Line #57 Fanfic/TheTwoYearEmperor


1	-> Now, since talking is a free action, let me proceed to tell you the story of my last couple of days in great detail, which won’t take any time here in the present because your world is broken. Specifically, let me spin for you the tale of how the gods told me, ''again'', to please stop breaking the world.
2	->--'''Jake''', preparing to regale his latest exploit
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4	A [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Dungeons and Dragons]] fanfic by [[https://www.patreon.com/davidstorrs David Storrs]] (available free on his Patreon page).
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6	Jake is a 40 year old programmer who [[SummoningRitual has been yanked]] to the land of Flobovia and made ruler of said country, due to a quirk in local law. He is thus in the unique position to be the de facto dictator of about thirty million citizens and having to deal with the invading army of Deorsi.
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8	To deal with that, he has only his wits, his [[LoopholeAbuse encyclopaedic knowledge of the world]] (courtesy of a mind whammy by the wizards who summoned him), and the outsiders view on the rules governing Flobovia and what he soon comes to call Stupidworld. You see, the world as it is, [[RPGMechanicsVerse is modelled after the rules of]] ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'', with the [[RulesLawyer Rules As Written]] interpretation. So Jake naturally has to employ {{munchkin}}ry to have even a chance of saving Flobovia and its capital city, Capital City…
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10	----
11	!!''The Two Year Emperor'' provides examples of:
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13	* AerithAndBob: Literally. Jake's Landguard has Robert, Rob, Bob, and Aerith. Though generally the names tend to be on the mundane side.
14	* AbsurdlySharpBlade: The Wall of Force is two-dimensional, with all the implications thereof.
15	* AntiMagic: Par [[RPGMechanicsVerse for the course]] and a neat trick the Landguards use.
16	* ApocalypseHow: Since Stupidworld is currently on its way to a species extinction, if not all life…
17	* BatmanGambit: Albrecht and [[spoiler:Afi]]
18	* CharacterLevel
19	* CheapGoldCoins
20	* ClownCarBase: Gryfhammr.
21	* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: What would have happened hadn't Jake rescinded the punishment of the bet with Colborn.
22	* DeathIsCheap: [[spoiler:Except for Jake]]
23	* DeityOfHumanOrigin: Gods having "ascension" verboten implies this possibility.
24	* DivineConflict: Team Life and Team Death have a proxy war. Death is winning. Regularly.
25	* DivineIntervention: [[spoiler:Of the CosmicRetcon variety to circumvent Jake's mortality, or inaccessibility to resurrection magic of Stupidworld.]]
26	* DivineRanks: There are major gods, like the [[GodOfGood True God]] (Shailos), the [[GodOfEvil death god]] Neklos, not so major gods like Loki and some others, minor gods and curiously enough overgods setting the rules for the "regular" gods.
27	* DrillSergeantNasty: Duncan. He also moonlights as a OneManArmy.
28	* EarthShatteringKaboom: Considered.
29	* EternalRecurrence: So far the undead apocalypse happened at least half a dozen times, once every few thousand years. And is currently in the process of happening again, even if it hasn't reached Flobovia yet.
30	* EvilLaugh: When a particularly nasty idea takes hold in Jake's brain.
31	* ExperiencePoints: Duh.
32	* ForgottenSuperweapon: Played with, in the sense of ''deliberately'' forgotten. Since the weapon in question would be [[EarthShatteringKaboom devastating]], and forgetting it had considerable advantages as well.
33	* GameBreaker: Jake had multiple so bad they [[ObviousRulePatch necessitated divine intervention]].
34	** Infinite Wishes + FreeingTheGenie, in a sense. Vetoed but only for the last maybe six thousand years.
35	** Infinite Money. No veto.
36	** Infinite Spells bought from {{NPC}}s, or rather buying spells in the market in a capacity completely untenable for the population, let alone the market, to provide. Vetoed.
37	* {{Geas}}: Part and parcel of the world. [[spoiler:And unbeknownst to him, already applied on Jake]]
38	* GodNeedsPrayerBadly: There is definitely a correlation, but it's unclear which enables the other.
39	* GoneHorriblyRight: The Archmagi and Landguard [[spoiler:altering Jake's mind to remove any morality or restraint. When Jake finds out, it means they have a genius with no morality or restraint who wants revenge on them. By the time the dust clears, 2/3rds of the Archmagi and most of the Landguard are dead.]]
40	* GreyAndGrayMorality: No one is exactly evil, including the ones who are. The Deorsi are just trying to [[spoiler:survive the ZombieApocalypse]], Afi is just trying to [[spoiler:not be turned into a sockpuppet by his god]], and the Flobovians would just like to be left alone to enjoy their utterly ridiculous economy.
41	* HaveYouSeenMyGod: Herrún. In fairness, [[GodIsDead she's dead]]. But they're working on it.
42	* HeroicBSOD: Due to in-universe ExecutiveMeddling Jake was pretty much amoral towards Flobovia's enemies. Once he regained his faculties he curled up into a ball or drowned in a magic booze bottle.
