1 | -> ''"[[SarcasmMode Yeah,]] [[BrainBleach bestial, lesbian Garchomp sex]]. [[INeedAFreakingDrink Reeaaal tasteful]]."'' |
2 | -->-- '''Jupiter''', watching Mars watch [[RuleThirtyFour a porno VR of]] [[InterspeciesRomance Cynthia and Garchomp]] [[TooMuchInformation doing BDSM stuff together]] |
3 | |
4 | Think you know what the legendary Pokémon are like when they're not out busy trying to save the world? Think again. |
5 | |
6 | ''The Life of the Legendaries'' is a Pokémon fanfic written by Jakayrta on FanFiction.net, known as [[strike:Drakon]] [[strike:Pentacarbonyl]] Drakon on the Bulbagarden forums. It details the story of all the legendary Pokémon, as they would be if they were to live all together in the Hall of Origins. |
7 | |
8 | They seem to live much like a bunch of college students, really. |
9 | |
10 | The fic is here: [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5568055/The_Life_of_the_Legendaries on FanFiction.net]] |
11 | |
12 | ---- |
13 | !!Tropes: |
14 | |
15 | * ActionGirl: Cynthia is ''not'' afraid to get physical when things call for it. In more ways than one. |
16 | * AffablyEvil: Charon, when he's not being a DirtyOldMan. He even goes against Cyrus's orders to help the legendaries. |
17 | * [[SpaceshipGirl Airship Girl]] - Infi, the AI unit on Zero's airship, the Megarig, manifests as a young woman with clothing and hair based on the infinity symbol. |
18 | * AmazonianBeauty: Cynthia is a StatuesqueStunner with ''enormous'' strength (she effortlessly scooped up her Garchomp in a BridalCarry. That's about 209 pounds!), toned muscles and is almost constantly ogled wherever she goes (even by her own Garchomp!) |
19 | %%* AuthorAppeal - The only way to explain why there are many scenes of Lugia in a diaper. |
20 | %%** And the TechnologyPorn. |
21 | %%** And Cynthia as an AmazonianBeauty. |
22 | * BecomingTheCostume - At a contest in Lilycove City, Cynthia and James get costumes that essentially turn them into Pokémon. |
23 | * BrotherSisterIncest - Not quite incest but Latios and Latias tend to make out with each other a lot. |
24 | * CerebusSyndrome - After the first eight or so chapters, the fic starts getting really dark, as the legendaries prepare for some sort of war. It doesn't stop being funny, though. |
25 | * CoolAirship - The ''Hikokyu II'' and the Megarig definitely count. |
26 | * CoolPlane - The Origin Fighter counts. |
27 | * CostumePorn - Hinted at in Chapter 13, where Cynthia laments about not being able to buy a very expensive Garchomp costume. |
28 | ** Actually expressed in Chapter 15, where Cynthia finally gets her hands on that costume (even if it is just a rental), and the final scene of that chapter is two Garchomp making out. Basically, there's ''literal'' costume porn in the story. |
29 | * CrackFic - The very reason this fic exists. Anybody who manages to read to the end of Chapter 13 and ''not'' think that it is a crackfic is probably on crack themselves. |
30 | * CyberpunkIsTechno - A nightclub in Tenebrae City (known as Club Giaru) plays techno music and techno music only. |
31 | * CyberpunkWithAChanceOfRain - Tenebrae City (the {{cyberpunk}} city set in the VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeon world) is always foggy or rainy. |
32 | * {{Cyborg}} - The Ampharos bartender in Club Giaru. And Monazite, the cyborg Sableye. |
33 | * DeflectorShields - Military vessels and Pokémon stadiums and battle arenas have them to protect against Pokémon attacks. |
34 | * DescriptionPorn - The 2021-series costumes, when they finally do appear, [[FixFic are much better technically explained]] than in ''Generation 2021'', the fic upon which they are based. |
35 | * DirtyOldMan - '''CHARON.''' |
36 | * DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale - not really abuse, but Latias played that prank on Latios with the diaper and everything. |
37 | * DudeLooksLikeALady - Reshiram (a male) is mistaken for a female by Lugia. |
38 | ** The [[LadyLooksLikeADude reverse]] is true of Zekrom - see TheLadette below. |
39 | * EatingOptional - Lugia specifically states that Legendaries do not need food to live. |
40 | * FlareGun - The captain of a ferry shoots a flare at Jessie and James when they try to to hijack his ship. |
41 | * FullFrontalAssault - Noland ends up fighting two naked grunts in hand-to-hand combat aboard the ''[[CoolAirship Hikokyu II]]''. Granted, he did steal their clothes beforehand so he could sneak by security. |
42 | * GadgeteerGenius - Mewtwo is pretty good when it comes to inventing stuff. |
43 | * GroinAttack - Cynthia attempts to ''rip off'' a Galactic grunt's genitals after he tried to rape her. |
