Buying drinks from SCP-294

Result: A dark red liquid with the opacity and consistency of blood was dispensed. Upon drinking, the D-class received several deep lacerations and had to be rushed to medical facilities. He is expected to make a full recovery in X months.

Test: A cup of Wonder

Result: A bright blue liquid. Upon drinking, D-class felt wondering about the entire site.

Test: A cup of senpai

Result: Test subject now had an extreme desire to be observed at all times.

Test: A cup of TEH AELINS FRUM TEH OTUAR SPAESS (Master Chief's horrible machinima from Arby n' the Chief: The Movie)

result: a bitter yellow liquid that was reported as tasting like a turkey that fell into a rubble and was served without getting cleaned first.

test: a glass of 20 gauge shotgun buckshot supercooled to room temperature.

bump

edited 27th Mar '16 11:11:23 AM by Alucart23

OUTPUT: A cup of liquid lead, at 70 degrees Farenheight. Cup was shaped like a shotgun slug, just, you know, in foam. Upon testing, D-72234E noted that it tasted "exactly like a really cheap, but really old wine". After [___] hours, D-72234E was found to be dead of lead poisoning. The remaining liquid had reformed into solid lead.

I'm not cleaning that up. -Dr. O'Malley

INPUT: One cup of Gao Gai Gar.

Dr. Calvin has displeased me. - Dr. O'Malley

edited 28th Mar '16 9:47:44 PM by OmegaShadowcry

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Input: A cup of SCP-294.

Result: 294 did not dispense any liquid. Instead, the display screen simply read "Nice try, jackass."

Note: Ha! Got ya good, Dr. Calvin! - Dr. Ryans

Test: A cup of Omae Wa mo Shindeiru.

Result: [REDACTED]

Test: A cup of 007.

Have agent [REDACTED] drink it! - Dr Stroll

RESULT: SCP-294 dispensed water filled with bacteria not matching any known organisms on Earth. Analysis reveals the bacteria to be identical to a species inhabiting SCP-007.

REQUEST: A cup of Rickroll.

Result: A cup of [REDACTED] liquid. When a D-235 drink it, it will sing never gonna give you up repeatedly until D-235 is tranquilized by Agent Lon.

Test: A cup of K-class scenario.

edited 18th Apr '16 3:58:33 AM by TheEngineer24

Result: Testing denied by O5 council. "Don't want to risk an XK." - O5-9 Test: A cup of what makes Dr. King get apple seeds from every test.

Output: SCP-294 dispensed a cup of blood. Later examination- corroborated by Dr. King feeling ill and lightheaded immediately after -proved it was his blood; apparently, simply being Dr. King creates that reaction.

Input: A cup of decaying plant matter and animal feces, fermented for 1000 years.

Result: bump

Test: A cup of dank memes.

Result: [REMOVED BY O5 REQUEST.]

Dear lord, someone kill that thing! -DR RW.

Test: A cup of SCP 008

Result: Test denied by O5 Council. Researcher who made this request demoted to D-Class.

Test: A cup of cup.

Result: A cup containing a chalky white fluid which, when poured out onto a flat surface, began forming itself into a smaller, but otherwise identical-looking styrofoam cup. An attempt at drinking resulted in the D-class suffering anal blockages and eventually [REDACTED]

Input: A cup of power copying ability

Result: A blue liquid. When drank, gave the subject ability to copy abilities with a touch of the right hand.

Test: A cup of Dimensional Donuts.

result: cup containing a pink, viscous liquid with multicolored sprinkles, samples show large amounts of sugar. like, enough that one droplet put you into a coma.

input: a cup of protoadamantium

Result:A blue-ish metal thick drink made up of [DATA EXPUNGED] and [REDACTED]. A D-Class was ordered to drink it. After drinking it, the taste is metal, but with an aftertaste of Pepsi Blue. 40 Minutes later, The Subject begun to have massive energy spikes in activity.

" Seriously, who's going to stop the subject? He's gone completely [EXPLISIVE] insane. Someone, put the subject out of it's misery. I don't want to see him ever again. " -Dr. Reinfield

Input: A cup of Senzu bean Smoothie, A Cup of Goku's Saiyan Blood, and A Bottle of Saiyan Juice. \\ (Requested by, Dr. Yrisendale as a part of his Otaku travels.)

Result: A cup of [REDACTED] liquid. Causes a massive surge in activity, violentness, and superhuman powers.

Input: A cup of enclaves.

Result: A cup of liquefied soil from Kaliningrad Oblast, Russia.

Test: A cup of SCP-682's blood. I then dare someone to drink it.

edited 25th Jun '16 4:17:48 PM by AHI-3000

Result: A cup of [DATA EXPUNGED], highly toxic.

Input: A cup of a hot summer day.

Result: A semi-opaque, glowing bright yellow and liquid with a greenish tint poured out of the machine. Upon drinking, the D-class said it tasted like "hot lemon-lime Gatorade." He began glowing brightly and brought the temperature in the room up by XX degrees Celsius. Everyone else in the room remarked that it was "too hot". The effects tapered off somewhat after 12 hours, and disappeared completely after 24.

Test: A cup of drastic

Note: Please get someone other than Dr. Calvin or Dr. Alucart to do the test. "Bump" and "DATA EXPUNGED" are not sufficient to put in as results. -Dr. Lew

edited 27th Jun '16 6:42:19 AM by lewattoo

Test: A foaming, reddish drink that is very hot and smells like spray paint. Drinking it causes a burning throat and irrational behavior.

Input: A cup of Saparmurat Niyazov.