Let's Deny Watching Occult Academy!

Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin, more commonly known as Occult Academy, is a brand new anime that has recently started airing in Japan (or streaming on Crunchyroll for those watching from America). You are probably wondering which book/manga/visual novel it comes from, right? So was I, but guess what, it's part of the Anime no Chikara project: a joint venture between Aniplex and TV Tokyo to make anime that isn't based off of other properties. Said project has already resulted in So Ra No Wo To ("Sound of the Skies") and Senkou No Night Raid ("Lightning Fast Night Raid")

So, with a little time on my hands, I've decided to try liveblogging this new series. "Why the choice of thread title?" You might ask. "Is this supposed to be a Guilty Pleasure series? Or perhaps something that I should be ashamed to show to anyone else?" Well, no more than most general anime. It's not the same level of Guilty Pleasure that would be called for when watching Ichiban Ushiro No Daimaou or other animes that I've seen that should probably not be named here. It's based on the main character's lines in the first episode. You'll see what I mean with the title in the blog of the first episode.

The show itself is actually not that bad (or so goes my first impression). It takes place in a school in Japan circa 1999, known as the Waldstein Academy, where the principal has died from a heart attack and his estranged daughter is returning to the school to attend the funeral. What dangers await, what mysteries lurk within...the Occult Academy [dun-dun-DUNNNNNNN]

Now sit back, relax, and read on as I try to liveblog this thing.

edited 18th Jul '10 5:02:29 PM by DocHaus

Episode 1: MAYA's Prophecy.

—"I need a teleport!" shouts a man running through forest. I'm guessing that's what they call pizza in this world? No, wait, he's being chased by some evil bat. Cut to scene of mysterious military setup with laptops, guy says he's pyrokenetic but can't handle this monster. Something about a key.

—Teleport chamber opens and...oops, looks like he didn't make it. Abe Minoru #5 failed, only #6 is left. Guess it's not like Al-Queda, where they can just bump up the next guy in the food chain? Guy clasping hands Gendo-style as he looks at the picture of a young Japanese boy (obviously) on his screen.

Cue OP.

—Cut to sorta-modern-day Tokyo, will the world be destroyed in 1999? Was Nostradamus right? How did the Weekly World News afford prime TV time in Japan?

—Girl walking out of the train station with her bag, talking on a phone to Ami. Cards pop up: show is set in July, 1999 in the Nagano Prefecture. She's headed for Waldstein (the "Occult") Academy. Cab driver mentions previous headmaster died of heart attack and EVIL THINGS RUMORED TO HAPPEN THERE! LIKE MONSTERS AND A TENGU! THIS IS NOT FORESHADOWING NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

—Giant dragon fountain in the middle of the academy. I would've gone with hot mermaid chicks, or maybe one of those "peeing cherubim" models. But hey, nothing says "mystic" like Dragons.

—Yep, principal actually died. Class has a moment of silence as girl arrives late. It seems that this girl was the daughter and...holy crap, the vice-president sucks some kind of snot drip back into her nose. That really screws up the mood, unless the beginning was just a big trolling attempt.

—The Ami from before reveals this girl's name: Maya Kumashiro.

—The VP is apparently not the best at public speaking. Or maybe she should take some anti-histamines. She reveals a cassette (remember folks, 1999 technology, even if they do somehow have teleportation the CD hasn't completely beaten cassette tapes yet!) with the late principal's last message.

—Principal believes in reincarnation, his daughter seems real impatient. Principal talks about a spell for stumbling upon a spirit, and says the spell out loud through the tape. After his daughter gasps in shock...nothing happens.

—"Oops, wrong one!" Ha, even in death, the principal is trolling everyone. Except he then says it was a spell to summon the dead. As if on cue, the lights go out! The shutters open! A purple fog enters and complains about being woken from the dead, enters the coffin, and possesses the principal's body. Then he threatens to kill everyone while the voice on the tape decides to go to bed. Either the principal really did this for the lulz, or the VP accidentally picked up his first draft tape. Judging by her reaction, it's probably the former.

—As the students struggle to get out of the room, the undead principal's first target is a glasses-wearing girl named Kozue, and...holy shit! Flying chair to the face by Maya! She gets on stage and starts shouting that there are no such things as spirits (what?) and claims that it was staged. Either we're heading into Flat-Earth Atheist territory, or this is the worst idol concert ever.

—Hey! Hey! Purple steam behind you...too late. Undead principal springs out of his coffin and flies out of the roof.

