Line #1 Funny/RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms


1	* When Liu Bei visits Zhuge Liang's residence for the first time, he finds Zhuge Liang absent. So, he tells the servant his [[TryToFitThatOnABusinessCard full title]] in hope of making a good impression. However, the servant flatly replies that the title is too long for him to remember, and calls it gibberish.
2	* Any scene where Cao Cao escapes is guaranteed to produce some laughs, even if it turns him into the resident ButtMonkey and CrossesTheLineTwice in doing so. We have, to wit:
3	** Cao Cao's abortive first attempt to assassinate Dong Zhuo ends in an overly-contrived excuse to ''present the (borrowed) sword as a gift''. Then he flees the scene (after [[DumbMuscle Lu Bu]], of all people, saw through this), kills his uncle's family in a [[PoorCommunicationKills fatal case of (literal) Chinese Whispers]] and finally his uncle lest he find the bodies. Distracting his uncle with "LookOverThere!" sure was ''great'' practice for the next example...
4	** Cao Cao's escape from Lu Bu's ambush: just as Cao Cao is heading towards his escape route, Lu Bu arrives on the scene... and, [[MissedHimByThatMuch not recognising him at all]], taps him on the helmet with his halberd and asks, "Where is Cao Cao?" Cao Cao's response? "LookOverThere!" ''It works''. It helps that Cao had used his arm to cover the lower half of his face.
5	** Cao Cao fleeing the Battle of Chi Bi: He gets ambushed by Lu Meng, Ling Tong, Gan Ning and Taishi Ci and Lu Xun (all of Wu), and barely manages to escape. [[TemptingFate Then he laughs at Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang for not setting up ambushes there...]] and gets attacked by Zhao Yun. Following their escape, he laughs again... and when his troops ''do'' [[LampshadeHanging call him out on it]], Zhang Fei charges them. And then, just when he thinks he's escaped for good, he does a third time... and lo and behold, Guan Yu shows up. And somehow, the Chinese proverb still goes, "Speak of ''Cao Cao'', and he appears."
6	** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOIpiPgCJdc Here is a Chinese otomad version of the scene]]. Pay attention to the general's face at Cao Cao's side, it is as if he is saying "What the hell?" or "Maybe it will be better if I kill him now."
7	** Cao Cao's defeat against Ma Chao:
8	--->They came close. Cao Cao heard one of his pursuers shout to another, "Cao Cao is he (who is) in the red robe!"
9	--->So he hastily tore off his red robe and threw it away. He also heard one say "Cao Cao is he with the long beard!"
10	--->[[BeardnessProtectionProgram At once Cao Cao took the sword that he wore at his side and sawed off some of the beard.]] Yet again a soldier recognized him and told Ma Chao that Cao Cao had now cut his beard, whereupon the order went forth to capture short beards. [[VillainExitStageLeft And then Cao Cao wrapped the corner of a flag about neck and jowl and fled.]]
11	** While this may be unintentional, Cao Cao's enemies (namely Liu Bei's faction and Sun Quan's faction) love spreading rumors about Ma Teng's planning to invade Cao Cao's land in order to keep his attention elsewhere. It has become so effective that Cao Cao believed it every time he heard the rumor. The rumor only stopped when Cao Cao decided to execute Ma Teng to end the threat for good. While it is true that Ma Teng had been at open hostilities with Cao Cao, readers cannot help but wonder whether it is the strategic concern that made Cao Cao kill Ma Teng, or the baseless rumors had done most of the work.
12	* Liu Bei's marriage to Lady Sun (Sun Quan's sister, a.k.a. Sun Shang Xiang in ''VideoGame/DynastyWarriors'' and the operas). It's almost HilariousInHindsight when considered in today's context, from Zhuge Liang's counter-plan to save Liu Bei (from the planned capture by Sun Quan and Zhou Yu's henchmen) by ''publicizing the wedding'' (predating the paparazzi/tabloids by centuries), to Lady Sun and her entourage (practically an AmazonBrigade) scaring the crap out of Liu Bei in the nuptial chambers -- and scolding the Wu generals into submission when they elope. And all this while Sun Quan and Zhou Yu are put through the HumiliationConga by everyone else involved (except Liu Bei, who's too nice -- and a hostage for the most part). At the end when Zhou Yu is retreating after a failed final attempt to salvage the whole ordeal, the soldiers of Liu Bei stick around ''just to taunt him''.
13	* On the subject of UnfortunateNames:
14	** Cao Cao's given name consists of a character that, when pronounced slightly differently, is also used to write one of the many Chinese words for "fuck," and is the "grass" of the infamous "grass mud horse" meme. The "mud horse" part just sounds similar to "Your mother."
15	** Additionally, "Cao" is usually mispronounced as "Cow" by some English speakers, instead of the more correct-sounding "Tsaow". Hence, Cao Cao is referred as "Cow Cow" and his son, Cao Pi, is regrettably referred as "Cow Pee".