44 | ** Groudon also takes a Hydro Pump to the crotch as well. |
45 | ** Riley's Lucario got his balls crushed when he ended up grappling with a Galactic grunt. |
46 | ** Noland crushes a Galactic grunt's nuts when he is placed in a chokehold by said grunt. |
47 | * TheGunslinger - Johnny Mac is the only member of the heroic group who uses firearms. |
48 | * HeroesPreferSwords - Palkia's main weapon is his spacial sword. |
49 | * InterspeciesRomance - Cynthia and her Garchomp - first appearing as such in the in-fic movie, ''Champ-Chomp IV''. This story singlehandedly sparked an alternate name for the Cynthia/Garchomp ship, known as [=ChampChompShipping=] ("[[{{Fanon}} officially]]" known as [=SignatureShipping=]). |
50 | * JerkAss - Shaymin, and to a lesser extent, Mew. |
51 | * KineticWeaponsAreJustBetter - Firearms are seen as a perfectly viable alternative to Pokémon. |
52 | * TheLadette - [[spoiler:Zekrom]] is like this. [[spoiler:she]] drinks a ''lot'' of beer and is crude and rude. |
53 | * LaserBlade - Palkia's Spacial Rend manifests as a glowing pink sword. |
54 | ** Psycho Cut can also manifests in this form. |
55 | * MacrossMissileMassacre - The ''Hikokyu II'' attacks [[spoiler:Altomare]] with AGM-82 "Onidrill" radar guided missiles. |
56 | * MagneticWeapons - the ''Unova'' class gun cruiser ''[[MyNaymeIs Shandara]]'' mounts an eight inch railgun. |
57 | * ManChild - Jirachi, Mew and Celebi are quite immature for Legendaries. |
58 | * {{Mons}} - duh. |
59 | * MyNaymeIs - The names of the various navy ships are warped spellings of Pokémon names |
60 | ** Aircraft carrier - ''UNV Sazandra'' (Sazandora / Hydreigon) |
61 | ** Gun cruiser - ''UNV Shandara'' (Shandera / Chandelure) |
62 | ** Destroyer - ''HNS Gardvior'' (Gardevoir) |
63 | ** Battleship - ''HNS Craydaunt'' (Crawdaunt) |
64 | ** Missile cruiser - ''SCNV Saedra'' (Seadra) |
65 | ** Attack submarine - ''SCNV Draconite'' (Dragonite) |
66 | * {{Nanomachines}} - The self-repair mechanism on the ''[[CoolAirship Hikokyu II]]'' uses this. |
67 | * NoIndoorVoice - DIALGA, REGIGIGAS AND PALKIA. THEY ALWAYS TALK IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS. Except that Palkia can [[InnocentInnuendo shrink himself down to a smaller form]] that has a softer voice. |
68 | * OlympusMons - the eponymous Legendaries |
69 | * PointDefenseless - Averted. The 20 mm gatling autocannons on the ''Hikokyu II'' are capable of fending off most threats. |
70 | * PottyFailure - Latios has this happen to him due to Darkrai making him have a nightmare of Latias chaining him to his bed and spanking him with a spatula while the other Legendaries watch. |
71 | ** This happens to him again after Latias puts a Diaper on him. |
72 | ** Lugia also has this happen to him when he is held at gun point by a Team Rocket grunt. |
73 | * PoweredArmor: |
74 | ** The Garchomp costume that Cynthia so badly wants allows the wearer to basically function as a Pokémon inside the costume. It is known as the "2021" brand from "Zekurom Industries", a ShoutOut to the title and author of another fic, ''Generation 2021'', in which costumes of the exact same variety exist. |
75 | ** Celebi wears protective armor when fighting off poachers. |
76 | * PowerPerversionPotential - A cosplayer in a Gardevoir costume uses the costume's psychic powers to remove a waitress's dress in a hotel restaurant |
77 | * PrivateMilitaryContractors - Silph Co. is explicitly described as a Pokémon technology and private military company, |
78 | * PsychicPowers - Johnny Mac has psychic powers. |
79 | * RankScalesWithAsskicking - Cynthia is the Sinnoh League champion. She not only has powerful Pokémon but she can deliver a righteous ass-whooping with her bare hands. |
80 | * ReferenceOverdosed - Chapter 14 is just full of this - Jakayrta makes references left and right to users on Bulbagarden. |
81 | * SamusIsAGirl - [[spoiler:Zekrom]][[note]]this was before ''Anime/PokemonTheMovieBlackAndWhite''[[/note]] and Garchomp are both female. |
82 | * SpyCatsuit - The undersuits for the Pokémon costumes are form fitting tight black jumpsuits. |
83 | * StatuesqueStunner - Cynthia stands at six feet even and she seems to magnetically attract men. |
84 | * TheStoner - Shaymin and her gracidea. |
85 | * TechnologyPorn - A little bit, especially with regards to military tech. |
86 | ** Not to mention the VR's that play ''literal'' porn. This kind of VR is even used as a torture device for the legendaries that are captured on the ''Hikokyu II'' - and Entei [[IncrediblyLamePun gets the butt of it]]. |
87 | * WhamLine: "Welcome to Team Galactic, [[spoiler:Zero]]" |
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