—Maya now talking as if she believes in spirits. "Which one is it?" exclaims her friend Ami.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

—Undead principal leaves behind trail of green slime. Kozue looking up spirit in library, Maya answers it is a lamie. Kozue calls her out on her BS when Ami returns with two guys: JK, a fat, goth-looking occult dowser, and Smile, the less-than-happy mechanic who is "good in a fight." Guess we know who's going to be the first to get beat up.

—The Academy is 20-stories high, and her dad wanted a school that would eventually cover elementary school through university.

—Flashbacks of Ami and Maya's fun times interrupted when Kozue gets slime on her glasses, and...where did she go?

—Yep, she got possessed by the spirit, and Smile punches her in the face. Huh, guess his advertisement was right.

—Guess being undead doesn't improve eyesight. But it does give her the power of projectile vomit.

—How does one kill a lamie? Maya knows...

—Flashback! Principal tells Maya that he made it all up! Apparently, he was so busy he didn't even realise that his wife died two years ago. Now he feels regret for not spending more time with the family.

—To stop a lamie...cut off the head of the first one possessed! Which means bye-bye daddy. So I guess this wasn't a flashback after all?

—Ami finds Maya in a room with lots of torture devices, and the sight of a Mysterious Suited Man.

—Flashback (for real) as Maya talks about her father researching the occult so much he really neglected her and her mother.

—Mysterious Suited Man talks about some kind of scheme with the flustered VP.

—Now Maya bears a grudge against the school and swears to destroy it. "I HATE THE OCCULT!" She cries out from the roof as a cell phone drops from the sky, followed by a great light! And from the heavens drops a naked boy with swim goggles. His words of wisdom? "It was bright." Maya can only stare in shock.

Next Episode Preview: Spear-fighting Maya! Naked boy gets clothes at some point! Some girl gets force-choked! Maya has a shower scene! "The Advent of BUNMEI" is the title of the next show.

edited 19th Jul '10 6:39:36 AM by DocHaus

Maya's facial expressions re made out of awesome and win.

That they are, especially at the start of episode 2.

Maya ratchets her tsun-tsun attitude up to 11 in Episode 2: "The advent of BUNMEI"

Recap of the end of last episode: Maya proclaims her hatred of everything occult just as she sees a great light open up in the sky and a naked boy with swim goggles floats down from above. Maya ain't 'fraid of no ghosts, spirits or demons. But naked mysterious, heaven-sent naked boys? Fuck that, she takes off running. Boy chases after her, but falls into a pit George of the Jungle style.

Line of the episode: "More like Nostra-lies-mus" if you ask me!

Some people arguing over a TV while Maya tries to rest. Some boy who claims to be able to bend spoons with his mind. Called Bunmei (HINT, HINT), insists his name is Fumiaki, and bends a spoon on live tv. Maya amuses herself instead by playing with the camera mode on the cell phone and takes a picture of herself in the mirror, but HOLY SHIT IS THAT A SKELETON! MAYA STOLE HER OWN SOUL BY TAKING A PICTURE OF HER REFLECTION! DRAMATIC MUSIC!

(ahem)

Maya proclaims herself ruler of the Academy, and holds up her daddy's last will as proof. She seems to be shaken from the events of yesterday, but still determined to destroy the Academy from within and asks the VP lady for the school's finances. VP instead introduces a new teacher...the naked boy from yesterday is now teaching sophomore history at the school. I assume it's the kind of history where we learn how Genghis Khan is really an evil vampire.

Abe Minoru! He was mentioned in the last ep.

Maya gives the VP her evil eye and she jets out of the room. Abe doesn't even get a chance to speak before Maya tries to kill him.

Now Abe claims to be a "time agent" from the future. So all we need is a childish manifestation of God and a Deadpan Snarker and our main cast will be complete.

Flashback...er, forward to 2012, the world will be conquered by aliens from another dimension. And a boy named John Connor will rise up to lead humanity against them in a war that will...oops, wrong movie.

Oh, there was more than one Abe Minoru. Codename for time agent? This Abe happens to be a psychokinetic master with a laid-back attitude, called by the Powers That Be to go back in time and prevent the Nostradamus Prophecies from coming true. Waldstein is (SURPRISE!) the center where it all began near the end of July, 1999. Something called Nostradamus Key opened the rift where the aliens came through, and Abe must destroy it. He is told that Abe has a cover as a history teacher, and is asked to skim through a history book from that time. It's "analog." Oh, the horror!

Apparently, the cellphone has magic powers too. It only looks like a '99-era cell, but apparently it somehow uses the wielder's mind to display what the results will be like in 2012, perhaps erasing them from existence? And it's critical to finding the key if he can find a picture with less apocolyptic imagery. And there's a normal camera hidden inside too. Hope those options aren't next to each other, that would be a bitch to fix.

