Romance

Ogodei: See, my issue is that there are no pictures like that. So I'm not sure.

Started asking the Subway girl questions about herself. And she gave me the cutesy looks even more now

I've noticed that non-hetereosexual relationship attempts posted about in this thread tend to be more successful than those about heterosexual relationship attempts.

Smaller dating pools? Harder to find somebody, thus someone compatible will be more likely to be single?

edited 20th Sep '14 2:16:29 AM by tparadox

I have a friend with benefits situation going on with this girl, and I kinda think she wants to actually start dating, but I'm not sure. I am in no kind of place mentally, emotionally, or financially to start one though. But I do like her. It's awkward.

Heterosexual attempts include me. When it comes to relationships, I am anti-success incarnate.

At getting them or maintaining them? Those are two generally unrelated problems.

Getting them. As I've explained many times, it's rare for me to be attracted to someone, and those people usually turn out to be taken or not interested.

Stop pursuing them then. Relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be, and if you have out of reach standards as it is, it's unlikely that someone who seems to fulfill those standards will continue doing so after you get to know them. Picky people often put their desired mates on a pedestal, then end up sorely disappointed when the desired person fails to live up to the ideas built up in the desirer's head. Forget about trying to find love or a relationship, get up and do things that make you happy and push you forward, and you'll be surprised what happens.

That's actually pretty profound. My one disagreement is that the times when I wasn't actively looking for a relationship were just as unsuccessful.

My default leaving the house activities (going to university and the occasional shopping trip) aren't conducive to meeting people in general, and my actually enjoyable activities can all be done on my PC.

If you're "not actively looking" for a relationship, there's no such thing as being unsuccessful. Also, I hate to break it to you, but you'll have to get out of the house. Join some gaming or programming clubs. Meeting people, for relationships or otherwise, requires socialization.

I'm actually almost out of university, so clubs and the like aren't really viable. I'm not sure if they even exist in the world beyond education. >.>

You could get a job. Easy way to meet people right there. Plus, it's productive. You make money.

I was gonna get a job anyway, but it's not exactly a solution for this.

1. Workplace romance is generally a shitty idea.

2. I'm going to be a geologist working in the mining industry. Not exactly the right environment to meet women.

Clubs outside of school do exist.

We're throwing you bones here. If you're just going to rationalize an excuse as to why it won't work, then yeah, it won't.

I agree that office romances suck, but you meet people at work who share your interests (or at least aren't total dickbags), go to a party or other social event that they're going to. Dating Tammy from accounting could be a bad idea, yes, but Tammy could have a cousin or BFF that she brings to the company picnic, and bingo bongo.

I was in your position for a year and a half (no real reason to leave the house except for work), but you gotta know that's unsustainable unless you really just want to be alone (and it's fine if you do. Some people just don't want that business), but nothing will fall right out of the sky and on top of you. Last semester and over the summer i had a better excuse: i was working nights and weekends which is kind of a killer. Now i'm on a normal schedule, and i've already opened up my social milieu.

Edit: So do we think that the best way for me to find out more about this girl i like is to just ask her out for a very casual setting? (like coffee after class or something) to learn whether she's receptive and right for me? This is the advice i'm getting from elsewhere, very informal dates first, something more further on?

edited 20th Sep '14 7:44:26 AM by Ogodei

That sound like a good plan to me.

It's definitely better to keep things casual early on. If she's SUPER interested, she'll definitely show it and give you the opportunity to move out of the casual stuff quickly.

Also, it's sorta my own fault for going into a field that I'm intellectually good at, but that tends to attract Country Mouse types. Being a classy, urban type with a preference for classy urban types makes it somewhat impractical to get to know the people I work with.

edited 20th Sep '14 7:50:39 AM by VolatileChills

That's also my problem. I'm a nerd, but my field (international development) does not really attract nerds (gamer/sci-fi/otaku types). Not like they're bad people at all, most of my colleagues are great people, just very little hobby overlap.

I've been thinking about something.

You know how, when a couple kisses, the man puts his arms around her waist and she puts her arms around his neck or shoulders or something?

What if a guy kisses her with his arms around her neck or shoulders? Would she consider him to be a weak/wimpy/effeminate guy or would she consider it to be a very sweet thing?

I'm talking about both gentle kisses and lustful kisses.

It's kinda like that with geology as well. Most of the students I've been in classes with were rural kids who were doing it to have an intellectual career while keeping the outdoorsy aspect or people with contacts in the mining industry. The few "traditional" nerd types were doing it as part of a double degree or something, and are among the people I still talk to sometimes.

You've been looking at too much fanart. XD

Although it could be a height thing. Like, they're pulling each other closer which includes a vertical component.

Also, while I haven't had any full embrace kisses, I preferred to do the arm around shoulders for a hug or photo pose when I was younger because I was too shy for the waist thing. >.<

edited 20th Sep '14 8:07:22 AM by VolatileChills

@Quag: It really depends on the girl, doesn't it?

My girlfriends would always just grab my face and pull me in

@Chills: Not so much fanart as something I would want to do. Blame my hopelessly romantic imagination or something.

I'm a bit tall, so, height wouldn't be a concern in my case.

@Nova: Indeed it depends on the girl, but there must be some general rule or something, right?

@Smythe:Nice.