Romance

Spent a few years there in the Army (was stationed at Hood) and I gotta say 6th Street in Austin was the only worthwhile part of that state.

What school do you go to?

I've got back with an ex of mine. We're meant to see each other tomorrow, I'm nervous and I can tell she is. We haven't spoken for months and we just started talking again last week and we just sort of clicked back together. There have been some other developments and I have a strange feeling, kind of giving me cognitive dissonance.

Here's hoping it goes well!

My ex and I kept going off and on for a bit, and it was..

Well, I was too immature to realize I didn't really like her as a person, and she was too busy showing off how smarter and better looking she was to care.

Now I'm in the middle of a juggling act. Work, looking for a new girlfriend long distance or not, trying to avoid my ex, puppy, driving, preparing for college, and the like.

I think my crush just asked me out today.

That's good, hope that works out for you.

You think?

BLUH.

My ex doesn't seem to want me to get over her at all, seeing as the only conversations she's had with me are "remember the good old days" and that sort of crap?

Yes, I do remember you slugging me on the shoulder every time I did or said something to your disliking. And yes, I do remember how obsessively clingy and insufferable you were.

Still, how doth one get her to stop talking or at least get over her to the point where it doesn't matter?

I mean, we're close neighbors, so I can't just ignore her until I move out, few years probably.

Ok since I'm planning to get into another relationship, since I lost contact with my on-and-off girlfriend because the app we spoke on became defunct. I'm thinking about either dating a girl, dating a guy, or (though this is probably unlikely) getting into a threesome with both. Does anyone have any advice for a bisexual guy who's also possibly polyamorous?

I happen to be a bi polyamorish guy and you've already done better than me.

Seeing as I'm going to Nashville to college, this is as good a time as any to ask: Does anyone live in or near Nashville and knows where to meet college students?

X4 You don't have to ignore your ex but you can get boundaries then enforce them. Say you don't want to talk about such things and when your ex starts talking about them walk away/end the conversation. It's rude of your ex to insist on forcing such a conversation on you and that means it's perfectly acceptable for you to be rude back and just walk away mid conversation.

Hell you can always jsut stop speaking to your ex, in the end it doesn't matter if they live close to you, anyone can be ignored if you want to, unelss you're dependant on them for something you don't have to engage with them in any way.

That's jsut general advise, honestly if you're ex was physically violent towards you (which your post does suggest) then I'd suggest cutting all contact and telling them to go fuck themselves. Nobody is entitled to your friendship, abusers least of all.

edited 12th Jul '17 6:54:42 PM by Silasw

When she asks you say "The good old days? Nope, don't remember those."

I remember the "good ol' days." Back when I had to go to places with my parents, back when I had no money, back when I couldn't listen to music that had swearing. I'd rather be an adult than a kid because being a kid was horrible.

~@Troper_Walrus: I live in Nashville for college and I don't even know a real good answer. :P

I made a lot of my friends at college and through their local friends. You're probably not old enough for bars, which is a big thing downtown. You can go around the Vanderbilt campus on weekends (it's massive) and go to the shops and restaurants and strike up conversation there. It's a pretty young-people town I think so it shouldn't be too hard.

Me (to my crush): So, how was your weekend?

My crush: (Paraphrasing) I just moved in to my own place (note: she lived with her parents before), and I love living out on my own! I don't have a boyfriend now...

Me (in my head):

My crush:...because I'm enjoying my independence too much for a guy to tie me down right now.

Me (in my head):

So, does this kill my chances?

That depends entirely on why they think a relationship ties them down, they might be interested in a relationship that they don't feel is limiting or controlling. If you're also up for such a relationship you could be fine.

If they are using independance to mean the chance to have lots of casual sexual encounters than yes your chances of a romantic relationship probably aren't very good, your odds for a casual hookup however may well have gone up dramatically.

I'm not into casual hook-ups at all, and based on what I know about her, I doubt she is either.

I kind of want to ask out this one girl from my high school before I go to college, because she's extremely attractive and I finally got up the confidence to ask her out. Unfortunately, she's as dumb as a post, and I feel like I'm just being superficial and trying to prove something by asking her out. Which probably says more about me than anything else.

She thought humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time. She graduated high school.

Since I've banished Drunk Me temporarily (2 weeks totally sober so far) I've realized he's the only part of me that really cares about romance lately. Sober me is amiable but by and large preferring solitude and reclusiveness. Hell I had a dream last night where I became incredibly annoyed by some girl flirting with me.

I've been trying hooking up and I haven't gotten any luck. I don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship juuuuuuuuust yet, but I don't feel like I'm worthy of one. I like the idea of a hookup/fwb relationship, but I don't think I could do one well either. I tried out several apps, but they don't seem to work well for me (though, to be fair, some of them were scammy). I almost got catfished twice, so I guess I should be more careful next time. But I'm so... quiet and awkward in real life that some people would likely find me creepy. I'd never know if someone would feel about me from first glance, and I can't really bear the thought of rejection too well because I'd feel like a creep (not helping is my low self-esteem). OTOH, I can't really be sure if a person my age is gay or not, and most of the LGBT community here are middle-aged. Not to mention I'm just afraid of taking risks. I'm probably gonna end up being with someone forever, and that's kind of a scary thought to me for some reason. I also feel like I'm a dull person to be around, anyway. I'm not sure what to do or what I want.

edited 21st Jul '17 5:20:44 PM by I-Teleported-Bread

Back in September I met a lovely girl at a group activity for autistic people (we're both on the spectrum) & became fast friends. I'd like to start a relationship with her eventually, but I don't want to rush our friendship. However, she's going to college this fall (I'm taking a year off to decide what I want to do from here on out). While I'll still be able to see her, I'm a bit paranoid that she'll meet someone there & I'll miss my chance if I don't tell her how I feel. What should I do?

Some guy just asked me for my number. This may go somewhere.

Ooooooo! Good luck, Cali!

So I guess it's unfortunate that I ended up back here again. I got dumped last month by my girlfriend sometime before my birthday. She was horribly depressed and was horribly worried she couldn't support nor satisfy me none so she decided to break it off and just be friends with me. It hurt really bad because out of all the women before her she treated me the best. And after what happened after that she still was the one that treated me the best.

I got rejected five times after that in about a month. Five times I hoped to date someone because I thought I had a chance due to what they told me and my heart was snapped in half every time. The stress from all of it got so bad that I got sick twice and cried more than I have in years. The last two were particularly bad. Both women in that scenario said that they were completely fine with me having feelings for them because they were both in an open relationship and from what I could tell they both liked me. But...last week I was suddenly shut out the relationship. It seems like they suddenly upgraded the relationship from an open relationship to just a purely romantic relationship between them.

It hurt a lot. I was given next to no warning before I was shut-out. I wasn't consulted or told that chances are they both were going to end up with each other. They argue that they didn't know me as long as they knew each other but that argument is bullshit considering how by that point they knew enough about me to know I was nowhere near a person they couldn't trust. I did special things for them just to help them with other problems or just to make them happy and in the end it felt like it did not even matter.

I don't know what to do anymore really. My romantic life was always a constant struggle and I don't want to risk ever getting hurt like I have before ever again but at the same time I know I have a crushing amount of loneliness and just general tiredness that it seems like no matter what I do I can't get someone to stay for me. I am kind by second nature, I make jokes, and I try to support people I am interested in or with and it just doesn't seem to matter in the end. They always leave or go for a more safer option...

So I guess I am a single straight bachelor once again. Like always....