Abe puts on a "time suit" and is warned about space-time storms that will strip him naked if he's not careful.

Back to the present, Maya doesn't believe his story, despite her hated knowledge of the occult. She talks about seeing him look like the spoon-bending kid from before, and tells him to try bending another spoon she dropped on the floor to prove he's the same guy. After straining to produce the same result, Maya gets impatient and throws his ass out.

Later in the classroom, students are talking about the Nostradamus stuff, proving that the Weekly World News has more penetration in Japan than we thought. Kozue doesn't get Maya's attitude, Ami's explanation was that her parents divorce caused her to snap.

Abe reports to his superiors and accidentally sees creepy things in the storage room, followed by the creepy face of JK...and SMILE KOs JK IN ONE HIT! HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS GUY NOW!

Maya heads to her daddy's cremation with the VP. Rain falls down as Maya moves into her daddy's place for the night. The Mysterious Suited Man from before claims to have done it to remove evidence, but Maya's actions are putting a crimp in the VPs plans.

MAYA SHOWER SCENE! And of course someone is there. Maya opens the curtain and..no one? But blood appears on the mirror, loosely spelling "Don't get in the way." Spooky! Rocking chair rocks by itself! Door shuts! Lightning strikes! Abe takes photos with his camera! Window breaks! Mysterious footsteps! Could we stick any more horror movie cliches in this scene?

Abe leaps through the window, but I used up my George of the Jungle reference, so make your own here. The mysterious footprints are undeterred by Abe's position, and kick him over as he argues with Maya. Hey Maya, you think maybe you should stop hating on the poor guy and start worrying about those footsteps.

Oops, looks like Maya's tsundere-ness is biting her in the ass...or Force-choking her, in this case. Screen turns red to show an undead ghost, when a brick comes loose and HOLY LIGHT floods the screen, banishing the ghost and revealing a book.

The principal speaks to Maya from beyond the grave again, this time in the form of written word. He tried to find and destroy the key that would bring about the Nostradamus prophecies, but was killed by someone else. So he wrote down a bunch of "defensive spells" in the notebook.

—>Maya: *slap* "Hey, my dad tried to find that key you want!" —>Abe: "You just said that stuff was bullshit!" —>Maya: *slap* "Of course it sounds that way when YOU say it!"

The next day Abe finally gets his moment of peace away from tsun-tsun Maya, teaching Japanese History from that '99-era textbook that doesn't include the part where a portal opened up and aliens invaded. However, guess who's sitting in the back of the room? MAYA! And she later pledges to help him find the key! J-j-just don't think i-it's because she l-likes the occult or Abe or anything! BAKA!

The episode ends with Maya punching Abe in the face with her bracelet wrapped around her knuckles after Abe makes the mistake of asking if she secretly likes the occult.

Wait, so does she like her father or not? Does she want to run the academy to spite the VP or is she really planning to take the money and run to spite her dead dad? Does she believe in the occult or is she simply a Flat-Earth Atheist? GAAAHHH! Maya's tsundere-ness is making me rip the hair out of my head and this is only the second episode!

Next episode: VP is in wuv! Abe is annoyed, but sees a cute girl who isn't Maya! The evil bat from the first episode re-appears! "MIKAZE Blows Through" is the title.

edited 23rd Jul '10 6:40:23 PM by DocHaus

Oh, she believes in the Occult.

She just hates it for being stupid.

I always saw it as her having a beef with it for taking away her father.

Apologies for the delay for the both of you reading this...having to deal with 2+ days worth of power outages will do that.

Now it's on to Episode 3: "MIKAZE Blows Through."

Ami and Kozue are sitting in a classroom. Apparently, there's been some mysterious disappearances around town. Maybe a tengu did it? Ami talks about a Tengu Kid Torakichi who was captured and taken to another world by a tengu. So maybe that's the evil bat from the first ep?

Maya calls Ami stupid. Kozue magically produces a bug catcher's net and bonnet from hammerspace and offers to catch it. Points for optimism though.

Silly Kozue, Abe isn't a tengu!

Flashback to the FORESHADOWING by Taxi Driver guy in Ep #1

Abe laughs at Maya's suggestion of a Tengu being behind the disappearances...wait, I thought Maya was the cynical one here?

Maya says Tengu = Dogs of Heaven/Shooting Stars/UFO

Ouch, stop tempting fate Abe. When a tsundere slowly opens up, you don't try to rip the door open, that's just asking for a blunt object to the face.

Maya hypothesizes that the tengu are an advance scouting team for the aliens. Abe thinks they might lead them to the key.

