionWithoutADifference/AnimeAndManga
42* DistinctionWithoutADifference/FanWorks
43* [[DistinctionWithoutADifference/LiveActionFilms Films - Live-Action]]
44* DistinctionWithoutADifference/{{Literature}}
45* DistinctionWithoutADifference/LiveActionTV
46* DistinctionWithoutADifference/VideoGames
47* DistinctionWithoutADifference/WesternAnimation
48[[/index]]
49
50[[foldercontrol]]
51
52[[folder:Advertising]]
53* Twix has been relying on this trope since at least 2013 with their "Left Twix/Right Twix" campaign.
54-->"Each factory took a ''vastly'' different approach: Left Twix flowed caramel on cookie, while Right Twix ''cascaded'' on cookie. Left Twix bathed in chocolate while Right Twix ''cloaked'' in chocolate."
55[[/folder]]
56
57[[folder:Comedy]]
58* A joke from the UsefulNotes/ColdWar where an American and a Russian are racing with the American winning. When the Russian newspapers print the story, they read that the American was second-to-last and the Russian was in second place.
59* Jon Stewart, when paying tribute to Music/BruceSpringsteen during the 2009 Kennedy Center Honors:
60-->"When you listen to the music of Bruce Springsteen, you are no longer a loser. You are a character in an epic poem...about losers."
61* Jasper Carrott did a stand-up routine about the Balinese allegedly hating to answer "No" to any question, leading to a conversation like:
62-->'''Carrott:''' Do you have any tartare sauce?\
63'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh, yes! ''[does nothing]''\
64'''Carrott:''' Er... well, can I have some then?\
65'''Balinese waiter:''' Oh, yes! ''[smiles, does nothing]''\
66'''Carrott:''' ''[looks at watch]'' Er... will it be long?\
67'''Balinese waiter:''' ''[nodding pointedly]'' Oh, ''yes''!
68* An old RussianReversal joke: Under capitalism, man exploits his fellow man. Under communism, the reverse is true.
69* The 1974 National Lampoon album ''Missing White House Tapes'' features a spoof of ''Series/SesameStreet'' called "Pennsylvania Avenue." The main character is Big Dick (Nixon) who gives the Watergate tapes to Shredder Monster. When Sirica the Grouch investigates, Big Dick said the tapes were suddenly missing and is accused of lying about them.
70-->'''Big Dick:''' Uh, I wasn't lying. I...uh...misspoke myself.
71[[/folder]]
72
73[[folder:Comic Books]]
74* ''ComicBook/ChickTracts'': In "Four Angels", Henry, the youngest of the four brothers, and the only one Chick believes remained a Bible-believing Christian, refuses to eat with his elder brother Charlie because Charlie is a fornicator. When Henry shows up after dinner, he condemns Charlie's lifestyle, calling him "a friend of the world and an enemy of God." When their brother Bobby asks Henry if he's saying Charlie's going to Hell, Henry says "I didn't say it. The Word of God does."
75* ComicBook/DeathsHead isn't a BountyHunter, he's a ''freelance peacekeeping agent,'' [[VerbalTic yes]]?
76* From the Creator/DonRosa story "The Billionaire of Dismal Downs":
77-->'''Fergus:''' Oh, dear -- my son is as crazy as a loon!\
78'''Hortense:''' ''Poor'' people are crazy, papa! Rich people are ''eccentric''!\
79'''Matilda:''' Scroogey's as eccentric as a loon!
80* Devin Grayson stated that Comicbook/{{Nightwing}}'s... [[DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale unfortunate encounter]] with Tarantula "wasn't rape, just nonconsensual"--a feat roughly on par with saying "not the ocean, just a really big sea."
81* ''ComicBook/SilverSurfer'' once explained to Dawn Greenwood that the inhabitants of the Giraud Expanse only ''sound'' French due to their UniversalTranslator, and that they are actually speaking [[SpaceX Space-French]].
82* ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'':
83** Averted whenever John Jonah Jameson (Jr.) is accused of MaliciousSlander against the titular hero, he usually retorts with an accurate relevant legal distinction: "It is NOT! Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel."
84** A humorous [[http://www.spidermancrawlspace.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/91.jpg double page splash]] in ''ComicBook/TheAmazingSpiderMan1963'' of Peter's sixties LocalHangout, the Coffee Bean Barn, has a sign over the counter reading "FREE ESPRESSO TO ALL! (+50¢ rental for the cup and saucer!)"
85* In ''ComicBook/TheTransformersMoreThanMeetsTheEye'', Whirl uses this, although he's not arguing ''for'' something:
86-->'''Whirl:''' So, this is what running away feels like, huh? I'm not keen. It's like... it's like fighting but in the wrong direction.
87* ''ComicBook/TheUltimates'': Nick Fury tells Stark that he's a strange man. Stark replies that he hopes with his fortune in the billions, he'd qualify as eccentric.
88[[/folder]]
89
90[[folder:Comic Strips]]
91* In ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' when Linus develops a PrecociousCrush on his teacher, Miss Othmar, Lucy exclaims, "It's ok to like a teacher, but it's wrong to ''worship'' her!" Linus retorts, "I never said I worship her. I just said I was very fond of the ground she walked on."
