Line #46 Creator/StanKelly


1	[[quoteright:1000:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/293101985_704029127665454_2112160821442594797_n_1.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:1000:[[ExpoLabel [=[=]HANDSOME, CLEVER, AND VIRILE AUTHOR[=]=]]]]]
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4	Stan Kelly is a political cartoonist for Website/TheOnion, America's Finest News Source, who have published his works since 1970. In it, he tackles hard-hitting topics such as current events, geopolitics, gun control, climate change, abortion, pop culture, generational differences, the relentless evolution of technology, and bitch ex-wives who take everything from their innocent, hard-working husbands.
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6	In reality, he's the brainchild of author and cartoonist Ward Sutton, created in 2006 as a parody of ultraconservative cartoonists like [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Garrison Ben Garrison]]. His cartoons are blatant {{Author Tract}}s featuring {{strawman}} caricatures of people he opposes, gratuitous {{Expo Label}}s on everything (lest anyone manage to somehow miss his {{Anvilicious}} message), over-the-top {{Eagleland}} imagery, and an AuthorAvatar in the corner making wisecracks about everything.
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8	All of Stan Kelly's cartoons can be found on ''The Onion'''s [[https://www.theonion.com/opinion/cartoons editorial cartoons archive]].
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10	----
11	!![=[=]TODAY'S NO-GOOD TROPES[[labelnote:*]]Latest fad.[[/labelnote]][=]=]
12	* TheAlcoholic: Stan's author-inserts depict him having been arrested for a DUI, berated for DrinkingOnDuty, and using whiskey sours to deal with everything he doesn't like.
13	* TheAllegedCar: Stan insists that the Chrysler PT Cruiser is a "virile chick magnet."
14	* AllPeriodsArePMS: Stan worries that if Hillary Clinton becomes President, the first time she gets her period in office, she'll [[https://www.theonion.com/a-period-of-decline-1819592626 start a nuclear war]].
15	* AndThatLittleGirlWasMe: Although it's never stated, it's heavily implied that all the comics involving the average honest, hard-working American dad are based on Stan's own personal experiences (or at least, how he remembers them).
16	* AngryWhiteMan: Stan believes that it's unfair for the government to keep giving minorities new rights and protections, but middle-class white men haven't gotten any new rights in decades.
17	** He cites [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]] as an example of rampant societal bigotry and mockery toward white men.
18	** Stan celebrates in 2020 when the Presidential candidates and top Oscar nominees are all white males, considering it long-awaited justice.
19	** He feels that the real modern-day victims of American slavery are kids indoctrinated with WhiteGuilt by liberal education agendas.
20	* AuthorAvatar: Stan has several who appear throughout the comics:
21	** Nearly every strip features a small doodle of himself in the lower right hand corner, usually making some clever pun about the comic's moral.
22	** He often uses people resembling his younger self as a representation of straight-laced teens from the good old days, unlike Today's No-Good Teens.
23	** Any time a bald, mustachioed man is shown in a positive context (especially if he's [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-december-8-2008-1819589221 drawn as implausibly buff]]), it's almost certainly meant to be another stand-in.
24	* AuthorTract: Every single comic is designed to be a blatant expression of Stan's personal thoughts on the matter.
25	* AwfulWeddedLife:
26	** Any comics featuring a married couple typically depict the wife as a nagging shrew, constantly berating her completely innocent HenpeckedHusband for [[SarcasmMode minor, overblown peccadillos]] like being a LazyBum, his [[AlcoholicParent alcoholism]], [[TheGamblingAddict gambling addiction]], [[ParentalNeglect neglecting the kids]], etc.
27	** [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-may-12-2008-1819588978 One comic]] makes it as unsubtle as can be, showing TheGrimReaper with "LOVE" on its cloak lurking right next to the bride and groom.
28	* BankruptcyBarrel: [[https://www.theonion.com/pay-palm-bomb-1849089414 One comic]] shows a man having to wear one and walk everywhere along the road because of exorbitantly high gas prices.