Maya gives the evil eye again, before stating the tengu might have killed her father. Who doesn't have motive to kill daddy at this time?

Outside, VP chatises Abe's cleanliness, then wants to find his motive for being alone with Maya. Abe tries to compliment her hair, but DRAMATIC CLOSEUP ON VPs HAIRBUN! OH GOD!

Uh oh...Abe unleashed the Christmas Cake beast! After seeing what his future would be with VP using his magical cell phone camera, Abe's face turns to stone as he walks away. Maybe if the VP just found a man, she wouldn't be trying to enact her own evil plan with the Mysterious Suited Man.

Abe walking back to his apartment...HOLY CRAP, BEADY EYES! Or maybe prototype Sam Fisher goggles.

The old lady has a message about proper trash collecting. Holy crap, that's one way to scare your kids into recycling their plastic bottles.

TV time with the psychokinetic kid who can bend spoons again! Uchida Bunmei!

Flashback, young Abe/Uchida eats curry. If only he could return to that simpler time...wait a minute, this IS that time! Abe calls his past self on a pay phone, but can't work up the nerve to say anything.

A car passes by as Abe sees the Beady Eyed landlord...or her older sister who apparently owns this resturaunt. Wow, these people know how to attract repeat business. Where's Gordon Ramsay when you need him?

After a very long wait, Abe is annoyed that his order's taken so long, but he looks up and...it's an attractive young girl! Who doesn't try to hit him!

"Just my type," Abe says before the commercial break.

Yeah, he was talking about the curry...but there his past self is again on the TV, bending spoons for squealing fangirls. But once he couldn't do it...lemme guess, his life went the Macaulay Culkin route?

"Is something wrong?" Yeah, you're praising Fumiaki-chan without realizing the same guy from 12-13 years in the future is right in front of you.

Old lady reveals cute girl's name is Mikaze (from the title...odds she'll be the macguffin in this episode?).

Next day...Kozue is missing! Ami doesn't seem to care, saying she often goes somewhere to gain spiritual powers, like a temple or a waterfall.

Abe so focused on Mikaze he forgot about the tengu thing.

Hey, it's JK! He's looking for the Tengu for his classwork with his spiritual dousing rods. Hey, don't cut away! Where's Smile? Where is he, dammit?

Back to Abe enjoying Mikaze's company. Over and over and over again. Eventually, Mikaze gives him a treat as a bonus! And she asks him out! Good for you, Abe!

Abe straightens his hair in an old bus station, when Mikaze pulls up to him in a brand new car. A little bit of happiness follows as Mikaze explains the seatbelt thing, and then the tour around town, followed by her kicking it into gear, Initial D style.

Mikaze acts as tour guide while Abe is trying to recover from the car ride between each stop.

Elsewhere, Maya gets a map from the VP, and marks the places where people have disappeared, including Zouzan Bunker. One of the places Mikaze mentioned and a place where the Japanese government planned to move high-level people near the end of WWII. Coincidence?

Abe, a hot girl takes you in her car, don't suggest public transportation.

The two of them share food together...Abe makes a victory sound. I laughed for some reason. Mikaze talks about the history of oyaki, and then they are heading to Zouzan Bunker. Dun-dun-DUNNNNNNN

Zouzan bunker, strangely enough there's no one there, as Abe is savvy enough to point out. Mikaze holds herself close to Abe, giving him some added courage. Huh, some of the fence is cut off, is the tengu there? No, it's Maya!

Mikaze is crying for some reason. Are the paper cranes really that depressing? Apparently they were for her. She talks about the various people that died in the Bunker near the end of the war and cries in remembrance.

Hypothesis: Mikaze is the tengu's not-evil form.

Hypothesis 2: Mikaze is also a time-traveler of some sort.

Maya is running from something when she pulls out a crossbow...the tengu! She hits it with a bolt, but it's not enough. The monster dive-bombs her and sends her mining helmet flying!

"To be continued..."

Overall, I didn't enjoy this ep. as much as the previous two, but I hear the action will pick up in the next one. Let's hope so.

Next episode preview: Abe looks forlorn, Mikaze looks content, Abe searches through a cave, Abe cries out in happiness, Abe sits on a giant pile of poop. The tengu appears! Maya reappears with her crossbow! "The Collapse of Bunmei" is the name of the next episode.

edited 30th Jul '10 8:23:31 PM by DocHaus

Episode 4: The collapse of BUNMEI. How does Abe/Uchida collapse, and does it involve falling into that giant poop from the preview? Let's find out!

