HOLY CRAP, I STARTED THE APOCALYPSE!

Said dog is asymptomatic carrier for a mutated rabies which then triggers the Zombie Apocalypse.

I kill The Pope by accident.

God gets really, REALLY pissed.

I do all my college assignments on Friday instead of procrastinating until Sunday.

......but by not playing video games you failed to conplete a game that destroys the world if not beaten in time. GOOD GOING.

I make !!EPIC WAFFLES!!

The waffles are so good that their sheer deliciousness causes mass insanity when people are barred from eating them.

I have to threaten Eldritch Abominations to "stay out of reality, or else"…… In other words, a usual April day for me.

Your nonchalant invocation of Hellboy quotes in real life is so badass, it makes the Universe explode.

I fix a bug in the Flash game I'm working on.

edited 17th Apr '13 6:32:59 PM by Meklar

Not only do you not fix the bug, that bug was a microportal to a realm made of Squick. The resulting disgust is so powerful that is dissolves the entire Earth.

I'm fighting Pirate Zombie Megatron , whose riding a Giant Robot Ninja Dragon, in space, while I'm flying on the back of a Turbo Cyber Deathbeast from The Abyss.

edited 17th Apr '13 6:40:05 PM by OmegaShadowcry

You are hit by an interstellar passenger plane and sucked into the engine. The enormous plume of fire and rain of debris that shoot out the other side wipes out civilization on a nearby planet. Said civilization was in charge of developing a cure for a deadly interplanetary plague, which means you just destroyed a hundred planets' last chance of survival. It's like a chain reaction apocalypse.

I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper.

The Doctor Pepper drinks YOU! And the rest of reality.

I decide, from now on, when I'm fighting, to fight on the back of a Undead Cyborg Dragon while wielding the Greatsword of +90 Arse-Kicking.

A demonic mutant golem being ridden by a hellknight wielding the +100 axe of fightin' scrappy challenges you. This causes earth to become a nexus for countless Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny battles that slowly destroy city after city.

I drive a schoolbus full of nuns off a cliff.

SCP-343 declares that he's had it with our shit and starts the rapture. No one is invited.

I think too hard.

Your mind folds inwards on itself in its' calculations and proves that, mathematically speaking, our universe does not exist. It disappears in a puff of logic.

I invent a new flavor of Coca-cola.

You create a flavor so unnatural that it attracts Azathoth. Nce Job Breaking It Hero.

I poke the Didact.

Which turns into an Eldritch Abomination and eats reality.

I eat potato chips, epically.

Your level of ham creates a portal to a dimension of megalomaniacal pigs, who are now battling it out for control of Planet Earth.

I check the time on my watch.

While looking down, you crash into a car. The car flies off of the nearby bridge, awakening all of the kaiju in the water. They're angry you woke them up. They plan on taking revenge.

I stay up past my bedtime

edited 13th Aug '16 11:54:02 PM by DaftPunch

You staying up late scares the Sandman, who dies due of a heart attack and no one can sleep, what gradually throws everything into chaos.

I try to melt chocolate in a microwave.

The microwave explodes, sending radiation across the land.

I watched Foodfight

You are inspired to throw a tomato at Azathoth, waking him up. Needless to say, this is not a good idea.

I go to sleep.

You snore so loud you wake up Typhon sleeping under Mt. Vesuvius and he proceeds to destroy the earth, the heavens, and your pet cat.

I type on this here keyboard.

edited 14th Aug '16 9:29:22 PM by Jamiester

Your fingers bang on the keys so hard that they cause multiple earthquakes in your area. The cracks then merge into one huge fissure that bifurcates the earth.

I am taking an exam.

The arrangement of your answers on the Scantron sheet is the exact incantation to summon Cthulhu's lesser known, more irate cousin Fthulhu, who destroys the world to prove himself to the other Elder Gods.

I connect to a Wi-Fi network.

You somehow destroyed the Internet causing global civilization collapse.

I'm driving a t-90 tank.

Your Tank has very powerful ammo, and a very sensitive fire button. Just bumping the edge of your finger against it'll cause it to fire! OH NO! IT DID!

I'm reading a mysterious book I found in the public library!