29	* BlamingTheVictim:
30	** How dare those greedy African children, homeless people, and victims of natural disasters get free stuff from the government and [=NGOs=] instead of honest, hardworking middle-class Americans!
31	** He also believes that the women who accused Creator/BillCosby of sexually assaulting them are all selfish, and the ''real'' victims are ''Series/TheCosbyShow'' fans who can't watch it anymore.
32	* TheChainOfHarm: It's implied that Stan's father walked out on him and he resents his mother, and that he himself walked out on his wife and his kids resent him.
33	* ChildHater: Stan doesn't hate children per se, but he definitely hates spending time with his grandchildren or going on family vacations when he wants to stay home, drink whiskey sours, and watch ''Star Trek'' instead.
34	* TheConspiracy: Stan frequently believes that things that annoy or inconvenience him personally are the result of a malevolent conspiracy, often to further a [[PoliticalCorrectnessIsEvil sinister politically correct agenda]].
35	* DirtyOldMan: Stan has no problem drawing women in an overly sexualized way, praises the people behind the 2014 celebrity nude pic leaks, has a massive collection of ''Penthouse'' magazines, and his author-insert characters are occasionally seen hiring prostitutes or visiting strip clubs.
36	* DiscoDan: Stan continues to exist that clothes like the sweater vest and the Members Only jacket never fell out of style.
37	* DistractedByTheSexy: The rise of leggings as acceptable clothing in public for women is an unbearable temptation for Stan, and worries that it may [[https://www.theonion.com/just-plane-wrong-1819592771 increase disasters like plane crashes]].
38	* DivinePunishment:
39	** According to Stan, the wildfires in California are sent by God as a punishment for [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking homosexuality, liberalism, and]] Music/BarbraStreisand. Similarly, the eruption of Kilauea is divine punishment against Hawaii for [[PineappleRuinsPizza putting pineapple on pizza]].
40	** Tiger Woods' failures in 2010 were [[https://www.theonion.com/april-19-2010-1819589813 punishment from the Founding Fathers in Heaven]] for his extramarital affair.
41	** Melania Trump [[https://www.theonion.com/zero-patients-1845356894 deserved to get COVID]] because she insulted Christmas.
42	* EvenEvilHasStandards: Stan draws [[Film/WallStreet Gordon Gekko]] saying "Greed is good... but even I have my limits!" in reaction to a public school teacher's union strike.
43	* EvilVegetarian: Vegetarians don't avoid meat because they think it's cruel, they just do it to spite honest, hard-working cattle ranchers. Stan also imagines healthy eating initiatives are all foisted upon an unwilling America by the "powerful vegan lobby" and "tofu tycoons."
44	* ExpoLabel: Literally every person in a comic has a label to clarify who they are or what they're meant to represent. He also labels his thoughts on celebrities (frequently labeling them "No-talent hack"), and labels every new technological innovation with "Latest fad."
45	* FanDisservice: After Congressman Madison Cawthorn alluded to attending a Republican Congressional orgy, Stan [[https://www.theonion.com/rock-out-with-your-caucus-out-1848793202 drew just that]]. He censored a lot of it, but not enough.
46	* FastFoodNation: Stan loves his corporate food brands, only wanting to shop at big-box retail stores that carry food brands he knows (Trader Joe's seems too socialist for his tastes). He also despises health food trends, and celebrates the end of the Obama administration because it means no more healthy eating initiatives.
47	* FireAndBrimstoneHell: Where celebrities and politicians whom Stan doesn't like end up, including Music/JamesBrown, Creator/RoyScheider, Luciano Pavarotti, Creator/GeorgeCarlin, [[Series/MeetThePress Tim Russert]], Creator/TonyCurtis, Music/ElvisPresley, UsefulNotes/SteveJobs, Creator/McLeanStevenson, Creator/DickClark, [[Series/OneDayAtATime1975 Bonnie Franklin]], Music/ArethaFranklin, Creator/StanLee, Creator/PeterMayhew, Creator/JimmyStewart, Creator/SeanConnery, Creator/GavinMacLeod, Creator/AlexTrebek, and Creator/BobBarker.