Maya is missing after last night's encounter with the tengu, and the VP can't find her or Kozue for that matter...woah, VP's voice jumps a couple octaves when she asks Abe to find them. Guess she's still loving that hair complement. Abe runs for the door with the pictures.

Mysterious Suited Man returns to discuss the evil plan with VP, but he didn't count on the VP...truly falling in love with Abe!

[Cue OP]

As Abe searches through the city, he sees a "missing persons search group" tent. Guess this happens a lot in Japan, huh?

Mikaze is back! And she's helping with the search! She offers to take Abe in her car, and Abe reluctantly accepts, wanting to keep his lunch inside of his stomach for once.

Mikaze pulls over and asks for directions. Women, am I right fellas?

slap

Okay, I deserved that one.

Mikaze drives through the countryside when she thinks she saw something come out of the Amato Shrine, so she checks it out with Abe, but no one is there.

Thanks to the God of Plot Devices, Mikaze trips over a rock, falls into Abe, who pushes in a stone with a secret passageway behind.

Mikaze can hear the wind coming from behind the stone. Ironic, considering her name in Japanese.

Hey, where did she get those flashlights?

JK and Smile return! And they're searching for the principal too!

Mikaze accidentally trips into Abe's arms again. They decide to hold hands as they travel further into the cave. There's talk of a pyramid-like mountain as they continue walking and of course, that spiritual power might be somewhere inside, then a drop of cold water hits Abe on the back of his neck.

Cuts between Abe screaming as he runs and the VP writing in her diary about how said guy makes her heart flutter.

"His legs are as the wind." "His eyes are clear." "His voice dances softly on the wind." "And he takes my hand and gently dances with me." Okay Bella, but what about the werewolf?

Abe picks himself up to realize he screamed like a little bitch when he ran from the evil water, and now he has no clue where Mikaze is. He sees a light and runs towards it...MAYA WITH A CROSSBOW!

Maya expresses her relief by punching him in the face. Glad everything is back to normal.

Minakamina Pyramid Theory again. An old Japanese guy theorized that there was a pyramid in Japan, not just the ones my ancestors built in Egypt.

Back to JK and Smile...holy shit, that is a giant monkey wrench. Calling it now: Smile would beat Graham Spector in a fight.

Maya and Abe are still searching through the cavern when they come across some crystalline formation. What is it?

[commercial break]

The World Tree? Maya wonders if this could be Yggdrassial/Fusang/etc. of various legends. The source of the pyramid's power. Could this be Nostradamus key? Nope. Abe's phone gives a negative reading.

Abe tempts fate again, sliding off the ledge into the giant poop.

Oh man, Abe #5's phone is in the pile of poop...that tengu must have a serious stomach. Abe #6/Uchida tries to show her it when the tengu dives at them. Anyone else get a Final Fantasy battle vibe when the rock music started playing in the background?

JK and Smile are continuing their search when Abe and Maya run right behind them with the monster in pursuit. "Did we imagine that?" JK asks. This seemed really funny at the time.

"You're a guy! Stop being a wuss!" Maya exclaims what half the audience is thinking. He can bend spoons, doesn't he have any cool weaponry or high tech gadgets? Or can't he use his spoon-bending abilities to send the tengu into a wall or something?

Cut to a shot of future (past?) Uchida turning his spoon bending trick on the streets for money in a tin can. He pushed the spoon on the ground, but got caught doing it. Suddenly, some guy in a suit and glasses appears and drafts him into being Abe #6. After Abe #5 died, #6 apparently wasn't the confident futuristic James Bond he portrayed himself as 2 eps ago. Saaaaaaaad.

Maya tells him to keep three meters away, mostly because of the smell, but also because of the stench...of LIIIIIIES!

As they continue down the path, Maya says the Tengu was a mothman, more of a western creature than a Japanese tengu.

Suddenly, the two find themselves in some kind of boneyard. There are pods on the wall, and Kozue is in one of them!

Uh oh, baby mothmen! that explains a lot, while Abe gets scared and runs the fuck away. Abe, abe, abe of the jungle, watch out for that...tree.

"I'm alive...I'm alive!" Hey, idiot, you forget Maya's still down there?

Maya shoots a couple of moth-boys (moth babies? mothmen children?) and knocks Kozue loose. Contrary to popular belief, it is difficult to deadlift a human of similar size and weight without some strength training, as Maya learns.

JK AND SMILE ARRIVE IN THE NICK OF TIME! YES!

"Do they have a particular weakness?" JK says yes...the power of music! He plays the electronic keyboard he keeps in his backpack (what, you don't have one?) and keeps the moths stunned as they book it out of there.

On the off chance anyone from the Anime no Chikara project is reading this, do a spinoff manga that focuses on JK and Smile. If it got licensed in America I would pay cash money for it.