92[[/folder]]
93
94[[folder:Films — Animation]]
95* On the DVD commentary for ''WesternAnimation/GIJoeTheMovie'', it was mentioned that while Cobra ''retreats'', the Joes ''withdraw''.
96* In ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoBatmanMovie'', when Dick Grayson discovers the Batcave and sees Batman:
97-->'''Dick:''' Does Batman live in Bruce Wayne's basement?\
98'''Batman:''' No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic!
99* In ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoMovie2TheSecondPart'', when Batman agrees to marry Queen Watevra Wa-Nabi, she asks him if he wants to have the wedding in 15 minutes. Batman tells her to make it a quarter of an hour.
100* In ''WesternAnimation/Madagascar3EuropesMostWanted,'' Kowalski's latest invention powering the Penguin-Mobile... Skipper corrects Gloria in a way that makes you wonder how he made it.
101-->'''Gloria:''' That's a nuclear reactor?!\
102'''Skipper:''' ''[calmly]'' ''NUKE''-u-lar.
103* Sulley in ''WesternAnimation/MonstersUniversity'':
104-->'''Sulley:''' You're wasting time. We need a new team.\
105'''Mike:''' We can't just "get a new team"! I checked this morning, it's against the rules.\
106'''Sulley:''' What if we disguise the new team to look like the old team?\
107'''Mike:''' Oh no, we are not cheating!\
108'''Sulley:''' It's not cheating, it's... leveling the playing field. ''[[[DisapprovingLook Mike narrows his eye]]]'' Okay, so it's kinda cheating.
109* ''WesternAnimation/MonstersVsAliens:''
110--> "Don't think of it as a prison. Think of it as a hotel you can never leave, 'cause it's locked from the outside."
111* ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyTheMovie2017'': When Rarity apologizes to Applejack for a "raised in a barn" comment, Applejack replies that no apology is needed because she wasn't, although her family did have one where she was born and spent most of her childhood...
112-->'''AJ:''' My family just happens to ''have'' a barn. Where I was born. [[ExplainExplainOhCrap And... spent most of my formative years...]]\
113'''Rainbow Dash:''' Rrrrraised in a barn!
114* ''WesternAnimation/RobinHood1973'', the [[Franchise/DisneyAnimatedCanon Disney version:]]
115-->'''Little John:''' Y'know something Robin, I was just wondering. Are we good guys or bad guys? Y'know, our robbing the rich to feed the poor.\
116'''Robin Hood:''' [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord Rob? Tch tch. That's a naughty word. We never rob]]. We just... sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.\
117'''Little John:''' Borrow? Heh. Boy, are we in debt.
118* ''WesternAnimation/SpiderManAcrossTheSpiderVerse'': After Gwen and Miles meet up in Mumbattan, despite Miles not supposed to be there.
119-->'''Gwen:''' Did you follow me?!
120-->'''Miles''': No, I...just...saw where you went and went there without you knowing.
121* ''WesternAnimation/{{Storks}}'': Junior (stork) responding to Tulip (human) about the baby they are trying to deliver.
122-->'''Junior:''' We're not like a family, we're just a guy and girl trying to put our baby to sleep.
123[[/folder]]
124
125[[folder:Music]]
126* "Only on Days That End in 'Y'" by Music/ClayWalker:
127-->''The only time I ever miss you, honey\
128Is when I'm alone or when I'm with somebody\
129Your memory never even gets to me\
130Except for when I'm awake and when I'm sleeping\
131Girl, you never even cross my mind\
132Except just when I think I've left you far behind\
133Only when I laugh, only when I cry\
134And only on days that end in "Y"''
135* "Lazyhead and Sleepybones" from Music/TheyMightBeGiants' ''No!'' is all about two people who can't get along because they're too tired to realize they're only disagreeing with their choice of words:
136-->''When Lazyhead says somebody's skinny\
137Sleepybones says thin\
138When Sleepybones says identical\
139Lazyhead says twins\
140When Lazyhead says the window is closed\
141Sleepybones says it's shut\
142When Sleepybones says that something isn't\
143Lazyhead says it's not''
144[[/folder]]
145
146[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
147* While normally just a case of InsistentTerminology, whenever a ring announcer''{{ahem}}'', commentator or wrestler...superstar verbally corrects their colleague about how to refer to ProfessionalWrestling as "Sports Entertainment", it starts slipping into this territory. Especially if it's blatant enough to get The Universe(fans) to start booing about it.
148* Portia Perez was highly displeased when her long time rivals Wrestling/SaraDelRey and [[Wrestling/{{Rosemary}} Courtney Rush]] won Wrestling/{{SHIMMER}}'s TagTeam Title belts despite being a barely functional team. To Perez Rush and Del Rey were NOT a tag team but co corner wrestling partners.
149* For a brief period, WWE would hold fan polls to allow them to select what type of match a pair of wrestlers would have. [[PushPolling Of course, to keep from having to book 3 separate matches, the options would be functionally identical]]; for example, Extreme Rules, Falls Count Anywhere, and No Disqualification.
150[[/folder]]
151
152[[folder:Radio]]
153* In one episode of ''Radio/TheMenFromTheMinistry'' the General Assistance Department is given the task of distributing Culture Ministry's yearly Art's Council Grants for the entire Britain's artists. After giving most of it away to small-time no-names and simple con-men, [[BadBoss Sir Gregory]] angrily calls and asks Lennox-Brown if he's forgotten annual grants for all the national organisations. He immediately states that he definitely hasn't, since he's never even heard of them.
154* The Procrastination Song from ''Radio/JohnFinnemoresSouvenirProgramme'' is all about this.
155-->''But I resent the implication\
156this was mere procrastination\
157the project underwent gestation\
158sitting on the shelf.\
159I was not procrastinating\
160I was simply wisely waiting\
161in case the project came to life\
162and somehow did itself!''
163[[/folder]]
164
165[[folder:Roleplay]]
166* ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'':
167** Simon's mother gets angry with him after she finds out that he hasn't taken his medication. When he points it out, she rebuts that she isn't angry, she's just pissed off.
168** Sebastian freaks out upon discovering that Daigo has murdered two people. Fesxis 'helpfully' clarifies that it's only ''attempted'' murder, since neither of them is dead ''yet'', which doesn't make Sebastian feel any better.
169[[/folder]]
170
171[[folder:Visual Novels]]
172* ''Franchise/AceAttorney'':
173** In the first case of ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney'', prosecutor Winston Payne asks defendant Larry Butz if his ex-girlfriend, Cindy Stone (the murder victim in the case), broke up with him:
174--->'''Butz:''' I wasn't dumped! She just wasn't taking my phone calls... or seeing me... ever. ''What's it to you, anyway?!''\
175'''Payne:''' Mr. Butz, what you describe is generally what we mean by "dumped".
176** A truly dark example shows up in ''Justice for All''. When questioning [[spoiler: Matt Engarde]] about his innocence regarding the current trial, he declares "I didn't kill anyone"; this doesn't set off Phoenix's lie-detecting Magatama, so he (and the player) believes it to be true. [[spoiler: It's later revealed that while Engarde didn't actually kill the victim, he ''did'' hire an assassin to do it. What makes it frightening is that anyone with a shred of morality would see that this trope applies, but Engarde ''doesn't'', letting the players know [[TheSociopath just how twisted he really is.]]]]
177** In the fourth case of ''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneySpiritOfJustice Spirit of Justice]]'', Blackquill doesn't think Nahyuta knows enough about rakugo, but due to politeness, we get this exchange:
178--->'''Blackquill:''' Do you have enough knowledge of this art form to handle the case competently?\
179'''Nahyuta:''' Are you implying that I am not qualified for this case?\
180'''Blackquill:''' Not yet -- I am simply trying to ascertain your familiarity with the topic... for now.
181* ''VisualNovel/DaughterForDessert'':
182** Mortelli claims that his tryst with a prostitute in Las Vegas isn't a secret.
183--->'''Mortelli:''' [My wife] just hasn't asked the right questions.
184** Lainie, Cecilia, and their family hate when people call them "rich". They prefer to say that they own a lot.
185* In ''VisualNovel/DoubleHomework'', Ms. Walsh has trained to teach children who are "intellectually disabled", not "retarded". Justified in that school systems are more politically correct than most other environments, and in that schools do not want to discourage the parents of children who need special education from eschewing it due to social stigma.
186* ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'': One scene in Lilly's route has her object to Hisao calling her dirty-minded, insisting she instead has [[InsistentTerminology "a healthy adolescent sex drive."]] Hisao immediately points out that [[HormoneAddledTeenager that's basically the same thing in different words.]]
187[[/folder]]
188
189[[folder:Web Animation]]
190%%* ''WebAnimation/DSBTInsaniT'': Perry is Snake's "partner", not his "pet"!
191* ''WebAnimation/FTLKestrelAdventures'': "We prefer the term 'laborers who only accept payment in terms of food, shelter, and water'." -- A rock slaver on slavery.
192* In ''WebAnimation/HunterTheParenting'', the vampire Kevin hates vampiric [[FantasticDrug blood bonds]], calling them effectively slavery. The blood-bonded detective Chapman disagrees, because he prefers to call it "indentured servitude".
193-->'''Kevin:''' OKAY, WOW. HOW MARGINALLY BETTER IS THAT.
194* ''The American Civil War WebAnimation/OverSimplified'' gives us this gem:
195-->'''General George B. [=McClellan=]:''' I didn't lose! I merely failed to win!
196* ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue'':
197** There's Sarge's "We're not retreating; We're advancing, towards future victory!"
198** Also: "It's not pink, it's lightish red!" Which gets the appropriate response: "They have a word for that. PINK!"
199** "I wouldn't really use the word 'replace', but there's no word for 'take over for you and make everything better almost immediately', so we just say 'replace'."
200* ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'' shows us this:
201-->'''Yang:''' So Jinxy just steals from you?\
202'''Little:''' ''[appalled]'' Steal!? No, no, no. ''[sincerely]'' He just takes things from us when we're not looking at them. That's more than fair.
203[[/folder]]
204
205[[folder:Web Comics]]
206* When Nin Wah is found guilty of a crime in ''WebComic/CommanderKitty'', it's decided by the court of the planet Gazelle that she won't be getting the death sentence, but get off with community service. Said community service is to clean the space station, from the outside, without a spacesuit. (She survives anyway, through luck.)
207%%* From [[http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0566.html episode 566]] of ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids''.
