Line #10 Funny/DayNine


1	According to his website, [=Day[9]=] is a stand-up comedian. This explains the high ratio of amusement in the show.
2
3	[[folder:The Dailies]]
4	* "A Daily with no story," from [[http://blip.tv/day9tv/day-9-daily-337-p2-funday-monday-5453003 Day[9] Daily #337 Part 2]] (starts at around 14:30). And I quote: "We are going to watch this game and, with not a single word spoken, we are going to receive... a story. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: grenelve vs. Goose."
5	** To explain, the Funday Monday challenge is for a Terran to immediately lift-off and move somewhere. It's [=TvT=], and Goose kills one of his six workers, loads the other five up, and flies his CC off the map. Then he says, via chat, "[Proxy Error #404: Disconnecting]". His opponent sends a worker out to scout as normal, sees no base there, and then... disconnects, scoring Goose the win.
6	** "The end!"
7	* In one of the ''[=Day9 Dailies=] Funday Monday'' episodes, [=Day9=] is commenting when one of the players, after hearing that this was for a Funday Monday, says that he hates [=Day9=] for [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYZQdWqakqE ruining Christmas for his daughter]]. [=Day9=] looks appalled at this and is categorically denying that he did anything to his daughter and is utterly incensed at the accusation. Then the guy elaborates, saying he was watching one of his casts with his daughter and [=Day9=] cracked a joke about Santa Claus not being real, which utterly destroys this little girl. Cut to [=Day9=] looking sheepishly into the camera.
8	* From ''[[http://blip.tv/day9tv/day-9-daily-381-p1-funday-monday-worst-partner-of-all-time-5796778 Day9 Daily #381]]'', though you'll only get it if you're knowledgeable on college-level math:
9	--> The inches of my penis form a countably infinite set, because when you think your out of more inches you can simply find more by inspection.
10	--> If you draw a curve of her pleasure in bed with me, she gets asymptotic close to climax. And right when she is like "I'm epsilon there, I epsilon there!" that’s when I climax, and you see it breaks off like a step function. Because at that point sex is no longer continuous.
11	* Funday Mondays #293 and #381: The Worst 2v2 Partner Of All Time. [[http://blip.tv/day9tv/day-9-daily-293-funday-monday-worst-partner-ever-5086493 So popular]], it [[http://blip.tv/file/5779732 merited]] [[http://blip.tv/file/5779742 reprising]] [[http://blip.tv/file/5779721 later]]. The only place you'll see a match where one player uses a [[AllOrNothing 6-pool]] tactic to [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder kill his ally]], while one on the other team takes it to mean "build six spawning pools" and is left with precisely 0 {{Worker Unit}}s and 0 minerals.
12	* Funday Monday #551: Day[9]'s [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything rather (accidentally) suggestive]] Nydus Worm impression, and the request to the community not to 'shop inappropriate GIF images from it. Day[9] himself begins laughing hysterically when he realises he was "practicing for Valentine's Day".
13	* Funday Monday #604: Mind Games with [=ItMeJP=]. Day[9] and JP are basically just messing around, doing their placement matches in the most bass-ackwards way possible, when [[http://youtu.be/5yQZCZ1-rtI Sean's sound cuts out]]. The rest... you must see to believe.
14	[[/folder]]
15
16	[[folder:Spellslingers]]
17	* [[http://youtu.be/TCzLf2MTt3c Episode 3]] stars LargeHam Jesse "WebVideo/OMFGCata" Cox, and things quickly go OffTheRails, starting with an accent-collecting Seacoast Drake to an absolutely overwhelming block phase to Jesse's complete and total Mana Flood.
18	** To give an idea of just how Mana Flooded Jesse was, by turn 8 he concedes, as he only has 2 weak creatures out and 2 Islands in his hand, while Sean has 6 strong creatures that he can boost. For fun, they then agree to make some absurd plays before Day[9] finishes him off. After a bunch of nonsense plays, Jesse says his final play before ending his turn will be playing a bunch of cards off the top of his deck. He proceeds to place down 6 lands. Cue hysterical laughter
19	--> '''Jesse''': I was thoroughly punished for that!
20	** Special mention also has to go out to Jesse's turn 5 rant about the Merfolk and his Seacoast Drake.