As Abe continues his "I'M ALIVE!" routine, Smile knocks him off his perch as they run to safety.

Wait, who placed those explosive charges there? Maya? In any case, the cave is now sealed.

"Why don't you apologize?" Abe shouts to Maya, "I almost di—"

Maya gives them the evil eye. "Coward." My thoughts exactly.

Hey, Mikaze's back! What happened to her? Abe takes credit for defeating the tengu. Fuck you, Uchida. You've evaporated what goodwill I had for you.

VP pauses writing love poetry when the Mysterious Suited Man returns. So he set the charges? I guess.

Maya's become a nuisance to the VP's evil plan. Cut to Maya as she carries Smile's battle wrench through the forest.

Next episode: Kozue gets a physical exam! Abe gets a heartfelt bento box! Mikaze says something cute! Abe is surprised! Kozue chases a black cat! Kozue is a mummy! Maya is petulant! Also, the parallel monologuing of Abe and the VP suggests (confirms?) a Love Triangle between Abe, the VP and Mikaze. "KOZUE in the Summer" is the name of the title.

At some point, I have to pick a single name for Abe #6. Which would you guys prefer? Abe? Fumiaki? Bunmei? Uchida? Help me figure this out, folks.

Bunmei. Like everyone else.

This episode surprised me by showing that the writers had no qualms establishing Bunmei as The Load, completely ineffective and very loathsome indeed. I didn't expect it at all, so props to the series for daring it. And hey, there are enough awesome other characters around to compensate.

I like the VP's incongruous crush on him. It's ridiculous, but I think it's her facial expressions that sell it.

Next episode : Oh, Kozue. You're the Naru Osaka of the series, always somehow getting attacked by whatever monster's passing.

The facial expressions really sell the entire show, yes.

With a total of 1 out of 1 vote, the current Abe Minoru shall be referred to as Bunmei for purposes of this liveblog. Now onto the liveblog where the glasses girl tries hard to be more than a side character in Episode 5: KOZUE in the summer!

Plaid pants and shirt on the bed, did someone get lucky last night?

Maya getting ready for school...huh, Bunmei's (Abe #6) phone is still there.

Maya doesn't believe in the prophecy, but also doesn't deny that "weird stuff" has been happening.

Bunmei has had a long night, and Maya suddenly has an angry old lady face as she spots him.

Maya monologues right into Kozue's path, sending her tumbling down the stairs like a Looney Tunes sketch. Strangely enough, no one else in the building seems to notice or care.

Kozue's found something amazing: A spoon that never rusts (OO Part)! Combine that with a knife that never dulls and a fork that vibrates through mashed pertaters, and we'll have the best cutlery set ever!

[Cue OP]

OOP Art refers to objects of unknown origin, though Maya says most of them have been hoaxes, like the Iron Pillar of Delhi (note: it's a real object). Maya then reveals the spoon was made in 1995 (4 years ago), so it's not a OOP Art like Kozue thought. This only fuels Kozue's resolve to find one.

Did Maya always have bags under her eyes, or is it just me?

Maya gives Bunmei the evil eye for daring to call on her in class.

Ami wonders if something happened between Maya and Bunmei when a bandaged Kozue bursts into the room. Kozue shows orbs in a picture of herself. Spirits? No, Maya says they are reflections of light in the air. "Vast majority of spirit photography is bad photography." Poor Kozue, Maya does not fuck around.

Still hoping for a spiritual occurrence, Kozue chases a black cat, hoping it will cross her path. It proceeds to cross everywhere except by her. Just when the cat leaps to the side, Kozue thinks it happened as she tumbles down a cliff. Looney Tunes fall #2 and rebandaged Kozue appears back in the classroom to talk about her adventure. Maya gives her no points for effort.

Kozue tries to prove whether or not she has good luck or bad luck by playing Russian Roulette, first with a capgun (I assume), then with pastries containing a load of wasabi. Poor Kozue, she seems to just have naturally bad luck.

Desks start shaking in the room. Poltergeist? No, just an earthquake. Is the teacher a spirit or an alien? No, he just has bad handwriting. Way to get with the program, Maya.

Kozue then runs onto the PE field with a giant fucking snake (actually, Wikipedia sez it's a "snake-like cryptid), scaring everyone. Hey Maya, can't you just give her a bedsheet with a couple holes in it and call it a ghost?

Bunmei can't fathom why he received a box of rice that forms a heart and his name in cutesy lettering (hint: it's the VP) when he has a visitor. Or maybe he does know and doesn't want to acknowledge it.