48	** Even though there's not dead yet, Stan says there are spots in Hell reserved for UsefulNotes/JimmyCarter (even though he depicts other Democrats like UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy in Heaven) and Creator/DrewCarey.
49	* FluffyCloudHeaven: Where celebrities and politicians whom Stan likes end up, including Jerry Falwell, Creator/JamesDoohan, Creator/DomDeLuise, Creator/JohnnyCarson, Creator/HarryMorgan, Music/MichaelJackson, Music/WhitneyHouston, [[UsefulNotes/TheGulfWar General Norman Schwarzkopf]], UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher, Creator/TomClancy, Creator/JamesGandolfini, Creator/LarryHagman, Creator/CharltonHeston, Creator/LeonardNimoy, Music/DavidBowie (undeservedly, though), the cast of ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', Music/ChuckBerry, Creator/BurtReynolds, Creator/ChristopherReeve, Creator/MargotKidder, Music/KennyRogers, [[Magazine/{{Playboy}} Hugh Hefner]], Creator/RogerMoore, Creator/RushLimbaugh, UsefulNotes/WalterMondale, Music/MeatLoaf, Creator/RayLiotta, Creator/JamesCaan, Creator/TonySirico, and Creator/OJSimpson.
50	** The Founding Fathers are sometimes shown looking down from Heaven and weeping at the state of the nation.
51	* TheFoodPoisoningIncident: One of many reasons Stan hates Mexican food is the one time he tried some in Santa Fe, it gave him diarrhea.
52	* GloryDays: Stan still rides high on receiving the [[https://www.theonion.com/rank-and-defile-1848554303 Thorsberg Bronze Quill Award]] of 1981.
53	* GlobalWarming: Stan generally doesn't believe in global warming... and if he did, he would think it's good because the heat waves would kill the hippies and floods would hit the coastal elites.
54	* GodwinsLaw:
55	** People who get on Stan's nerves, whether it's anti-littering enforcers, inattentive waitresses, or TV station managers who move the time for ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' reruns, run the risk of being depicted as Nazis.
56	** Liberal political policies (typically involving tax hikes) are usually analogized to MiddleEasternTerrorists or DirtyCommunists.
57	* TheGrimReaper: A frequent appearance in Stan's comics, usually with the name of a liberal policy or trend he doesn't like written on its cloak, signifying how he thinks that it'll be the (metaphorical or literal) death of the country.
58	* GunNut: Repealing all gun control would prevent a lot of tragedies, according to Stan. School shootings? Arm the students. Boston Marathon bombing? Arm the runners. The crucifixion? [[KungFuJesus Arm Jesus.]]
59	* HairTodayGoneTomorrow: "Kelly Klassic" comics ostensibly written in the 70s show that he used to have [[SeventiesHair a full afro]] back then.
60	* HaveAGayOldTime: Lampshaded in [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-june-27-2008-1819589032 one comic]] from 1981, where Stan hasn't yet learned that "gay" means "homosexual," and thinks a parade with [[AttractiveBentGender "some fine looking ladies"]] is just a celebration of being happy.
61	* HeteronormativeCrusader: Stan staunchly opposes letting gay soldiers join the military because they might fall in love with gay terrorists and defect. He also believes that letting kids dress up on Halloween will make them grow up to be drag queens.
62	* {{Househusband}}: Stan's opinions on them are mixed. On one hand, wives working mean that they can't stay home and be lazy freeloaders. On the other, he thinks that stay-at-home husbands are weak and emasculated.
63	* HypocriticalHumor: Stan's positions definitely reveal plenty of hypocrisy:
64	** He hates illegal immigrants, but has no problem with people hiring them for menial labor.
