| 1 | * Baber opens the series with some InsaneTrollLogic. |
| 2 | -->'''Baber:''' ''Wine'' gums, ''rye'' bread, ''licor''ice! Western traps designed to trick Muslims into drinking ''alcohol''! |
| 3 | * Baber having an issue with his daughter's clothes: |
| 4 | -->'''Baber:''' "You look like a Protestant!" |
| 5 | -->'''Layla:''' "Don't you mean ''prostitute?''" |
| 6 | -->'''Baber:''' "No! I mean Protestant!" |
| 7 | * During a heated argument, Baber tries to get Rayyan to move and ends up almost shoving her (note that they both regard touching non-family-members of the opposite sex as being a major taboo): |
| 8 | -->'''Rayyan:''' "You can't touch me!" |
| 9 | -->'''Baber:''' [backs off, looking shocked] "A thousand apologies, sister Rayyan! [{{Beat}}] Gimme that piece of wood so I can push her off!" |
| 10 | * From 6x01: |
| 11 | -->'''Yusef:''' "You have colorful pillows!" |
| 12 | * "Dating Game" - the whole episode. |
| 13 | * To Amaar, after Rayyan checked Baber's temperature. |
| 14 | -->'''Baber:''' "Your wife just tried to get to second base with me." |
| 15 | * Discussing Halloween: |
| 16 | -->'''Fatima:''' It's only Halloween. It's not like they're out drinking and dirty dancing! |
| 17 | -->'''Fatima's son:''' We're not? |
| 18 | -->'''Fatima:''' Watch your smart mouth or you go nowhere! |
| 19 | -->'''Baber:''' What if he leaves Islam to become a witch? |
| 20 | -->'''Fatima's son:''' You can ''do'' that? |
| 21 | * About a woman wearing a niqab: |
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