208%%-->'''Palpatine:''' The Jedi have become a threat to the Republic, and... um...\
209%%'''Clone Trooper:''' Oh, no! That's terrible.\
210%%'''Palpatine:''' ...they attacked me.\
211%%'''Clone Trooper:''' Those bastards! Do you want us to kill them, sir?\
212%%'''Palpatine:''' Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that, but... Yes.
213* ''Webcomic/{{Dregs}}'': Mags's collection isn't of ''guns'', it's of ''pneumatic weapons''. That fire bullets. Hard enough to kill.
214%%* [[http://evil-inc.com/comic/when-worlds-collide-part-four-10/ This]] wonderful ''Webcomic/EvilInc'' comic {{subvert|edTrope}}s the expectation of the "[[AntiHero bad guy]]" when he insists on InsistentTerminology.
215* ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'' has Sam Starfall gets talking to a robot modeled after [[Franchise/StarWars Jar-Jar Binks]] about copyright laws while speaking of Wookiee opera coming into being.
216-->'''Sam:''' Someone other than Lucas might do it.\
217'''Jar-Jar Bot:''' No. Copyright lasts for the life of the creator plus seventy years. George Lucas had his head frozen. Not completely dead, his copyright shall never expire.\
218'''Sam:''' Weren't copyright laws made to ensure creative properties didn't get locked up forever?\
219'''Jar-Jar Bot:''' It's not forever. It's only until the heat death of the universe.
220* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'':
221** Vipsania Perrault insists that she's not a thief (well, not... professionally). Lumi suggest they'd call her "burglar" or "rogue", to her distress. Her introduction is a clear shout-out to ''Film/TheHobbit'' scene between Bilbo and Smaug.
222** Meanwhile in the main story, Princess Neena is '''very much not''' a "stowaway". She's a "surprise, freelance member of Agatha's expedition to Mechanisburg, joining quietly to avoid undue fuss."
223* ''Webcomic/JupiterMen'': When Nathan first shows a picture of cosmic energy to the twins, Quintin instantly calls it a cloud. Nathan denies it, calling it a gathering of cosmic energy that builds up until it dissipates by falling to the ground. Jackie points out how it sounds exactly like a cloud, after which Nathan drops the subject.
224* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFoxhound'' has Ocelot insist that he's not a "torture expert", but that he performs art. By torturing people.
225-->'''Ocelot:''' "Torture" is such an '''inelegant''' word. I'm an artist. Their testicles are my canvas.\
226'''Mantis:''' [[EvenEvilHasStandards Please stop touching me.]]
227* From ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'': [[http://www.misfile.com/?date=2009-01-12 I'm not spying, I'm strategically listening.]]
228* Vincent from ''Webcomic/MyLifeInBlue'':
229-->'''Vincent:''' I'm not queer, I'm inverted, thou lie-breeding swine.
230* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
231** Haley isn't a thief; she's a "freelance wealth redistribution specialist."
232** She also describes Elan [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0017.html thus]]: "He's not useless, he's... use-impaired."
233** Vaarsuvius [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0641.html insists]] they did ''NOT'' [[DealWithTheDevil sell their soul to fiends]] but merely [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness negotiated an exchange with three gentlemen from other planes of existence]], specifically [[TheLegionsOfHell planes in the ventral direction]], [[ExpospeakGag involving a fixed-term lease with an occupancy date yet to be determined]]. The distinction between a sale and a lease is important (to the story if not to the conversation), the attempt to imply that the other parties in the agreement were anything other than [[TheLegionsOfHell fiends]] not so much.
234** Because clean-up duty[[note]]"finish off those V and [Haley] don't kill"[[/note]] sounds lame, Belkar becomes [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1054.html Doomsealer]][[note]]"seeking out those who defiantly cling to life after surviving lesser horrors and ruthlessly snuffing out their futures in a cruel mockery of their perseverance"[[/note]]. Lampshaded in the last panel -- Haley didn't trick Belkar into doing the same job with a more hardcore description, ''he'' tricked ''her'' into coming up with a more hardcore description for a job he was already interested in.
235* Lampshaded in [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2017/09/25/men-of-distinction this]] ''WebComic/PennyArcade'':
236-->'''Tycho:''' ''Dropmix'' is a music game, '''not''' a RhythmGame.\
237'''Gabe:''' I want you to shove this whole mechanism up your '''ass'''hole, not your '''butt'''hole. See? I can do this shit too.
238* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'': Marten pulls this when he's in denial about his FirstGrayHair.
239-->''"Oh, no, that's not a grey hair. It's just one that happened not to have any pigment."''
240* From ''WebComic/TheSanityCircus'', as Attley and Fletch quiz Donovan Sparc for answers to some of their problems:
241-->'''Donovan:''' Uh, yes, the "secret" organisation. I wouldn't so much call it "secret", though... it just... handles things without the public knowing.\
242'''Attley:''' That's pretty much the definition of secret.
243* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'' got a lot of this:
244** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-11-25 Like this one]], on which our amorph answers:
245--->'''TV Con:''' ...If what I just said insulted your intelligence, you should change the channel now.\
246'''Schlock:''' I need this guy's address, and some breacher-round reloads.
247** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-12-14 Andy is not bait. He is flypaper.]]
248* Sweetheart in ''Webcomic/SkinHorse'' knew her creator was a homicidal maniac. [[http://skin-horse.com/comic/impression-that/ She just didn't think he was the kind of homicidal maniac who went crazy and killed people]].