65	** His stance on technology only focuses on whatever is newest and most recent--he hates Today's No Good Teens for causing [=DVDs=] to displace [=VHS=], then hates teens for making streaming displace [=DVDs=]. Additionally, his hatred for technology-addicted kids doesn't apply to giving the grandkids video games to make them shut up.
66	** He complains about how sexualized modern culture is, but is an unrepentant DirtyOldMan who hires prostitutes and has been collecting porn for decades.
67	** He draws his handsome AuthorAvatar mocking [[https://www.theonion.com/jeer-leader-1848936599 an old and ugly classmate who once dumped him]], while he himself is a lonely, divorced alcoholic.
68	** He turns his nose up at cartoonists using modern digital illustration tools, but is [[https://www.theonion.com/art-official-intelligence-or-lack-thereof-1850000192 fine with A.I. drawings]] because they'd let him work without any effort.
69	* IfItBleedsItLeads: Stan depicts the average honest, hard-working American family as being massive fans of stories about mass murder, violence, and natural disasters in the media. He even depicts them getting disappointed whenever a major disaster is milder than predicted and there's no carnage to film.
70	* TheIllegal: One of Stan's perennial fears is Latino illegal immigrants overrunning the country, ruining the economy, and replacing pancakes with breakfast burritos at IHOP.
71	* InsaneTrollLogic:
72	** Whenever Stan does agree with a liberal viewpoint, it's usually for ''very'' different reasons than liberals, such as wanting women in the military in hopes that his ex-wife gets drafted, or supporting abortion so men won't be [[TheBabyTrap trapped in families with conniving women]].
73	** Stan's solution to childhood obesity? Get them hooked on tobacco instead!
74	** The best way to fight racism is by consuming more interracial porn.
75	** Warm weather on Christmas isn't because of global warming, it's because of [[https://www.theonion.com/flakes-on-a-plain-1830984022 George Soros bribing the snow into melting]].
76	* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Scientists are typically depicted as midwits who know absolutely nothing and are easily rebuffed by the AuthorAvatar's common sense.
77	* MyCountryTisOfTheeThatISting: The only times Stan willfully insults America is when he can point the finger at liberals for ruining it.
78	* NeverMyFault: Every comic featuring an AuthorAvatar of Stan shows him in the right, and that everything bad that happens to him (getting fired, a DUI ticket, his kids not calling him) is totally undeserved.
79	* NewAgeRetroHippie: A common straw opponent in Stan's comics, he's depicted as a [[VisibleOdor smelly]], America-hating, [[BurningTheFlag flag-burning]] idiot who's constantly humiliating himself and getting trounced (emotionally or physically) by God-fearing patriots.
80	* NewMediaAreEvil: Stan is a firm believer in the sanctity of physical media and despises online streaming of movies and music.
81	* NostalgiaAintLikeItUsedToBe: As far as Stan as convinced, everything about his generation back when they were teenagers was objectively better than modern teens today.
82	* ObnoxiousInLaws: Stan depicts [[https://www.theonion.com/relative-suffering-1819592923 his son's mother-in-law]] as an evil hag with a Hitler mustache.
83	-->"COME IN! EAT '''MY''' FOOD! ABIDE BY '''MY''' HOUSE RULES! ENGAGE ME IN '''CONVERSATION!'''"
84	* PatrioticFervor: Stan's comic is dripping with patriotic imagery. In his world, America is a perfect country blessed by God, and everyone who disagrees with him is a DirtyCommunist who makes the Statue of Liberty and the Founding Fathers weep.
85	-->'''Jesus:''' I may have been born in Bethlehem... but I know America is the Promised Land!
86	* PlayingBothSides: For the 2008 election, Stan made cartoons celebrating both the Republicans and Democrats winning.
