We try to kill SCP-682

Result: Denied. We aren't keeping track of 200 baby necksnappers.

Test: Take a fork, and slowly dine on it's flesh.

Result: I CAN'T EAT THIS STUFF D:

Test: An encounter with Giygas.

Result: SCP-682 growled and grumbled at the swirling miasma, and then proceeded to pray to assorted as-of-yet unidentified names. Giygas was dissipated a few minutes later.

Test: Use an array of mashy spike plates all set to converge on 682 at once. This is the part where we kill him.

Result: After penetrating approximately 27 cm, SCP-682's epidermis rapidly developed into hard, armored plates, preventing any further penetration. Furter movement shattered the spikes and 682 breached containment, killing five D-class and one researcher in the process.

Test: Expose 682 to THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!

Result: Uh... No?

Test: Justin Bieber's horrible, horrible voice.

Result: Failure; 682 destroys the radio playing the music.

Test: Throw it into a black hole.

edited 10th Mar '14 9:43:22 AM by TheHailStormer

Result: You'd be sucked in too.

Test: BOMB

Result: After consuming the bomb, SCP-682 reportedly belched and said "What, that's it?"

Who the Hell came up with this idea? - Dr. [REDACTED]

Test: We stick Kyon in there with him, see if Haruhi alters the world to let him win.

Result: Kyon lost interest quickly, and Haruhi ended up altering the world so he was somewhere in Canada instead.

Test: Throw a snowball at him. With ICE in it!

Result: Nothing.

Test: Drown it in lamp oil.

Result: It doesn't need to breathe.

Test: Give it to the wanders library, have them deal with it if they like paranormal stuff so much.

edited 12th Mar '14 4:34:57 AM by 11cookeaw1

Result: Well... that didn't work.

Test: Put it with SCP-2559-J

edited 12th Mar '14 9:23:06 AM by Jondanger23

Result: Test cancelled. We tried that already.

Test: Throw everything in the creepypasta wiki at it, including every monster, horror, and eerie occurrence that leads to gruesome death.

Result: SCP-682 simply dismissed them as fictional. They could not be found.

Test: Kyu~'d by Flandre.

Result: 682 out-bullet'D Flandre. Riddly diddly.

Test: Use Seathe the Scaleless's crystal curse-breath on him.

Result: SCP-682 is uncursed by one of the SCPs' misaimed magic spells.

Test: Drop a flaming train on SCP-682.

edited 5th Apr '14 11:56:55 PM by lewattoo

RESULTS: Despite this idea being ridiculous, the O-5 council went through with it anyways. A neutronium-weighted, difluoride-laden locomotive was dropped on SCP-682 from [[REDACTED]] meters. 682, despite being immersed in a substance which is known to react violently with all substances, was only bothered by the neutron star material, claiming that it gave the SCP, "A [[DATA EXPUNGED]] OF A [[REDACTED]] MIGRAINE, [[EXPLETIVE]]."

TEST: Just eat him!

edited 6th Apr '14 9:11:24 AM by OmegaShadowcry

Results: [DATA EXPUNGED] ripped out [DATA EXPUNGED] rapidly mutated into [DATA EXPUNGED] several staff were killed in the breach.

Test: Send Yukari to break the boundary between Existence and Nonexistence, erasing it from reality.

edited 6th Apr '14 9:32:25 AM by Dreigonix

Result: Test cancelled. Upon mention of 682's name, Yukari immediately opened a dimensional gap and fled, and has not been seen since.

Test: Send an army of Dragonborn to kill it

Result: failure, SCP 682 gained dragon-esque powers (again) and began a small rampage before being contained.

Test: SCP 682 is to be entered into the paradox space of the Homestuck universe of the species designated as trolls right before the final moments of death. The entire friggin universe blowing up around its head oughtta kill that thing. -Dr. [REDACTED]

Result: SCP-682 is beaten to an inch of his life.

Test: FIERCE PORK TROOPA!

Result: Failure - After consuming said trooper, SCP-682 was heard noting that it "tastes like bacon."

Test: Have Sharkeisha molly-whop SCP-682's bitch ass.

Result: SCP 682 ate it.

[[REDACTED]], WHY IS THAT [[REDACTED]] everyone? Dr.[REDACTED]

Test: Have SCP 682 to fight Weegee.

edited 9th Apr '14 12:24:00 PM by muted

Result: predictable except that after [REDACTED] SCP-682 has now donned Weegie's green hat.

Test: Shoot it with the Death Star

The best part about this test is that even if it somehow survives the blast we'll be able to leave it on the remains of the firing range until it loses the adaptations. Its nice that it only evolves to survive and not to relieve boredom. -Dr. Trooper

Result: 682 ate the death star. Somehow. Although murmurs about it being "Crunchy" and having stomach cramps.

"[[REDACTED]] it!" ~Dr.[[Redacted]]

Test: Introduce it Marijuana/Weed