249* In ''Webcomic/{{Sorcery 101}}'', Asagi states he doesn't make threats since he lacks the reputation to make them effective. "For '''that''' sort of reputation, one must occasionally leave survivors."
250* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': After an event that has every reason to have taken an emotional toll on him, Reynir, when asked, insists that he's not depressed, just feeling crushing regret and helplessness.
251* From ''Webcomic/ThreePanelSoul'': "[[http://web.archive.org/web/20120618080646/http://threepanelsoul.com/2012/06/11/on-workforces They're not replacements. They're just going to do the same job as you, and eventually you won't work here anymore.]]"
252* ''Webcomic/UnknownLands'': When his name is questioned Mischief agrees that it's not his real name, and when subsequently asked what his name is replies Mischief.
253* From ''Webcomic/{{Unsounded}}'', [[http://www.casualvillain.com/Unsounded/comic/ch13/ch13_39.html a rewording]] of the page image:
254-->'''Ruffles:''' [Duane]'s inside the mop closet spying on us.\
255'''Duane, bursting out of the closet:''' ''I am not!'' I was ''assessing'' the situation ere ''intruding!''
256* From ''Webcomic/{{Vexxarr}}'', a variation.
257-->'''Firstofficerbot:''' Is this true?\
258'''Vexxarr:''' Only in the sense that it's factually accurate...
259[[/folder]]
260
261[[folder:Web Original]]
262* In its early days, ''Website/PointlessWasteOfTime'' published an excerpt of the supposed script for the then-unmade ''Film/TheMatrixReloaded''. A warning read "it doesn't contain spoilers, but it does contain details about the plot that may ruin the film if you read them."
263* From the ''Website/SomethingAwful'' review of the movie ''The House That Screamed'': "I'm not saying I disliked the film, I'm just saying that I'd rather rip all of my teeth out with rusty pliers, make them into a comb, and use the comb made of my own teeth to scrape all of my skin off than watch it again."
264[[/folder]]
265
266[[folder:Web Videos]]
267* "Technically you could call me a SerialKiller. I don't know if that's the correct noun. Personally, I just think I'm a bloke who had a few people put down. I don't have any voices in my head, and I haven't got any mother-love fantasies. Well, not really." ~ [[spoiler:Terrence]], ''WebVideo/KateModern: The Last Work''
268* ''WebVideo/ThirdRateGamer'':
269** In his ''Daze Before Christmas'' review:
270--->'''Third Rate Gamer:''' Ooh, I know what you're thinking: "How dare you make fun of Santa Claus!?" But I'm not! This game is awesome, but it's a piece of shit.
271** In his ''Super Mario Bros./Super Mario Bros. 2'' review, he parodies and quotes near-verbatim what the WebVideo/TheIrateGamer said about ''VideoGame/SuperMarioBros2'':
272--->'''Third Rate Gamer:''' This is a horrible game that I remember fondly playing when I was five years old. I don't really hate ''Mario 2'', but when you compare it to the other ''Mario'' games, it just has "ass" written all over it!
273* ''WebVideo/{{Jimquisition}}'': In Jim Sterling's second crack at Kobra Studios' ''Second Warfare'' (after KS suggested that Jim had been criticising the game "poorly" by missing features like a flashlight and grenade launcher, both of which turned out to be equally hideous-looking and borderline nonfunctional) they make this gem of a comment:
274-->'''Jim Sterling:''' Some people might suggest, like in other videos where I've had tiffs with developers, that I'm being ''"petty"'' here. I would like to refute that; I would say I'm being ''infantile'' and ''petulant.'' ''[{{beat}}]'' And ''spiteful.'' That's what I'm-- I wouldn't say I'm being ''"petty".'' I think "spiteful" is a much better word for what I'm being right now.
275* With the Philadelphia Eagles one of the teams that were playing in Super Bowl LII (held in 2018), the team itself having last won an NFL championship in 1960, and Philadelphia itself infamous for its sports fans' reputation for unruly behavior, WebVideo/UrinatingTree's "The Hater's Guide to Super Bowl 52" summed up the situation as "Will we see Philadelphia joyously rioting in the streets, or Philadelphia angrily rioting in the streets?" It ended up being a joyous rioting.
276* ''WebVideo/FoldingIdeas'':
277** When discussing Creator/UweBoll, Foldable Human flies in the face of conventional wisdom by saying he isn't a terrible director... he's a ''mediocre'' director and a terrible ''producer''.
278** Another video, dealing with ''Film/TheLastAirbender'', backs down from a section title card saying that one of the problems is Creator/MNightShyamalan, deciding to look at the department heads and see if there's a weak link. Cue the amended title card, which reads "M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS THE WEAK LINK."
279* In the opening dialogue of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAZDHrCObMs this clip]], one of the WebVideo/EpicNPCMan muggers proposes this as a threat to try out on their next victim:
280--->'''Mugger:''' ...if you don't give me that gold, I will mug you.
281* ''WebVideo/TheWarpZone'': In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vi8v5jmZGQ "Mandalorian Couples Therapy"]], when Boba Fett accuses the Mandalorian of being part of a cult.
