Corrupt-a-wish.

It goes away because all of your skin peels off. (ew)

I wish my scalp hair was purple..

Granted, your hair falls out and everyone mocks your appearance.

I wish Asbestos was healthy.

Granted. Asbestos is now a form of amoeba and perfectly healthy—completely disease resistant in fact, still causes cancer in unfortunate people though.

I wish I to have a burst of creativity tonight and finish this chapter I'm stuck on.

edited 24th Jul '17 3:04:46 PM by CenturyEye

Granted. You come up with lots of ideas and finish that chapter. None of them are good ideas.

I wish I could actually finish my conlang.

Granted, but you are the only fluent speaker of it in the whole world.

I wish to know kung-fu.

Granted, you've learned Kung-Fu, sadly this attracts s.

You are now dead from Ninja stars in your back.

I wish all water on earth was clean and drinkable.

And all the species that survive in saltwater go extinct as a result. Oops.

I wish to be a Hogwarts student.

Granted, but you get sorted into Sparklypoo.

I wish to be refreshed with any number of hours of sleep.

Granted, but you're still as hungry as before after it.

I wish to I could remember not to look at the keys whilst typing.

Granted, but you can only type ten words a minute now.

I wish for a new hairstyle, and not one that looks like someone took a weed whacker to my hair or something.

Granted, it looks like someone took a lawnmower to your hair however.

On the bright side, you can cosplay as Saitama.

I wish i had a Benevolent Genie instead of a Jackass Genie.

Granted, you had one but it was stolen.

I wish for to the ability to lick my elbow that doesn't require me to detach any of my body parts or cause me any pain or discomfort.

Granted, you get an overly long tongue that would scare people off, they mistake you for a Youkai and no one wants to have a meal with you for the rest of your life.

I wish cancer doesn't exist.

Congratulations, you've eliminated an entire sign of the Zodiac as well as anyone born under it.

I wish that every shelter animal would find a good loving home.

Granted they all live in a mansion well fed and cared for! . . . . on your dime.

Hope you don't mind spending a couple million a month!

I wish to become a real sith lord.

edited 26th Jul '17 2:41:52 PM by vjoi

Granted, you're a noob Sith Lord and you get rekt by a Jedi Initiate in one second.

I wish I know how to survive in a Zombie Apocalypse.

Granted. You know how. It doesn't help much when The Great Panic breaks out when you're at the convenience store...

I wish I could find an online RPG at its beginning.

edited 26th Jul '17 3:44:09 PM by CenturyEye

It's a good one, but after enough posting for the day, you come back to 100 pages worth of new posts. Good luck catching up!

I wish I can eat anything without any ill effects.

Granted, No SHORT-TERM ill effects, you still die a few years later from all the stuff you've eaten having a Long term effect.

I wish to invent LUDICROUS SPEED!

Granted, you end up breaking the entire universe by travelling at that speed.

I wish I was a Dragon.

Granted, you're now a Bearded Dragon.

I wish I can grow bigger by eating mushrooms.

Granted, about 1 atom bigger per mushroom. Oh and also now all mushrooms are poisonous to you.

I wish dogs could eat chocolate without dying or getting sick.

Granted, they become chocolates whenever they eat chocolates.

I wish I can eat a star and become invincible.

Granted. You're a black hole. No, not a Sentient Cosmic Force, just a cold all-consuming hole in space. Have fun!

I wish I had an English translation of Vis and Ramin.

edited 27th Jul '17 5:37:43 PM by CenturyEye

Granted, but it's so poorly translated you can't understand it.

I wish i could turn Water into Wine.