21	* [[http://youtu.be/-sGFq0Ym-Mo Episode 9]] stars Allie Brosh of ''Webcomic/HyperboleAndAHalf''. It starts out pretty straightforward (especially since, believe it or not, Brosh was probably the single best player on the show up until that point)... but after they're done, they start playing [[http://youtu.be/oOpYtTfmFYY Silly Magic]] and [[{{Calvinball}} making it all up as they go]].
22	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R14-LWBRo_I Episode 11]] is against Joshua Ovenshire of WebVideo/SmoshGames. It begins when Sean has problems explaining that Jovenshire "[[ARareSentence equipped his Rhino]]," and involves Joven hitting a full-on HeroicBSOD when Sean drops a major bomb card.
23	[[/folder]]
24
25	[[folder:Other]]
26	* During a 12-hour livestream marathon to help raise votes for [[https://www.youtube.com/user/RosannaPansino Rosanna Pansino]]'s campaign at [[http://www.kingofweb.com King of the Web]], [=Day9=] promised to allow [[WebVideo/OMFGCata Jesse Cox]] to apply make-up to his face if Ro broke 910,000 votes. She did, and he did. [[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v373/Mercury_Knight/Screenshot2012-07-07at090210.png There]] [[http://yfrog.com/c88eqwp were]] [[https://twitter.com/JohanRonstrom/status/221514785362161665/photo/1 no]] [[https://twitter.com/Jonis326/status/221518288545529856/photo/1 survivors]].
27	* The outro to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AB-OZheBN0 Part 18 of the Mostly Walking play through of Grim Fandango]].
28	-->''America's Pub!''
29	* At the end of 2018, [=Day9=], Tasteless, Artosis and [=iNcontroL=] threw a three-day Christmas tournament in the San Francisco Bay Area, inviting bunches of people (as well as Sean and Nick's mother) to compete and have fun. As they stalled while a 2v2 Archon Mode game was being set up, Geoff became [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tyQy7A7eRo&t=1h55m10s deeply indignant]] about something:
30	-->'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "It's pseudo-common practice in the States that when you buy a house, the seller -- now illegally, in most places -- can ask for you to write a letter as to why you are the right fit for that house. Isn't that weird?"\
31	'''Tasteless''': "Write a letter?"\
32	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "Literally write a letter."\
33	'''Tasteless''': "That's really weird."\
34	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "Like you're applying for a college. Your letter would be why your family's the right fit..."\
35	'''Artosis''': "That doesn't make sense."\
36	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "Why it's important to you..."\
37	'''Artosis''': "[[BigWhat What??]] So weird!"\
38	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "It's ''common practice.''"[[note]]Geoff lived ([[DueToTheDead moment of silence]]) in Bay Area near Sean, and so had a chance to be exposed to the abnormally competitive housing market there.[[/note]]\
39	'''Artosis''': "Why would you need to be the right fit for a house??"\
40	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': "Why does the person selling it care??? 'Gimme the money!' "\
41	'''Artosis''': "This is like someone at the grocery store, and like you're buying peanut butter, and... 'Why do you want this peanut butter?' You're like..." [[{{Beat}} (gibberish)]] "...'To eat it.'"\
42	'''[=iNcontroL=]''': " 'To put on my weiner!' "\
43	(assorted laughter)\
44	'''Tasteless''': " '...That was the right answer, sir, here you go. I was worried you were just gonna eat that with celery. Okay.' "
45	* [=Day9=]'s [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci67Ky5gU2o rant]] about Jade Druid in ''{{VideoGame/Hearthstone}}''.
46	-->'''[=Day9=]''': I hope all of a sudden you're just left-handed, and you just reach for elevator buttons with your right hand out of instinct and you're just missing pressing it, and everyone is like, "has he never been in an elevator? Does he not know?" I hope that happens. I don't really want your life to ''end''. No, I don't want you to die, that'd be way too severe. But I hope that you struggle to eat cereal because you don't even... Y'know what? Screw left-hand dominance, I hope you just ''run out of dominant hands''. Whatever brain circuitry is in your non-dominant hand, I hope it clones to the other one. Eating cereal is harder; you brush your teeth, you go into your nose sometimes, you have minty toothpaste, it burns. I hope that happens to you. So I'm not gonna review some cards about ''your'' deck archetype. I don't ''need'' to. You're already like, ''(in a SimpletonVoice)'' "well, this turn I'll summon a larger and larger man, which will allow me later on to summon an even larger man!" Yeah, no, your decks aren't cool, they don't take finesse, your brain is small, and both your hands suck.

Context Funny / DayNine