282-->'''Boba Fett:''' At least I'm not a member of a freaky helmet-obsessed cult.\
283'''Din Djarin:''' What? I'm not in a cult! I'm just part of an isolated group of people who live by a stringent set of rules and morals that must be followed absolutely and unquestioningly and if you ever break the rules, you're ruthlessly cast out and shunned by the rest of the... [[ImmediateSelfContradiction okay, I might be in a cult.]]
284* ''WebVideo/XInXMinutes'': Stroheim isn't a "Nazi". He's simply a "German soldier from the late 1930s".
285-->'''Speedwagon:''' So, you're a Nazi?\
286'''Stroheim:''' ''[backed by VideoGame/Wolfenstein3D's version of "Horst Wessel Lied"] ACH!'' Just because I'm a major in the German military in the late 1930s ''[walks around doing a Nazi salute]'', you can't just go around and accuse everyone you don't like of being a Nazi, you know!
287* WebVideo/LockPickingLawyer:
288** In [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut1_yBDo1rE video 1272]] he praises Master Lock for finally fixing a flaw in one of their lines of locks that made it susceptible to unlocking by slipping a thin strip of metal between the codewheels, but then points out that even if they've fixed that issue, they ''haven't'' fixed another issue that makes it trivially easy to open by simply pressing on the shackle and whacking it with a mallet.
289** In mid-2021 he did a series of several videos about several bags which advertised themselves as "slash-resistant" yet all proved trivially easy to cut open with knives, to the point that [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVlAzo9nPgc the last one, 1317,]] joked that "slash-resistant" bags are advertised as such not because they actually resist slashing but [[ExactWords specifically because]] they resist being torn or cut open with a butter knife by Music/{{Slash|Musician}}, the musician.
290* When the ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'' are attempting the [[SelfImposedChallenge Green Demon Challenge]] of ''VideoGame/SuperMario64'', Arin balks at Danny implying he can't do it. Danny ''tries'' to say that's not the case and explain that he just meant the level is hard, but Arin points out that's the same thing:
291--> '''Danny:''' This is less about a lack of faith in your ability, and more just a realization of how insanely hard this is.
292--> '''Arin:''' Oh yeah, thanks. No, I get it.
293--> '''Danny:''' I mean, I'd tell you if thought you were incapable of doing it.
294--> '''Arin:''' Well that's what you're saying. You're just saying it in a roundabout way.
295--> '''Danny:''' ''Ooooh...'' [[{{Touche}} You know what, you're probably right]].
296[[/folder]]
297
298[[folder:Real Life]]
299* When Augustus defeated all his opponents and stood as the sole ruling man in Rome, he was by all means a monarch. But instead of using the term king (''rex'' in Latin), which was totally despised in ancient Roman culture, and while trying to give an appearance of having preserved the republican institutions, he instead called himself ''Princeps Civitatis'' ("[[JustTheFirstCitizen first citizen]]"). Meanwhile, he concentrated for life on his persona various titles and positions that held power, for example: ''primus inter pares'' ("first among equals", previously an honorific title for the most respected member of the senate), ''imperator'' ("commander", or more properly "he who holds the military rule"), ''pontifex maximus'' ("greatest priest", the most important position in the ancient Roman clergy), censor, tribune, and so on.
300* Maj. Gen. Oliver P. Smith, the Commanding General, 1st Marine Division, at the Chosin Reservoir, said, "Retreat, hell! We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction." To a civilian, retreat means "move away from a battle or position" but the military definition is specifically "withdrawal of troops to a more favorable position ''to escape the enemy's superior forces or after a defeat''. Since they were moving to ''attack'' the enemy as part of their break-out, their actions could be described as an advance rather than a retreat.[[note]]Given that they were completely surrounded, ''any'' move in ''any'' direction would have been an attack.[[/note]] What it all comes down to, of course, is that Marines would much rather point out that they were ''attacking'' the enemy instead of getting hung up on the fact that they were ''also'' getting themselves out of a very untenable situation. "Retreat" is a word that brings with it connotations of running away from the fight, which they were certainly not doing.
301* Near-ubiquitous in any culture where saying No is disapproved of, whether because it entails a loss of face ("I am unable to satisfy you") or because it implies an insult to the asker ("you want something you can't have"). See the Jasper Carrot stand-up routine about the Balinese in Comedy above. Their neighbors, the Javanese, also have this habit. This concept is called "Inggih, boten kepanggih" which is "Yes" as in "Yes, I understand perfectly what you said, but I never said I'm agreeing with you/confirming that."
302* According to William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, the first Doublespeak Award went, in 1974, to US Air Force Colonel David Opfer in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for saying to American reporters, "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing, it's air support."[[note]]Strictly speaking "air support" is a type of bombing, as distinguished from interdiction and strategic bombing. And the term "bombing" restricts one to the use of bombs exclusively. "Air Support" allows one to also use unguided rockets, missiles, and/or strafing with guns, which are much more useful in a tactical role. It also allows the use of helicopters as a launch vehicle—helicopters don't drop many bombs. (Of course, the distinction between rockets, missiles, and bombs is as lost on the average journalist as that between "''ὁμοούσιον''" and "''ὁμοιούσιον''").[[/note]]. The source of the colonel's complaint is presumably that American journalists [[InsistentTerminology deliberately used only the term]] "bombing", [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything probably in order to bring to mind]] the deliberate bombing of civilian targets that was common in World War II (the only war most of the American public had any direct contact with)—rather than giving the details of what "air support", something very different, entails (it's generally much more precise and smaller-scale, and mostly only used against enemy forces that are actually a threat).