16	** In addition, there are some names that are unfortunate for English speakers, such as [[Franchise/MastersOfTheUniverse He Man]], who lasts only two or three paragraphs in Chapter 12. His only line of dialogue: "I am He Man, the devil who shoots across the sky. Who dare fight with me?" (Unfortunately for him, the relatively minor character Cao Hong does, faking retreat before cutting him down.) At least it was several centuries too early to be intentional. [[note]] This name is not [[UsefulNotes/WhyMaoChangedHisName pronounced even remotely like the English]] "He Man", but more like "Huh Mahn".[[/note]]
17	** In the same vein of He Man, there's also the Wu general Lu Kang, son of Lu Xun. It sounds normal at first, but add one letter, and he may be mistaken as that [[Franchise/MortalKombat turkey-yelling kombatant.]]
18	** There is also the case of Du Yu, a Jin general near the end of the book, which leads to many a poor joke.[[labelnote:Example]][[WhosOnFirst Du Yu Understand?]][[/labelnote]]
19	** Man Chong, the Wei official responsible for defending Hefei and subsequently many of Sun Quan's failures to conquer it, has the style name, "Boning". Judging from the records of the time, [[DoubleEntendre Man Boning was very popular in Wei]].
20	** Of course, no list is complete without mentioning the most unfortunate one of all, a very obscure man who served Gongsun Zan: Wang Men.
21	* Mi Heng deserves a mention for his sheer ability to diss Cao Cao and all of his officers in Chapter 23 (where he both enters and exits), and his final line (before he's executed) in the novel: "You are like a god in a temple: You sit still and receive sacrifice, but the lack of intelligence is pitiful."
22	* Near the beginning, a cabal of Eunuchs dominates the court of the [[VestigialEmpire Han Empire]]. One courtier tries to have them executed as part of an attempted coup. The book comments, "The Eunuchs strongly objected to that plan."
23	* It's less funny and more amusing, but the fact that Cao Cao, along with several other leaders and officers (but mostly Cao Cao it seems), will be given a plan by an adviser/another officer, and respond with "You say what I think", or one of the many variations of this line. (It's basically the military strategy version of AscendedFanon or GladIThoughtOfIt.)
24	* The scene where Liu Bei and his oath brothers finally manage to meet the Sleeping Dragon is hella funny due to Zhang Fei's frustration.
25	-->"What an arrogant fellow is this Master?" said he. "There is our brother waiting, while he sleeps on perfectly carelessly. I will go to the back of the place and let off a bomb and see if that will rouse him."
26	* Cao Cao holds an archery tournament at the Bronze Bird tower, with the first prize being a silk robe, and what should have been a fine display of marksmanship gets escalated to ludicrous levels:
27	** Cao Xiu hits the bullseye,
28	** A disgruntled Wen Ping challenges him for the robe and hits the bullseye,
29	** Cao Hong wants in on the action and hits the bullseye,
30	** Zhang He hits the bullseye while shooting backwards,
31	** Xiahou Yuan hits the bullseye while ''bent over backwards'',
32	** Xu Huang hits '''the twig holding the silk robe up''',
33	** [[ShaggyDogStory ...and then Xu Chu just pops out of nowhere and mugs Xu Huang for it, and the resulting brawl ruins the robe, so Cao Cao has to hand out robes for everybody.]]
34	** Making it better, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Cao Cao himself was laughing at the whole situation]].
35	* Early in the story, when Sun Jian obtains the Imperial Seal and tries to run away with it, he makes the excuse that he has fallen ill and needs to leave the battlefield. Yuan Shao, who was already tipped off as to Sun Jian's intentions, snarks "Yes, so I have heard: you have come down with a terrible case of 'Imperial Seal'".
36	* The first few chapters after Zhuge Liang is recruited could be named "Zhuge Liang humiliates everyone". He perfectly predicts the actions of everyone on three sides of the conflict, roasts a bunch of scholars who think he's too young for his position, and annoys Zhou Yu out of his mind. The crowning moment comes when he "borrows" several hundred thousand of Cao Cao's arrows: he fakes a raid on Cao Cao's navy, which retaliates with a massive hail of arrows. Except most of Zhuge Liang's ships were dummies stuffed with straw, so after the arrows hit home, he just sails off with them, all while his soldiers cry "Thanks to the Prime Minister [Cao Cao] for the gift of the arrows!" And as the icing on the cake, this was his method of getting out of Zhou Yu's plot of having him executed for dereliction of duty by failing to produce 100,000 arrows in three days.
37	* During the Campaign of [=HanZhong=], Cao Cao placed his camp near the river as a bridgehead to defend Liu Bei's advance. Concerned about Cao Cao's forces, Zhuge Liang comes up with a trick to "persuade" Cao Cao to retreat by ramming drums every night. Due to Cao Cao's paranoid personality, he has to wake up the whole army to defend the camp against a surprise attack that would never happen. Eventually, this wears out Cao Cao so much that he is forced to break camp and retreat about 15km just so that he can sleep well at night again.
38	* During one of the Northern Campaigns, Sima Yi makes a wager with Cao Zhen that if the Shu Army doesn't show up within ten days, he'll come to Cao Zhen's camp dressed as a woman to admit he was wrong.
39	* Speaking of "dressing like a woman," during Zhuge Liang's last Northern Campaign before his death, he sends a present to Sima Yi: A deerskin dress. Sima Yi doesn't bite on the taunt, however.
40	* Sima Yi puts one over on Cao Shuang and his followers by putting on an over-the-top performance of being [[PlayingSick ill to the point of death]], including acting too weak to sit up, and even spilling soup all over himself.

Context Funny / RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms