Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

I can't remember if I used to believe this or not as I can only remember my mother telling the same things to my younger brother and I was old enough not to believe it by that point... but anyway, my mother used to tell me/lil bro that peas were dinosaur eggs and if we didn't eat our peas they'd hatch. I presume the implication of us getting eaten in turn is involved because obviously any kid wouldn't eat the peas hoping for little dinosaur pets. Oh, and broccoli were little trees.

Real Life rwby rose

I thought babies came out of the mother's mouth.

a+b+down = 100% catch rate

edited 18th Oct '10 2:04:26 PM by ColdFriction

I used to think Speed Racer was a Hanna-Barbara cartoon.

Oh! Thought of some more.

I thought "rape" solely referred to having slept (literally) with someone without thier permission.

I thought "prostitute" and "prisoner" meant the same thing (namely the latter).

I was afraid to play video games out of the fear that every game had a lengthy, nightmarish, Game Over sequence. (I blame Donkey Kong Land)

edited 18th Oct '10 2:11:03 PM by Daionusthe23rd

I used to think that my father was the one that put clouds in the sky (because that's what my mom told me, though she actually meant "father" as in God) so on clear days I'd always ask him to...go put clouds in the sky.

Chances are, I'm not actually wearing any pants right now.

I used to think the Iraqis and Iroquois were the same group of people. Darned mental typos. >>

I remember as a kid asking my mom or dad about what would happen if a menorah were to break. No matter how many times they said you could buy another one, I was distressed cause I had it in my head that you can't just go out an buy a menorah, they were old things that just came issues in Jewish households. I simply could not concieve of just waltzing into a store and buying something like that.

I also for the longest time misheard "getting your tubes tied" as "getting your boobs tied" so I thought if a woman didn't want to have babies a doctor has to twist up her boobs somehow.

Emperor Wu liked cake, but not exploding cake!

I thought Barney was a purple oviraptor.

Kill all math nerds

Now I have a mental image of the Maccabees ordering a factory built to produce menorahs for all the Jewish households that would ever exist.

“Love is the eternal law whereby the universe was created and is ruled.” — St. Bernard

I thought angels brought the babies down, literally.

Like, the mother would go into the hostpital and onto the bed, and an angel would walk into the room with the baby.

ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖅ ᐊᑕᐅᓯᖅ ᓈᒻᒪᔪᐃᑦᑐᖅ

When I was a kid, I used to think that the song Roxanne was about a woman who controlled a traffic light.
Years later, I found out that it's about a prostitute...

Either children really are innocent... or I'm just an idiot.
I think it's the second one.

edited 19th Oct '10 1:24:33 AM by Fuzy2K

You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.

My sister used to think we lived inside of the earth and wondered why there weren't holes in the sky from the rockets.

Oh, and one time when we were watching the little mermaid I had this gem of a conversation:

Me: How can they kiss if they are not married in real life?

Friend: Maybe they are really married.

Me: Or maybe they're PRETENDING to kiss!

Other Friend: No, they're probably using fake lips.

Read my stories!

I remember when I was younger that my Mom bought me a book on "The Facts Of Life", so to speak. In said book (which fascinated me - seriously, there is no point in my life where I wasn't a biology nerd), the act of sexual intercourse was described, rather narmishly, as "special cuddles".

When I found out about sex (due to a bunch of boys giggling and making references to it at school), I understood what it was...but I thought that "having sex" and "special cuddles" were two different things! I used to think that you would have "cuddles" to make a baby and have sex when you just wanted to do it for the hell of it. When I finally put two and two together, I felt awakward, to say the least...

~Pirka

I am so tempted right now to add "special cuddles" to my personal memes.

My Tumblr. Currently liveblogging Haruhi Suzumiya and revisiting Danganronpa V3.

I used to believe that homosexual meant people who have sex at home.

Also, if I insulted myself it would count as punishment and my parents would like that I was self disciplinary and not yell at me.

I also thought if I swallowed the pit of a cherry, A tree would grow inside of me and burst out of the top of my head.

I thought kissing with tongues meant not putting your tongue in someone else's mouth, but closed mouth kissing while you simultaneously swirled your tongue around in your own mouth.

Tampons really confused me as a kid. I thought they were something that stopped you from wetting your pants.

Ditto.

I didn't know erections existed when I was younger. I assumed the only logical way to have sex would be scissoring.

Read my stories!

Hehe...I thought it meant "people who have sex with homo sapiens", which I knew meant human because I read a lot; I had a bad habit of knowing more than most kids my age, but then THINKING that it meant I knew everything, and talking like I had all the answers when half of them were shit I made up to fill the blanks in my knowledge.

My dad told me that one, but it was watermelon seeds, which made me paranoid about trying to eat watermelons for years. White seeds were okay because they were fake, but BLACK seeds will KILL YOU.

My Tumblr. Currently liveblogging Haruhi Suzumiya and revisiting Danganronpa V3.

I heard older kids talking about "boners" but didn't realise they meant erections, so I assumed a boner was a kind of disease that made your penis swell up.

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For the longest time I thought it was "reap", which I took as "reaping skin off for harvest". I must have heard it at a Girl Scout sleepover telling scary stories, "He raped her"—>"He skinned her and ate the skin"

It took me a long time to realise that "rape" implied violence. For the longest time I wasn't sure what it meant, other than that it was sexual and unpleasant, and I didn't really want to know anything more about it.

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For a very long time, I thought rape was some sort of violent crime that specifically used a either a rake or pitchfork.

...wow. That makes actual rape sound perfectly sane...

~Pirka

Here's another one of mine: if you have a crush on someone, you physically wanted to hurt them.

Nan: Blah blah blah...won't mend the bloody door frame.

Me: (thinking) But there's no blood, there...