303* David Dinkins, after it was discovered that he hadn't paid income tax some years earlier, replied: “I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.”
304* There was a Swedish quote: "Jag har inte begått något brott, jag bara misslyckades med att följa lagen." Translation: "I haven't committed a crime, I simply failed in following the law."
305* After losing to the Americans in a sporting event (not the Olympics) the Soviet media (supposedly) claimed that they had come in second, while the US came in second to last. Which is all totally true...since the event only had two nations competing: The U.S. and the Soviets.
306* ClarkesThirdLaw can be paraphrased as "the HandWave I'm using isn't magic, it's just science we don't understand yet!" You'd be surprised how often this excuse is given for stories that violate well-understood laws of physics.
307* Daniel Boone once said of himself, "I can't say as ever I was lost, but I was bewildered once for three days." This anecdote is sometimes used by the Boy Scouts while training in orientation to make an important distinction: To be ''lost'' is to be beyond hope of recovery. To be ''disoriented'' is to simply not know where you happen to be, a situation which is quite fixable if you do not lose hope.
308* This famous dialogue from UsefulNotes/TheFrenchRevolution just after UsefulNotes/LouisXVI was informed of the Bastille's fall:
309-->'''Louis XVI:''' Is it a revolt?\
310'''Aide:''' No, sire. It is a revolution.[[note]]Actually true in this case, as the scale was nationwide (rather than local) and aimed at changing the government (rather than fighting against a specific law or custom).[[/note]]
311* Field Marshal UsefulNotes/BernardLawMontgomery had to get around this problem in UsefulNotes/WorldWarII. During his limited participation on the Battle of the Bulge[[note]] '''Strictly''' limited, but he ''was'' involved. Not as much as he later ''claimed'' to be, though[[/note]], he was placed in command of a significant part of the American forces on the northern flank of the German advance. His American subordinates were clearly unhappy about his request to them to retreat without firing a shot or even having seen the enemy. This was even though Monty had seen their positions were clearly untenable in the event of any determined German attack and could easily be outflanked and encircled. With great and uncharacteristic diplomacy and tact, Monty got them to see that this was not so much a ''retreat'' as a ''strategic realignment'' to positions they could realistically hold, upon which the Germans would blunt their offensive strength, and from which a quick counter-attack could be launched. The Americans complied.
312** Montgomery famously said that Operation Market Garden (almost entirely his brainchild) hadn't failed, because 90% of the objectives were achieved. Unfortunately, that remaining 10% included establishing a position on the German side of the Rhine, aka the entire point of the operation.
313* In the Pacific Theatre of UsefulNotes/WorldWarII, the Japanese were notorious for refusing to surrender, which they considered shameful. The few Japanese who did surrender early on gave their captors a word of advice: telling Japanese troops to "cease resisting," rather than "surrender," would greatly overcome that indoctrination. This resulted in higher numbers of captures, although the Japanese still continued to fight to the death in most cases.
314* Common in politics from every side, "It's not a cut, it's an efficiency dividend", "We're not raising taxes, we're indexing them to inflation", "It's not a new tax it's a levy/co-payment/tax adjustment", "It's not a broken promise, circumstances changed which meant we couldn't fulfill our original commitments", "[[RefugeInAudacity It's not a lie, it's an alternative fact]]". This is the reason for the counter from the people, "left wing, right wing, same shitty bird."
315* The Republican and Democratic Parties in the United States respectively use the term RINO and DINO (Republican/Democrat InNameOnly) to describe members who strike them as this trope (identifying with one party while seemingly promoting the values of the other), particularly when they support the entire party platform [[NoTrueScotsman except for one item]].
316* Due to the peculiarities of British History, cavalry regiments did not have sergeants. They had Corporals of Horse, which were exactly equivalent to sergeants, but since even enlisted cavalrymen were gentlemen, and the word "sergeant" shares a root with the word "servant", the term could not be applied to them. To this day, the Household Cavalry maintains the tradition (though it is the only regiment to do so).
317* The same tradition applies in the French army: the infantry has "caporaux" and "sergents", the cavalry (now armored regiments) has "brigadiers" and "Maréchaux des Logis". Same ranks, same functions, different names.
318* This is also the reason why NATO Rank Codes exist. A Canadian Warrant-Officer, a German Hauptfeldwebel, a UK Colour Sergeant, and a United States Sergeant First-Class are all the same rank, which you conveniently know since they are all listed as NATO OR-7. The same can be said for the Canadian Petty Officer 1st Class, the German Hauptbootsmann, the UK and United States Navy Chief Petty Officer, and the United States Marines Gunnery Sergeant, which are ''also'' all NATO OR-7 ranks found in Naval branches.
319* "They aren't dolls, they're action figures". This trope has gotten so bad that companies advertise their own products as doll or action figure.
320* A common occurrence when people don't want to use the word "War". As can be seen in the examples below, there are sometimes some very slight legal or political distinctions to be drawn by avoiding the word, but the ''practical'' difference is still zero.
321** Vietnam and Korea were both called ''Police Actions'', not Wars. Because, per the Constitution, for the US to declare war requires an Act of Congress, and the respective Presidents knew they would not get it.