87	* PoliceBrutality: Stan thinks that there's no such thing as excess force when it comes to the police, mourns the cancellation of ''[[Series/Cops1989 COPS]]'', and thinks that police body cameras are good only if people can watch the footage of shootouts for entertainment. He also thinks that police brutality protestors are just making up excuses to frame innocent cops.
88	* PoliticalCorrectnessIsEvil: A perennial view of Stan's, who believes that political correctness is part of the sinister liberal scheme to undermine patriotic American values. One comic of his [[https://www.theonion.com/nativity-seen-1851093079 depicts the Romans crucifying Jesus]] as "PC language police" who hate him for encouraging people to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays."
89	* RapIsCrap: Today's No-Good Teen is often wearing a shirt or bearing a tattoo that says "RAP BAND."
90	* RunningGag: Many common motifs appear in Stan's comics:
91	** The Statue of Liberty crying--if not tears of anguish at what liberals have done to America, then tears of joy at how conservatives are saving it.
92	** Similarly, a trio of dead famous people looking down from FluffyCloudHeaven and weeping either in pride or shame. Expect at least one of them to be someone who probably shouldn't be in Heaven, a celebrity that ''hasn't'' died yet, or a fictional character that Kelly assumes is real.
93	** Some villain or pervert (with an ExpoLabel reading "Sicko") looking on and cackling "Yes... ha ha ha... YES!"
94	** Stan's {{Author Avatar}}s having a fondness for whiskey sours.
95	** Any time the innocent husband and the dirty hippie are talking together in a bar, the punchline in the next panel is the innocent husband saying "MY WIFE!" while his wife bursts in and harangues him.
96	* RushmoreRefacement:
97	** Stan fears [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-august-20-2007-1819588674 what Mexicans will do to it]] if they ever become the majority ethnicity in America.
98	** He represents his disdain for FacialScruff by depicting [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-january-28-2008-1819588855 Mount Rushmore with five o'clock shadows]] and captioning it "America the GRUBBY!"
99	** He believes that if {{Feminazi}}s take over America, they'll [[https://www.theonion.com/queasy-on-the-eyes-1849035193 resculpt the Statue of Liberty]] to be fat, hairy, and ugly and rename it the "Statue of Liberated."
100	* TheScrooge: It's implied that Stan is one, seeing how often panhandlers, fundraisers, store workers who reject coupons, and anyone who asks his AuthorAvatar for money under any circumstance is portrayed as an evil hag.
101	* SeriousBusiness: Stan feels ''very'' strongly about some of his pop culture opinions, such as his love for ''Series/TheSopranos'', as well as his belief that Creator/DCComics and ''Franchise/StarTrek'' are far superior to Creator/MarvelComics and ''Franchise/StarWars''. He even says Creator/JJAbrams will burn in Hell for "betraying" the ''Star Trek'' fandom and making ''Film/TheForceAwakens''.
102	* SmallNameBigEgo: Stan believes he's [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-september-15-2008-1819589121 the real hero]] of the 2008 electoral cycle, deserves to be [[https://www.theonion.com/december-13-2010-1819590088 TIME's Man of the Year]], and can totally seduce [[https://www.theonion.com/the-princess-and-the-plea-1819592659 Chelsea Clinton]] and [[https://www.theonion.com/state-of-their-union-1819592814 Melania Trump]].
103	* SmokingIsCool: Today's No-Good Teens vape instead of smoke real cigarettes, which risks them looking not as cool as European teenagers.
104	* SoccerHatingAmericans: Stan believes that trying to promote soccer in America is European imperialism and fundamentally un-American.
105	* SpeciesSpecificAfterlife: According to Stan, God has a [[https://www.theonion.com/editorial-cartoon-april-21-2008-1819588953 special heavenly zoo]] for endangered animals, and those damn anti-hunting bills are keeping them from joining Him in eternal happiness.
106	* SpoiledBrat: Your kids will grow up to be socialist welfare queens if you put them on your health insurance plans, let them relax on summer break, trick-or-treat on Halloween, or give them Christmas gifts, according to Stan.
