Line #7 Funny/TheLostFleet


1	* Geary's description, in a conversation with Captain Duellos, of his arrival with Captain Desjani to meet her parents ... while trying to dodge the media and government big noises. As Duellos put it, "I've seen movies like this." They probably starred someone comparable to Creator/LeslieNielsen, Creator/EddieMurphy, or Creator/RobertDowneyJr.
2	-->"We made it to the high-rise where Tanya's parents lived, and it was one of those secured-access places, so we jumped out of the car, ran up to the access panel, and Tanya pounded on it, yelling, 'They changed the access code! Mom, Dad, let us in!'"
3	** Tanya's mother to her daughter upon recognizing her new son-in-law:
4	-->"You're trying to kill me aren't you? Were you hoping for a stroke or a heart attack?"
5	** During said visit, Tanya's parents talk about how Geary's presence was causing an uproar the planet hadn't seen since the royal wedding. Geary, in an attempt to break the ice, talks about how he was actually around for that wedding a hundred years ago. It didn't work.
6	* The ending of ''Victorious'' becomes subtly humorous when you realize that [[spoiler: it's basically the classic RomCom ending [[OutOfGenreExperience transposed]] into ''The Lost Fleet'' series. Love interest leaving main character behind? Check. [[RaceForYourLove Mad dash through crowds and security to make it to her terminal in time?]] Check. AnguishedDeclarationOfLove? Check. On-the-spot marriage proposal? Check. Fortunately, it doesn't come off as terribly silly as it might, given that it's all justified in-universe. Which, frankly, makes it funnier.]]
7	* Geary breaking new ground in masculine cluelessness as he wonders why suddenly his love-interest cum political advisor and his female flag captain can't stand each other. It ''can't'' have anything to do with ''him''!
8	** It gets even better when Rione flat out accuses Geary of having feelings for his captain. Geary denies it, reasoning in his head that Desjani is simply a very close confidant that he trusts and feels comfortably telling extremely personal things to...[[LoveEpiphany at which point he realizes EXACTLY how deep his feelings for Tanya go]] after realizing just how close he is to her. He also realizes [[LoveTriangle exactly what situation he's in.]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck And that he's gone and put his foot right in it.]]
9	* Rione on one particularly obstructive fleet captain: "Numos is so dense that I'm surprised he doesn't have his own event horizon."
10	* When Geary relieves Captain Vebos of command of the ''Arrogant'' for [[FriendlyFire nearly killing Alliance marines with an unauthorized bombardment]] and being an all-around pain in the neck, Vebos tries to resist this. Geary orders the marines aboard his ship to serve as an "Honor Guard" to march him to the shuttle, to the delight of his crew.
11	--> '''Carabali:''' I must admit that the deciding factor was probably that the ''Arrogant's'' crew appeared unresponsive to Commander Vebos's orders regarding the matter.... They don't appear to be in great distress over losing [[MeanBoss Commander Vebos]].
12	--> '''Geary:''' Somehow that doesn't come as a great shock to me.
13	* At the climax of the first book, when Numos and the ''Orion'' are placed in command of Formation Fox Five Two, and he screws up the attack by jumping the gun, he has the gall to call Geary and complain that he isn't getting enough combat. Geary replies with the following rebuke, and then hangs up on him;
14	--> '''Geary''': If you wish to complain about your current position relative to the battle, Captain Numos, I suggest that you direct your complaints to the commander of Formation Fox Five Two, I believe you will find him on the ''Orion''.
15	* Geary to a ship trying bull another aside: "''Audacious'', be advised that if you are attempting to mate with ''Resolution'', you might try buying her a few drinks first." When they sheepishly move back into position, the response is "''Resolution'' wishes to report that her virtue is unharmed."
16	* In ''Invincible'', negotiations with the [[StarfishAliens spider-wolves]] get confusing when the aliens start demanding a "Universal fixing substance." None of the higher-ups have any idea what this is referring to, but in a moment of brilliance, Geary gathers the [[AlmightyJanitor chiefs]] together and asks them. The unanimous response? [[spoiler: [[{{DuctTapeForEverything}} Duct tape]].]]
17	** This moment is made much funnier in the audiobook due to the narrator giving the Chief that Geary is talking to a [[{{BigApplesauce}} Brooklyn accent]]. This (when combined with his speech patterns) makes him come across as being [[{{TheMafia}} a Mafioso]].
18	* At one point in ''Invincible'', Rione says the following:
19	-->[[{{ItMakesSenseInContext}} Admiral, would you please stop discovering new alien species]].
20	** Also in that book is Desjani's completely deadpan response to learning the species that created the enormous dreadnaughts and planet fortresses looks like... teddy bears.
21	--->Cute little cows. Homicidal, cute little teddy bear-cows who build giant war machines.
22	* Desjani is describing the dream in which she saw John Geary sleeping in the cold dark of his survival capsule:
23	---> "I saw you in the dream and I yelled at you."
24	-->'''Geary''': Your reaction on seeing me was to yell at me? That I have no trouble believing."
25	* Captain Badaya's glee at having foiled Fleet Headquarters gambit to incite the fleet into a coup'detat - specifically, which he did by obeying orders and ''not'' acting like a loose cannon.
26	* General Charban's despair over trying to get a straight answer out of the Dancers:
27	-->"I asked them why they were here. The brief response said 'we are on a mission'. What Mission? An 'important mission'. Admiral, why don't you shoot me now and put me out of my misery?"
28	** And when someone else finally figures out how to talk to them [[spoiler: by phrasing their terminology in poetry]] the poor general is ready to rip his hair out. Someone else had easily been able to do in a day what he had been struggling at for months.
29	* Geary realizing that one of the staff officers serving in his auxiliary fleet deserves a commendation and wondering how he's supposed to write it up: The thing he needs to commend Lieutenant Jamensen for is her talent for [[{{BotheringByTheBook}} writing extremely confusing but technically accurate reports so that the upper brass will leave the fleet alone and let them do their job]].
30	* A marine's space jump goes awry and a group of ships is sent to retrieve him. The ship that catches him declares it with a "GOAL!" and demands ransom from the marine contingent.
31	* In ''Steadfast'', when looking for help in tracking down and recovering two kidnapped officers, one agency gives a response so obnoxiously bureaucratic that Desjani requests permission to blow up their headquarters on their way out of the system. Geary reluctantly states that there's probably some form they'd have to fill out first, and they don't have time to wait for approval to come through.
32	* In ''Guardian'' when Dauntless enters the boundaries of the Sol star system, Geary dusts off a very old regulation for the occasion. It ends with fake tattoo guns spraying those who can't avoid them in the hallways, Marines assaulting passersby with balloons and stuffed rabbits, and a costumed reenactment with several sailors dressed up as ancient royals of the stars, complete with well put together props. In the aftermath, it's also mentioned that one of the hell-lance crews adopted one of the rabbits as a mascot.
33	* Whenever I read about Captain Falco, I always imagine him [[{{Franchise/Starfox}} with a giant cartoon bird head]].
34	* In "Resolute," drunk marines smuggle a duck aboard the ''Dauntless,'' and work to keep it hidden for as long as possible. By the time Desjani learns about it, people are too attached to their new mascot to give it up. So she lets it stay aboard via a loophole by enlisting it as a crewmember. Then she gives it the rank of ensign, so that all the marines have to salute Ensign Duck as a way of punishment.
35	* An ongoing BrickJoke is that General Carabali or whoever the ranking marine is, says they will find volunteers for a dangerous mission. Every marine volunteered upon enlistment, so they are just assigned the job.
36	* In "Implacable" The Wooareek turn out to be the most advanced aliens humans have met. They also have a TotallyRadical Speech pattern which makes them sound like surfers.

Context Funny / TheLostFleet