322** During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Blockade of Cuba was [[InsistentTerminology insistently termed]] a Quarantine - because a naval blockade is legally an Act of War, and Kennedy both did not want to signal that he was going to war with Cuba (and thus, also, the [=USSR=]) and, again, would probably not have got the requisite declaration of War from Congress (and certainly not fast enough to get the ships in place).
323** UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror is a war in name only; once again Congress never declared war on anyone but instead passed an Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) back in 2002, and keeps renewing it whenever some President wants to take an action in the Middle East.
324** As should be evident by now, the US [[BlatantLies has not fought a war]] since 1945.
325** During the Suez Crisis, British Prime Minister Sir UsefulNotes/AnthonyEden insisted the UK was not at war with Egypt and was merely in "armed conflict."
326** Similarly, the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022 was termed by president Vladimir Putin to be not a war, but rather a "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_conducting_a_special_military_operation special operation]]".
327** In many, many, many cases, including the aforementioned "special operation", the aggressor Government will insist they are not ''invading'' another country, they are ''liberating'' that country. Similarly, there are no offensive wars, only defensive ones. If you have to defend yourself all over another country and take their stuff, that goes to show what a horrible threat they were, to require so much defense. Adults are really disappointing sometimes.
328%%* {{Inverted}} by [[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/well-yes-but-actually-no this meme]].
329* Businesses these days like to insist that their staff are not employees but ''associates'' or ''family'', and that you are not a customer but a ''guest'' in an attempt to sound more friendly or like they're not OnlyInItForTheMoney. They're not fooling anyone.
330* In all US court jurisdictions, there is a general rule that hearsay statements (statements made outside of the testimony of the current trial used to prove the truth of the matter asserted) are inadmissible. There are plenty of exceptions to the hearsay rule that allow certain types of out of court statements into evidence. One of the exceptions is the opposing party statement, where a statement by the plaintiff or the defendant can be used by the other party. In many jurisdictions, an opposing party statement is defined by the law as not hearsay, even though something being not-hearsay makes it just as admissible as if the statement constitutes an exception to the hearsay rule.
331* When representatives from Creator/ElectronicArts were called up in front of a committee about the [[RevenueEnhancingDevices gambling-like loot boxes]] in their games, most notably ''VideoGame/StarWarsBattlefrontII2017'', their representative infamously insisted that they didn't like calling them "loot boxes"- they preferred the term "surprise mechanics". This came in for a metric crapton of mockery from unimpressed gamers, who [[MemeticMutation sent it memetic]] with responses like [[DigitalPiracyIsOkay "It's not 'piracy', it's 'cost-free acquisition'."]]
332* US Vice President Dan Quayle once said, "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
333* People in high-ranking positions in business and government tend not to be "fired" or "terminated". Instead, they are often [[AnOfferYouCantRefuse "asked to resign"]].
334* During the spree of failed lawsuits UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump and his legal team filed in an attempt to overturn the 2020 US presidential election -- all of which fell through, [[FrivolousLawsuit largely due to their claims of voter fraud conspiring against Trump lacking any evidence]] -- [[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/11/11/trump-lawyers-suffer-embarrassing-rebukes-judges-over-voter-fraud-claims/ one lawyer during a Philadelphia case was questioned by the federal judge]] on whether there were any Republican observers present while votes were being counted. The lawyer said that there was "a nonzero number of people in the room." Judge Diamond was ''not'' amused by this and immediately got the lawyer to say "yes."
335* Authoritarianism and totalitarianism are sometimes used interchangeably since their methods are similar to each other (for example the use of oppression, lack of freedom of speech, censorship, forbids individualism) and in some cases it's pretty accurate.
336** Similarly, some (often Libertarians) argue there's ''no'' fundamental difference between Fascism and Socialism/Communism, because both are basically forms of hyper-statist authoritarian control that claim to be for the Greater Good, and the actual conflict is over statist "market share", so to speak (see also TheHorseshoeEffect). As you might expect, both leftists and rightists [[BerserkButton hate this argument]] only slightly less than they hate each other.
337* In Japanese IdolSinger culture, there is a distinct difference between the terms "graduate" and "withdraw" when it comes to an idol retiring. Both words relate to the idol moving on past her idol career, but when an idol "graduates", it is treated as an amicable departure, usually accompanied by a farewell performance. Conversely, an idol "withdrawing" is seen as due to less than pleasant circumstances, such as an idol being fired.
338* Serial killer David Berkowitz, aka Son of Sam, claimed "I didn't want to hurt them. I only wanted to kill them."
339* Germany's Vice Chancellor Robert Habeck: "They are not insolvent, they just stop producing."
340** Habeck again: He said it wasn't the economic situation that's bad, but "the data."
341* UsefulNotes/NikolaTesla strongly objected to the media calling his proposed invention, Teleforce, a "DeathRay". Why? "Rays are not applicable", it's really more of a Death ''Beam''.
342* Neo-Nazis will sometimes insist on being called "National Socialists" or "[=NatSocs=]", which is just a less pejorative way of saying "Nazi" and means they hold the exact same beliefs as a Nazi[[note]]It's also what the Nazis consistently called ''themselves''; "Nazi" originated as an insulting nickname for the NSDAP stereotyping them as reactionary hicks[[/note]].
343[[/folder]]

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