Kozue and co. are tired from running around the track (probably running away from the Tsuchinoko) when Kozue finds a "scoop."

Bunmei's visitor is Mikaze, and she wants to sell snacks on school grounds.

"Times are tough"

Oh god, the mere mention of Mikaze's car makes Bunmei have PTSD. But he scarfs down the pastry to make her happy.

"Can I get you to taste it again?" Kinda hard when he at the whole thing.

The girls are watching him. Maya pouts and leaves, while the VP has a murderous face and the Mysterious Suited Man eats her special lunch, breaking up the heart-shaped rice.

Maya drops a cherry tomato, and Kozue tells the legend of the "three-second rule" along with other legends she knows. Maya is tired of listening to her crap, while Ami calls Maya a fatass (in nicer language).

Kozue explains that she wants an occult experience where she isn't unconscious for once, even if she can't see it.

"Ventura Ventura Space People!" (note: apparently this is a Japanese in-joke, where "ventura" is supposed to mean "spaceship" in an alien language and saying this phrase repeatedly will summon a UFO to Earth. You're welcome for ruining that joke, but hey, it's educational!)

[commercial break]

"You suck Abe!" "Stop failing!" Poor Bunmei, even the students think you're a loser.

Where's Kozue? Maya gets a phone call. "Yeah, that's what phones do." Oh Ami, you little snarker you.

Next, Ami gets a text from Kozue, claiming that she's going to become a god. What are the odds she's going to start a cult?

Bunmei gets chewed out by his superiors as he calls in on the former Abe's cell phone. Not only did he lose his own phone to someone who shouldn't have it, but he hasn't even come close to finding Nostradamus' key.

Ami and Maya run past Bunmei to find Kozue, Maya shouts "you don't have to come!" Heh, even she sees Bunmei's worthlessness.

Kozue was hiding below the Home Ec room? Yet another attempt to build her spiritual prowess gone wrong.

As Maya leaves, Bunmei finally works up the courage to demand that Maya let Mikaze sell her bread on campus. He won't take no for an answer, unless Maya gives him her trademark evil eye, because that's worked pretty well so far. Maya responds that she doesn't want people to think there's something between them, and Bunmei responds that he doesn't think of her "in that way." Maya's "tsun-tsun" side awakens as she smacks him with a giant APPROVED stamp. Quickly, grab the contract and press it to your forehead before the ink dries!

Apparently, that stamp to the head counts as a signature...hey, Bunmei, I was just kidding!

Mikaze is grateful, while the VP feels betrayed and Maya feels grumpy. Oh Bunmei, in another harem series you would have been a great male lead character.

Kozue wants to have a near-death experience as the teacher wants to recreate the process of freezing to death with a student. Well, with her luck the chamber will merely be lukewarm instead. Kozue says her practice goodbyes. "Big Sis...even in the afterlife I won't forget what you did with my pudding." It was the limited edition Pudding of Immortality and you fed it to the dog! I hate you I hate you I hate you!

So...the afterlife is a tunnel leading to a Teletubbies-meets-Yellow Submarine show? The animation is slightly different.

Oh Kozue, to think your brain is being used as a publicity stunt...for SCIENCE. Kozue is excited, seeing the pretty colors around, but she has to come back to the world of the living now. Maybe now she'll stop trying to kill herself? Strange, Kozue doesn't need her glasses, she now laughs at the occult, did being sorta-dead for 30 minutes change her personality?

Uh oh, the real Kozue's still trapped in pastel color world without her glasses? Then who or what is walking around in Kozue's body? And where are her glasses? Maybe the spirit of Kozue's glasses broke free and possessed her real body! But They Don't Want You To Know!

Next episode preview: Mikaze is crying, Bunmei is smirking, JK is smiling, Smile takes a break to ask where was his part in this episode, Ami is in a mothman suit, Maya prepares to dive. Young Bunmei appears. "BUNMEI's distance" is the name of the next episode.

Also: Kozue argues with Ami in the ending dialogue. Apparently, the kanji for "Distance" can be read as "Virgin." Cue Duck Season, Rabbit Season dialogue.

In which IT WAS THE GLASSES ALL ALONG! Or, Episode 6, BUNMEI's distance.

Kozue takes an eye exam! She seems to do well on the written portion, but the rosharch test stumps her. Just like the end of the previous episode, she appears to have done a complete 180 ever since being locked in the death simulation chamber. I'm still guessing that Kazue's glasses contained her essence, and the glasses now control her body.

Ami asks Maya if she wants to ask Bunmei for help. Lady, you'd get better help asking my cats.

