Words to the effect of not impressed.
Grr, I'm a grizzled veteran, made cynical by the death of my daughter, who's forced to team up with a precocious child who will, over the course of our long journey, find her way into my heart, desu.
Oh yeah, and there's zombies. But they're not REALLY zombies, you guys. They're just ordinary people who have been controlled by mutant fungus because we're so edgy and original and zombies are boring and dumb.
Kid died. Sam I think his name was. I watched Galaxy Quest last night and I was more moved by the death of Alexander's fanboy, whose name I didn't even know, than I was over the death of this kid. Then big bro took the easy way out like a bitch.
Ellie is obnoxious. Whatshisface is forgettable. There's a smattering of other characters, all equally unimportant and forgettable.
Also, I don't know why people keep saying David tried to rape Ellie. It looked more like he was trying to kill her to me.
The gameplay was ok. Nothing particularly interesting about it, but noting particularly bad about it either.
Coulda used a minimap or waypoint markers because half the time I had no idea where the frig I was going, but I guess some things have to be sacrificed in the name of TOTALLY REELISTIK U GAIZ.
The backgrounds were literally the best part of the game. That lake during the winter segment, with the mountains in the distance, was fucking bootieful and looking up at that leaning skyscraper during the beginning segment was cool.
My friend told me this game was a life-changing experience. The only thing about my life it's changed is that I'm now $60 poorer. It's a Cliché Storm
par excellence. How this game could have made platinum, GOTY or any award other than "That one award we give out for the kick ass winter lake with the mountains in the distance" is beyond me.
Overall 3/10. And that only because of the aforementioned backgrounds. I wonder if I can get a refund.