History WarpThatAesop / JoJosBizarreAdventure

* You are absolutely justified in killing your alchoholic father after he spent over 10 years [[AbusiveParents verbally and physically abusing you]] [[DomesticAbuse and your mother,]] and worked the latter to death to buy more booze for himself. [[TooDumbToLive But hey, better keep the last letter he wrote to your stepfather lying around, just in case.]]

* If a [[FanNickname God of Fitness]] can cry over his destroyed arm, [[ItsOkayToCry you can cry over any struggles in your life]].

* BeautyIsNeverTarnished - you can get beaten to a pulp, set on fire for up to a solid 4 minutes, etc., and never recieve one bruise, scar or burn, but ''ONLY'' if you're a good guy. If you're one of the bad guys, you will look like every ''Film/TheToxicAvenger'' prop combined by the time the heroes are through with you.

* The good guys are supposed to stop the bad guys, ''not'' help endangered civilians. Those women desperately clinging onto pipes for their lives can just wait for someone else to show up.

* A predictions of a single person's death always has multiple occurrences in the future, often [[Manga/DiamondIsUnbreakable decades]] [[Manga/StoneOcean ahead]] of when they were fortold.

[[AC: ''Manga/PhantomBlood'']]
* Don't ever agree to adopt the son of a dying man who helped you and your son out years ago. He'll end up killing your entire family and [[spoiler: his most dedicated servant will [[Manga/StoneOcean kill your descendants and reset the universe in his name]].]]

[[AC: ''Manga/BattleTendency'']]

[[AC: ''Manga/StardustCrusaders'']]

[[AC: ''Manga/DiamondIsUnbreakable'']]

[[AC: ''Manga/GoldenWind'']]

[[AC: ''Manga/StoneOcean'']]

[[AC: ''Manga/SteelBallRun'']]

* Need to wake your daughter up from a bad dream? ''Punch her in the fucking face''.

* There's nothing wrong with letting an 11-year-old recluse pilot a helicopter.

* You can get holes opened up in your throat, get shot in the head, have all the iron forcefully extracted from your body, set yourself on fire, get one (or more) of your limbs chopped off and lose literal gallons of blood and you'll end up just fine - the human body is '''immensely''' durable! Watch out for snakes, though.

* You can get holes opened up in your throat, get shot in the head, have all the iron forcefully extracted from your body, set yourself on fire, get one (or more) of your limbs chopped off and lose literal gallons of blood and you'll end up just fine, but a single snakebite to the tongue will kill you instantly.