Ami's desperate to find out what happened to Kozue during her near-death experience, and decides to go crazy with Maya to try and jog Kozue's memory. However, Kozue is playing the skeptic's role that time.

Ami flunks her audition as the mothman. Sorry, but they specifically requested someone capable of flight for that role.

Maya holds a copy of "Le Petit Prince" in her hand, maybe this will jog Kozue's memory? And hey...did everyone forget she's still in the machine? Or did the monitor just shut off?

Bunmei tries to make Mikaze happy with her homemade bread, but overeats his fill. Suddenly, all the secret Maya-Ami notes fly out of his jacket. He suddenly remembers that Kozue is still a student in his class.

"You suck, reading someone's notes!"

Stupid Bunmei, you can't just throw your cell phone in anger! Now Maya can't scold you from afar again!

C'mon Bunmei, use your spoon bending powers!

"No matter how much you suck, you're still Uchida Bunmei." Hey, if you can't bend the spoon, fake it like before. Yep, Maya's hit her scolding quota for today.

Bunmei does his HNNNNNNNNNG! moment, then just bends it against his stomach...wow, he didn't even try to hide that.

Kozue saying the occult is all lies. Maya agrees with her, but her reverse psychology doesn't seem to work.

Huh, Kozue's crying as she denounces her own childhood memories.

She left her heart in the afterlife, and her wallet in El Segundo. Seriously, what happened to the Kozue in the screen? Did everyone just shrug their shoulders and go to bed?

Wow, Ami just did a 360 standing jump twist in the principal's office for no reason at all! Maya pledges with her to go look for Kozue's missing heart piece.

[commercial break]

JK and Smile! They're going to help Ami, though Smile holds out for some new tools. Elsewhere, Maya makes a deal with the VP and the Mysterious Suited Man. The VP remains firm against letting her have the key, but it's only because she didn't want to reveal her journal of love poetry.

Oh God, she's still writing her poetry! Is this what the Vogon's enemies thought?

Maya dons a one-piece bathing suit and prepares to dive into Kozue's afterlife, but Bunmei stops by to complain. Then he offers to dive by himself to bring back Kozue and shows his determination by stripping right in front of Ami and Maya. They are not amused.

Bunmei is told he will have three minutes to find Kozue or he will be lost forever. I thought Kozue had 30? Then again, she did less bitching.

Naked Bunmei sees a slideshow of his past life where he was cute and popular, the rest of the audience watches it as well. His life is flashing before his eyes.

Poor child stars...sheltered from such a young age. The worst career move they can make is growing up.

Bad move, letting your mom act as your agent. Not only will you not become a spaceman, but she'll skim off half of your profits. No wonder Macaulay Culkin is all bitter now.

Oh shit, young Bunmei's mom just bitchslapped him, and on the day she promised to take him to the planetarium...

Maya apparently had a similar relationship with her father, and

Oh no, Terminator future! Is Kozue part of the Machine Spirit now?

From Terminator to Dr. Strangelove? Man, this movie needs to pick one plot and stick with it!

Hey, there's Kozue! But she's not responding. 20 seconds left! Bunmei spends more than 20 seconds trying to get Kozue to snap out of it.

Holy shit, it was the glasses on her head all along! Ami and Maya's reaction shots are just priceless.

Kozue is happy about her near-death experience, considering all her friends were worried because she forgot her glasses were on her head. You think that she might need a Post-it note to remind her how to blink next time?

Later, Maya is happy that Bunmei helped save Kozue, and she reaffirms her duty to help Kozue find Nostradamus' key. She promises to let him see a meteor shower if he succeeds.

Don't take her hand, it's a trap! See, that handshake just ripped a hole in the fabric of space and time! Nooooo!

The next day, Mikaze's bread stand from the trunk of her awesome car seems to be catching on with the school kids. Guess who's helping her, that's right Bunmei, you asked for Maya to punch you so hard you fly off into the sky. On the bright side, at least now you get the chance to see the stars up close and personal!

And wait...what was the point of asking JK and Smile to help out if they didn't even do anything in that episode? C'mon guys, when will you learn? The more stuff JK and Smile do in an episode, the more likely I am to enjoy it instead of slogging through these liveblogs like a chore! You're letting me down, A-1 & Aniplex!

Next episode preview: Watermelon! Barbeque! Sparklers! Weekly World News! Pudding cups! A UFO! "I-it's not like I like the occult now, okay?" says Maya. I did not make that last line up, she's really playing this tsundere role straight. The title of the next episode is MAYA's amigo. (Amigo means "Friend" in Spanish!)

edited 23rd Aug '10 9:43:44 PM by DocHaus

A Re you going to finish this?