Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, but they're poisonous.

I wish I never made a wish on this thread.

Your post gets thumped as a result.

I wish there's an extra weekend each week.

Granted, it becomes it's own week, and employers everywhere quickly exploit that fact.

I wish be in a Black Comedy where Death Is Cheap and painless.

Granted, but you never die in it, you just get hurt a lot.

I wish to encounter and catch a shiny pokémon.

Granted. The moment you catch it, your system's battery runs out, so you don't get to save with it caught.

I wish to have just made the wish that would most benefit me right now.

Granted. The benefit backfires on you three episodes later.

I wish to know the appeal of professional wrestling.

Granted. You Go Mad from the Revelation.

I wish for the biggest pizza in the world.

It's twice the size of the country you live in. Millions of people are crushed beneath it.

I wish to reverse time and wish for infinite battery before I made that last wish.

Granted, you get that battery but your game spontaneously combusts and you never are able to get Shiny Pokemon again, even via trading or cheating. Also, the police arrest you for starting a fire and you are put in jail for 10 lifetimes.

I wish to actually have motivation to work on my creations.

edited 2nd Aug '15 11:58:47 AM by KingFeraligatr

Granted. You have plenty of motivation, but now you have permanent writer's block.

I wish I didn't have this rash.

Granted. You have ceased all rash behavior.

I wish I could do my summer assignments faster.

Granted. You now have nothing to do for the rest of the summer.

I wish I had a bottle of Brain Bleach.

Turns out bleaching your brain is pretty fucking dangerous. Who would've thought?

I wish for a hug.

Granted. It's from a boa constrictor!

I wish for nothing, because I'm happy with what I have.

You lose everything you have. You now have nothing.

I wish for some snake repellant.

Granted. It only repels Sea Snakes.

I wish I was a unicorn.

Granted. To regain human form, you will have to travel 2000 miles, on foot, to the Well of Humanity. You have three months to reach it before it dries up.

I wish that the Wii U was the game console with the most third-party support this generation.

edited 5th Aug '15 9:49:03 AM by lewattoo

It gets support from all the shitty third party companies.

I wish for some good games.

Granted. They're not really your cup of tea, though.

I wish that my dog was better behaved.

Granted. Your dog now speaks and conforms to human rules of etiquette. Some shady people break in in the middle of the night and steal your now-anomalous dog for research purposes. Your dog's behavior has creeped out your friends as well, who now avoid you.

I wish to be able to travel between this world and all fictional universes at will.

You accidentally gain the attention of a Cosmic Horror that travels back to this reality and ravages it

I wish I was a saiyan

granted, you get sent back in time to the moment when planet vegeta got blown up, and youre on the planet vegeta, so you die

i wish for a cassete of my favorite songs

The cassette doesn't actually work

Complete and total omnipotence with no draw backs or catches

granted, but you arent have omniscient and you havent activated your immortality, allowing me to disintegrate you before you do, you die

i wish for a game called chronic the hedgeblog

edited 5th Aug '15 3:51:16 PM by Alucart23

It's So Bad Its Horrible, though.

I wish to live in an ideal world that doesn't taste like diabetes.

edited 5th Aug '15 6:38:08 PM by TroperNo9001