I am currently reimagining Viandas to go with New Dawn's reimagination, and instead of being Deus Angst Machina
, cliches and overwrought attempts at copying what was done before, I decided to make it Black Comedy
Dark Fantasy semi-parody.
One of the earliest funny things that happens is, ah, this;
Johnson, irate and confused, simply sat there twitching as the woman who was supposed to be hiring him tended to a tiny cut on his cheek. He was supposed to be the Dark Prince, the forsaken mercenary outlaw willing to kill anyone for any pay who rejected a life among royalty...and she was treating him like he was some kid.
Well, to be fair to her, he was 14, scruffy, and probably making a pouting face she considered adorable. Making it this far was mostly luck, really, with his undeveloped body.
The woman asked, "There, now, are you feeling better, dear?"
Johnson tried to look away to disguise his blush at being treated in such a way, "...I-I've had worse. S-So, we gonna discuss how you're payin' me?"
His host just smiled, and said, "Hmm, so me saving you from Ser Phallic Symbol was not enough? Do I need to fight beside you?"
He shook his head no, still very sore about how he had ended up in the coils of that two headed snake thing. It disguised itself as a pretty woman, and he might've been a jaded merc, but he was a jaded teenage
merc. He was gonna use Darkiron Triangle to rip that bastard a new one. Disguising himself as a woman to lure in a teenage boy was sick and wrong on so many levels.
Levels of sick and wrong he hadn't seen since Ein Woe's ill-fated attempt to get a job in the circus.