43	* {{Immortality}}: Let's see…
44	** ImmortalityBisexuality: Albrecht has been old enough to be both father and mother.
45	** ImmortalProcreationClause: ''Inverted'' by Deorsi law.
46	** LivingForeverIsAwesome: The Deorsi in general, also Jake's opinion
47	** LongevityTreatment: Provided free of charge by the Deorsi church.
48	** ResurrectiveImmortality: Magic generally allows for resurrection. Currently the oppositely aligned death god [[CameBackWrong takes exception]].
49	** WhoWantsToLiveForever: The opinion of the archpriest is that people are meant to die when they die and living forever is subverting His divine plans.
50	* INeedAFreakingDrink: Jake slips increasingly from this into becoming [[TheAlcoholic alcoholic]] to deal with PTSD, which is entirely unknown on Stupidworld.
51	* ItsTheOnlyWayToBeSure: An ace Jake keeps in reserve.
52	* KillTheOnesYouLove: [[spoiler:Due to a ridiculously high diplomacy check BigBad Afi was emotionally considered]] a dear friend when Thomas struck him down.
53	* KnightTemplar: The Landguard protect the Land, the Law, the Ruler—in that order.
54	* LevelGrinding: Openly discussed and employed.
55	* LoopholeAbuse: It's all about munchkinry.
56	* MindRape: In a curious example used both offensively and defensively as a LaserGuidedAmnesia slash psychological HealingShiv.
57	* MoraleEventHorizon: Made a whooshing noise as it passed Jake.
58	* MyCountryRightOrWrong
59	* NotTheIntendedUse: We ''did'' say munchkinry, right?
60	* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: Exploited ''brilliantly'' by Thomas when everyone fails a diplomacy check.
61	* OrbitalBombardment: One of the first tricks out of Jake's bag. When enemy commander Albrecht showed he understood the trick and thanked Jake for showing it to him, cue OhCrap.
62	* PrecisionFStrike: In the entire >200,000 words, there has been one swear that could not be used on US primetime TV.
63	* PrestigeClass: Probably not happening according to WordOfGod
64	* PungeonMaster: Loki and Jake when they engage in a [[HurricaneOfPuns pun duel]]. Though the latter learned to rein himself in, since his opponent is a PhysicalGod. It is simply wiser to keep him happy than to try to win those duels.
65	* PuppeteerParasite: What the death god probably would do, if he knew of [[spoiler:Afi's deception]]. Depending on the degree of puppeteering this might range from AndIMustScream to EmptyShell.
66	* ReasoningWithGod: The whole reason ([[AccidentalPun pardon the pun]]) [[spoiler:Jake is still alive, or—technically speaking—didn't die]]. [[TricksterGod Loki]] also can be reasoned with, within [[RuleOfThree reason]], as long as one is [[OverlyLongGag reasonable]], otherwise one becomes [[DoNotTauntCthulhu seasonable]].
67	* ReligionIsWrong: [[UsefulNotes/{{Atheism}} Jake's stance]]. It tends to come with problems in a setting with multiple [[PhysicalGod physical gods]] and miracles happening.
68	* ReluctantFanserviceGirl: Suze as head chambermaid apparently had this role to previous emperors, [[SexualExtortion with more implied…]]
69	* SecretKeeper: Herrún is one of the divine variety. Sacrificing secrets (and thus being unable to remember or even recognize them) gives her power.
70	* ShoutOut:
71	** Lots of Firefly references, including about half a chapter which is an unabashed shot-for-shot copy of the BigDamnHeroes trope name episode, Safe.
72	** And a couple to Star Wars.
73	** "I spared an idle moment to regret that we couldn't use Plan M. [[{{Series/Leverage}} Colburn died in Plan M. I liked Plan M.]]
74	* ShrinkingViolet: Suze
75	* SlaveryIsASpecialKindOfEvil: Had thankfully been abolished by a previous emperor.
76	** IndenturedServitude still existed, though. Implied to have been taken care of.
77	* SummonEverymanHero: Explicit code of law in Flobovia. For good and bad.
78	* SymbioticPossession: Of the divine variety.
79	* TeamPet: Also Suze. Everyone wants her to overcome her confidence issues.
80	* [[spoiler:TheHeroDies: Necessitating DivineIntervention]].
81	* ThereAreNoTherapists: Not much of an issue for the Stupidworlders. For Jake, on the other hand…
82	* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: When ApocalypseHow can be considered a viable tactic…
83	* TheTrickster: Loki
84	* TheUndead: In bunches.
85	* TurnUndead: The Landguard blow up lots of undead just by yelling at them.
86	* TrappedInAnotherWorld: Part of the premise.
87	* VancianMagic
88	* TheUnfettered: [[spoiler:Mind-altered Jake.]]
89	* WhenSheSmiles: Suze, due to her nearly crippling self-confidence.
90	--> It turns out that, if we ever ran out of magical torches, Suze is quite capable of lighting up a room with her happy smile.

Context Fanfic / TheTwoYearEmperor