Romance

Honestly dude, if I were in your situation I'd be more liable to take my chances with girl 2, and that's mostly because you've probably been stuck on girl 1 for way too long. If you haven't done anything yet/nothing's come of it after all this time you may want to just throw in the towel, especially with the whole distance thing impeding you from doing much. It's not healthy to care a torch for so long, life's too short.

I would advise you against getting too attached to girl 2 as much as you can anyways, and to make a move sooner rather than later. Ask her out for coffee or whatever, and plan out what you're gonna do in the event she says yes, no, not sure, etc.

edited 22nd Oct '16 1:56:02 PM by Draghinazzo

Yeah, I agree with . I'm currently pining for a person for several years already, and until now I still can't move on. I dunno if it's simply obsession or just plain weird but trust me, it's better if you try new things mate. Girl#1 may move on, Girl#2 may also move on. You gotta choose before either of 'em will get away and make the choice for you.

edited 24th Oct '16 7:16:04 AM by Jamiester

I'm starting to have feelings for my best friend, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't see it working out, so I'd prefer a solution that isn't trying to get into a relationship. Right now I'm thinking of not inviting her to hang out for the next few weeks, until my feelings go away, but if she invites me to do something, I'll go. Is that a good solution, or what would be better?

This post was thumped by the Shillelagh of Whackingness

so this girl i was originally dating (the one who had to help her friend get spouse benefits for his tumors) may or may not've broken up with me, if the facts that she hasn't talked to me for about a month and unfriended me on skype are anything to go by. however, i may or may not have found another person, though this particular person lives all the way in croatia. we met through an anonymous confessions-type app (which conveniently has an IM system, since she doesnt feel comfortable with sharing info, not that i blame her) and we both like Anime Hot Guy Simulator™ (i also briefly mentioned to her that im bi and thankfully she was ok with it). and speaking of bi stuff, uhh, spoiler because NSFW: i have made, like, two friends with benefits, both of which are guys.

That's hardly NSFW. I'm at work right now. I had a FWB once. It did not end well. My fault. Rule #1 of FWB: Don't forget the F, and don't try to make it more. :(

Yeah, honestly that's as tacit an admission as you're liable to get a lot of the time. A lot of people strongly dislike confrontation and would rather just ignore/give signs to the person that their dealings with them are over, rather than face an uncomfortable situation of telling them they don't want to see them anymore.

And honestly, I don't think I could do FWB. That's sort of what I had going on for my first romantic experience and it ended extremely poorly.

edited 27th Oct '16 6:23:31 PM by Draghinazzo

Man, tonight is one of those nights where I just kinda sit back and realize how much I've fallen for her. Like, I just can't imagine ever not being with her at this point. I've never felt like this about anyone before, and I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone as great as her.

I never really expected to fall in love, but I don't regret a second of it.

Being in love is a bit strange like that.

I'd say it's rather like feeling you aren't just one person anymore, as if the other person has more or less been incorporated into your sense of self.

...hopefully that didn't sound creepy or anything, I'm bad with words.

All the best to you and your partner smokey.

edited 27th Oct '16 8:39:45 PM by Draghinazzo

I have a question for you all. What are some tips you can give me about polyamory?

1. make sure everyone is okay with it and is aware of what's going on

2. seriously just listen to step 1

Thanks. :)

Wear the right rings for the type of polyamoury you are looking for. Screen potential SOs to make sure they are also into polyamoury.

There are poly-flagging rings?

Thanks, but it isn't for me. I don't think I could pull it off. ^_^;; It's for a story idea I've been pondering recently. I was wondering how I could portray it realistically and not fanfic-ish.

I don't know about polyromantic, but swinging is a very popular form of polysexual relationship. You can indicate this orientation with a black ring on your right hand on any finger but the middle finger.

... There are rings? :S

Well, it's a couple weeks late, but I sent her a PM confessing to her. I cannot believe I just did that. I hope she won't be angry at me.

edited 29th Oct '16 8:26:52 PM by Novis

I know how that feels. I'm never going to tell him, the last person I still have romantic feelings for on this site. I have no chance, and it would make things uncomfortable.

But social anxiety places my brain in an assume the worst configuration. I'm sure your situation will resolve better.

It did; she declined, but there were no hard feelings. It was foolish of me to assume that, I guess I got to used to statements I thought were innocuous turning out offensive.

Thanks for being around to talk to about this thing while it was going, by the way.

edited 30th Oct '16 3:10:05 AM by Novis

I had a really, really, really depressing dream last night.

Beau broke up with me because I'm really hard to deal with (which is true). And I immediately hooked up with somebody else pretty much for no reason other than to not be alone. And this went on for several weeks of montage-ish dream-time, and the whole time I was just waiting ro beau to call me because I would have gone back to him in a second, but he never did.

Just such a depressing dream.

But then I woke up and he was there, so.

Jeez, that does not sound fun.

That does sound extremely unpleasant.

In a way I suppose it's a blessing that I never remember my dreams.

Bad dreams that have mostly-realistic stuff are probably the worst, especially the ones that play on existing insecurities.

I usually have the opposite problem with dreams - they're better than my actual life in some way, and then I either wake up, or sometimes I even realize that it's a dream while it's still happening, at which point all I can do is hope that the dream will let me have some more VR training before it ends. :/

Amen. I love proper, larger-than-life nightmares where I'm, like, being eaten by a dragon or something.

Like, it's terrifying and horrible in the moment but then I wake up and I'm like "Holy shit that was awesome"

Then there's the dreams that are so much fun that it's just depressing when you wake up and realize it wasn't real.

And then the worst kind of dreams are the ones where it's like you said, realistic and relevant to your actual life. Because then you wake up and you're honestly not 100% sure it was a dream at first, and you feel like your life might actually be ruined. I have tons of those dreams lately. Like I had one dream where my credit card debt just got completely out of control. I had another where I was failing all my college classes and all of my financial aid and tuition assistance was being recouped. I had another where I crashed my car... and yet the dream wasn't about injuries or anything, it was about holy shit what am I going to do now that my car is irrevocably fucked.

It all just really gives me a sense of perspective. But not in a good sort of way. Like, a "Holy shit, my life is like a house of cards, and if any one of these hundreds of cards falls out of place, my entire life could just come crashing down around me" sort of way.

...I really do belong in the Anxiety thread.

edited 2nd Nov '16 2:59:16 PM by SolipSchism