107	* StalkerWithACrush: It's implied that ever since he got divorced, Stan has been romantically stalking women far younger than him.
108	* StraightEdgeEvil: He hates how modern teen rebels ride e-scooters, vape, and skip school for political protests, instead of teens in his day, who'd ride motorcycles, drink and smoke underage, and skip school to get laid.
109	* StrawFeminist: Women's lib and #[=MeToo=] advocates are always depicted by Stan as shrill harpies who hate all men.
110	* StylisticSuck: Being a parody of political cartoons, the comics feature a simplistic artstyle, {{Expo Label}}s everywhere and heavy-handed messages and symbolism that basically amount to Stan being angry at everything he doesn't like.
111	* TakeThat: Stan revels in opportunities to insult other cartoonists whom he sees as competition, such as [[https://www.theonion.com/a-charlie-brown-thanks-for-nothing-1819592417 Charles Schulz,]], [[https://www.theonion.com/the-rat-in-the-high-hat-1819592291 Dr. Seuss]], [[https://www.theonion.com/october-25-2010-1819590027 Bil Keane]], [[https://www.theonion.com/scary-larson-1844714312 Gary Larson]], and [[https://www.theonion.com/time-of-the-seasoned-1819591790 digital cartoonists in general]].
112	* TakeThatCritics: [[https://www.theonion.com/yawn-of-the-dead-1819591035 One comic]] depicts anyone who writes in to complain about his comics as a mix of brain-dead Feminazis, elitists, hippies, and terrorists.
113	* TechnologicallyBlindElders: Stan hates teenagers' love of the "latest gizmos" while championing whatever media format is already on its way to obsolescence (VHS, DVD, and cassette tapes, to name a few), proudly reveals that [[https://www.theonion.com/game-of-phones-1848616400 he falls for refund phishing scams]] in the belief that he's getting free money, and daydreams that replacing his own work with an image generator would mean [[https://www.theonion.com/art-official-intelligence-or-lack-thereof-1850000192 never having to work for a paycheck again]] instead of the end of his career.
114	* TeenHater: Stan certainly thinks that TeensAreMonsters. Today's No-Good Teens are inexorably depicted as zit-faced, trouble-making, music-blasting, [[PhoneaholicTeenager tech-addicted]] {{delinquents}} who all deserve to end up in juvenile detention. They may or may not also be in league with ISIS.
115	* ThinkOfTheChildren: Many of his comics depict "Innocent Kids" as being brainwashed by liberal media and institutions into being anything from sinful degenerates to future school shooters.
116	* ValuesDissonance: Stan claims that in TheEighties, dressing up in {{blackface}} was a [[https://www.theonion.com/ebony-and-irony-1832895620 totally innocent and fun activity]] for people to do.
117	* UnexpectedlyDarkEpisode: [[https://www.theonion.com/september-12-2011-1819590425 The comic for September 12th, 2011]] is a variant that's more unexpectedly ''serious'' than anything. While many of Stan's comics touch on heavy issues, they're invariably handled intentionally poorly and not meant to be taken seriously -- being full of over-the-top strawmen, unnecessary labels, and so on. However, this particular comic forgoes most of the usual jokes in favor of a straightforward question about [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror the 9/11 attacks]], with even Stan's AuthorAvatar (the only RunningGag left) seeming uncharacteristically earnest:
118	-->''10 years later, America wonders...''\
119	'''Uncle Sam:''' I-is it okay to ''laugh again''?\
120	'''Stan:''' Or is it too soon to ask?
121	* TheWarOnStraw: Every single comic featuring someone Stan disagrees with depicts them as moronic, a jerk, or downright evil.
122	* YellowPeril: Any time Stan blames something on China, he usually draws a slant-eyed [[AllAsiansWearConicalStrawHats conical hat-wearing]] Chinese man [[HandRubbing rubbing his hands menacingly]].

Context Creator / StanKelly